America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 21: Breaking Very Bad


Book 21: Breaking Very Bad

by Walter Knight


In the twenty-first installment of this preposterous science fiction series, Colonel Joey R. Czerinski has his hands full trying to keep the drug trade and the Arthropodan spider commander under control on planet New Colorado. Stationed at the New Gobi Desert, the Legion battalion suffers hot conditions, but things heat up even more when Major Manny Lopez uses the time machine to bring two grade-A cookers from the past to concoct a special recipe of blue powder to be distributed on New Colorado.

Privates Whyte and Pink, with new identities and a new lease on life, are now working for Lopez and his CIA buddies – and another silent partner who will remain unnamed. As usual, Czerinski is unaware and ineffectual in handling the situation, even when God gets involved!

With one crisis averted, another always takes its place, and thermonuclear war looms on the horizon, but Czerinski’s attention is focused elsewhere. Can he keep it together long enough to make another successful wager on football? His motto has always been, ‘If you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen.’ And get out he does when things get really hot in New Gobi City. Time for a little R&R far, far away, in the past. Patton for President, anyone? The laughs continue to the bitter end of defeat.






Book 21: Breaking Very Bad

by Walter Knight


Licensed and Produced through

Penumbra Publishing





Copyright 2013 Walter Knight

All rights reserved


Also available in PRINT ISBN/EAN-13:


This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, planets, asteroids, alien species, evil empires, galaxies far, far way, or future events and incidents, are the product of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons or aliens, living or dead, events or locales including those on Mars and New Colorado, is entirely coincidental.

Licensing Note: This ebook is licensed and sold for your personal enjoyment. Under copyright law, you may not resell, give away, or share copies of this book. You may purchase additional copies of this book for other individuals or direct them to purchase their own copies. If you are reading this book but did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, out of respect for the author’s effort and right to earn income from the work, please contact the publisher or retailer to purchase a legal copy.







America’s Galactic Foreign Legion series

Book 1: Feeling Lucky

Book 2: Reenlistment

Book 3: Silent Invasion

Book 4: Demilitarized Zone

Book 5: Insurgency

Book 6: Culture War

Book 7: Enemies

Book 8: Allies

Book 9: Scorpions

Book 10: Peacekeepers

Book 11: Cemetery City

Book 12: The Ark

Book 13: Salesman from Mars

Book 14: Embassy War

Book 15: Lieutenant Columbus

Book 16: Galactic Disney (coauthor James Boedeker)

Book 17: Randal Telk (coauthor James Boedeker)

Book 18: First Contact

Book 19: ATM

Book 20: Time Machine

Vampire in the Outfield

Zombie Missouri







I am a fan of the recently concluded
Breaking Bad
television series about a high school chemistry teacher dying of cancer who teams with a former student to manufacture and distribute meth. The writing and acting were phenomenal. Creator Vince Gilligan is my hero. In
America’s Galactic Foreign Legion – Book 21: Breaking Very Bad
, I tried to respectfully spoof and give Walt and Jesse a new lease on life, so they could live long and prosper in a galaxy far, far away. May they not go over to the Dark Side as they break very bad.

I dedicate
America’s Galactic Foreign Legion – Book 21: Breaking Very Bad
to American hero Delbert Belton. Many thanks to Penumbra Publishing editor Patricia Morrison for making my literary dreams come true.






Book 21: Breaking Very Bad

by Walter Knight





Chapter 1


I am Colonel Joey R. Czerinski, Foreign Legion military commander of a vast desert demilitarized zone on planet New Colorado, separating the United States Galactic Federation and humanity from the Arthropodan Empire and the spiders on our distant colony. An uneasy truce holds, regulating my duties to mostly policing commerce and traffic at New Gobi City, the area’s main border crossing point.

I’m not a cop, but some days I feel like it. Drug smuggling endangers the peace. The Empire threatened to take matters into their own claws if humanity didn’t clean up its act and stop the traffic of blue powder from the south. Corruption and a porous border aggravated the problem, but reinforcements were trickling in. Just today, Legion recruits specially trained in anti-drug interdiction had arrived. What they lacked in experience, they made up for with enthusiasm.

Privates Valtar Whyte and Jesse Pink stood at attention in my air-conditioned office. Whyte seemed haggard, but Pink was full of energy, barely able to contain his enthusiasm to fight drug-dealing spiders. I gazed at their files, returning their salutes.

“It says here you both are chemical warfare experts,” I read out loud doubtfully. “What good does that do me if we don’t have chemical weapons, and, per treaty, we’re not allowed to use them anyway?”

“Yo, bitch!” shouted Private Pink. “I’m not supposed to be here! This Legion abduction is bogus! Hook me up with my lawyer, pronto!”

Master Sergeant Green grabbed Pink by the collar and slammed him headfirst into the wall. The dent to both Pink’s head and the wall would be permanent. Pink slumped to the floor. I turned my attention to Whyte. “Well? Do you have anything to add?”

“Perhaps we can manufacture our own chemical weapons,” suggested Whyte reasonably, wanting to please. “It could be done with the right resources.”

“I’m more interested in fighting the local drug problem than creating a nerve gas incident,” I explained. “I get a lot of bad press. What do you know about blue powder?”

