An Honest Love (23 page)

“She wanted to see you,” Elisabeth said.

“Is everything okay?”

“
Ya
. I’ve got everything under control.”

But Aaron wondered if she really did.

“
Danki
for coming with me, Elisabeth.” Deborah reached across the buggy seat and squeezed Elisabeth’s hand. “I don’t know how I could get through this without you.”

They were sitting in her buggy at the far end of Mary Yoder’s parking lot, waiting for Chase to get off work. Deborah had quit the restaurant shortly after discovering she was pregnant. Elisabeth rubbed her hands together. At least he was working the morning shift, which meant he got off before three o’clock. Despite the cloudless, sunny sky, the air was still cold. She wished she would have brought a blanket to keep both her and Deborah warm while they waited.

She looked at her friend, who stared out of the side of the buggy into the lot. “How are you feeling?”

“Nauseated. I threw up twice this morning.”

“Moriah had the same problem. It goes away after a few months though.”

“I hope so. I can’t keep anything down.” Deborah looked at Elisabeth. “What do you think he’s going to say?”

“Hopefully the right thing.”

“What if he wants me to marry him?”

Elisabeth couldn’t imagine marrying a Yankee man. She wouldn’t be able to leave her faith or her family. But what if she were in Deborah’s shoes? She didn’t know what she would do. “Do you love him?”

She looked down at her lap. “
Nee
.”

“Then why were you with him?”

“Randy and I only had a couple of dates after the party, then he didn’t want to see me anymore. He told me at the restaurant, and I was upset. Chase noticed, and he started paying attention to me. He said I was pretty, and that he liked me. That he wanted to be with me. Elisabeth, I was so stupid, I should have never believed him. It only happened one time, and then he barely talked to me after that.” She sighed. “You know why I can’t tell my parents about the
boppli
?”

Elisabeth shook her head.

“It’s not because I’m afraid of what they’ll do. I’m afraid they won’t do anything.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You’re so lucky, Elisabeth. Your parents care about you. Mine don’t.”

“That’s not true.”

“
Ya
, it is. They’ve been like this since I turned sixteen. I don’t know what I did to make them stop caring, but they did.”

Deborah’s revelations shocked Elisabeth. “How do you know that?”

“One time I was gone for a whole weekend. I missed church and everything. I was staying with one of my Yankee friends. I didn’t let them know where I was going or where I was. And when I showed up back home, they acted like I’d never been gone.”

“Did you tell them where you were?”

“Like that would matter. My mother just told me to go do the wash because it was Monday.” Deborah looked at Elisabeth. “Mondays are laundry days,” she said with evident bitterness in her voice.

Deborah looked back into the parking lot again. “Chase should have been off work by now.”

“He’ll be out in a minute.” Elisabeth thought about what her friend had said. She couldn’t imagine how parents could just stop caring for their child. Elisabeth’s parents had always wanted to know what their
kinner
were doing. She thought it was annoying sometimes, especially when she finished school and didn’t want to be treated like a kid anymore. But now she understood the reason why they were so diligent. They loved her. Deborah was right, she was lucky. Lucky and blessed.

“There he is.” Deborah gripped the edge of the buggy seat. “I don’t even know what I’m going to say to him.”

“Tell him the truth. That’s the only thing you can say.”

“Come with me. I can’t do this by myself.”

Elisabeth shook her head. “Deborah, I can’t—”

“Please?”

She looked at her friend’s terrified face, and she found herself nodding. How did she get so deeply involved in this? All she wanted to do was support her friend. Now she would be face-to-face with the guy who had tried to force himself on her. She had never wanted to see him again.

But she would never tell Deborah what had happened in the Shrocks’ barn. No need to toss a match on the haystack. “All right. I’ll
geh
with you.”

“
Danki
, Elisabeth. He’s going to his car, so we need to catch him before he leaves.”

They exited the buggy and rushed across the parking lot to Chase’s car. He had just opened the door when he looked up. He quickly looked away and ducked inside.

“He’s ignoring us,” Deborah said, sounding much stronger than she had a few minutes ago. “Chase!” she called out. “Wait!”

They reached the car just as he turned on the engine. Elisabeth knocked on the window and saw the color drain from Chase’s face. He pressed a button and the window slid open.

Chase looked from her to Deborah. “Uh, hi.”

Now that they had his attention, she waited for Deborah to speak. When her friend didn’t say anything, Elisabeth elbowed her arm.

“I need to talk to you,” Deborah finally said.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m kinda busy now. Maybe we can meet somewhere later.”

“This won’t take long.”

His gaze narrowed as he looked at Elisabeth. “Why is she here?”

The guy sitting in front of her was far removed from the confident, smooth man she’d met at the party. Looking at him now through the clear light of day, she saw he was just a normal guy with a weird haircut. She’d never liked the way Yankee guys cut the back of their hair so short.

“She’s my friend, and I want her here,” Deborah explained.

He gave Deborah an impatient, expectant look. “Can you hurry this up? I have to be somewhere.”

“I’m pregnant.”

The color drained from his face. “You’re . . .
what
?”

“Pregnant. I’m going to have a baby.”

“Why are you telling me?”

Deborah leaned closer to him. “Because you’re the father.”

“Oh no.” He shook his head, his eyes sparking. “You’re not pinning that on me.”

“But we were together last month.”

“How do I know you haven’t been with some other guy?”

“Because I’m not like that!” Hurt laced Deborah’s voice.

Elisabeth’s heart went out to her friend. From the angry look on Deborah’s face, she could see Deborah hadn’t expected Chase’s reaction. She hadn’t expected it either.

“You could have fooled me. You started coming on to me the moment I met you.”

“That’s not true! And you know it, Chase.”

