Angel of Redemption (79 page)

Kayla

When Dean and I pull away
from the beach house, I stare out the window, feeling my mood take a nosedive.
It’s been like a little haven for us. It feels like everything at home is so chaotic.

Once we get out onto the main road, Dean’s hand
slips into mine.

“We can come back anytime, Kayla. Charlotte’s
rarely here. I’m sure she’d be more than happy to have people using the house.”

I smile halfheartedly. “I know. But it’s not
going to be easy.”

“We’ll manage.
”

I nod and return my attention to the passing
scenery.

About halfway home, my phone rings. Logan’s name
pops up on my screen.

“Hey! What’s up?”

“Is it okay if I pick Claire up tonight?”

“I guess so.”

“Good. I miss her like fucking crazy. I’ll bring
her home right after dinner. I got somethin’ I wanna talk to you about.”

“Okay.”

“Cool!” He hangs up without saying good-bye.

“What was that about?” Dean asks, glancing
sideways at me.

“Logan wants to pick up Claire, and then he wants
to talk to me.”

“About what?”

I shrug. “Don’t know. If he tells me he’s not
graduating tomorrow, though, I’m going to kick his ass.”

Dean laughs. “He’s graduating, Kayla. Relax.”

“I think I’m going to talk to Matty tomorrow
night about the change in social workers. I can’t keep it from him anymore. I
keep trying to tell myself I’m doing it for his sake, but the truth is, I’m
just plain scared of how he’ll react. That’s kind of selfish of me, isn’t it?”
I look over at Dean and see him grimacing like he’s in pain. “You okay?” I ask.
He nods once. I narrow my eyes at him when he looks over at me, and he offers
me a small smile. “Do you have a therapy appointment tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you looking forward to it?”

“I’m looking forward to dealing with my shit,” he
says flatly. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk about it, so I leave it alone
and rest my head against the window. Dean reaches over and switches on his
iPhone, letting soft music fill the silence, and then rests his hand on my
knee.

When we get to my house, Dean turns off the car
and releases a deep breath. I look over at him. It’s really over. Our perfect
weekend has come to an end.

Grabbing our bags from the trunk, we lug them
inside. Andy and Sara are home, cooking with a few friends from the child advocacy
office. I know most of them either from cases or because they’re Andy’s
friends. They wave polite hellos, beer and wineglasses in hand as we approach.

“You stayin’ for dinner, man?” Andy asks, popping
the top off a beer and handing it to Dean. He declines with a frown.

“Nah, I have to get back to the house for work. I
just need to pick up a few things. Thanks, though.”

“Sure.” Andy nods, offering me the bottle.

“Thank you,” I say, reaching for it. I take a sip
and set it down on the counter. As Andy makes his way back to his friends, I
slip my hand into Dean’s and tug him toward the bedroom. When we get there, I
let go and sit on the edge of the bed watching him pull clean clothes from the
dresser.

“Aren’t you going to take out your dirty ones?” I
ask when he shoves a pair of jeans into his bag.

“I’ll wash them at the house.”

I stick out my lower lip, feigning insult.
“Dean?”

He glances up at me. “Huh?”

“You can leave it here. I’ll do your laundry.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t.”

Standing, I take a couple of steps toward him and
put my hand on his wrist to stop him. I run my thumb over his ink. I’m not
looking at his face, but I can tell he’s staring down at me. His body shifts,
his hand reaching for my hip. The heat radiating from him screams want.

“You are the perfect woman,” he says, his voice
thick and husky.

“Why?” I ask, smiling. “Because I offered to do
your laundry?
”

His fingers slip into the waistband of my pants
and move back and forth along my hip bone. “Uh-huh. That must be it.”

