American Monsters (12 page)

Katie Hernandez:

This is Channel 5 News, the news every hour on the hour! The major headlines: A man in Torrance broke into his ex-girlfriend’s house, raping and beating her repeatedly for six hours today until her roommate came home and called the police. A woman in Westminster got into a fight with her husband, and then slashed her baby and herself. The baby is in critical condition and the father is devastated. Now here’s our favorite weather guy Stan Cho reporting from the Hollywood Hills...

Kaleanathi, the smog mother is preparing for her feast. She can feel them inside of her. They are engulfed in her house, her womb. They are safe for now, but not for long. The ocean is churning, the cauldron bubbles, the incantations are being said. All the while, Kaleanathi feeds. She is feeding off the energy frenzy that is the Motel Chain Mansion. It is mostly confusion that she is swallowing. There is very little real love, or even trust. The energy is tainted. It doesn’t understand itself. The children understand even less, and still they are here. They are losing their souls. Kaleanathi stirs the Pacific Ocean, a whirlpool.

Back in the Motel Chain Mansion, the Vikings are wandering around the labyrinthine hallways. They have been trying to open doors, but none will open. They haven’t been sufficiently interested to break any of the doors down yet. They are drunk, rolling, and high and are feeling belligerent about these bitch doors whose legs don’t want to open. They come upon one with a huge penis carved out of the wood.

Viking #2/Reed:

Oh shit, dude! I know what this shit is! In that history class I took they talked about Pompeii and how there are these penises on the streets that lead the way to the brothel. Oh shit man, there’s a fucking whorehouse at this party! We have to go in, man. We have to.

Viking #3/Buck:

Are you serious? This is a joke or something. There’s no whorehouse here. What the fuck did you take tonight?

Viking #2/Jack:

Fuck off. I’m opening it.

He struggles with the door. It does not want to open. He pulls and pulls until finally:

Viking #2/Jack:

Jesus Christ, motherfuckers. help me!

They begin ramming into the door with their shoulders. The wood eventually begins to give and they pull the rest of the door apart.

Viking #4/Buck:

There better fucking be whores in here after that bullshit.

They each squeeze in through the opening in the wood. The camera follows. It looks like an old saloon, from a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western. It’s empty though, and eerie. They begin to hear women’s voices calling them. There is giggling and heavy breathing, and each of the men is called by name.

The Vikings venture upstairs to the bedrooms to seek out the mysterious voices. Before they go into the first room, the camera goes through the door’s peep-hole and pans over a huge spider, three times the size of the men put together, sisters to the spider from Stephen King’s It and Shelob, from Lord of the Rings. Her mandibles are dripping and She is ready to pounce. The men open the door, excited and aroused. The Spider attacks, devouring them one by one as the others look on screaming, too scared even to run and mesmerized by the sight.

The Mansion takes the souls of the Vikings and transforms them into sewage pipes right over the foyer. Kaleanathi burps quietly to herself, and continues churning the ocean.

The camera twirls and winds its way back to the party. There are groups of people floored all over the house. There doesn’t seem to be anyone not completely wasted.

The camera, bored, returns outside to a beautiful spot by a waterfall. There are two different types of music going on, and sometimes, if you sit just right in between the two, you can hear a third type of music, one that is a combination of the mismatched melodies. It sounds like garbage to most people, but if you concentrate really hard, you can make the music fit together. It’s a fun rave game to play. Exercises the brain. At the moment, Skreem and Console are talking about this odd quirk that they have in common.

Skreem, rolling on ecstasy (and unknowingly tripping on acid from the water):

You know, the first time I ever did ecstasy my therapist gave it to me. It was right after my husband and daughter [cough] died. I had had this horrible screaming in my head, you know, after it happened, and the E kind of quieted it down. That’s how I found the in-between music. I try to sit and listen without having those voices in my head.

Console (shrooming but also unknowingly tripping):

I so know what you mean. I’ve been having these visions or something. I don’t understand them at all. I had one about a vampire or something and I was really little, like Tom Thumb. And I’ve been having this recurring one about a bright white light... I don’t know what it means, but they hurt my head. And they are never that clear, you know, about what they are trying to say.

