Another Mazzy Monday (17 page)

Ever since I was a child I had a dream to be the Governor of the great state of New Jersey. I wanted to do my part to help my home state and also my country in any way I could. I didn’t think it would be possible for me to achieve this dream and be gay at the same time. I hope the voters of this great state will prove me wrong on Election Day. I hope you’ll vote for me, Drew Graham, because I’m the right person for the job. Period. Thank you.

Once my brother steps away from the microphone he’s bombarded with questions, but he just waves them away. He’ll have no choice but to answer them eventually, but it doesn’t look like he’ll be answering them tonight.

“How do you feel?” George asks Drew as we all head into a back room.

“Free,” Drew replies. “For the first time in my life I feel free.”

“That went as well as could be expected,” our dad comments.

Our mother has been uncharacteristically quiet since my brother came out. But I can see in her eyes that something inside is percolating.

Finally she turns to Mazzy and says, “I hope you’re planning on moving out tonight.”

If my mom had slapped her in the face Mazzy would probably look less shocked.

Drew shakes his head. “That’s not necessary, Mom. She doesn’t have to move out right away.”

“Well she’s no longer engaged to my son.” She looks Mazzy up and down. “It wasn’t even a real engagement, was it?”

Mazzy is now blinking back tears and it’s ripping me apart.

“And she was
involved
with my younger son while she was supposed to be engaged to my older son. What kind of a woman does that?”

I can’t hold my tongue any longer. “Stop, Mom. This isn’t Mazzy’s fault.”

My mother’s lips are pursed so tight they look like a raisin. Then she turns her rage towards me. “You’re not much better. You betrayed your brother with his fiancée.”

“You can’t help who you fall in love with, Mother.” The words escape my lips before I have a chance to stop them. Do I love Mazzy? My declaration has surprised me.

And it’s apparently surprised everyone else as well. Both my mother and brother are slack jawed and Mazzy’s eyes are wider than I’ve ever seen them.

“She has to go,” my mother says finally once she’s managed to pick her jaw up from the floor.

“What do you want, Mother?” I say. “Why are you being so cruel?” Not that my mother can’t be mean, but this seems like an all-time low for her.

“I just want a normal family.” Now she’s the one who is blinking back tears.

“This is normal. It’s your picture perfect ideal that’s not normal. This is what human beings are really like. We’re all perfectly imperfect.”

My mother shakes her head. “This isn’t what your father and I worked so hard to achieve.

“It’s okay,” Mazzy says. “I can pack up my stuff and go. I’ll phone my sister to pick me up.”

Before I have a chance to stop her Mazzy hurries away. I notice that Drew didn’t defend her and he didn’t even try to stop her.

“If Mazzy goes, I go,” I tell my mom. She doesn’t seem the least bit upset about my departure.

Eleven

Mazzy

“Things could be worse,” Suzie says as she helps me pack up my clothes and personal items.

“How could they possibly be worse?” I toss the camel pantsuit that Austin said made me look like Hillary Clinton into my suitcase. “The press has pulled me through the mud. The papers that aren't calling me a dumb blonde who fell for a gay man are basically calling me a liar who was just in it for the money.”

“Can’t you be both?” my sister teases. She can always find a way to make me smile. “Look, we've got a quarter of a million dollars. It's enough to get our business started. People in Old Town won't care about all the political stuff as soon as they taste our waffles and French toast.”

“I hope you’re right.”

She throws my new shoes into a smaller bag. “I’m always right.”

“I'm sorry.” I heave a big sigh. “I just can't seem to get excited about much right now.”

My sister eyes me. “This is about Austin, isn’t it?”

I nod. “I haven't seen him since he had the big fight with his mom. He knew I was going to be moving out today.”

“I know you really like him.”

“A lot,” I admit. “I'm just not so sure how he feels about me now that the shit has all hit the fan.”

“I have a surprise,” Suzie says.

I furrow my brow. “What's that?”

“You'll have to wait and see. I think it will cheer you up.”

Seeing Austin might be the only thing that could cheer me up at this point, but I don't want to burst my sister's bubble. She seems genuinely excited.

Once the rest of my stuff is packed I take one more look around the room. As crappy as things have turned out part of me is still going to miss the lake house. And also miss spending time here with Austin.