“Oh,” I say, wetting my lips and pushing out my
chest. “Well, in that case
…” I pull away and reach for his bag. “I’ll
just go wash thiiiiiiiiisss.” I squeal as his arm wraps around my waist and I’m
lifted into the air before landing on my back on the bed. His mouth presses
against mine. I giggle because he’s being eager and aggressive, his hands
pushing up my shirt until they reach my breasts and feel me through my thin,
satin bra. He grunts and thrusts his hips between my legs.

“God, you’re so hard,” I pant.

“I’m always hard for you. You should know that by
now,” he answers, pulling down the fabric and rolling his tongue around my
nipple before latching his lips around the whole damn thing.

I’m just about to insist we take our clothes off
for one last time this weekend when I hear my name being called from the other
room. Dean releases me and rests his forehead against my flushed chest with a
sigh.

“Kayla?” My door opens just as I’m pulling down
my shirt. “Oh! Shit! I’m so sorry,” Sara gasps. “I, uh
…”

Dean stands up and tries to slyly adjust himself
so that his massive boner isn’t so obvious, but it doesn’t work. I giggle.

“I’ll
…uh… I’ll wait…out here.”

“It’s okay,” Dean chuckles softly. “I gotta go.”
He walks out past Sara. As I approach her, her eyes grow wide.

“
I’m so
sorry!
” she mouths. I shake my head with a smile. It’s not like I didn’t
just spend the weekend naked with the man.

“Don’t worry about it,” I assure. I walk Dean to
the door and lean into him. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I whisper, planting a soft
kiss on his mouth.

“Absolutely.” He kisses me back, sucking on my
lower lip a little, just the way he knows I like.

“Thanks for the weekend.”

“My pleasure.” He winks before turning around and
strolling to his car. I hate watching him drive away, but I’ve just had three
of the best days of my life, so I’m not complaining.

I hang with Andy, Sara, and the others for awhile.
We eat and drink, but I stay sober. First, because I have work tomorrow, and
second, because Logan has something he wants to talk to me about. Knowing him
and his propensity for doing stupid shit, I’d better not mess with my senses or
reflexes.

Around eight o’clock, everyone has left. We’re
cleaning up when Claire and Logan walk in the door.

“Hey, guys!” Claire smiles and lets go of Logan
to come give me a hug.

“How was it?” I ask quietly.

“It was good. Much better than I expected.”

“How so?”

“I was thinking tents and sleeping on the ground
and stuff, but we stayed in cabins with real beds. I mean, I don’t think I’d
have a problem with it, but some of those girls’ stomachs were kinda big, and I
can’t imagine sleeping on a hard ground like that.” She wrinkles up her nose
and shakes her head. I chuckle. “And they had showers and real toilets, too.”

“I’m hoping that wasn’t the best part of the
weekend,” I say, lifting an eyebrow.

Claire looks back at Logan. “No, but I’ll tell
you about it later.”

Andy and Sara get the hint and take Claire out
back. Andy has the fire bowl roaring, and the three of them settle into the
lounge chairs on the patio.

“What’s up?” I ask, turning to face Logan and
pretending I’m a lot more nonchalant than I actually feel.

“Um. So
…I kinda wanted to say… Um.” He
shifts from foot to foot.

“Do you want to sit down?”

“Yeah.” He nods and flops down onto the couch
without any grace whatsoever. I wait for him to start again, but now his legs
are bouncing and he’s chewing on his fingernail.

“Logan?”

“Uh, yeah, right. So
… Okay. You’ve been a
fucking amazing worker.”

It takes everything I have to keep from rolling
my eyes and laughing. “Well, thank you, Logan.”

“No. Really. I mean it. You’ve taken care of me
since I was a shitty little kid pissing everyone off. I just
… I guess I
never really said thanks for that. So…thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” I bite the inside of my cheek
in amusement.

