As I Close My Eyes (11 page)

“
You mean, he owns it?” asked Shannon.

“
Yup. And he was just as perfect as I remembered.”

“
Wait! You went to The Falls by yourself in search of a man you’ve never even met?” Eric shook his head and threw his hands in the air judgementally.

“
I know. It’s completely uncharacteristic of me, but listen. We talked for a bit and then he asked me to come back to the store after it was closed and have dinner with him.”

“
No way!” shouted Shannon.

“
Nothing like this ever happens to me. His name is Ben and I think we have a really amazing connection. I got ready back at the cabin, then met him at his bookstore. When I got there, we were both really hungry so he went across the street to grab us a pizza. While I waited for him, I started wandering around the store. His place is incredible. It’s got all of these rare books. He studied in England and he’s sooo intelligent and handsome and funny.”

“
I can’t believe he asked you out on a date right away like that,” said Shannon.

“
Why? You think you’re the only girl who can get dates?” I was annoyed with her insinuation that I couldn’t get anyone to ever ask me out.

“
No. No, of course not. That’s not what I meant,” Shannon replied defensively.

“
Anyway, it was perfect. We talked for hours. Then he picked me up the next morning and took me to Biscotti - this little restaurant just outside of Tallulah. I gave him my number, so we’ll see if he calls me.”

“
Holy shit, Dani, that’s awesome,” shouted Shannon, making up for her earlier comment.

“
I know, it’s fabulous, but I’m not getting my hopes up. It was just a really wonderful twenty-four hours and who knows? I could have scared him off since I was practically stalking him.”

“
Got any more chocolate?” asked Eric as he rooted around in the grocery bags.

“
I don’t know,” I replied, a bit pissed off at Eric’s apparent lack of interest. “Seriously, all you have to ask me is if I have any chocolate? Sometimes you can be so insensitive.”

“
I just don’t want you to get hurt. Ben sounds really great, but you don’t even know the guy.”

Just as Eric finished his lecture, my cell phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize.

“
Oh my God ... that’s Ben,” said Shannon as she leapt off of the tree stump she had been sitting on. She put her head next to mine so she could hear the voice on the other end.

“
Hello,” I said.

“
Hey. Dani?”

“
Yeah.”

“
It’s Ben.”

“
Oh, hey, Ben,” I put extra emphasis on the word Ben while my eyes darted around to Shannon, then Eric, and finally Brad.

“
So, it’s probably a little quick for me to call you and you probably think I’m pathetic, but I’d love to see you again. Would you want to go out to dinner with me sometime this week?”

“
Sure, when?”

“
Uh, how about Wednesday? I could meet you at six-thirty somewhere between Sugar Hill and Tallulah after the bookstore closes. I know this great little seafood place just off Route52.”

“
Okay, just text me with the name of the restaurant and I’ll meet you there.”

“
Great. Can’t wait to see you again.”

“
Me too,” I replied with the biggest smile on my face. “Oh, and I'm really glad you called.”

"See you on Wednesday, Danielle."

We hung up and I started dancing around the fire in circles. I realized it was adolescent, but I couldn’t help myself. My friends stared, looking happy for me, but mostly surprised at how interested Ben was in me.

Hours of conversation passed with small interjections from me. I faded in and out of the chatter about our plans for the summer. It dawned on me that I never got the chance to finish what Eric and I talked about the other night when he told me he wanted to transfer to another school.

It must have been after midnight before we all turned into our sleeping bags. Eric and I were paired up as usual, but I didn’t mind.

We fell asleep to the sounds of firewood crackling while the last of the flames dimmed to red-hot coals at the bottom. It was a sound that would put me to sleep in minutes.

*  *  *

“
Where have you been?” asked Robert.

I could hear their conversation from the top of the staircase as I slowly made my way down with Rebecca close behind.

“
I was helping a few people put out fires that started in their houses. It was everywhere. We couldn’t keep up. I worked straight through the night,” replied John.

As I stepped down, one level at a time, I could see that John was shorter than Robert, but beefier, with graying hair and a receding hairline. His buttoned shirt was halfway in his pants and halfway out. Sweat stains covered it and turned the once white top into an off-white mess. A waft of smoke filled the house as he stepped further into the foyer.

