ATONEMENT (38 page)

The men entered the warm confines of the quiet estate. The women were sleeping
, undoubtedly from the lingering effects of wine and last night’s theatre.

Alfonzo’s feet followed
the trio. His
head
blazed
at Giuseppe
’s comment, particularly the suggestion
he
punish
Selange
by keeping
the kids. No matter what she’d done he could never hurt his children out of spite. Somewhere,
cloaked in the
pain
remained a burning
love for his
wife;
he only
had to find it.

This morning he
spotted Selange
balled
on the sofa
in a fetal position
. She still wore the
pretty dress.
P
uffiness
surrounded
her eyes and
he
wondered if she
’d
cried herself to sleep. She appeared so fragile there, a forlorn and lonely figure. It should have stirred something in his heart other than indifference
. He
’d gone back
upstairs,
retrieved a
blanket and covered her
like he would
if she were
Allie
. In
slumber
she clutched at its
fuzzy
edges, murmuring his name
then
whimpered.
Yet, he felt nothing.

Maybe, one day the overpowering force of what they shared and the promises spoken would return.
Once, Selange
was a
ll
he
lived for,
presently
he was confused and devastated. The children were his focus, a bright light out of the crazed thoughts in his brain. Last night he was hell bent on murder; this morning he understood it was the raging of a desolate and betrayed heart.

He needed time to collect the broken pieces and puzzle himself back together
. Maybe, he’d find the missing piece he sought; maybe he’d survive without her; maybe he
could forgive her –but maybe wasn’t today. Selange was dead in his mind and he died with her. S
adly
,
love
had yet to reveal itself.

                             
CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Sal and Allie were ecstatic to see their mom when they woke and like children talked about everything they did during her absence. Allie’s articulation improved but over-all her toddler sentences were as expected, short.

Selange’s
belongings
were
transferred to the guest
house
last night and she was grateful to be away from the stench of marijuana and with her family. She hadn’t seen Alfonzo all day and tried to hide her disappointment. She cloaked her agony the best she could but by the sympathetic looks from Domingo’s wife Teresa, she figured everybody learned of her disgrace and those who didn’t were certain to. Last night, Alfonzo humiliated her in front of everyone. It was the response of the women which
was the most shocking of all. They came to her defense without hesitation. They actually put themselves in harm’s way to do it. Although, she felt emotionally drained, she gained a newfound respect for this new sisterhood. Perhaps she had judged them too harshly, after-all.

They were invited to the main house for lunch and Maria clucked her tongue disapprovingly but went along. She would not let her grandchildren out of her sight around
the people she deemed corrupt, even the women. Her mouth stayed quiet most of the elaborate luncheon except when she reminded Sal to keep his elbows off the table. Alfonzo’s mother also noticed the nervous glances at her daughter-in-law and wondered what was amiss. What did she not know?

Selange picked her fork in the food, eating to be polite and no other reason. She didn’t want to eat, but Nico’s words rang in her head and she listened to his voice, imagining him across the table watching to make sure she did. She inhaled trying to hold down the tears, wondering if he was okay, h
oping Alfonzo wasn’t so beyond reason he’d lack mercy. Nico had been his guardian, friend and loyal, that is until she
ruined it!

She suddenly excused herself and hurried to the bathroom then vomited the food right into the toilet. Time elongated as she hovered there feeling nauseous and weak, afraid to move. Soon it passed and she washed her mouth and face in the sink, splashing cold water on her eyes to hide evidence of her tears. When she returned to the room, no one commented on her absence, in fact her newfound friends chatted happily, pretending they knew nothing of her shame.

Sophie invited the
Diaz family to
accompany her and
Amelda
into the city for a tour of beautiful Milan. “We will have dinner
there and the children can visit the beautiful parks.”

Maria initially declined, however Sophie’s infectious charm and insistence
were no match for the pious woman and she caved. “Okay, we’ll go.”

“Sophie winked conspiratorially at Selange, then later when they were leaving whispered, “Nico is fine, you rest,” then planted a lipstick kiss on each cheek, “
umwah
…
umwah
!”

