An Unyielding Desire (After The End Book 2) (21 page)

Chapter
Thirteen

Mina hadn’t spoken a word in three days. The day after Shane had shot her mother, they’d buried
Janie. She had stood by the grave, her gaze distant. At first, Coop had been sure she wasn’t with them at all and had no clue what was happening. That perception changed when the first shovel of dirt hit the sheet acting as her mother’s burial shroud. She’d let out a whimpering sound before falling silent again. He wanted to think it was an encouraging sign indicating maybe she was starting to come back to them, but he couldn’t cling to the hope for long, as the silence returned and lengthened.

He brought the tray back to the kitchen, finding Emme waiting for him with a look of concern. “She ate about half.” Mina would take a bite in her mouth if it was offered. She would chew and swallow, but she never looked at the person feeding her or made a sound.

“At least she’s eating.” She removed the dishes for washing and put the tray on the counter for the next meal.

“She’s just so quiet. It’s unnerving.”

Emme nodded. “It is strange, but I hope it’s her way of processing what’s happened, so she can start to heal. I think she’ll gradually come out of it. It’ll probably start with prolonged eye contact, but that’s just a guess.”

“I hope she starts talking soon.” Coop ran a hand through his hair, feeling discouraged and emotionally exhausted. “The silence is awful. Anything would be better.
Even an occasional grunt would be welcome.”

He had cause to revise that opinion the next night, when the screaming started. She had maintained the same level of silence all day, though Emme had said she seemed to be looking around with more awareness. For his part, Coop hadn’t noticed much difference, other than a tiny gasp right before he left her that evening to bed down in the bunkhouse. The cold had forced him from the sun porch a couple of months ago.

He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep when the piercing screams jarred him into immediate alertness. Coop’s heart pounded in his chest, and he got to his feet quickly, hand going to his gun out of habit, only to remember the holster and pistol were on the hook at the head of the bunk bed.

“What’s that god-
awful sound?” muttered Hector, before stuffing his head under the pillow in a clear attempt to block it out.

“The Marsden girl,” said Owen, at the same time Coop recognized her voice.

He still wore his pants, and his boots were unlaced and ready to go. Shoving his feet into them, he grabbed his gun and rushed to the house. From her screaming, he was half-expecting to find Shane in the midst of a kidnapping attempt when he burst into the farmhouse. No one was downstairs, so he followed the sounds of her screams to her room.

Her father stood outside the hallway, looking pained, as Kelly stood beside him with a hand on his arm. Coop nodded to them as he slipped into the room, finding Emme sitting beside her, trying to soothe Mina. The girl seemed unaware of her sister, but there was a moment of clarity when her gaze locked with his, and she ceased shouting.

After a long second, her eyes slipped out of focus, and the hoarse yells came from her again. His heart felt like it was breaking as he hurried to her. Acting on instinct, remembering all the nights she’d come to his bed for comfort, though he hadn’t known what monster plagued her then, he kicked off his boots and climbed onto the bed. Coop put his arms around her, and Mina immediately fell silent. She cuddled against him, her body trembling, but there was no more screaming.

After a couple of minutes, Emme slowly eased off the bed to allow them room to lie down. She looked worried. “I don’t know what to do for her,” she whispered. “If she had
typical anxiety or depression, I’d know what herbs to try. But this silence…and the screaming…” She trailed off, looking exhausted and upset. “How do I help her, Cooper?”

Coop lifted one shoulder. “I don’t know. Why don’t you get some rest? I’m here, and it looks like she might go to sleep. I promise I won’t leave her until you come back in the morning.”

Emme gnawed on her full lower lip, looking temporarily indecisive before nodding. “Yeah, okay. I haven’t slept much the last few days. Since Mom…” Once again, she trailed off with a long sigh. “Thanks, Coop.”

He nodded. “No problem. I’m happy to do anything I can to help her.” If she needed him to hold her all night, it was certainly no sacrifice. Coop squirmed with guilt, knowing he owed her anything she needed from him and then some. There was no way he could ever make up to her that he had ignored her plea for protection and left her to her abuser’s mercy.