Suzie and I grab all of my bags and carry them downstairs and out to her truck. I take once more quick look back at the lake house as I shut the passenger door.

***

“We’re going to make a quick stop,” Suzie says as she pulls into a parking space on the Main Street. Old Town has had its ups and downs but in the past few years it's been completely revitalized. As much as the locals hate to admit it a big part of the downtown business boom can be attributed to the tourist traffic at the Tawnee Mountain Resort.

We both hop out of her truck and I follow Suzie down Main Street. She stops right in front of what used to be an ice cream shop, but has been vacant for a while.

“What do you think about renting this spot for our restaurant?"

I narrow my eyes at her. “What are you not telling me?”

“I already spoke to the landlord. He's willing to give us a really good deal because the place has been vacant so long. It's a little too small for a lunch or dinner place, but I think we could make it work, especially if we do some take-out, with coffee and muffins, or some other baked goods.”

I peek into the window. The place looks abandoned, lonely and empty. Kind of how I feel right now. But it also looks like it has a lot of potential. It’s roomier than I thought it would be and there’s something about the location that feels right.

“I like it,” I declare.

“Good, because I actually already put a deposit down.” She holds up a key to the place.

“Seriously? A deposit. How did you know that I’d like it?”

She’s furrows her brow and gives me a look like I’m from another planet. “You’re kidding, right? I know you haven’t been around much lately, but I still know you better than you know yourself.”

“And you’re sure we can afford this? You talked to the Wilde brothers?”

She nods. “I didn’t just talk with Harley and Jake. I also talked with Cooper and Riley. Cooper even helped me put together a quick business plan. And there’s one more thing…”

My eyes narrow. “What’s that?”

“We also have a potential business partner.”

“Who?” I can’t help but be suspicious after everything I’ve just gone through. 

“Max Elliot,” she states, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“Sam’s brother? Why? How?” To say I’m shocked would be an understatement.

“I ran into Izzy Grant. Believe it or not she’s dating Sam’s brother, Max.”

“I don’t believe it.” We went to high school with Izzy. She was voted Most Likely to Kill Herself.

“I’m serious.”

“Izzy hates men.”

My sister shakes her head. “That’s not exactly true. Izzy hates women too. She’s an equal opportunity hater. I guess she has a soft spot for goofy beach boys.”

I’ve only met Max Elliot a few times. He’s not what you’d expect for a guy in Old Town. He doesn’t drive a pickup truck, wear cowboy boots or even old jeans. He always looks like he was headed for the beach and somehow took a wrong turn and ended up in Old Town. In a weird way it makes sense that he’d end up with Izzy. Even though she’s lived in Old Town her whole life she’s never quite fit in either.

“Why does Max Elliot want to be our partner?” I ask.

“Because he runs a business that takes place at night. We’ll probably only be serving until early afternoon. He needs a place to meet with his customers. And we’ve got space.”

“What kind of customers?” It’s difficult for me to imagine what kind of business someone like Max would run in Old Town. It’s not like a surf shop would do much business in rural New Jersey. We’re nowhere near the shore.”

“He does ghost tours.”

“Seriously? There are ghosts in Old Town?”

Suzie laughs. “I don’t know whether there are ghosts or not. I’ve never given the idea a lot of thought. But there are a lot of old buildings and history here. And apparently there are a lot of guests at the resort who are willing to pay him for whatever it is you do on a ghost tour. I guess he’s been meeting with his groups in Izzy’s antique shop but the tours have gotten so big they’ve outgrown her back room.”

I shrug. “Why not? Maybe the ghost busters will come back the next morning for breakfast.”

Suzie shakes the keys at me. “Want to go inside and look around?”

I grab the keys out of her hand. “Of course I do.”

***

It feels strange to be back at our apartment after getting used to all the space at the lake house. Our place seems even more cramped and meager in comparison.

“Hasn’t changed much,” I comment as I throw my bags on the floor.

“I missed you.” Suzie grabs me and gives me a hug. “I know this isn’t much compared to the mansion you were living in, but I’m glad you’re back.”

“I missed you too.”

“We have a lot to look forward to. And we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us if we want to get that place up and running soon. I quit my job at Tawnee Mountain so I could devote all my time to our restaurant.”

“And it’s not like I have a job, so you know I’ve got the time.”

“I think we can have it up and running in a few weeks.”