“Drugs are just simple chemistry. What’s there to know?”

“Drug dealers are manufacturing blue powder right here in New Gobi City,” explained Major Lopez, my usually stoic XO. “We are losing the galactic war on drugs. Where are they getting the chemicals? How can we stop their supply networks?”

“The Legion is rumored to be corrupt to the core,” advised Whyte, eying Major Lopez. “I’m just a private. What can I do?”

“Yet you enlisted for the duration,” I bristled, sensitive to phony corruption allegations. “Both of you did, but I’ll probably have Private Pink shot. This is the New Gobi Desert. Everything here pokes, bites, or stings. You ever been in the desert? The dry air will suck the life out of you in a day. Remember that, and you’ll live another day.”

Whyte seemed unfazed by my warning. “In spite of Pink’s indiscretion, we were trained as a team. I’ll talk to Pink when he wakes up.”

“You do that,” I ordered. “Report to Corporal Guido Tonelli for orientation at the main gate border crossing. Tonelli will square you away and tell you what you need to know to survive the Gobi and to make something of your life in the Foreign Legion. I’m not allowed to ask about your past, but you are being given a chance to make something of yourself in the Legion. Do the Legion proud, and you will prosper. Make a difference. Stay loyal, or your parched bones will be covered by the shifting sand dunes. No one will care or miss you. Understand, legionnaire?”

“Yes, sir.”


* * * * *


Major Lopez and Whyte carried Pink, still woozy, to his barracks cubical.

“I’m the reason you were assigned here,” announced Major Lopez, breaking the silence. “I know you two were chemists on Old Earth before your fugitive status. Now you work for me and the CIA. Ready to cook?”

“Get off me!” shouted Pink, coming to as they set him on his bunk. “My cooking days are over. You can go to hell.”

“It’s over when the Legion says it’s over.”

“Does Colonel Czerinski know you’re trafficking blue powder?” asked Whyte. “I don’t want to cross the Butcher of New Colorado.”

“No, this is a top-secret CIA mission. You will cook high-quality blue powder just like you did on Old Earth. After we establish distribution channels, we will drive out competition with my Legion contacts and dominate the planetary blue powder market. Then, we slip a special slow-acting lethal dose of poison into the product, killing every junkie on the planet.”

“Yo, are you out of your mind?” asked Pink incredulously. “You want us to help the CIA commit mass murder? Bullshit. This is on you.”

“Our mission has been approved at the highest levels on both sides of the border. Finally, we’re taking serious steps to win the galactic war on drugs. This time we will eliminate the source of the blue-powder scourge, the low-life users of the criminal underclass. You will appreciate, as a bonus, our enterprise will be very profitable up until D-Day.”

“How profitable?” asked Whyte with genuine interest. “We’ll be partners?”

“Millions for each of you, legal and tax-free. There will be no DEA raining on your party this time.”

“You’re one cold-blooded Mengele son-of-a-bitch, dude,” accused Pink. “I won’t do it. You can’t force me, it’s illegal. You must be insane.”

“Then you will be executed for not following orders. Read the fine print of your enlistment contract. You’re in for the duration.”

“You’re an asshole!”

“We’ll do it,” interrupted Whyte, stepping between Lopez and Pink. “My friend Jesse is just concussed from that blow to the head. He’ll come around when the pain stops.”

“You both blow big time!” Pink screamed.

“He needs rest and some painkiller,” continued Whyte. “You’ll see. Jesse will be fine.”

“Good. I hope so, for both your sakes. Get settled. You start cooking in a week.”


* * * * *


“You can’t be serious,” griped Pink after Major Lopez left. “Yo, that Nazi bitch is crazy.”

“Exactly,” agreed Whyte patiently. “That is why we need to tread lightly until an opportunity presents itself for us to desert. We will cook, make easy money, and flee rich to another planet. We deserve a break after all we’ve been through.”

“I won’t murder my customers. I have pride in my product. I sure as hell won’t be Lopez’s bitch. No way. Even you can’t be serious about mass murder. Is that how you want to be remembered by your family?”

“Of course not. Don’t worry, we’ll figure something out. But in the meantime, you need to get yourself under control. Play along. Hide your crazy. Acting out like you did on Old Earth doesn’t work here. You heard Colonel Czerinski. Everything in the desert conspires to kill us, including spiders. We need to chill in the shade like the creatures of the desert. The Legion has given us a second chance on life, offering restored wealth, health, and status. Fun, travel, and adventure. Be all we can be, an army of two, you and me. We can do this if we work together, Jesse. We deserve better than what we got on Old Earth.”

“You’ll get what you deserve, I’m sure.”

“Please, work with me.”

“Fine, but I’ll kill that punk Lopez when the time comes. And, I’m going to get my crew together to move product.”


* * * * *


Major Lopez listened intently to their conversation from a hidden wiretap. No matter about Pink’s treason. It could be managed, for now. Those two fools would do his bidding, or else.

“I’ll let them have their fun for now,” sneered DEA Special Agent Hanks, a shadowy figure that creeped-out even Lopez. “I’ll wait. But be certain, when this operation is complete, the long arm of justice will reach out across the galaxy and rip their throats out.”

“That sounded personal,” commented Major Lopez. “What haven’t you told me?”

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