Am I Boring My Dog? (16 page)

After you’ve got your dog used to the toothbrush or toothbrush surrogate and toothpaste in a small part of her mouth, keep adding teeth to the procedure, until you get them all.

The good news: dogs’ teeth are too close together to require flossing.

No. According to the Veterinary Oral Health Council (VOHC
www.vohc.org
), brushing is the gold standard. Although the VHOC does approve some products in the following categories as complementary to dental health, the cure may be worse than the disease—especially because, unlike brushing which is interactive by definition, not everyone remembers the importance of supervising a chewing pup.

The best known of these, Greenies, were taken off the market temporarily a few years ago because they caused fatal blockages in several dogs. The chewed pieces reconstituted themselves, gluelike, in their stomachs. Greenies were reformulated to eliminate that problem, but these and similar products can still cause choking if dogs eat pieces that are too large—this usually occurs when owners ignore the size/weight recommendation—or don’t chew them sufficiently. That could be said for any food, of course, but it certainly defeats the teeth-cleaning goal in this case.

These addictive leather strips may pose multiple threats to your dog. Toxic chemicals used to cure and strip hair from the animal hides may include arsenic and formaldehyde, and carcinogenic dyes, such as Red 30, are often used to color the hides and give them flavors such as bubble gum and teriyaki. Because dogs spend hours chewing these strips, they get maximum exposure to these toxins.
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Consider, too, that rawhide expands to four times its size when soaked in liquid. This means that if your dog swallows large enough pieces, they can expand and cause intestinal blockages—just as the original Greenies did.

That’s not to suggest you should never use rawhides, as they’re a good way to keep mouthy pups from chewing even more potentially dangerous—or valuable—stuff. Just choose the type you buy carefully.
The Whole Dog Journal
emphasizes the importance of sticking to rawhides made in the United States, and especially recommends those made by Wholesome Hide in Chicago.

Hooves, tendons, ears, snouts, knuckles, and even penises … if there’s a cow or pig part that can be sold as a dog chew, it’s on the market. These anatomical edibles are promoted as all-natural, and many of them are indeed just desiccated versions of the originals. Others, especially those produced in countries outside the United States, contain dangerous preservatives. Conversely, if they’re not preserved well enough, they may contain salmonella bacteria. And the good brands are expensive.

Everyone has a gross-out threshold. I reach mine with food items that bear too close a resemblance to their origins. In addition to meeting that criterion, hooves are very hard, which means dogs can crack their teeth on them. I’m told, moreover, that they smell really pungent, as do bull penises, a.k.a. bullysticks.
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Much to my relief, Frankie wasn’t interested in the pig’s ear I once brought home—being a rescue, he could be kosher for all I know—and I’ve avoided similar items ever since.

Definitely not. These procedures, key to your dog’s health and well-being, shouldn’t be confused with fancy hairdos. If the word grooming sounds too metrosexual, think of it in automotive terms: body work (maintenance of the overall exterior, or coat) and detailing (focusing on the smaller but essential parts like feet, ears, eyes, and teeth).

It depends on the type of dog you have, the way you’d like her to look, your income, and the steadiness of your hands with clippers for hair and nails. Most people let a groomer take care of some things and do others themselves.

I have no problem, for example, brushing and bathing Frankie and giving him impromptu haircuts, but he’s small—which means resistance is futile—and his fine, wavy hair lends itself to the tousled Benji look. Expressing his anal sacs and trimming his toenails? No, thank you.

At a minimum, though, you should brush your dog regularly, the better to stimulate the skin and allow natural oils to circulate. Brushing or combing sessions are also an opportunity to peer at your dog’s pelt and, while you’re there, check out her ears, eyes, and teeth. Mats (as matted hair is known) and knots can cause skin irritations and, eventually, infections. If you don’t pay attention, fungi and insects—and, in very large dogs, squirrels and small children—may take up residence in tangled hair. So keep up with regular body-monitoring and hair care before problems become severe, painful, and costly to resolve.

The best time to get your dog accustomed to brushing and clipping is during puppyhood, but if you adopt an adult dog who isn’t used to being groomed, go slowly, introducing different procedures one at a time and associating each with treats and praise. Many dogs have sensitive areas, especially their paws—what’s with that, anyway?—so tread particularly carefully in those places.

If you’re trying to decide just how hands-on you want to get, pick up a comprehensive guide like the
Everything Dog Grooming Book
by Sandy Blackburn or a demonstration video.

To a certain degree, yes. But it doesn’t have to be expensive. Most of the required hair rakes, combs, and brushes cost less than $10. Even with clippers, which are pricier, there’s a point of diminishing returns. If you don’t invest about $250 or $300 for a sharp, smooth-cutting version, you’re likely to give your dog a hairdo that borders on animal abuse (or at least fashion victimhood). But high-status, high-tech clippers that run as high as $650 won’t produce better results; in less-than-skilled hands, their cuts can still be unkind. The good news for anyone put off by the term grooming: some of the equipment is very macho sounding—for example, the FURminator, which many vets recommend.