Emme slipped from the door, briefly visible talking to her dad and sister. Winn looked uncertain when he glanced inside the room, frowning at the sight of Coop holding his daughter. Coop didn’t feel even a smidge of compulsion to leave her, regardless of how her father felt about his presence. The door to the room closed a moment later, leading him to conclude Emme had persuaded her father of the necessity.

Mina had relaxed slowly against him, and the familiar weight of her body pressed against his brought a sense of
relaxation he hadn’t experienced in weeks, or maybe even months. Her breathing deepened, indicating she had gone to sleep. Coop brushed his mouth lightly against her temple. “Sleep well, honey. I’ll watch over you.” Without thought, he tightened his arms around her until she shifted in her sleep, making him ease up. “You’re safe now. I won’t let anyone ever hurt you again.”

But how could he make up for the ways he’d hurt her? Coop knew that wasn’t the priority right now. He didn’t have to worry about making amends until she came back to them. If she came back. Right now, she seemed hopelessly lost, and he questioned whether she would ever be even a shadow of her pre-Shane self.

*****

Mina maintained her silence over the next
few weeks, though she seemed calmer. After the second night of having to go to her room to stop her screams, Coop had started sleeping beside her each night from the start of the evening. To his and Emme’s relief, she no longer had episodes of screaming. Unfortunately, she often thrashed and whimpered in her sleep, and no amount of soothing could ward off those nightmares. Even Coop beside her seemed to do nothing to keep them at bay.

“She’ll have nightmares for a long time,” said
Yu matter-of-factly as they discussed it several days later. She had taken to sitting with Mina for a good portion of the afternoon, often just chattering away about menial things, or helping Mina groom herself. “Valeria still wakes in a cold sweat nearly every night, a scream on her lips.”

“What about you?” asked Emme, sounding sympathetic.

Yu gave her a tight smile. “About the same.” She cast a teasing glance at Coop, who sat beside Mina, trying to coax her to eat. “Maybe if I had a handsome soldier to cling to, instead of Valeria, I wouldn’t have so many bad dreams.”

Coop’s eyes crinkled. “
He’s not a soldier, but I imagine Finn would volunteer.” He knew his teasing tone didn’t do a good job of covering the ever-present note of concern and exhaustion underlying his every word.

Yu
screwed up her rounded face. “He’s a kid.”

Emme smiled. “He’s the same age as you.”

Yu’s eyes looked haunted. “Only in years,” she said with a touch of melancholy. Then she reached for the doorknob. “Okay, I’m gonna bounce. See y’all at dinner. Bye, Mina.”

Coop’s heart lifted slightly when Mina’s hand fluttered, as though she wanted to wave to the younger woman. He appreciated how
Yu spoke to Mina as though she could hear every statement. He hoped she could, and in case she did, he tried to maintain an upbeat flow of words around her.

Emme gave him a slight grin. “I’m gonna bounce too. See you in a bit, Coop.”

He nodded. “I’ll be down as soon as she’s finished.”

Her sister came over to squeeze Mina’s hand. “I can’t blame you for not eating that stuff, sis. Kelly’s stew is nowhere close to Mom’s.” Her voice cracked on the last word, and she turned away abruptly, obviously incapable of keeping up a lighthearted pretense right then. She slipped away without
further comment.

Coop managed to coax her to eat another bite, noting her grimace as she chewed and swallowed. “Oh, honey, I wish you’d say something.” Putting aside the bowl, he leaned forward to touch his forehead to hers. “I wish I knew if you were still in there, and how I could reach you.”
After a moment of no further response, he resumed feeding her, feeling defeated. How could he reach her? Was there even anyone left to reach, or had Shane broken her completely with his final acts of violence and killing her mother?

*****

Mina could sort of hear them. She was aware enough to realize they were afraid she had slipped out of reach. She wanted to reassure them, but didn’t know how. With what little function she could devote to thinking, she had already concluded she didn’t know if she wanted to be found. It was safe in her comfortable haze. She was numb and didn’t have to deal with unwanted emotions.