He ran his hands through his blond-tipped hair. “I don’t know what kind of game this is, but I won’t be a part of it. You’re not trapping me.”

“This isn’t a trap. I told you because I thought you had the right to know.” She exhaled. “Right now, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“You’re thinking of having an abortion?”

“
Nee
, I would never do that.”

“Whoa. You weren’t thinking I’d actually marry you?” he sneered. “No way. Look, I don’t care what you do. Have an abortion, raise it yourself, marry some backwards Amish guy, it doesn’t matter to me. Just leave me alone. ”

“But your baby—”

“That’s not my baby. We were both drunk. I don’t even remember what happened that night.”

“You’re lying.”

He leaned forward until he was inches away from her, his gaze narrowing with ire. “If you say that baby’s mine, I’ll say you were with three other guys that night. You’ll have to take me to court to prove me wrong.”

Elisabeth had vowed not to say anything during this conversation, but Chase had pushed her over the edge. “How can you be so cruel? She’s carrying your baby.”

“Since when is any of this your business?” He turned on the car. “We’re done here.” He rolled up the window, then pealed out of the parking lot.

Elisabeth stood there for a moment, feeling as if she’d been physically assaulted. She could only imagine how Deborah felt. She looked at her friend, stunned to see the calm look on her face. “Are you okay?”

“
Ya
.” She turned and looked at Elisabeth. “Strangely enough, I am.”

“I’m so sorry he did that to you. What a creep.”

“He’s a creep all right. And I’m glad to be rid of him.” Deborah turned to her. “Could you take me home?”

“Sure.”

When they reached Deborah’s house, Elisabeth leaned over and hugged her. Deborah pulled away, her eyes filled with tears.

Elisabeth had to fight her own urge to cry. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure. But I’m glad I told him. And this probably sounds crazy, but I’m glad he doesn’t want anything to do with me or the
boppli
.”

“
Nee
, it doesn’t sound crazy at all. He’s an awful person, Deborah.”

“I see that now.” She let out a bitter chuckle. “Believe it or not, Randy said we couldn’t go out because he wants to join the church. I told him I wasn’t ready to do that. He said he had to make a choice, and he chose being Amish over staying with me.”

“So you two never . . . ?”

“Never.” She sighed. “I don’t know how I can face him. Or my parents. Or the church.”

“Are you thinking about joining?”

“I don’t know. I have a lot of thinking to do.” She gave Elisabeth a weary smile. “And praying. God and I haven’t been on speaking terms for a long time.”

“I’ll pray too.”

She watched Deborah go inside her house, saying a silent prayer for her friend, wishing she didn’t have to go through this. She hoped God would use this to bring Deborah back to him.

As she drove home, her thoughts went to Aaron. Although his and Deborah’s situations weren’t the same, there were some similarities. Both of them had turned their back on their faith and made bad choices. They had to pay the consequences of those choices—Aaron with jail time and Deborah with an unexpected pregnancy. Seeing Deborah’s turmoil firsthand made her understand Aaron more. How hard it must have been for him to return to the Amish, to face the church and God and ask for forgiveness, only to be unsure whether he’d truly received it.

She spent the rest of the trip home praying for both of them. When she arrived, she steered the buggy into the barn. She unhitched Daisy and led her into her stall, then gave her fresh feed and water. Still consumed with thoughts about Aaron and Deborah, she stroked the horse’s nose, watching her eat.

A few moments later she heard footsteps behind her. Probably Ruth, wanting to know why she was late for supper. Elisabeth doubted Ruth was ever late to anything in her life. Although she was only fourteen, she had always gone by a precise schedule and had expected everyone else to as well. “Tell
Mami
I’ll be right there, Ruth.” She gave the horse a light a pat on the nose, then turned around. But it wasn’t Ruth she saw standing in the middle of the barn. It was Aaron.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi.”

He stood there for a moment, then shifted from one foot to the other, his eyes darting from right to left without directly looking at her. He’d never seemed so ill at ease in her company before.

“Is everything okay, Aaron?” She hoped it was, because she didn’t think she could take another trauma tonight.

He finally looked at her. “I was about to ask you the same thing.”

“I’m fine.” She wasn’t, of course, but she didn’t need to tell him that. A chill hung in the air, and she was eager to get inside. “There’s nothing wrong.” She bit her bottom lip on the lie.

“
Gut
.” But the look in his eyes told her he didn’t believe her.

Tired and cold, she didn’t want to stay in the barn anymore. “Did you want to come in the house? I think I missed supper, but I can heat something up.”

He shook his head. “I’m not hungry.”

“Then how about coffee?” She rubbed her cold hands together and stood with her feet close together. Hot coffee sounded heavenly right now.

“Maybe. In a minute.” He took off his hat and started bending the brim back and forth. His blond hair was matted down against his head. “I need to talk to you about something first.”

Elisabeth frowned. “We can’t talk inside?”

“Nope. Not about this.”

Panic struck her. “Aaron, now you have me worried.”

He blanched. “I’m sorry. That’s the last thing I wanted to do.”

“Then maybe you should tell me what’s going on.”

He nodded, then reached into the pocket of his coat. He took out a wrinkled, folded slip of paper and handed it to her.

Her brows furrowed as she took it from him. She opened it, then gasped. “Where did you get this?”

“On the floor in the office. It must have fallen out of your bag.”

She looked away, acutely embarrassed that he had found out about Deborah. Somehow she’d have to explain to her friend that she didn’t betray her confidence. Her messy purse had.

His mouth was set in a straight line, but his gaze held no judgment. Instead he seemed genuinely concerned. “Does the father know?”

“
Ya
. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with the
boppli
.”

“It’s the guy from the party, right?”

She nodded.

“I knew it had to be. So he’s refusing to take responsibility?”