Atonement (22 page)

“Tate, did you do this? Did you set this all up?” I was grinning from ear to ear, but with a little bit of a stupefied expression.

“Mmmm, I sure did Reese. I wanted to get you alone, somewhere really alone, and talk. I think we owe that to each other don’t you? We have a lot of great memories of when we first started dating and I wanted to take us back to that time.” Aww, that was adorable. I was crushing hard…just like back in high school with Tate.

“Tate, this is fantastic. Come on, I want to snuggle with you in front of that cozy fire.” This time I was pulling him quickly towards our spot.

After we got situated (me sitting in Tate’s lap on top of the quilt, directly in front of the fire), Tate turned his iPod music on. He played one of the first songs we ever slow danced to – Lady Antebellum, ‘Need You Now’. I immediately got tears in my eyes.

“Do you remember this Reese?” I shook my head yes, I knew I couldn’t talk right then, my voice would have cracked. He continued “We danced to this at the Civinette’s dance…our first real date. I had known you for years, but it wasn’t until I saw you one day, sitting on the brick stairs of the school in deep thought, all alone, that I knew I had to get to know you…I knew then I had to make you mine Reese.” I glanced back at Tate with a smile on my face.” I had caught a glimpse of your profile as I was walking by. Your perfect nose, chin, hair,” He stroked the side of my cheek. I let out a soft sigh. “You were leaning forward, with your elbow on your knee and your
clinched fist holding your chin up, looking like your puppy had just died. I ran up the stairs and pretended to trip right beside of you. It snapped you back to reality and out of your deep thoughts. After making sure I was okay, you cracked up laughing.”

“That was pretend?” I whined.

“Shhh, let me tell my story.” I chuckled, he was acting so serious.

“Anyway…I sat down beside of you and asked you to the dance. You stared at me for a little while, like I was crazy, then after entirely too much thought,” Tate tickled me in his lap, “you said yes.”

“You know now why I was in such deep thought. It was only two months after Carter left, and worse, it was two months after my date rape. I was a different person then.” I said very somberly.

“I know that now Reese.” He hugged me tight, and let out a long shaky breath. “I had no idea then of course. That was one of the longest months of my life. I couldn’t wait to take you to that dance. I knew you had broken up with Carter. That I did know, and I was determined to make you forget him.”

“It took some time, but you did just that Tate.” I said confidently.

“Yeah, that night of the dance, my first time smelling your flowery scent, stroking your long, soft hair, and feeling your body pressed up to mine was…well it was the end for me. I knew right then, that you were my dream girl. In fact, you don’t know this, but that’s what my friends called you…’My dream girl’. They thought you were unattainable, but I knew time would win you for me.” I could feel Tate smiling behind
me. Then I felt him tense up a bit, “Of course I had no idea what you had been through. I never knew just how delicate you really were then Reese. Your strength still amazes me.”

“Tate, you were such a gentleman. I couldn’t believe how patient you were with me, even without knowing my traumatic history.” I had always been floored by that. Most guys would have given up trying to break through my hard exterior at that time in my life. The wall I had built around my emotions was too strong and definitely too firm. Only Tate was able to make it pliable. Thank goodness. “Of course, you had just come down off of the crazy horse called Lisa too. Who knew what baggage we had brought to our relationship in the beginning?”

“Yeah, it was some messed up shit…for both of us. Now, back to my story…” He squeezed my waist. I was so warm and cozy sitting with Tate, still sipping on my latte. “I wanted to spend every minute with you. I couldn’t believe how often you came to my practices and then my games. You were amazing Reese. I loved watching you, and spending time with you, although I was definitely the jealous fool…you were right. By the way, I’m still talking with your counselor at least every two weeks. I started out with bi-weekly, in-person sessions, and then I was able to do phone calls. I was traveling so much to California. Face to face was too hard to schedule. I didn’t see how much my lack of faith in you was being demonstrated in my actions. I was too damn jealous Reese. I’m sorry. I truly am. It’s hard for me though. I was worried for your safety with other guys, but mostly I was worried they would want you…and maybe a part of you would want them back. I know, crazy, but it was true.”

I knew he had told me before that he was seeing my counselor, Stella, but I wasn’t sure he had kept it up, or what it was really for. But learning it was for his jealousy, now that is refreshing, I thought. “Tate, I’m so proud of you. I had no idea you would stick with it, much less even admit it was an issue.” I turned around halfway, locking eyes with him. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me; help me continue to fix it Reese. I need you to call me out when you see it happening, okay?” I nodded. No problem there. I would be
happy
to do that.

“Anyhow, the story…So when you really started being able to open up to me, and really fall for me, I was beside myself with happiness. I loved, loved, loved our first deep kiss outside of Vino’s. That was the icing on the cake to all of the other times we had learned so much about each other, leading up to our, um, intimacy.” I sucked in a deep breath, my heart rate changed at that word.

Tate checked his watch again. “Tate, why do you keep doing that? Why do you keep checking the time? Are you going to be late for something? Someone?” I suddenly became paranoid. Maybe I needed to see Stella myself for jealousy.

“Um, of course not. No real reason. I know we’re planning to go skating, and I kind of wanted to be there around 12:30 p.m. that’s all. I just thought that sounded like a good time to start our session.”

“Ookaay,” I drug out the word with a little question to my voice. “I think that time sounds… fine.”