Skreem:

Totally. I saw my husband violate our daughter in the most horrible way a person can and there was nothing I could do about it. And up until that point, I had pretended not to notice. I try to listen to everything now, and respond, if possible, but I still don’t understand some of the things that our heads do to us.

Console:

I hear you. Can I have a sip of the water? Thanks. Oh look, those girls over there are dressed as the Powerpuff girls. Oh my God, they are so cute! We have to go over and tell them. Come on.

Console and Trip walk over to Uteri, Dentata, and Wake. The Firebirds have been hanging out with Uteri since the Ichor incident. They are rolling and tripping and high, and at the moment the Firebirds have just begun passing around a bloodweed joint.

Console:

Hi! We just wanted to come over and tell you how cute your costumes are! You ladies are so beautiful.

Uteri:

Oh thank you so much! Here, give me a hug. So sweet. Do you guys want to join us?

Skreem:

We’d love to. Are you guys rolling?

Dentata:

Everyone except me. Do you want to hit this?

Both Skreem and Console hit the joint.

Dentata:

Hey, do you guys know anyone who has mushrooms or geltabs?

Console:

Actually, yeah, our friend does. She’s dancing, but when she gets back she’ll totally hook you up...

Dentata:

Oh awesome! Excellent! I don’t do E.

Console:

It’s cool, I don’t either. The shit she has is really good, too.

Cherry Thrush:

Is anybody else tripping?

Console:

I am, why?

Cherry Thrush:

No, I mean, all I did was E, but I’m definitely getting some visuals.

Galactic Canary:

You’re right. No wonder I kept staring at those rocks over there. I’ve been thinking they were talking to me, and now I know for sure that they have been. Wait a second, I’ll be right back.

Cherry Thrush:

Jeez! Is she okay? She just smoked too...

Uteri, laughing:

No, don’t freak her out by worrying about her. Just let her go and hang out with the rocks. Rocks have feelings too, you know. They like company.

A Random Guy comes over and sits down with the group of women. He’s a little odd, doesn’t introduce himself, just sweeps the breasts of the group with his eyes.

Random Guy:

Are any of you ladies rolling?

Uteri:

Yeah, some of us.

Random Guy:

Have you ever tried Vicks? It’ll feel so good if you are rolling.

Uteri:

What, you think this is our first rave or something —

All of a sudden Glamour and Chaos (Poison Ivy and Catwoman) stride up to the group. They stop and plant their fists on their hips.

Glamour:

I’m sorry, but is this guy bothering you ladies?

Uteri:

Yeah, some of us.

Chaos:

Another lurker. You all should be much more careful. There’s guys like this all over this party and they’ll be nasty if you don’t catch ‘em in time.

Chaos, the penis-eater, pulls him to his feet by the scruff of his neck.

Galactic Canary, back from her talking rock:

That was so cool. You should totally come back later, we’ll be right here.

Glamour:

Sure, later.

Chaos and Glamour drag the boy through the foyer. Barren overhears their berations and smiles to herself. She catches assorted comments about what could happen to his male parts...

Barren’s smile gets a little wider. Well, how about that, likeminded women. She walks the remaining distance to the Powerpuff leaders.

Barren, still reeling from her encounter with The Viking:

Hi, I just wanted to come over and tell you how adorable your costumes are! You all look so great!

Wake:

Oh thank you so much sweetie. That’s so nice of you. Come, here, sit by me. How is your night going?

Barren, smiling but shaken:

Pretty weird actually. I lost my two friends and then this guy gave me E as a present but then forced me to go down on him...

Dentata:

Jesus! Where the fuck is he, I’ll fucking kill him!

Barren:

No, no! I threw up on him, and last time I did that... the guy, like, sort of, melted. So... Anyway. It’s sort of good.

Uteri:

Wow. You’re pretty badass.

The women all exchange looks. Barren shrugs.

Barren:

Does this usually happen at raves?

