C
HAPTER
26
Dana
S
o far, I liked how “swirling” my chocolate mix with Adam's vanilla cream made the perfect blend. I liked his company, and we really enjoyed ourselves when we were together.
It was a little different dating someone of another race. We got the occasional glares of disapproval from black and white people, but we both ignored them. Honestly, I forgot that he was another color until someone else reminded me or my arm rested next to his and I saw the contrast.
What I like most about going out with Adam is that we were really dating. Like real dates and, to be honest, I wasn't used to it. Adam even called me in advance to ask me out. Most men thought a date was coming over and watching a movie. He was so down to earth, sweet, sincere, honest, and I was beginning to feel very comfortable with him. And what I like most about him is he never stood me up and was always on time. We would make plans to meet at five, and he would be there at four-fifty. I've been the one who has been running late on every date. He also calls me regularly; not, like, to check in on me or with me, just to say hello throughout the day. He's cooked me dinner, massaged my entire body without trying anything, surprised me with flowers at my job and even wrote me a poem. Okay the poem was a little corny, but he is a great guy, and I love the attention he shows me. I don't think I could date any man that doesn't treat me well again. Having someone like Adam in my life makes me want to say I'm done with black men altogether. That's a jokeâit is, but it's not. I honestly do feel like it's a big difference. The difference is I'm being pursued; I don't have to come on strong, or remind him that I am a good catch. Dating him, I feel like I get the freedom to be a lady. I don't feel like I have to put up with his shit, because there isn't anyone else like him. The truth be told, there are plenty of guys like Adam, and that is refreshing to know. No more chasing the prized black men.
Tonight we were meeting at Marie's Kitchen, an authentic Italian restaurant.
“Is it okay if I come on your side of the booth?” Adam asked, as he smiled brightly at me with his seductive green eyes.
“Of course.” I greeted him on my side of the booth, and our lips met quickly.
“I like this side better already. I get to sit next to an amazingly beautiful woman.”
“I know you do.” I snuggled up on him in our comfortable booth and we read off of one menu trying to decide what we wanted to order.
Now that Adam was on my side of the booth, he kept leaning into me, giving me quick kisses at the dinner table.
“Have you decided on what you would like to order yet?” the frustrated waiter asked for the second time.
“Whatever she wants,” Adam said, giving me another kiss on my cheek. I playfully pushed him off of me and looked down at the menu.
The waiter gave us an uncaring smile, as if to say, “Stop playing, and hurry up and order.”
“Dana, what are you ordering?” Adam asked.
“I don't know. Let's just get an appetizer for now.”
Adam looked over at the waiter, and we placed our drink and appetizer order.
Our food arrived, and we both nibbled off of my plate of calamari and seasoned stuffed meatballs.
“I still can't decide what I want. What are you going to get?”
“I'm not going to get anything else. I'll be leaving soon.” He looked down at his watch.
“You're not ordering? Are you going back to work already?” I asked, becoming a little sad that our fun was ending so soon.
“Yes, but I had to take a few hours away from work to spend time with you.”
“Well, I appreciate you taking time for me.”
“You are very welcome, but I am going to get out of here. So I'll see you maybe this weekend?” Adam asked as he put his coat on. He left money on the table for the bill, gave me one last kiss on the lips, and told me to call him when I arrived home.
I asked the waiter for a to-go container, and while I waited, a woman approached my table. She was honey brown, well dressed, cute and slightly younger than me. She was smiling really hard and I didn't know why.
“Hi, I know you don't know me and I know this is a little awkward but see my friends over there?” She pointed to a pretty group of brown women.
I looked over, and they waved. “Well we just wanted to know how is it?”
“How is what?” I asked completely dumbfounded.
“You know, dating a white guy. Your boyfriend is gorgeous, and we all have been considering it, but we are a little scared,” she said as she sat down at the table with me. “Well, they are scared. I'm not. I'm tired of our men.”
“Um, it's a little different; after a while you don't see color, you just see a great guy.”
“That what I was telling my friends, people are people, but they are scared of what people might say and don't want to feel like sellouts.”
“At first I was a little scared about what people might think, but I got over it. And black men date whoever they want and it's time for us to stop limiting ourselves when it comes to dating too.”
“Exactly, because when black men date white women, it's an upgrade, and when black women date white men, they try to say we are with the slave master. I don't think any of that is true. Thanks so much for giving me hope.”
“You're welcome. Good luck.”