The closer I got to John, the more I realized I recognized him, too. He wasn’t as easy to pinpoint as the connection between Robert and Ben, but I knew he was someone I had once known. It was in the shape of his eyes and the tone of his voice.

“
Oh, Caroline ... Rebecca ... John’s fine. He’s fine,” said Robert in a relieved voice as he motioned all of us towards John so we could give him a big group hug.

“
Thank God,” said Rebecca.

My mother flew by us down the stairs and practically knocked John over when she tackled him, thankful he was okay.

“
You gave us quite the scare,” she said.

“
It was one hell of a night, that’s for sure.”

Tears began to well up in my eyes as I thought about the possibility of his demise. I had known him all my life. Quick pictures came to me of Caroline and John playing jacks in the front of the house that was now cinders. I could hear their laughter. I was really beginning to feel her emotions. She was becoming a greater part of me.

The day progressed with all of the townspeople helping each other in an effort to clean up from the disaster. We learned earlier in the day that the owner of the hotel, who was believed to have ignited the fire, hopped on a train out of town right before it began. Robert thought that was a bit curious since there were rumors of the hotel’s financial instability.

Robert and I caught each other’s eyes a few times throughout the day as we walked along ash-covered streets. I began to feel something for this man in my dreams. I went back and forth between loving him and pushing away from my emotions towards this stranger. It was as though Caroline and I were creating an internal struggle between ourselves and our personal attachments to Robert.

I walked next to John and suddenly felt Robert scoop me up from behind. It happened so fast that I didn’t have time to react. He wrapped his dirty arms around my waist. I flew in a circle off the ground and turned to meet him face-to-face. He slowly set me down, letting his strong fingers glide up my body and stopping just below my breasts.

In a moment, he kissed me. And I kissed back.

Chapter 10

When I woke up the next morning, Eric wasn’t in the tent. I could see from the mesh window in this now sweltering hot dome that Shannon and Brad were not moving around yet. I peeked my head out of the small opening, but didn’t see him.

I threw on my trusty flip-flops and began a walk to find him. I didn’t want to shout his name because I wasn’t sure what time it was. Plus, I really wanted to track him down silently without waking anyone else so I could get to the bottom of this whole Northeastern business. It looked as though the sun had just risen over the horizon. It was way too early to be awake.

I walked about a half-mile into the woods before I found him. A small creek graced the edge of our property where Eric sat tossing small pebbles into the water.

“
What are you doing out here?” I asked Eric as I approached cautiously.

“
Not much. Just thinking, I guess.”

“
About what? Boston?”

“
No. About you.”

“
Why?”

“
Because I’m worried about you. You’re acting strange lately. I don’t understand why you would run off for a weekend in search of someone you’ve never met.”

“
I’m happy. Why aren’t you okay with that?”

“
Like I said,” he began harshly. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt. You’re like a sister to me.”

“
Thanks for being concerned, but I’ll be alright. I’m a big girl. Besides, I never get to go on dates. This is good for me.” I sat down beside him and pulled his chin towards mine.

“
I got into Northeastern. I leave in August.” I pushed his face away.

We didn’t have much to say to one another after that. What was I going to do without him? He had been my crutch for the two years since Justin was gone and now I’d have to deal with Shannon and Brad on my own. Sophomore year at Gainesville wasn’t going to be the same without Eric’s support. I’d miss our Sundays sitting on the lawn behind the library pretending to study when we were really just critiquing every student who passed by. No one was safe when we had a test coming up or a term paper that needed to be researched.

“
How can you leave Gainesville when you just started?” I asked, staring hopelessly at the dirt on the ground.

“
I just want to be somewhere else,” Eric replied, still throwing small stones into the creek.

Something more was going on with him and I would figure it out, but not now. This required hours of conversation and we didn’t have that kind of time.

We walked back in silence and arrived at the campsite to Brad and Shannon cleaning up the S’mores disaster. The four of us began to tear down the tents when we heard Mama’s voice coming from the front porch.

“
Breakfast is ready,” yelled Mama, always the perfect hostess.

Eric, Shannon, and Brad left after enjoying scrambled eggs and bacon.

The next few days were the same as usual - Dairy Queen, movies with Mama and Bill, but no dreams about Robert.

Wednesday couldn’t come soon enough, and that morning I was happier than ever. I skipped around the house, humming various songs. Mama and Bill started to get curious, but I told them I just loved being home so much, which was enough to stop any questioning.