Uteri:

More and more, unfortunately. I guess the monsters have found easy hunting grounds. Just hang with us. If you don’t find your friends we’ll make sure you get home safely.

Barren:

I really appreciate that.

Dentata is getting more and more fidgety, and her pupils have considerably dilated in the last few moments.

Dentata, to Console:

Speaking of acid, dude, I’m totally tripping right now. I was just thinking how happy I was that your friend got me some acid, but I haven’t met your friend yet. Have I?

Console:

No, she’s still dancing.

Skreem:

Maybe it’s the water? That is the only thing other than lollipops that we’ve all eaten.

Dentata:

No, I didn’t eat the lollipops, I’m allergic to sugar.

Galactic Canary:

Wow, that sucks. I don’t think I could live without sugar. I think I need another lollipop. Be right back.

She bounces back up and away to find a fix for her sugar craving.

Dentata:

Dude, is she okay? She seems really out of it.

Cherry Thrush:

I’m not sure. She’s totally tripping. Man! I knew something was up when the water was free. The water is never, ever free.

Cerulean Amazon:

Something bad is going to happen. Do you guys feel it?

Console:

Yes, I do.

Cue ominous music.

The camera swivels around and then floats back into the Motel Chain Mansion. It curls through the labyrinthine corridors of the Mansion as revelers are consumed, taken into the house, one by one. They re-emerge as objects, furniture, art, anything. Doorways, stairways, figurines, kitchen utensils and more are the translated souls consumed by the house: A spinning funhouse monster out of control. A pack of Stoners are venturing their way down into the Cave Of No Return, and a group of Marines is lost and rolling on ecstasy in one of The Mansion’s hallways.

First Marine:

So many doors.

Second Marine:

This place is huge.

Third Marine:

Which one should we open?

Fourth Marine:

We need to get back. What the fuck! This sucks.

First Marine:

I’m just going to lie down here for one second, I just want to feel the carpet. It looks so soft.

Second Marine:

Me too!

The First and Second Marine roll around on the floor together. The Fourth Marine is very uncomfortable.

Fourth Marine:

What the fuck, you assholes. Get up. We’re going.

First Marine, rubbing the Second Marine’s hair:

Your chick is so hot, dude. Is she good?

Second Marine, rubbing the First Marine’s leg:

Girls are really good in bed if you make them feel really insecure about everything else about themselves. Seriously. It works.

First Marine:

What are you talking about?

Second Marine:

It’s like, if she thinks she’s shit then she’ll let you do pretty much anything, dude. Anything. And they really start to get off on it. She always wanted me to like sweet talk and shit, but later... You can de-brainwash them of that shit. Think I might break it off soon, though. She’s getting too psycho.

First Marine:

You mind if I... [nudges and cackles] have a go? She’s so hot, dude.

Second Marine:

Not if you don’t mind sloppy seconds.

They come upon a silver automatic door. The steel is thick and shiny and there is a little keypad to punch in the access code.

Fourth Marine:

I’m going to try something. Maybe it’ll work. I saw it in James Bond once.

The Fourth Marine types in the Close Encounters of a Third Kind melody, and the doors hiss open. It smells sterile, like a laboratory or dentist’s office, like possibly no one has ever set foot in this room before. They go through the entrance and find themselves in a large lobby area. There are eight tunnels that branch off from this one point.

Third Marine:

What the fuck is this? Where does it go?

Second Marine:

Shall we see?

First Marine:

Yeah, let’s all take different tunnels.

The Marines put out their fists and do that thumping together thing boys do. They separate and go to entrances of different tunnels. They look at each other and then step inside. For the first few moments nothing happens and they walk about fifteen feet into the shafts. Then the walls begin to vibrate, everything starting to shake. The men look around themselves, puzzled. The metal tunnels produce teeth-like blades that whip through the air. The tunnel circumferences shrink suddenly, and slice up the Marines held inside. Kaleanathi coughs a bit and chokes them down. Their souls are repurposed as toilet bowls, with black sludge creeping up their sides.