C
HAPTER
27
Crystal
A
fter giving ACR Cable Vision eight hours of my day, it was too cold to be standing outside my job. I shouldn't have to and wouldn't be if Rell was here. He was driving my car, so he could have at least tried to be on time. I called Rell eight times, with no answer. When my phone finally rang, I answered it with an attitude.
“Yeah, Rell. How far away are you?”
“Crystal, it's me, Portia, girl.”
“Hello. Oh, my bad. Hey, Portia. I'm sitting here, waiting for Rell to pick me up. What's up with you?”
“Nothing. Just checking in on you. You and Rell still hanging in there, huh?”
“Yeah, we are. We're married. What's going on, Portia?”
What kind of question is that to ask somebody?
I thought.
“Oh, nothing. I just wanted to give you a heads-up about some information that came my way on Rell. Because if I knew he was like that, I wouldn't have introduced y'all or let you talk to him. I'm sorry I even have to come to you with all this.”
“All what? Portia, what is it?”
“Well, supposedly, Rell used to hustle down Brickyard in Germantown back in the day, and everybody that was down there still in jail except for Rell. So people are saying he is a snitch and he might get dealt with now that he back.”
“Hustling? Rell? Are you sure, Portia? Me and Rell talk about everything. He never mentioned selling drugs.”
“Oh, well, maybe it is the wrong one, but they said that Rell went into the navy or something, and wasn't he gone for a lot of years?”
“Rell was in the army.”
“Well, I guess that's a coincidence, then. Anyway, I want you to be careful, because you know how people might still be away but can get somebody else to handle people for them, and I don't want you and the children in the house and get caught in anything.”
“That's not going to happen, but thanks for the heads-up.” I was in a semi-trance, and I hoped that what Portia had just told me was incorrect.
If it is true, oh my God, here come the I-told-you-sos,
I thought. I looked up the street, and I saw Rell driving fast toward me. He pulled over, and I got in the car.
“Sorry I'm late, boo. I just got some bad news. One of the guys I was stationed with killed hisself. Nathan was my man for real, boo. And I was on the phone with his mom. I'm really messed up right now. I can't believe it. I lost track of time. I don't know why he didn't talk to anyone?” he said all in one breath.
I looked over at him to see if there was any hint of a liar or a drug-dealing hustler that someone was looking for. “Why did he kill himself?”
“Because his house is getting foreclosed on and he couldn't find a job, his wife is pregnant. I guess the last straw was when they repossessed his car last night.”
“I'm sorry to hear that. That's really crazy; he had a lot going on.”
“Yeah, but not enough to take hisself out. I can't believe he left his wife here to hold it down alone. That's some sucker shit, but a lot dudes come home and get dumb. That PTSD is real.”
“What's that? Postwar stress stuff?”
“Yeah. Now I got to wait for this other bull that was stationed with us to get everyone's ideas together on how we are going to help her.”
Rell was steady talking, but I wasn't really listening. As much as I loved him, if someone was looking for him, we couldn't be together and we were getting a divorce.
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I couldn't wait for Rell to come home so I could have a serious conversation with him about everything Portia had told me. He'd dropped me off earlier and then went back out. It was eleven thirty, and he still hadn't come in yet and I was growing impatient and called him.
“ ' Sup, wifey?”
“Where are you?”
“Out with Reef, having a drink. You all right?”
“Yeah. Rell. I just have a question to ask you when you get home.”
“Okay. I'll be there soon. I love you, Crystal.”
“Okay.”
“No, for real, Crystal. I really love you.”
“Rell, I'll see you when you get home.”
Rell came in kind of tipsy.
“Are you drunk, Rell?” Why did I bother asking him if he had been drinking when I already knew he had been?
“I had a beer or two, but I'm not drunk. I'm so glad to be home.” He started taking off his clothes and kissing all over me. “Boo, when we was out, they were all saying how they didn't want to go home, and I told all of them, âI can't wait to get home to my wife. I love my wife.' ”
“That's what you said? Uh, Rell, we need to talk.”
I didn't believe what Portia had said. I didn't know how to bring it up without offending him, but I also couldn't risk being shot at. He was drunk, so he would be truthful. I turned to him, and started hitting him with questions. I needed answers.
“Rell, uh, Portia called me today.”
“Okay. Yeah, what about her?” he asked, scratching his head.
“She said that you use to hustle and snitched on all these guys. And that they all are in jail and you are the only one out, and now people are looking to kill you.”