I raise an eyebrow. “That’s optimistic.”

“Izzy and Max said they’d help.”

“Still maybe a tad bit optimistic.”

“You’ve got to have goals.”

Before I have a chance to respond there’s a knock on our door. We both look at each other.

“Expecting someone?” I ask.

Suzie shakes her head.

We make our way to the door and I answer it. I’m a little surprised to see Austin standing there with his hands in his pockets looking about as lost as I feel.

“Can I come in?”

I nod and move so he can enter our apartment.

“How did you get our address?” Suzie asks. She’s looking at Austin like he’s just kicked a puppy. We’ve always been protective of each other and she’s definitely not pleased with Austin right now.

“Drew gave it to me. From the contracts Mazzy signed.” Then he looks at me. “Can we talk?”

I nod then turn to Suzie. “Can you give us a few minutes?”

“I’ll be in the bedroom if you need me.” She gives Austin a threatening look which says: If you hurt my sister I’ll hurt you even worse, then exits into the bedroom.

Austin removes a letter from his pocket and shows it to me. “I was going to give you this letter I wrote, but then I thought it would be better to tell you in person.”

“People still write letters?” I tease, trying to release some of the tension in the air.

“If they do I hope they’re better than this one.” He stuffs the letter back in his pocket.

When he takes my hand my first instinct is to pull away but Austin has a tight grip. And the truth be told I like the way he feels. I already miss it.

“I care about you a lot. More than I ever thought I would. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone really. Even more than I care about myself.”

Our eyes meet and there’s more electricity between us than there’s ever been before. It’s like the short time we’ve been apart has intensified our desire for each other tenfold.

“But my family doesn’t want me here. And I’m not sure I belong here. I’m actually not sure where I belong anymore. My plan was always to go to Asia right after the election. But my brother doesn’t need me here anymore. The myth of our picture perfect family has been completely destroyed. And oddly enough Drew is even more popular than ever. He’s got this weird ability to always land on his feet, just like a cat. And this time he’s become an even bigger celebrity. He’s got national talk shows booked until the election. There’s little doubt he’s going to win by a landslide. Even liberals are talking about crossing the party line to support him.”

“That’s great,” I say because I’m not sure what else to say.

He nods. “I never expected to fall in love with you Mazzy. I didn’t even know I was capable of loving another person until I met you. But you deserve a lot better than someone like me. I’m nothing but Drew Graham’s loser brother and that’s probably all that I’ll ever be.”

“So you’re just going to leave me?” The last thing I want is to start to cry, but it’s difficult to blink back all the tears in my eyes.

He shakes his head. “I’m not leaving you, Mazzy. I would never leave you. But I do have to leave.”

I try to make sense of what he’s saying, but my head is spinning out of control. “Leaving Old Town is leaving me. I live here. I always have and probably always will. Suzie and I just leased a place…”

“For your restaurant?” Austin gives me a half smile.

I nod.

“That’s great.” His words don’t match his body language and tone. He sounds disappointed.

“What is it?” I probe.

He shakes his head. “Nothing.”

“It’s obviously not nothing. You sound upset.”

“I thought maybe…it’s stupid.”

“What?” I push.

“I thought maybe you’d come to Asia with me.”

I can’t help but laugh. “Me? Go to Asia? The furthest I’ve ever been from home is New York City and that’s only ninety miles from here.”

“I knew it was a dumb idea.”

I cup his face with my hand and he melts into it for a brief moment. “It wasn’t a dumb idea. I’m thrilled that you would ask. But I can’t go to Asia with you. My big dream is finally going to come true. My sister and I have been talking about our restaurant for years. And now we have it. And I’m just a small town girl. It’s all I’ll ever be. Maybe it’s actually you who deserve more, Austin.”

Now he’s the one blinking back tears and it’s breaking my heart.

“How is it possible to love someone so much but not be able to be with her?”

I’m not sure if Austin is actually asking me a question or just making a statement so I just let it hang there in the air.

“I have to go.” His voice cracks.

I have no doubt he’s on the verge of breaking into tears and I’m sure it’s not something he wants me to see. That’s why I’m not surprised when he gives me a soft kiss and hurries out the door.

I touch my lips. They’re still tingling. I wonder how long I can make that feeling last. As much as I don’t want to let Austin go I know I have to.