Among Wildflowers (7 page)

He scoffed at himself and shook his head, rising from his seat. He wasn’t ever going to speak to her again after this week was over. They’d go their separate ways and she’d forget about him. If it wasn’t for her boyfriend…

Shoving his fingers through his hair, he groaned. He needed to stop thinking like that. Even if Macy was single and was interested, he couldn’t put her through that. He was too hung up, too strung out. He was a walking disaster, threatening to fall apart at any moment just like he had during his last tour. There was that rocking chair that sat on his damned front porch like a shrine, for God’s sake. He was a mess.

No, he would be alone for the rest of his life—it was the right thing to do. His heart was too heavy to ever allow love in again, and he would only hurt someone, hurt her, if he tried.

Going to his bookshelf, he stared at the photo that sat surrounded by various wildflowers strewn around the shelf, brittle and falling apart. He looked at the girl who sat atop her dark gray horse, a broad smile across her face. He couldn’t believe that it had been two years since she’d been gone.

“Why’d you have to leave me?” he murmured to himself, picking up the picture frame. “Don’t you know how damned much I miss you?” He ran his fingertips over her pretty face, his heart tugging at the memory of the way she had smiled. The way she had laughed. How proud he was of her and her accomplishments. She was a skilled equestrian and had a bright future.

All the plans for their future together, all the talk of getting married and starting a family had vanished in a heartbeat. He swallowed hard as his fingertips grazed the edge of the picture frame. He was hung up, alright, and he suspected he always would be. And that sweet little thing from New York City had better steer clear of him, because Ryland Quinn spelled trouble for Macy Ferris.

It was just after noon
and Ryland had finished shoveling the snow off the driveway and paths surrounding his home. He liked doing the work, and on days like today, he welcomed the distraction. He made his way down the path to the cabin, and as soon as it was clear of snow, he knocked at the door.

“Hey.” Lane looked uncomfortable and Ryland guessed that after the morning’s events, he wasn’t too sure how to handle the situation.

“Hey, how’s Macy’s arm?” He peeked around Lane and found Macy lying on the bottom bunk, reading her Kindle.

She sat up slightly and smiled. “Not too bad, but I bet it’ll be a little tender for a few days.”

“Probably will.” He turned back to Lane. “I thought you might like to come up to the house and we could work on our interview. Give Macy a chance to relax.”

Lane looked at Ryland for a beat and then turned to Macy and, when she offered him a shrug, he turned back to Ryland again. “Okay, let me get my jacket.”

“Sure,” Ryland said, stepping inside the door and shutting it behind him. “Good Lord, it’s cold in here. Is the heater on?”

Macy nodded. “We don’t think it’s working right. It was beyond freezing last night.”

“Well why didn’t you tell me?”

Macy shrugged. “We didn’t want to complain. You already put us up and everything…”

Ryland knew that Macy had been worried about coming out here in the first place. Her comment earlier had confirmed that. She was trying awfully hard to make everything go right and was even willing to freeze for it. He shook his head. “I’ll have someone come out this afternoon to look at it. Lane, I’ll meet you at the house.”

Ryland gave Macy one last glance before heading back up to the house in search of the phone number for his repair guy. This week was definitely not going in the direction he had anticipated, and he wasn’t sure what that meant for him. He had originally thought it would be a total bust and the reporters were going to be a pain in his ass, but to his surprise, they weren’t. Well, maybe Lane, but all-in-all they were polite and tried to stay out of his way. Maybe this would help get his career back on track—if that’s really what he wanted. If only he could get a damned song written.

***

Macy lay on the bed and tried to focus on her book, but she just wasn’t interested. She pulled her phone out of her bag and looked at it for a moment. She hadn’t received any calls or texts from Logan to check in. She wasn’t sure if she felt hurt or if she felt guilty that she was indifferent. Things had really changed since she’d checked into Tall Oaks. She wasn’t sure what she should do to get things back to normal with him. But in Logan’s defense, she hadn’t tried to call him either. Maybe he felt as uncomfortable about things as she did. She toyed with the phone for a moment before hitting his number. It rang four times before he answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Hey, sweetie. What’s going on with Ryland?”

She felt an immediate stab of guilt in her chest, making her sit up and scoot to the edge of the bed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, have you figured out what’s up with him? Did you get the story you wanted about why he disappeared so suddenly?”