                             
       
***

Selange took Sophie’s advice. The silence of the place lulled her to sleep. How long she rested before the sound of her cell rang was undetermined until she spied the hour on the digital clock sitting on the bureau. She napped for three hours. If the irritating noise hadn’t
got into her dreams she would have slept for much longer. She took hold of it, “Um, yes.”

“How are you?”

Her eyes widened and her heart accelerated. Nico. Oh God, he was okay. Sophie
, b
less the clever woman. “Nico, are you alright. Did you get hurt, where are you?”

“I’ve taken far worse. I’m good, don’t worry about me. I warned you about the stress. From what I hear you’re regressing. Not eating…vomiting…come on Selange…I know it’s tough but soldier up woman, for me.”

A sharp intake of breath, a quiver to the mouth and a pathetic, “I can’t,” followed. “I can’t do it anymore
. He hates me Nico…the way he looked at me…so disgusted…I didn’t tell him about the baby…what’s the point…
why bother
anymore?”

Nico didn’t like the
defeatist tone
and redirect
ed
it, “The point is you’re a wonderful woman, an outstanding mom and this kid…heck…it’s the luckiest child in the world to get you
r
love.”

“I’m tired…I don’t have the fight in me anymore…”

“Selange, think about Sal and Allie. Think about how you kicked ass
when they were threatened…find that fire.”
When she did
n’t
answer he asked
quietly
, “What can I do, tell me?”

“I need to see you.”

A long silence, then, “In twenty minutes, exactly, go to the basement. There
’s
a green door
. It’s
the electrical room. Go in there and look for a
narrow dark spacing between two large beams at the southern end of the wall. You should be able to fit through upright and slide against it, palms outstretched to the wall in front of you. You’re about five six, so you’ll feel a slight indention around your waistline on the wall halfway in. Stick a finger in and push the button. The sound you hear will be a small door opening
at your knees. Stoop down and follow the passage to the end. I’ll be on the other side.”

She memorized his instructions then said, “Okay.”

“Leave a note in case your family returns before you get back saying you’re taking a stroll in the gardens. Leave it on the table.”

She did everything he said, put on comfortable shoes, grabbed a wool coat and rushed to the basement.

It was just as Nico described, except the door slid down into the floor and the space was cramped and dark. She had to squeeze in then jump down and walk in a crouched
position. His estimated time was how long it took for her to reach the end of the darkened tunnel minus five minutes. She pushed on the wall in front of her and it gave
with several attempts.
She received a shower of d
ust
and light which blinded her when it finally flew open.

There was a chuckle and a hand reached down to help her out of a ditch. She slapped the cloud of sediment from her hair and face
. He used his handkerchief to clean it better,
“
There, can you see now?”

Selange opened her eyes and realized where she was. They were beyond the property’s wall on the side of the hill hidden by dense trees. He slid a granite slab over the opening, some broken tree limbs then took her hand and led her down to where a dusty car waited.

“Where’s the Mercedes?” She asked.

Nico grinned, “Do you really want to stand out?”

The wisdom of his choice became clear. Yes, this car camouflaged with the landscape. The shiny black Mercedes
di
d not.
She said nothing else.

As Nico drove he kept glancing at her. She looked lost.
“Hey, inside your head again?”

“I guess.”

“Talk to me, get it out.”

“He’s not going to forgive me. I see it. We’re done.”

“The wound is fresh. You won’t know until it heals.”

“How long…how long do I wait, huh?”

“That’s up to you.”

They were curving through
the countryside, racing down a familiar route, passing very few cars before going through rows of trees and shrubbery to his hide-away.
Thinking only brought sorrow. Sad songs were playing in surround sound in her skull. They were a combination of classics and modern melodies. Her marriage was over and all she heard were sad goddamn songs.

Soon, t
hey were inside the
secluded villa, standing in the foyer
and he
hung their coats in the closet. He turned around when done and tenderly flicked more dust from her hair, “Better.”

She nodded
and reached to Nico in pain. The song
in her head played, one of endings and indecision. She skipped along with the words,
it
was appropriate
and
the lyrics resonat
ed
in her soul
.
Trey
Songz
, ‘Heart
Attack
.
’