Anything Goes on a Friday Night (27 page)

I went into the kitchen and forced a smile at her mom who was getting out every box of cereal they owned.

“What are you doing, Mrs. Beck?”

She laughed. “Didn’t know what kind you girls would like so I thought what the heck? I’ll get them all out.”

“Why do you own ten boxes of unopened cereal?”

She put her hands on her hips and looked at the boxes. “It’s never a good idea to go shopping when you’re hungry.”

Jane’s mom left the kitchen to go for her morning run. I stared at the cereal. I wasn’t hungry. How could I eat after a night like last night? I felt like I might be sick, so instead of trying to make myself eat, I went and laid on the couch in the living room.

I HAD JUST DOZED
off again when I heard my name. I looked up and saw Jane walking in. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and she held her phone in her hand.

I sat up. “What is it?” I asked in a panic.

“Look!” she yelled, tossing the phone to me.

It was a text from Tryston. It was a photo of him and another girl having sex. I turned off her phone, and my hands started shaking. It was obvious he didn’t send it. The girl did because one of her arms was stretched out to take the photo. I set her phone beside me.

“Remember how I didn’t want to talk about last night?”

She was bawling but nodded.

“Finn was all over some other girl on the dance floor. I have a feeling his night probably ended a lot like Tryston’s.”

My heart ached some more but this time for Jane.

Jane cried harder. I didn’t cry, though. This was my life. It was fucked up, and everyone who came into contact with me seemed to screw up. I was a bad luck charm. It was probably only a matter of time before I lost Jane as a friend too.

Jane sat beside me, and I rubbed her back. I was used to this kind of hurt and disappointment. She wasn’t. I was so angry and hurt for the both of us. School on Monday was going to be hard.

I would have to face Finn.

Without punching him in the face.

S
IXTH PERIOD WAS NEXT,
and I just wanted to skip it. Jane and I both hid out in our cars during lunch, so we didn’t have to see Finn and Tryston. But I had to go to sixth period. There was no way around it, unless, I wanted to be in trouble with the office.

I walked in and sat down in my seat. I got to class early, so I beat all of the other students. I immediately started on homework, even though I couldn’t concentrate. I could smell the familiar scent of Finn’s cologne as he walked past me.

You know what hurts the most about someone you are so close to hurting you? It’s the fact that that person no longer has a place in your life. You were so close to them, you were so involved and used to seeing them all the time, and then just like that, their gone. But you somehow have to learn to still be around them in passing. Thankfully, summer was just around the corner. But there were still a few weeks left of this torture.

I wanted to yell at him, but I was in class and needed to be civil. I turned the page in my math book when I felt his familiar tap on my shoulder. I closed my eyes and took several calming breaths. I shouldn’t have turned around, but out of habit, I did.

I glared evilly at him.

He looked so hurt, and his eyes had dark circles under them.

“I’ve been a fucking wreck since Friday night, Ellie.”

“Good. You deserve to die and rot in hell with Channing and Katie.”

I went to turn back around, but he grabbed my hand. Tears filled his eyes. It was like Channing all over again.

“I never wanted to hurt you. I went out for a few drinks with Tryston, and it—”

“Mr. Kerr and Ms. Johnson, this isn’t the time or place to work out your teenybopper drama. Save it for later,” the teacher stated firmly.

I stared at Finn until he let go of my hand. I turned back around in my seat and stared at my math book. A solitary tear hit the page. I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to, but I’d let Finn explain later. Despite myself I wanted to know. I needed to know what happened. After he finished, I’d have my say, and we’d be officially done.

I WAITED FOR FINN
by his truck after school. I didn’t tell him I’d be there, though. When I saw him walking over, I straightened up a bit. He was digging in his backpack for his truck keys. Once he found them, he looked up, saw me, and stopped walking. When the shock wore off, he continued toward me and his truck.

He set his backpack in the back and leaned against the old thing. “Are you going to let me explain, or are you here to yell at me?”

