Angel Fall (23 page)

“You’re…Melania?”

The woman nodded and smiled. “Now you understand the true power of healing. The eyes of the soul must be opened because all creatures join hands in the rebirth of a single heart. Only when that takes place can we become free from the shadow of dying.”

“I feel so happy.” Tears were in Amanda’s eyes. “I feel like this has always been my home and I want to stay here forever.”

“This is your home. But there is one more thing that you must do before your work is finished.”

“What is it?”

“An act of joy that will fulfill the purpose of your life. But right now it’s time to go and see the one you carried over so many weary miles.”

“Oh, yes. Where is he?”

“Come, I’ll show you.” The woman turned and led her across the clearing. On the other side the path became visible again. As Amanda walked, she had never experienced such joy. The whole forest was alive with singing creatures that reached out from every tree and bush and flower, trying to touch Melania. It was like a mother walking among her children. The air itself seemed to ripple with ecstasy. A kind of dreaminess entered her mind. This was Heaven. She knew it.

“All of them love you so much,” Amanda said.

“They were dead and I brought them back to life again. But my power is limited to this mountain. You have walked through my poor world, Amanda. What is it like away from here?”

“It’s awful. So ugly.”

“But it will live once more because a new Healer is among us.”

“Really?”

“It’s you, my child. You are the Chosen One. Within you lies the power to make this world into what it was meant to be. That’s why you were called to bring the baby home.”

“I don’t know how to heal anything.”

“The gift will be awakened. All you need is a little of the courage that brought you here.”

“It was Wanderspoon who brought us here. We never would have made it otherwise.”

“Speak carefully. That name is a curse. He brought you because he wanted a reward. He’s a pitiful creature.”

“I know, but sometimes I almost felt sorry for him.”

“He wasn’t always the way he is now. Once he had great gifts.”

“We spent a night in this dead, empty city, but he thought it was full of people and he was their king. While we were there, I had a dream. In it, there was an earthquake and a fire and a lot of people died.”

Melania stared at her. “You dreamed the truth. It must be part of your gift awakening. What you saw happened long ago, during the last Great War. What else did you dream?”

“The buildings fell down, and Wanderspoon was right in the middle of them. How did he get away?”

“He isn’t human.”

“What is he?”

“When the Worwil came to Boreth we brought spirits with us to help us do our work. He was one of mine. I gave him power to heal all creatures. But he turned against me, choosing to rule instead of serve. So I took his power away. Now his life is cursed. He hoped that if he brought you here the curse would be removed.”

“What’s going to happen to him?”

“He will wander on and on, trying to fill his hunger.”

At any other time Amanda would have found the words very frightening. But in her dreaminess she simply walked on looking at the pretty flowers and trees. They had been climbing for an hour when Melania left the path and led her into a tiny clearing. There, in a patch of sunlight, lay the little boy fast asleep.

“Shhh,” Melania whispered. “We don’t want to wake him. I’m sure he hasn’t slept like this in a long, long time.”

Amanda whispered, “He’s so beautiful, and I love him so much. I want to pick him up.” The woman smiled and led her away. When they had gone a short distance, Amanda stopped. “There was a question I wanted to ask, but I can’t make my mind remember it. Oh, I remember. What’s his name?”

“My sister Bellwind didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

“Did she tell you anything?”

“Not much.”

“Perhaps she thought you weren’t ready. His name is Aloi, and he is the Living Presence of the Spirit that is in all things.”

“He’s a spirit?”

“Listen to a little song that we used to teach the children.” She began chanting softly.

When she was finished, Amanda said, “That’s so beautiful. But there’s something I don’t understand.”

“What is it, my child?”

“If that’s who he is, why does anybody want to hurt him? One night we saw evil things riding on horses. If they’d have found us, we’d both be dead.”

Sadly Melania replied, “In the universe the great battle never ends, Light and Darkness, good and evil, love and fear, the circle turns on and on.”

“I was really scared that night.”

“Little daughter, let me take your fear away. In the world of Light and Darkness, which is good and which is evil?”

“What do you mean?”

“Which is better and which is worse?”

“I guess light is better. It lets you see.”

“But too much light can burn your eyes with fire, and only in darkness is the crimson moon revealed. Deeper, child, go deeper, to thoughts that you have never known. Creating or destroying, which is good and which is evil?”

“Well, creating things is better than wrecking them.”

“But how can new things come unless the old is swept away? If nothing died, could anything be born?”

“I guess there wouldn’t be any room left, would there?” Amanda was struggling to make her mind work. “Okay, but there’s one thing I know for sure. Hurting a baby is always bad. And there’s nothing good about it.”

