Ant Attack (2 page)

“Have fun, boys,” called Mom, already halfway downstairs.

Tarquin began to wander around, poking at their stuff. He prodded their comics and sniffed. “
So
childish.”

Danny mouthed, “
Childish? Spider-Man?
” at Josh and picked up his sword again. Josh frowned at him and shook his head.

“So what do you read then, Tarquin?” said Josh, trying hard to sound friendly.

“Oh—
Classical Music
magazine.
New Scientist
. You wouldn't know them. I don't suppose you know anything about the arts or science.”

“We know a
lot
about science!” burst out Danny. “We've had more science in the last six weeks than you've had in your life, you little—”

“Shut up, Danny,” said Josh. He was worried about what his brother might say next. Maybe he would tell Tarquin that he and Josh had been involved with scientific experiments. They were so amazing that every scientist in the world would explode with astonishment if they knew. Maybe he'd boast that they'd been turned into spiders, then flies, and then grasshoppers over this year. This was after getting tangled up with the brilliant(but quite probably crazy) old lady scientist next door.

Petty Potts seemed like a dotty old dear, but she was in fact a genius. She had created S.W.I.T.C.H. spray, which could turn any creature into a creepy-crawly. She'd made a drinkable version too, and that was even stronger. What's more, if Josh and Danny managed to help her find the missing parts of her REPTOSWITCH formula, she could change them into alligators or giant pythons! It was a fantastic secret. Josh was determined that Danny wouldn't blurt it out to Tarquin.

“Oh—don't be offended,” Tarquin was saying now. He picked up Josh's magnifying glass from the top of their bookcase and turned it over in one hand. “My mother says you can't help it that you're not as clever as me. It's not your fault.”

THWACK! Danny brought down his sword. He aimed for the back of Tarquin's neatly combed head. But Josh caught it with an upswing of his own sword. “
Stop it!
” he mouthed at Danny. Tarquin put down the magnifying glass and moved on.

“We
do
know quite a lot about science—especially nature,” said Josh. “We know about creepy-crawlies. Let's take my magnifying glass outside. I'll show you some in the yard if you like.”

Tarquin shuddered. “Ugh! If you show me a creepy-crawly, I'll stamp on it.”

Josh was shocked. He was a great nature lover. He had adored all kinds of creepy-crawlies long before he'd ever been one. Even Danny, who wasn't fond of them at all, would never deliberately squash one.

“You can't
step
on them! That's just stupid!”

“No—sometimes I look at them first,” smirked Tarquin. “It's quite fun to pull their legs off.”

“It's not fun for
them
!” said Josh, feeling quite hot in the face. He picked up his sword, ready to swing it into Tarquin's head. But this time, Danny grabbed it, raised his eyebrows, and waggled his finger at his brother.

Tarquin opened the door to their toy cupboard. Then he screamed.

Danny and Josh knew to hop quickly out of the way whenever they opened the toy cupboard door. Tarquin was not trained to handle the danger. The avalanche that engulfed him took him completely by surprise.

He squealed loudly. He struggled to sit up in a river of games, books, Legos, blocks, old stuffed animals, trading cards,
Thunderbirds
aircraft,
Thomas the Tank Engine
characters and bits of railroad, assorted guns and light sabers, action figures, and remote control cars. And quite a few cheesy socks. “I'LL GET YOU!” warned the talking Action Man.

“Oops! Toy quake!” said Josh, with a delighted smile. The toy cupboard had done exactly what he and Danny had been longing to do. It had smacked Tarquin off his feet and wiped the smug look off his face.

A couple of water pistols bounced out, and Danny picked them up. “Come on,” he said. “Let's go and play with these outside.” He and Josh ran downstairs without waiting to see if Tarquin was following. They shot through the front door. They ran around the side of the house to fill up their water pistols from the outside faucet.

“Ah! Josh! Danny!” said a voice above them.

They looked up to see Petty Potts leaning over the low brick wall. It separated their two houses. She clutched a large net on a pole. “How are you both since last week's adventure? Any aftereffects?” She glanced around shiftily. Then she peered closely at them through her dusty spectacles.

“We're fine,” said Josh, putting the stopper into his filled-up water pistol. “Danny's not rubbing his legs together anymore. We've both stopped spitting out brown goo and jumping all over the room when we get nervous.”

“Good, good,” smiled Petty, placing a spray bottle on the wall. “I was a bit concerned. But you were
splendid
grasshoppers, I have to say! Still on the lookout for the REPTOSWITCH cubes too, are you? Haven't given up the search, I hope.”

“We're always on the lookout, you know that,” said Josh.

Danny looked warily at the spray bottle. “What's
that
?” he asked.

“Oh—another S.W.I.T.C.H. spray. Very fast acting. Going to try it on some ducks in the pond at the park,” said Petty, airily. She tugged at the net. “I haven't S.W.I.T.C.H.ed any birds yet. I need a nice strong squirty jet to reach them before they fly off.”

“You should be careful!” warned Josh. “One day someone's going to catch you doing it!”

“One day, everyone
will
know about my work!” said Petty. She puffed her chest out and patted her wavy gray hair. “I will have a grand exhibition as soon as it's perfected. After we've found the last three REPTOSWITCH cubes to add to the BUGSWITCH cubes, of course. It'll be much more impressive than you two morphing into grasshoppers. Don't forget, you'll be able to try out being an alligator or an anaconda!” She wiggled her eyebrows for effect, like a rather creepy children's entertainer. “But for now, it has to stay our secret.”

“Joshua! Daniel! Where are you?” came a shrill voice. Uh-oh. Tarquin was in the front yard, looking for them. “Come
out
, you oafs! If I
have
to join in your stupid game, I want a water pistol too! Get
me
one, or I'll tell your mother you're being mean to me!”

Josh and Danny ran down the side passage and into the backyard, giggling.

Petty Potts stared after them for a moment. Then she noticed a large pigeon on her driveway. “Hmmm … you might do,” she murmured. She edged toward it with her net. Needing both hands free, she left the spray bottle on the wall.

Josh and Danny were ready with the water pistols as Tarquin came trotting around the side of the house into the backyard. As soon as he came into view, they let him have both barrels.

“Ooooh! Ooooh! That's not fair!” he whined. Then he ran toward them and squirted them both back.

“Where did you get the water pistol?” spluttered Josh. He wiped away drips from his face, grinning. He was glad that Tarquin was at least joining in.

“It's not a pistol,” sniffed Tarquin. “You didn't give me one, did you? But I got you both back anyway! I just used this spray bottle I found on the wall.”

Josh and Danny stared, aghast, at the bottle in Tarquin's hand. Then at each other.

Tarquin, rubbing water out of his eyes, heard Josh wail, “Oh
no
—not
again
!” But when he opened his eyes, both twins had vanished.