“I don’t have the energy to yell. Just explain. I want to know what happened.” My tone was so bitter and cold.

Finn was hurting. He was on the verge of crying, and I was glad. It made me happy to know he was in pain, just like he caused me.

“Whatever I drank that night was laced with something. I won’t put all the blame on that, because I’m at fault. I should’ve never left to go drink with Tryston and the guys. The other guys we were with brought girls from out-of-town. They thought it’d be funny to lace all of our drinks with ecstasy or something, which I found out Saturday. Ellie, I’d never in a million years ever do anything like I did Friday night if I were in my right mind. I’d never hurt you like that. You’re my best friend, and I’m falling in love with you.” Tears fell down his cheeks.

“Don’t you dare say that to me!”

My own tears started to fall. Hearing him say he was falling in love with me crushed me because I was falling in love with him too. I thought I loved Channing, but I knew that it wasn’t the real forever kind because of the way I felt for Finn. I had never felt like that for anyone. And he’d broken my heart. He could blame it on drugs and alcohol all he wanted to, but that didn’t make it okay or hurt any less.

He cupped my face gently in his hands and cried. “Please, Ellie,” his voice broke, and his thumbs moved across my cheeks to wipe the tears. “I can’t lose you,” he whispered through his own tears.

I started bawling. I slapped his hands away from me, screamed, and shook my head. I pointed a shaky finger at him. “You know all I’ve been through, Finn! And you ditched me to go drink with your friends! You did this to us! You should’ve just walked away when you saw those other girls there! You should’ve just been with me! It was our night! How dare you ruin it!”

I couldn’t talk anymore. We were causing a scene. I needed to calm down. I needed to get away from him.

I went to my car, despite Finn begging me not to, and drove home. I called into work. I just didn’t have the energy to go in and fake being happy for the customers. I was so thankful that Dad and Nancy weren’t home. I needed the alone time to just think about my life. I needed to figure out what to do next. I wanted so badly to work out things with Finn instead of letting him go. I wanted so badly to forgive him, but I just didn’t know how. All I knew was getting hurt and saying fuck it. I didn’t want to deal with it or make it work out of fear that everything would just blow up in my face all over again. I was burnt out on disappointment.

I LOOKED AT JANE.
We both had tubs of ice cream in our laps. I had rocky road, and she had plain ol’ vanilla. As cliché as it was for two heartbroken girls to be drowning their sorrows in ice cream and cute boys on TV, it worked. It made things hurt a little less.

“Are you going to forgive Tryston?” I asked her.

She laughed. “Hell no! I decided that I don’t need a boyfriend right now. I need to go to college and meet new guys. Older ones.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me.

I laughed. “That does sound like fun.”

“You don’t sound convinced.” She shoved another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth.

“I love him, Jane.”

“But you loved Channing too, and you got over him.”

I set my ice cream beside me, leaned back against my pillows, and huffed.

“Yeah, but after falling for Finn, I realized that what Channing and I had wasn’t as real as things are with Finn. I cared for Channing, a lot, but this is completely different. Losing Finn isn’t just losing a boyfriend; I’m also losing a best friend. What I feel for Finn, I feel deep in my bones. I know that sounds stupid, but it’s true. This is killing me.”

“Then give him a chance to explain without all of the crying and begging. Just have a real conversation with him about it. I know it’s killing him not to talk to you.”

I thought about it and shrugged. “I don’t know. And are you sure you don’t want to work on things with Tryston?”

“Positive! I’m actually excited about meeting new people. Things got so intense and so fast between us that I didn’t really think. I just dove right in. I like the freedom now that I have the room to breathe.”

We didn’t say anything else. We watched
The Breakfast Club
, and Jane ended up falling asleep before it was over. I thought about texting Finn, but I kept talking myself out of it.

I turned off the TV and cleaned up Jane’s and my mess. I climbed into bed and stared at the ceiling. I wasn’t sure of much right now, or if I’d ever talk to Finn again, but I was more than sure that I refused to let people stomp all over my heart anymore.