“Ah, here is the secret within the secret, the greatest secret of all. Few there are who find it and fewer still who grasp its power. But to the Chosen it is revealed. And you are the Chosen, my child. Aloi is the light. The darkness tries to overcome him because it is the destiny of evil to fight against the good. But struggling against it makes him strong. Like a butterfly trapped in a cocoon fighting to reach the wind. Fighting, fighting, for if it does not fight, its wings will be weak and it will never fly. If there were no evil to fight against, there would be no light in Aloi. Chaos, darkness, and evil are only the names we give the cocoon out of which all light is born.”

“I don’t understand any of that. How can he fight against things on horses? He’s just a baby. What if they had killed him?”

“No creature of the Light can ever die.”

“They killed a huge stone horse and he was a creature of the Light. I saw them do it.”

Melania paused and her eyes filled with tears. “So, my brother Sandalban is gone.”

“I’m sorry. I forgot he was one of you.”

“It’s all right. You saw him die?”

“Yes, and it was horrible.”

“But what happened when his body was destroyed?”

“His spirit rose in the air and he flew away.”

“So, he didn’t really die at all, did he?”

“Well, not exactly.”

“Don’t you see what happened, Amanda? The Servants of the Night released him. They set him free from a world of pain. Wasn’t that for his good?”

“I…guess so. But it was terrible too.”

“Yes, evil is always terrible. And what they did to him was very evil. But tell me, wasn’t he happier to be free?”

“Well, he looked happier. He’d been chained to the ground for ages.”

“So good came out of bad. Hasn’t that happened to you? Aren’t you a better person for all that you have suffered?”

Softly Amanda replied, “A lot better. I was so selfish and angry before. But I don’t think it’s that way for everybody. What about Wanderspoon?”

“Some creatures learn more quickly than others. But slowly, through the endless wheel of life and death and life again, every being, even Wanderspoon, grows toward the Oneness of all things.” She stopped and knelt down. Near the path, there was a tiny flower. “Look, child. Do you see the lovely spirit inside?”

Amanda knelt and looked. Flowing up the stamen and over the petals was a misty little creature with the eyes of a baby. “Oh, it’s so cute.”

“Pull it out of the ground.”

“But I don’t want to do that. It’ll kill it.”

“Just do it and see.”

Reluctantly Amanda picked the flower. A startled look came into the little spirit’s eyes, but then it changed to excitement and joy. With a soft cry, it leaped into the air and vanished.

“Where did it go?”

“Where did my brother Sandalban go? To be reborn. The flower was glad to leave the dead shell that you hold in your hand, just like Sandalban was glad to leave his chained body. Don’t you see? Good and evil need each other. They’re like two sides of a single leaf.”

“I’m so confused. If that’s true, what
is
good and what
is
bad? What’s the difference if it all comes out the same? Why does it matter which one you choose?”

“Because every creature must fulfill the purpose for its life. Look how Wanderspoon brought you here. He chose evil because that’s his destiny. You chose good because that is yours. Both of you had to be what you are for it to work together.”

“But if it’s our destiny, we aren’t choosing at all, are we? We’re just doing whatever we’re supposed to, and that isn’t good or bad. It just
is
.”

“My daughter, your wisdom is very great. Now you understand the secret. All that matters is being who you are in the Oneness of Life. And remember, above all else, there is love. Love guides all things. Good and evil, light and darkness, creation and destruction, even life and death, all work together in eternal love. My world is moving out of chaos into love and light. Evil was necessary for good to be reborn. Aloi is the power of healing, and you will be the healer. The ancient prophecies foretold that one would come who would be the Bearer of Life for all. And so you are. But our time is short. There is much to do when the baby awakens. We must prepare you for your great task.” She clapped her hands. Out from the trees stepped dozens of lovely girl-spirits. “Come, children, prepare our little sister for the Great Awakening.”

With cries of joy they came and took Amanda’s hands. Then, laughing and singing, they led her off into the forest down a long path to a hidden glen. There she found a silvery pool. In the sparkling ripples, she thought she could see tiny beings made of foam dancing and vanishing. Then the preparation began. First she was bathed in the deliciously warm water, then anointed with sweet oils that made her skin tingle. She almost fell asleep as her hair was brushed and braided with flowers. Finally a simple white gown was brought, and on her head was placed a thin circlet of gold that looked like a crown. When they were finished, Amanda stared at her reflection. She was pretty,
really pretty
, in a way that she had never thought possible. The sun was setting when the laughing spirit-girls led her back to Melania.