“What. That's not even true. I never snitched on anyone, and no one is looking for me. I hate when people talk about things they don't know anything about.” Rell's friendly demeanor was gone in an instant. I could tell he was upset and irritated. “My cousin Monk was getting money back in the day. He would pick me up from high school, buy me stuff, and let me drive his car. So everyone automatically assumed I was hustling, too, but I wasn't. So when they all got locked up, I was arrested with them.
“The state tried to hit me with conspiracy charges. However, they had no witnesses or evidence, and my charges were dropped. And when my charges were dropped, my mom took me down to the army office and made me enlist. She said it was either that or get kicked out and she would never speak to me again. So I joined the army. Nobody made me run, no one is looking for me, and I never sold drugs. My cousin Monk is about to come home in, like, two years. So tell Portia not to call you with any more nonsense.”
“So where is she getting this story from?”
“I don't know. This is the first I've ever heard of it, but I'm not surprised. I guess it does look suspicious since I am the only one home.”
“So why didn't you tell me?”
“I don't know. There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me yet, and there's a lot of stuff I don't know about you, but the one thing I need you to do is never doubt me. You are not married to a liar or a bad dude. Don't ever doubt me, Crystal, for real. It makes me real mad that you would believe something Portia said and would think I would put you or the kids in danger.”
“I didn't believe her, Rell. I was just asking. I'm sorry.” I felt like a complete idiot for even bringing this mess to Rell. I should have knew better than to listen to Portia.
C
HAPTER
28
Crystal
M
y dad apologized to Rell and me, and it felt like I hit the lottery. My father actually came to my house with my mom and stepped up to Rell like a man. Rell had to say only one thing to shut up my father. Rell said, “Sir, I plan on taking good care of your daughter. I will not disrespect her. If those were my intentions, then I wouldn't have married her.” That was enough right there, but then he said something that had my mom in tears. He said, “Sir, I, like you, only want what's best for Crystal and the children, and I'm a man. I'm going to take care of them.”
My mom said, “Crystal, honey, I don't know where you found him, but he is a winner.” I knew she was right. It felt so good to have my mom back in my life. I missed our conversations, her wisdom, and her babysitting.
Rell's mom, Ms. Cheryl, said she would watch the kids, but I didn't want to put that on her. She was my new mother-in-law, and I didn't want to start using her up already. No, but Ms. Cheryl was my girl. She sent clothes over for the kids all the time, like they were her grandbabies, but there was nothing like having my own mommy back in my life. I loved my dad, but we didn't always see eye to eye. But my mother always had my back. Well, at least 90 percent of the time.
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We were still waiting for the call. You know the call for that job that still hasn't panned out yet. Yeah, that one. Anyway, Rell said the job should be calling him any day. He was convinced; I wasn't. But once he started working, we were going to need a car. Instead of sharing my car, we were going to put our money together and get a cheap little car for the time being.
As we prepared to go to the car lot, guess who decided to give my phone a call? Dumbass Kenneth. He hadn't called for Kori in almost two months. His timing was horrible.
“Yes,” I answered with no type of enthusiasm.
“Yeah, I'm about to come past there and get my daughter.”
“Huh? You haven't even called to check on her or given me any money for her and you think you can just come and get her.”
“I know. I've been busy, but I'll be there in, like, forty-five minutes.”
Before I could say, “Oh, no, you won't,” the phone went dead. I started getting Kori ready and pulling out her clothes. Rell came up the stairs, asking me if I was ready.
“No, uh, I have to get Kori ready.”
“For what? Who was that on the phone?”
“It was Kori's father. He's about to come and get her.”
“Okay, well, he needs to call you in advance when he wants her. He doesn't know if you had something planned or not.”
“You're right, Rell, but he is still her father, and they do need to bond.”
A half hour later I heard Kenneth's horn beep, and I tried to get down the steps as fast as I could, which wasn't fast enough, because Kenneth came strolling in the door. I heard him say, “What's up?” to Jewel and Nasir. And he would have continued up the steps if he hadn't seen Rell on the top step, holding Kori. I was right behind him, clenching my teeth. Kenneth looked like he'd seen a ghost. He took a few steps back down. Rell didn't give Kenneth an opportunity to speak. He came down the steps with Kori in his arms. I yelled for Jewel and Nasir to come upstairs and use the restroom before we left. I wasn't sure what was about to be said.
“Hey. How you doing, fam? I'm Rell. I'm Crystal's husband.”