Her heart racing in her chest, she put her hand over it and squeezed her eyes shut.
Get a grip, Macy.
“Sort of, not a whole lot yet. But we still have a few days, so keep your fingers crossed.”

“Uh huh, that’s great, sweetie.”

Macy shook her head. He wasn’t even listening. “Well, I just thought I’d call and check in. How’s everything with you?”

“Just fine. Listen, babe, I’m about to head in for a meeting. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Sounds good, bye.”

“Bye.”

Macy hit
END
on her phone and threw it back into her bag. They didn’t even tell each other “I love you” anymore. What had happened to them?

She stood and walked to the other side of the room to gaze out the window. Having to go to Tall Oaks had really screwed everything up—her job, her friends, and worst of all, her relationship with Logan. He felt like a stranger now. Maybe he always had. Maybe if he had been more supportive when Aunt Suzy had gotten sick, Macy wouldn’t have had such a hard time dealing with it.

No. It’s wasn’t his fault. She had been broken long before she met Logan. She had been destined to have a breakdown—it was only a matter of time. Aunt Suzy’s death just sped it along a bit, that’s all.

Macy dug through her bag and brought out her family picture album. She didn’t know why she always had it with her. It was big and bulky and got in the way, but for some reason having her treasured photos with her made her feel better. More grounded.

She flipped through the pages. There was only one photo of her mom. It had been taken when Macy was seven years old, maybe six months before social services had stepped in and she had gone to go live with her Aunt Suzy. She knew that somewhere deep inside, her mom must have loved her. Aunt Suzy had told Macy more times than she could count that her mother really cared about her, but she was too sick to show it. Aunt Suzy had been everything to Macy that her mother hadn’t been.

Getting off the bed, Macy changed into her gym clothes, suddenly feeling the need to try and work off some of this nervous energy. Her skin was practically crawling with anxiety, and she needed to somehow burn it off.

Macy had sworn she would never, ever turn into her mother, but as she got older, the more she worried that that was exactly was she was doing.

***

“I think that just about does it for today. I’ve got a lot to go over,” Lane said, shuffling through his notes.

“Good,” Ryland said, rocking back in his chair.

“Hey, where’s Macy going?” Lane said, looking over Ryland’s shoulder.

Ryland sat up in his chair and whipped around to look out the window and spotted Macy walking down the path by the house. He noticed that she was wearing workout pants with a baggy hoodie.

“She must be going to the gym.”

“Oh,” Lane said, latching his satchel. “I guess I’ll head back to the cabin and work on my laptop for a bit.”

“Sounds good.” Ryland stood and held his hand out to him. “Thanks, Lane. It was a good interview.”

Lane took his hand. “Thank you. I appreciate you giving me the time.”

Ryland walked Lane to the door and watched out the window for a few. When Ryland was certain that Lane was heading back to the cabin, he turned and bolted up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. He changed out of his work clothes and into his gym shorts and a t-shirt, grabbing a fresh towel from the bathroom as he sprinted by.

He hurried to the back of the house, to the gym, and stopped just outside the door, taking a moment to catch his breath before he walked in. Putting his ear to the door, he could hear the treadmill running. Opening the door quietly, he poked his head in and found Macy running at full speed. She had her ear buds in and was looking straight ahead. She looked stunning as she ran. Her body was thin and lean and he imagined she must work out a lot to have such an amazing physique.

Throwing his towel aside, he skirted around the room and stepped in front of Macy’s treadmill. Her full lips were moving along silently to the song she was listening to. Suddenly, she spotted Ryland out of the corner of her eye and yelped in surprise, almost falling off the treadmill. She grabbed the rails and got her feet planted on either side of the moving belt. Yanking her headphones out, she smiled nervously at Ryland.

“I’m sorry,” she said breathlessly. “I should have asked before I used your gym. Michael said it’d be okay if we used it while we were here.”

“Of course it’s okay. That’s what it’s here for, for people to use it.”

“Well, thanks.” Macy shifted uncomfortably.

“So,” Ryland said, hopping on the other treadmill. “What were you listening to?”

“What? Oh!” Macy grabbed her phone and showed Ryland the screen. “Pandora. The song I was just listening to was ‘My Demons’ by Starset.”