“Amanda, my daughter, you are so beautiful.” There were tears in the woman’s eyes. Amanda wanted to cry herself. How often she had dreamed of hearing those words from her mother, dreamed of hearing them and knowing they were true. But they had never been true, not until this moment. And looking up at Melania, she could almost see her mother’s eyes. To keep from bursting into tears, she looked away and whispered, “You’ve done so many wonderful things for me, and I don’t deserve them. I love you.”

Melania smiled. “Daughter, the joy is all mine. But I have one last gift to give.” From out of the trees, a spirit-girl brought a stone chalice. Lifting it high, the woman’s lips moved as though in prayer. Then she turned to Amanda.

“Dusk is the time when night and day join hands. At this sacred moment I give you the most precious thing I possess. It came with me from beyond the stars and is called the Tears of Heaven.” She handed the chalice to Amanda. From it came a bittersweet fragrance. Inside was a mysterious liquid. The surface was calm, almost like oil. But beneath raged a tiny ocean. Miniature waves crashed and swirled in frothing luminescence.

“What is this?”

“Drink it, my child. It will show you all that you were meant to be.”

“It looks kind of scary.”

“You need fear nothing that comes from my hand.”

Amanda hesitated. But such love was in Melania’s face that her fear vanished. Putting the chalice to her lips, she drained it to the bottom.

A
t first, nothing.

Only a faint sweet flavor that Amanda had never tasted before. Then slowly came a distant roaring.

What was it? A voice? A thousand voices? Whispering, chanting, a single note, a single tone deeper than any ever heard before.

Louder, and louder still…

Thundering Deepness…

Ten Thousand Voices in One…

An Ocean of Roaring Sweeping Down from the Sky…

An Ocean Crashing over her…

Gasping…struggling to breathe…

Drowning…Dying…

And then…

Exaltation!

Fire…

Her soul was turning into flame…her mind exploding. Blazing! Consuming the shell of her flesh…Rising higher and higher…Above the forest, above the mountain, above the planet. Flaming beyond the universe. Entering the Greatness…the Ecstasy…the Rapture of One. Of One Alone! Complete in Splendor. Beyond All! In All! Light, Darkness, Good, Evil, Love, Hate, Life, Death…meant nothing in the Endless Oneness of the One. All that mattered was drowning the Amanda-girl of long ago in the Vastness of the Presence. Becoming One…One that was God…Is God…Beyond God…

To be God…

One!

Then from far away she heard Melania whisper, “Beyond good and evil, beyond all fading dreams, you are the Presence and the Holy.”

And Amanda-god whispered, “I am One.”

But then her mind began sliding backward through the stars. Down…and down.

Suddenly below her was the planet. She saw oceans and mountains, deserts and forests, and heard Melania whisper, “All exists for the pleasure of the One. Now you must choose. Shall this dream live or shall it die? Nothing is real but the dreams of the One.”

Amanda-god answered, “Today the dream will live because it pleases me.”

“Then come back and bring it LIFE.”

In an instant she felt her mind contracting, smashing through her skin back into her flesh. Gasping! Struggling to breathe! Once more she was looking out through her eyes. Too much. Too fast. She fainted. But Melania caught her.

Instantly Amanda’s eyes opened. Then she spoke, but not with her lips, with her mind. “I don’t want to be here. I want to be where I was.”

Melania’s mind replied, “Soon, my daughter, very soon. But first you must make your world live again.”

“How?”

“By releasing the power of Aloi. Come.”

Taking her by the hand, the woman led her through the forest. As they walked, Amanda felt strangely dislocated as though part of her had been split away and was floating high above. It was like seeing out of two sets of eyes, one in her body and the other in the treetops. Looking through the “treetop eyes” made the god-feeling return. And she found that she could shift her awareness back and forth from Amanda-god to Amanda-girl. It was jarring. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t sure who she really was.

Finally they reached the place where the little boy had been sleeping. He was awake. Focusing through her “girl-eyes,” Amanda reached down and picked him up. At first he stared at her, and then he clung to her. She kissed him. “I’m so glad to see you. I’ve missed you so much.” But there was an odd echo in her voice, and she found it hard to keep her awareness in her body.

Softly Melania said, “It’s time to go.”