“Yeah, hey. How you doing? W-what's up?” Kenneth stammered.
“I know in the past y' all been having some disagreements and whatnot,” Rell stated. “So now I just wanted you to know any problems or issues, you can go through me. I'll handle it. You know, because I don't want her upset, and it will help us out a lot if you can pick a day and time when you going to get Kori so we can plan our day.”
Kenneth looked at him and then over at me and bitched up something crazy. “Oh, definitely. I feel you. Like, me and Crystal don't really have no beef no more. It is more her and my sister. I appreciate what you saying.”
“Let me get her bag,” Rell said as he handed Kori over to him.
Kenneth held his daughter in disbelief. I was about to excuse myself, because I was really trying not to laugh in Kenneth's face.
“What time are you bringing her back?” Rell asked.
“About seven.”
“Okay, that's good, because she is on a schedule. We'll see you then.”
Kenneth couldn't even wait three minutes before he started lighting up my phone with explicit text messages. He typed in, Fuck u bitch. Who the fuck is that nigga? Who the fuck do you think you are? You a dumb-ass smut. You got married, you whore. And then the text that made laugh the hardest was, Ain't no otha man gonna be round my daughta. Was I reading right? This was all too much for me not to laugh at. Didn't he say just a few months ago that she wasn't his? Now that I got a husband in the house, it was a problem.
His texts and calls kept zapping in and I just kept ignoring them. Rell was driving, so he wasn't paying attention to the barrage of lewd texts. Then miss cosigner extraordinaire Syreeta began calling. I didn't answer, so she left me a message. “Your ho ass then went and married someone? Your stank ass ain't even wait a whole six months before you start sitting on someone else dick! You're wrong as hell, Crystal! That's some fucked-up shit you on, for real. But I'm going to let you know you ain't going to play my brother. I'm not having it. We are going to go back down to court and taking that baby from you.”
I didn't have a response for their madness. I erased the messages. I was totally amused that Kenneth and Syreeta were upset that I was married and they thought they had a chance at taking my daughter from me. The first thing I thought of was when she was yelling at me in court that no one would ever want me. She now knew that she was wrong about that. All I could think was that Kenneth and his sister were so crazy, and I wished I had never met him or known them. It scared me that I would, in some shape or form, be in contact with him for another eighteen years.
Rell interrupted my thoughts. “Crystal, babe, tell that dude to stop calling you.”
“It's not him. It's his sister.”
“Yo, you might have to sit down with both of them, because they're not going to keep calling you all crazy over nothing. Something has to be done.”
“You're right,” I agreed and shut my phone off.
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The car lot had a big sign on the gate that read
BUY HERE. PAY HERE
. Neon green stickers covered the front windshields of rows of shiny waiting-to-be-driven-home cars. The salesman came out. He was a young Middle Eastern man. He asked us what kind of car we were looking for today.
“We just need a small, reliable car that's good on gas.”
“Okay. I got the perfect car for you.” He walked us over to a small Ford Focus.
“Not that small,” I said as a navy Chevy Tahoe caught my eye. “Oh, babe, look at this. I can't believe something this nice is only nine thousand dollars.”
“Yeah, this is nice. It's, like, five years old. It looks new, though,” Rell said. We both looked inside the truck and began admiring its features. There was a navigational system, a sunroof, CD player, and heated seats.
We took the truck around the block. It was much more car than we were looking for, but the car payment wasn't going to be that much. The tan leather interior was spotless and everything else was clean. It was like brand-new. I looked down at the miles.
“It has a hundred and forty thousand miles. That's a lot right Rell?”
“Yeah, but the miles don't matter as long as the last owner took good care of it. It runs nice.”
“It does. Do you like it?”
Rell asked the man if we could have a few minutes to decide whether or not we were going to buy the car. He said sure and we walked away from the salesman.
“What do you think? I think it is good. We should get it,” I said.
“He wants nine for it. We can talk him down, put two down, and then just pay off the rest. We would just make the car payments in the meantime.”
“Mom, I like this car. Rell, are we getting this one?” Jewel inquired.
“I don't know yet. It is up to Mommy. She makes the decision. It's nice, babe. You will look real good driving it,” Rell said.
“Mom can we get it please?” Nasir begged.
“Rell, can you drive me to school in it?” Jewel asked. They both were jumping up and down screaming, “Please, Mommy.”
“So what do you think, Mommy?” Rell asked.
“Okay. Let's get it.”