Each type of coat requires a different set of tools—and a different frequency of use. And mixed breeds may have hair
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that doesn’t follow any strict rules for care. The following is just a rough guide of what to expect, going from highest to lowest maintenance.

These breeds, which include Afghans, Maltese, and Yorkies—essentially, all the ones that look like trotting mops at dog shows—and several types of spaniels, require constant attention because their fine, cottony hair gets matted and tangled easily. Ideally, you should run a fine-tooth metal comb through your dog’s hair every day, even if it’s just a quick sweep. Using a wire slicker brush on the hair a few times a week is also recommended, as is seeing a groomer every other month.

These furry
and
hairy pups, which include Pomeranians, Shelties, Huskies, Collies, and Akitas, may fool you: their coats can look fluffy and neat but hide a matted mess underneath. That’s why you have to go below the surface to the undercoat, using tools like a grooming rake or the aforementioned FURMINATOR, a blade tool. You should brush weekly, at least, and visit a groomer every three months. Not only is this a good plan for your dog, but it’ll help with the housekeeping (see the following question regarding shedding).

Note:
One of the reasons that both long-haired and double-coated dogs need to be brushed, combed, and/or raked regularly is that you don’t want their coats to get to the point where they need to be shaved off entirely. Coats don’t always grow back properly, so your dog may end up with endless bad hair days. Worse, while waiting for her body-cover to reappear, your pup may suffer from sunburn, windburn, and insect bites—not to mention the itchiness and irritation of prickly hairs. Short haircuts are fine for warm weather but don’t overdo the clip-jobs.

Caring for this type of coat can range from the simple brush-and-trims I give Frankie, whose hair is not only wispy but naturally short (it stops growing beyond an inch or so), to the constant vigilance required for poodles and other water dogs with thick, curly mops that grow long and wild if not kept in check. On the plus side, these dogs have only one coat, so what you see is what you get. Brushing with a pin or slicker brush, raking, and then combing carefully usually takes care of the preliminaries, to be followed by clipping as straightforward or fancy as you like.

These trim-haired pups, among them, Boxers, Pugs, Pit Bulls, and dogs with giveaway names like German Short-Haired Pointers, require only a rubber mitt or coarse washcloth for coat care, which is more like a rubdown—more good news for the macho—than a hairdressing session.

No. Shedding is a natural, ongoing process for dogs, just as it is for humans. As anyone who’s ever worn a black sweater or jacket can attest, regular brushing and combing won’t prevent a bit of hair divestment. But some dogs, like some people (say, males of a certain age), shed more than others. The double-coated breeds are the worst offenders; many send forth so much hair that they practically create an alternative dog,
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giving rise to the expression “blowing coat.”

The only consolation is that this mass exodus of hair is seasonal, and therefore predictable. Increases in daylight and warmth in spring signal certain canine brains to release hormones that spur the dogs’ undercoat to grow and push off their topcoats. A similar, though somewhat less dramatic, version of this process occurs in fall, when the pups know they need to grow a new winter coat (unlike kids who always require back-to-school wear, at least dogs do it themselves and never demand designer labels).

A few things can interfere with regular shedding. If you keep a dog who’s genetically programmed to shed seasonally indoors most of the time, he may not register natural changes in temperature and light and therefore shed year-round. Copiously. Which proves it’s a bad idea to mess with Mother Nature. Using human shampoo on your dog can dry her skin, and even dog shampoos with perfumes that are not from natural sources may result in hypersensitivity—additional causes of shedding. Excitement and stress can trigger hair-loss hormones, too (if you can’t get your dog to meditate, consider Doga). In rare cases, excessive shedding may be a symptom of a health problem, from a food allergy to a thyroid imbalance. If your dog isn’t the shedding sort or if the off-season hair loss seems excessive, check with your vet.

Still, if shedding can’t be prevented through grooming, it can be managed by it. It’s far better to have hairs concentrated on a brush or on a newspaper than randomly faux-carpeting your floor or creating furry throws for your couch. You can entrap large swathes of your dog’s coat with a rake or deshedding tool, even—or especially—during her molting season.

There’s always the vacuuming fallback. See Chapter 9 for details.

First, I’d like to address the question of who benefits from a dog washing. I’ve read that dogs love being clean. Ha. If they’re so keen on personal hygiene, why do dogs persist in rolling around on bird carcasses? Why do they resist our efforts to wash them, and show no interest in washing themselves (licking their privates doesn’t count)?

If they really wanted to be clean, they would be cats.

Brushing and other types of waterless—aside from a little spritzing with conditioner—grooming generally suffice to distribute oils, prevent skin irritations, and remove bugs. In short: the prime reason to subject your pup to full body immersion with a soap product is that you don’t want her to stink.