Moving through the trees, they came to a wide path that led up the Mountain. It was dark now and the crimson moon was rising. As they climbed, they soon left the forest, and the path began twisting steeply upward through barren rocks. Amanda heard singing, and looking back, she caught her breath. At first she thought every tree on the Mountain was on fire. But then she realized that it was the spirits living within the trees. The whole forest was blazing with tree-angels, thousands and thousands of them, singing for joy. Her awareness shifted above, and once more she felt ecstasy. The spirits were worshiping her, singing about her strength and beauty and courage. But then her “girl eyes” looked down at the baby. He was staring at her. For a moment she stopped feeling split in two and was only a girl again.

As she struggled to understand what was happening, Melania whispered into her mind. “Soon we will reach the place where all things are made new. Prepare yourself. Purify your soul.”

“How do I do that?”

“Remove every doubt and look toward the stars where you were born. Hold the little one close. Feel his life. And speak the words of Oneness that I taught you.”

Softly Amanda whispered, “Let peace and Oneness enter my heart for I am One with all things.”

And Amanda-god returned.

As they climbed, mist began to appear. With her god-eyes she looked behind her. The fiery singing spirits of the trees were following, and, as they entered the mist, around each one appeared a glowing aura. It was like an ocean of crystal spheres with living flames inside, drifting up the Mountain. But soon the mist grew so thick that she had to look out of her “girl-eyes” or she would trip and fall. “Melania, where are you?”

“Right here, my child.” She felt the woman take her arm. “Stay close. We’re almost there.”

Finally they stepped out onto a flat stone pavement. Here the fog was so heavy that she couldn’t even see the baby in her arms. Melania said, “We are at the place where Aloi was born. And here his spirit must be released so that he can make all things new again.”

“How will that happen?”

“I’ll show you.” A dozen more steps and they stopped. “Amanda, though you can’t see it, you are standing above the Womb of the World. Say the words of Oneness.”

She repeated. Instantly her god-mind was floating in ecstasy.

“This is where the Power of All Healing will come. Do you want that, my child?”

“Yes.”

“Then lift Aloi and release him.”

Instantly Amanda’s awareness flashed back into her body. “What did you say?”

“Lift him and release him into the Womb.”

“I…I don’t understand.” With her “girl-eyes,” she began struggling to see what was in front of her. But it was impossible. “What do you mean…release him?”

“Hold him out and let him go.”

“You mean…drop him?” She was incredulous.

“Daughter, look down.”

Amanda looked. Gradually the mist parted and a dim golden light appeared thousands of feet beneath her. She gasped. She was standing on the edge of a sheer precipice. As she watched, the light began to rise, and in it, arms were reaching upward. “What is that down there?”

“The Spirit of the Womb. The Mother Force of Boreth.”

Suddenly she heard the anguished cry of a woman.

“She knows her child is here, and she is calling for him. Release him to her.”

“But she’s still…a long way off.”

“Don’t be afraid. He won’t be harmed. She will take Aloi to his true home, where he will be loved forever and his power will fill the world.”

“But…if I let go…will he…float?”

“He will fall to the Mother.”

Amanda looked at the little boy. He was staring at her and clinging with all his might. She had never felt him hold on so tightly.

“Maybe…we could wait until she gets a little closer. I think he’s kind of scared.”

“Aloi cannot feel fear. What you sense is your own dread of losing him, and you must overcome it. You saw what happened when the spirit of the flower was released. Much greater joy will come when he is loosed to make all things new again.”

“But the flower died. Is…his body going to die?”

“He can never die.”

“But then how will his spirit be released?”

“Do you trust me, child?”

“Yes.”

“Would I do anything to harm him?”

“No.”

“Then believe my words and obey.”

Amanda looked up at Melania. The woman’s eyes were filled with overwhelming love. “Well…if that’s what I’m supposed to do…” Breathing hard, she inched closer to the edge and held out the baby. But the little boy began struggling. Quickly she pulled him back. “He’s scared. He really is. He’s never been this way before. I want to do what I’m supposed to, but I just can’t drop him.”

Another heartbreaking cry echoed from the deep, and Melania spoke urgently, “Child, there are many things you don’t understand. Soon the moment of power will be gone. The ancient prophecies must be fulfilled right now.”

“Please…just have her come up and take him. I know she wouldn’t want him to be afraid.”

A strange look came into Melania’s eyes, “Child, she cannot. The eternal Laws are written. The power of Aloi must be released by the faith of the Life Bearer. It is from your arms that his spirit must fly. There is no other way. If you care for a dying world,
release him
.”

Tears came to Amanda’s eyes, “Melania, I want to, I really do, but…”

“Look down at her, Amanda.”

Far below, she saw a mother’s face—and in it there was endless sorrow and yearning, and her arms were reaching upward.