“You have such pretty hair.”
Yu’s chatter while she brushed her hair slipped into her mind, a soothing stream of words that she sometimes understood. Other times, the meanings were too hard to decipher and would require leaving the self-imposed cloud of mental anesthesia helping her get through each day. If she had to focus too hard, she might slip back to reality, and she didn’t want that. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

*****

At some point, Mina had started following Coop most everywhere. She was his silent shadow, but he found her presence soothing, not intrusive. It reassured him to know he could look over at her and instantly reassure himself she was still there. She seemed to do better in his presence, except for the nightmares, and he thought maybe there was a bit more peace in her expression as the days passed. He hadn’t heard her utter a word in almost four weeks, and she seemed no closer to a breakthrough in that area, unfortunately. Still, she had made some progress. She would sit at the table and eat with everyone, lifting the silverware of her own accord, chewing and swallowing mechanically. Her food had to be cut for her, but that was a small concession.

Mostly, she was vacant-eyed, but as the days slipped away, he was reasonably sure there were more and more moments of returning clarity, which seemed to last longer. Her gaze was sharper for a greater length of time, and her brain seemed to be working furiously sometimes. As the cold of January slipped into an even more frigid February, he found a spark of hope that she might recover, if given sufficient time.

That evening, the adults, including Mina, sat at the table, minus Hector and Valeria, who had made her position known when she’d tried to shoot the missing man. He was now in the bunkhouse, confined with zip ties, as they discussed what to do about the current situation.

“We have to banish him,” said Emme. “He’s a pedophile and can’t stay here.”

“If he’s a pedophile, we need to shoot his miserable ass,” said Winn, his hard tone brooking no argument. “You can’t let a sicko like that loose out there with so many victims readily available these days.”

“I agree with Mr. Marsden,” said Chelle, her expression cold.

“He may not be a pedophile,” said Kelly, who then looked defensive at the cold gazes shot at her. Coop felt a stirring of pity for her, though he didn’t agree with her assertions. “The world is different now.”

“Not different enough that it’s okay for a twenty-two-year-old man to be sleeping with a fifteen-year-old girl,” asserted Winn. “That’s rape.”

“It didn’t sound like rape,” said Kelly. “Valeria told us she walked in on them together, and it appeared consensual.”

“Appearances can be deceiving,” said Coop grimly, shooting a glance at Mina.

Kelly winced, but continued to argue her position. “Adolescence is a relatively new concept. A hundred years ago, Yu would have been an adult.”

“I think we’re more advanced than that now,” said Tony.

Kelly scoffed. “Are we? Look at how quickly society has deteriorated. It’s easy to be civilized when life is easy, but without technology, our polite veneers have slipped in favor of survival.”

“You’re saying she’s fucking him out of a sense of survival?” asked Owen, sounding skeptical.

Kelly issued a long sigh. “No, I’m saying we’re headed back to our truer natures. Fifteen can still be relatively naïve at this point, like Finn, or it can be an adult. Yu has gone through things none of us have experienced. I imagine it has a way of making you grow up quickly. You shouldn’t discount her ability to consent based on a contrary number that has nothing to do with our new reality.”

“That’s bullshit,” said Tony. “By that reasoning, you’d be okay with a twelve-year-old and an adult
having sex.”

Kelly sighed. “No, I wouldn’t. Twelve is still clearly a child. Fifteen is different. It will probably be the new age of adulthood within a generation or two.”

“Well, it isn’t yet, young lady. Right now, he’s still considered a pedophile rapist, and we need to stop him. Let’s castrate the bastard.” Winn’s voice thundered through the dining room.

“And brand him with the word rapist on his forehead,” added Chelle. “If he lives.”

“We can’t just kill someone,” said Emme.

“You were ready to kill Shane,” said
Dana. Coop winced when Emme’s eyes darkened, and Dana held up her hand. “I don’t disagree with you, Emme. I’m just pointing out you knew when someone had to die, and you were ready to do it.”