“I
…” He takes a deep breath. “You didn’t
deserve the way I treated you,” he continues. My slight smile fades as I
realize what’s coming. He’s about to get serious. And for Logan, that’s a big
deal. He looks down, concentrating on his hands. “I spent the first ten years
of my life scraping food out of dumpsters. After Matty was born, I was so
scared to go to school—to leave him. I didn’t know if he’d still be alive
when I got home. My mom…” He grits his teeth at the mention of her. “She let
her boyfriends beat the shit of me. She let them…” Logan glances up at me
quickly. I can see the pleading in his eyes—begging me to understand
without him having to say it. Although I don’t know exactly what happened, he
already admitted to Dean that he was sexually abused. I nod to let him know he
doesn’t need to say a word. He breathes out in relief before continuing. “You
were the only one who ever loved me and I… I fucking… I don’t know. I always
knew it, but it was like I was just waiting for you to walk away because
everyone always does. And I thought that maybe if I pushed hard enough, you’d
do it on my terms. Then at least I would have had a real reason to explain why
you left, and I wouldn’t feel so shitty about it, ya know?” I can feel my
throat tightening, making it hard to swallow as emotion floods through me. “I
never really got over that way of thinking, and it started to be like second
nature or something. I did shit to make you mad without even really thinking
about it. But Claire wasn’t supposed to be one of those things. At least, I don’t
think she was.” Logan glances out the back toward where my sister is. “She’s
different from the girls I’ve known before, and it’s like every time I’m with
her, I feel like I’m worth something.” He stops and looks down at his hands.

“Logan.”

“No, wait. I’m not done. When she told me she was
having my baby, I freaked the fuck out, and I was looking for a reason to throw
it all back at you so you couldn’t kill me. Then I saw you and Dean and I had
my reason, and I…” He stops and finally makes eye contact with me. “I’m sorry.
I know it’s not enough, but I promise you—I swear to you that I will take
care of her. I won’t fuck up.”

“Yes, you will,” I say quietly. Logan’s mouth
drops open. “Everybody fucks up once in awhile, Logan. It’s human nature. If
your goal is to never make mistakes, you’re setting yourself up for failure,
and that’s no way to start your life together. The important thing is that you
learn from your mistakes. You have to listen to each other and work together to
make things better. I’m not happy about the way things happened. Actually, I’m
downright pissed about the way you two went about it, but it is what it is. We
all have to move on. We’ve got a little person on the way, and you two need to
get your shit together. Period.”

“I’m trying,” Logan says earnestly.

“I know you are. And I forgive you.” A giant grin
grows across his face, his dimples making an appearance. “Go home, kid. You’ve
only got a few more days with the boys before you and Brayden officially have
your own place.”

“I know, right? That shit’s crazy. The place is
sweet, too. Emily took us over there yesterday. It’s got like curtains and
stuff.” It’s both sad and very heartwarming to hear Logan get so excited about
simple things like curtains. I stand up. So does Logan.

“I’m gonna go say bye to Claire. You
’re
coming tomorrow, right?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” I assure. My heart aches. I
know it took a lot for him to say what he said. I love this kid and want so
much to see him succeed. He walks away toward the sliding glass door, but stops
before opening it, turning to face me again. His eyes meet mine.

“Thanks.”

* * *

When I go back to work on
Tuesday, I’m thrown right back into the thick of it. A home visit two hours
away, two in-office parent visits, what feels like four hundred phone calls,
and a stack of paperwork that has to be submitted by the end of the week.

At the end of the day, I rush home, change, and
pick up a waiting Claire before heading over to the high school, where Dean
meets us.

We watch hundreds of kids traipse across the
stage to receive their diplomas. I almost cry when Logan
’s name is
called. I’ve seen several of my kids graduate from high school, but this one
hits me hard for so many reasons. I also think about the fact that I’ll
probably never see my little sister do this. I have no doubt that she’ll
graduate one way or another, but I’m not sure if this kind of celebration is an
option for her anymore. She’s sitting beside me, her face beaming, eyes filling
with tears as Logan takes his diploma from Principal Sylvester. I’ve noticed
her hand slipping down to her stomach more than once tonight. I think it’s all
finally becoming real for her.