“Starset, they’re cool,” Ryland said, his eyes flitting to Macy’s. “May I?” he asked, holding his hand out.

“Sure.” She set her phone in his hand and he began to scroll through her Pandora app.

“Hmmm, lots of stations.”

“Yep, I travel a lot, so I like having plenty of music to choose from.”

“Three Days Grace, Lil Jon, Breaking Benjamin, Lady Gaga, Simon and Garfunkel, Jewel, Lana Del Rey…No country, I notice,” he said, flashing her a teasing smile. “Not a fan?”

Macy snatched the phone from him, setting it back on the treadmill. She looked mortified. “Oh, well, I mean, I do… I just don’t have a lot of stations yet… because…”

Ryland couldn’t contain his laughter anymore. He threw his head back and laughed harder than he had in a long, long time.

“I’m sorry. I just had to give you a hard time.”

She blinked for a moment, then broke into a smile. “I felt bad later for saying that.”

Grinning, Ryland said, “You should. It was a mean thing to say. My feelings are fragile.”

She rolled her eyes upward. “I’m sure.”

“Now that I think about it, I do believe you’re the very first pretty girl who’s ever told me to my face that she doesn’t like the kind of music I make.”

Macy’s mouth fell open for a moment before she closed it, looking away. “I was just trying to wipe that arrogant smile off your face,” she said lightly.

Chuckling, Ryland said with a wink, “Guess it worked.”

“Guess it did,” she said, turning back to him and giving him a shy smile.

She was flirting with him,
Ryland thought with excitement.

He turned on the treadmill and began warming up. “Guess coming out here was probably not your first choice, was it?”

“Well, to be honest, not really.”

Ryland peeked at her out of the corner of his eye. “But here you are.”

She grinned, stepping back on her own treadmill. “Here I am.”

“And what do you think so far?”

Macy thought about his question for a couple minutes before responding. “It’s quiet.”

“Yes it is. That’s one of the reasons why I like it here so much.”

“I’ve been trying so hard to find quiet lately and it’s so hard. Especially in the city and
especially
with my job. Being out here has actually…been incredible. I haven’t been able to find such peace since I was at Ta—” Macy stopped in midsentence and shot Ryland a panicked look. “I mean, it’s been a while.”

“So why are you on such a quest for quiet?”

She shrugged. “I guess we all are, aren’t we?”

He nodded in agreement. “I guess we are.”

Ryland turned up the speed on his treadmill and began jogging lightly as he tried to think of what to say to her next. Being around Macy made it hard to think straight.

“So,” Macy said, breaking the silence. “How did your interview with Lane go?”

Ryland nodded approvingly. “It went well, I suppose.”

“That’s good.”

“Are you going to get more pictures while you’re here?”

“Yes, I will. Your property is just beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Ryland said.

“It’s… a shame you don’t share it with anyone.”

Ryland’s breath caught in his chest, and he almost lost his footing. Clearing his throat, he swallowed hard and his brain worked fast, thinking of a response.

“Well, I suppose that is a shame. But that’s just life sometimes, isn’t it? I get along just fine out here though.”

Macy regarded him for a moment. “Yes, I can see you do.”

Ryland turned up the treadmill and began to run at full speed. Macy’s question had really jarred him and he couldn’t seem to come back from it. He hadn’t expected her to ask a question like that, but now that he thought about it, he was surprised that neither she nor Lane had asked before. He ran hard, hoping to get the anxious feeling to go away. He slammed his hand down on the
STOP
button and put his feet on the frame of the treadmill, catching his breath.

“Are you okay, Ryland?”

“Yeah, I’m good, Macy. I just need a break.” He grabbed his towel. “I’ll see you around, alright?”

Macy looked upset. “I’m sorry if I said anything wrong, Ryland.”

He shook his head and tried to offer her a comforting smile. “You didn’t say anything wrong, but I do need to go.” With that, Ryland went back inside the main part of the house and headed straight for his room.

Damn.
Why couldn’t he just be a normal man for one minute of his life? Macy was a sweet, pretty girl, and he was undeniably attracted to her. He should have been thrilled that she was fishing to find out if he had someone in his life. He should have taken the bait and flirted with her. Instead, he’d upset her.
Damn, damn, damn.