“If you truly love him, give him back to his mother. Complete the task of faithfulness for which you were born.”

The singing grew in majesty as though Heaven itself had been drained of splendor to give her strength.

“Release him, my child.” Melania laid her hand on Amanda’s head. Instantly waves of ecstasy swept through her and her mind floated upward.

Exaltation!

Oneness!

She watched from above as her body stepped to the edge of the precipice and held out the child. But just as she was about to drop him, she heard a different voice in her mind, and it spoke with power,
Amanda, wake up!
Instantly her awareness crashed back into her body. The feeling of being split in two vanished, and she awakened as though from a dream. She looked into the baby’s eyes. In them, there was a searching presence that was staring into her soul.

With a gasp she pulled him back and cried out,
“No! I won’t do it! I will not drop him down there!”
Then she turned away from the edge.

Instantly the singing stopped, and there was a silence so heavy it seemed to crush the air. Amada looked at Melania. The woman’s face was changing. The beauty was fading away. Her skin was growing very white, and tiny lines were appearing around her eyes. Her mind whispered into Amanda’s mind.
Child of the Wind…

But Amanda stopped her. “No, don’t talk to me that way. Use your mouth.” It wasn’t a request. It was a command.

Another terrible silence. And then a soft eerie groan seemed to come from everywhere. The woman began growing taller. The skin of her face hardened. From her lips came a ghostly whisper,
“Lutakuan…moleteva…melesssss…”
There was a scraping sound like something with huge claws crawling over glass.

But Amanda wasn’t frightened. Instead, within her she felt a terrible, steely calm. In a soft voice she said, “You told me this was the Great Mountain. If it is, then I want to see the One Who Lives in the Mists. Bring me to him right now.”

There was a sigh like the last breath from a dying body, and the woman whispered, “Amandamaaaa…you have followed liiies…”

But before she could continue, Amanda cried out, “Yes, I followed lies. And they all came from you.”

An eerie, creaking ripple trembled through the stone beneath her feet, and the scratching, crawling sound grew louder. But Amanda kept on. “You told me that Darkness is as strong as Light, that one can’t live without the other.
A lie!
Darkness is so weak that the smallest candle can make it disappear!”

Taller. The woman was growing taller. Heavy wrinkles were appearing all over her body. The lovely moss of her gown was sinking into them and turning deathly white. But Amanda didn’t stop, and her voice began echoing over the Mountain. “You told me that evil is as strong as good, that one can’t live without the other.
A lie!
Good doesn’t need evil to live. But evil can’t exist unless there’s something for it to destroy. It can’t live a minute on its own because destroying is the only power it has. That’s why evil is weak.
And you are evil!
You tried to destroy us. I let my mind go to sleep because I didn’t believe that evil could be so beautiful. But I was wrong. Lies are always beautiful. You told me I was a god. I’m not a god, and I never will be. You wanted me to kill this child with my own hands, to drop him to his death to the thing down below. And I almost did it because I loved your lies. But whoever you are,
you’ve failed
. I do have the power to choose. And I have chosen. If you want this baby you’ll have to kill me to get him.”

A scream!

Out of the woman’s body streaked a thousand twisted limbs that writhed, splitting and branching into the air. Higher and higher, she towered over the girl. But as Amanda stared at her, she was changing too. A blazing strength shone in her eyes. In that terrifying moment her childhood ended, and she became all that she was meant to be. Calmly she said, “This isn’t the Mountain. My journey isn’t finished. I still have to take the baby home.”

From the tree came a shrieking voice: “I am Melania, Worwil of Life and Death, the Queen of Heaven. I give life and take it away. Now you will know who is stronger.” The tree grew into a giant. But still the woman’s face was visible, twisting and elongating high up within the trunk. Her limbs and branches cast a thousand shadows into the sky. Then the shadows and the Melania-tree became one. The air around her boiled and surged like a thunderhead. At that moment Amanda knew what she was seeing because she had seen it before. As the tree in the sky roared above her, she held the baby against her heart. A mighty rush of wind surged as the trunk tore out of the ground and rose. For a moment it hung motionless.

And then the lights appeared.

From inside the trunk flashed gigantic shafts of red and green and blue and purple. Up and down they swirled in a hurricane of brilliance, leaving trails of glistening mist. As they moved faster and faster, out of them dropped thousands of smaller lights that raced and spun in every direction like a dance of fiery stars. But this time Amanda felt no ecstasy and her mind didn’t blur. She cried out. “You’re no healer. I know who you are. You’re the
thing
that gave me the disease!”