“Good.” He said setting me off of his lap. Standing up, he pulled me up with him. “Will you dance with me Reese?” He
had a slow grin on his face, and a sparkle in the hazel abyss of his eyes.

“I would be happy to Tate.” We danced to ‘It’s Your Love’ by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.

“You are beautiful Reese. I don’t think I’ve told you that enough.” Tate’s embrace was so strong and muscular, but soft and loving all in one.

“Tate, I…”

“No Reese. I know what you’re going to say, but it’s true, you are…beautiful. I have missed you so much. I wanted to make you remember us. How we fell in love, and why we were so good together. I love you Reese. I…just wanted you to know, that I always will…no matter what…okay?” I tilted my head to the side, with a contemplative expression. Why did this suddenly feel like a break up line?

“Tate, are you getting ready to give me a ‘but’? Because I feel like one’s coming.” I said with great apprehension.

He laughed. He actually laughed. “No Reese, absolutely not.
But
, I am ready to give you this.” Bending down he kissed me. His lips gently pressed to mine, slightly parted. They felt like velvet. He pulled in first my top lip, then my bottom lip into his expertly made mouth. I was trembling. His cologne, the feel of his warmth, the scent of his masculinity, the crackling of the fire, I was…well, I was melting, and in an amazing way. I could feel him shaking beneath our touch.

“Reese,” Tate said through our kisses. “We better get going. We should go…ice skating now.”

“Now?” I said through kisses. What in the world. He gets me all worked up and then needs to get us there now? “Well,
okay, I guess?” There was a small smile on his face. I couldn’t quite make out his expression.

Tate scooped up snow and threw it all over the embers, suffocating the fire. Then, he led me to his truck to leave. Before he got in, he did that phone thing again. Was he texting? Reading a text? What in the heck was he doing? When he got back in, his defenses were up. He seemed uptight and worried. Great…here we go again.

My instinct was to ignore him, and wait for him to tell me, all the while I would worry and get angry. But, I was opting for communication… “Tate, why do you keep doing that? You look at your phone, spend time texting, reading, I don’t know what, and then you’re suddenly acting like a different person. You become upset, sad, worried?”

“Um, I didn’t know…I mean it’s nothing really. I’m sorry if I seem that way.” Then he turned to face me and said, “I don’t mean to be anything but over-the-top happy right now. I’m sorry.” Leaning over he gave me a soft, lingering easy kiss. Okay, how was I to argue with that?

ate still seemed a little distant, but I decided to let it go, for now. The ice skating rink was extremely crowded today. I guess everybody had the same idea of it being more seasonal to be on the ice on Christmas Eve. They had it decorated so beautifully with white lights everywhere, and red and green decorations from every hard surface. They were selling hot chocolate and treats right beside of where you get your skates. Of course they had Christmas music playing through the loud speakers. It was magical. I felt like a kid again. This was one of the reasons I loved Penderton so much. The town managers went the extra mile to keep the quaintness in our little town. People here still loved traditions and family and I loved that as well.

Tate was holding my hand, and staring at me like he wanted to tell me something. But then he tugged me out on the skating rink. “Let’s get warmed up,” he smiled. “I want to see how hard you fall on your ass.” He grinned, and I smacked at him playfully. He turned to face me, skating backwards like a natural. How does he do that? I knew he hadn’t skated in years, and no way California had ice skating.

We spent about twenty minutes going around slowly before I felt like I could let go of the railing for longer periods. Then someone came over the loud speaker and asked everyone to give the ice a break so they could scrape it. I thought, that was a little wacky. They should do that sort of thing before it opens or late at night. Anyway, we all scooted off and Tate found me a seat, pretty much right outside the main entrance to the rink.

“Hey, I’ll be right back, okay?” Tate said.

I was re-tying my laces when I looked out onto the rink. I was expecting to see the ice scraping equipment already doing its thing. Instead, blinking twice I saw Elle, Maura, Chloe, Finn, my parents and Tate’s parents stepping onto the ice from the other smaller entrance across the way. What in the…I had to have the most ridiculous, dumb look on my face. My mouth was left hanging open in complete confusion. What was happening? They were all smiling and trying to keep from falling. Even my dad had on skates. I chuckled, until I heard the music change, and the crowd seemed to hush. ‘Unforgettable’ by Nat King Cole began playing. Then, like a movie, my family and friends parted in the middle, and Tate came skating through with a single rose in his hand. He stopped short right in front of me. Looking red faced, and…and very nervous, he still managed to have a small smile on his face. My heart was racing. This couldn’t be what I thought it might be, could it be?

“Reese, will you dance, I mean ‘skate-dance’ with me?” He asked holding his hand out with a slight, cute smirk on his face. I could tell his breathing was hard, and the pulse in his neck was beating wildly.

“Tate, what is this? What’s going on?” I stood stepping closer to him.

“I’m taking a chance Reese. Just follow my lead.” Now I was really nervous, and really unsure of what was about to happen. He pulled me to the middle, and wrapped his arms around my waist, placing his face in the crook of my neck. Whispering he said, “Reese, I want you to know that I missed you too much these last few months…I missed you so much I ached for you daily. I…I don’t want to ever worry, or wonder about you, about us again Reese. I want to know that wherever you are, I’ll be there too…forever.” Then he dropped down on one knee, and reaching into his pocket he produced the most gorgeous ring I think I had ever seen. It was platinum, and filigree. It looked to be about two carats and antique. It was breathtaking.