Average Joe and the Extraordinaires (14 page)

“I’m
getting too old for this, Grandpa.  It’s embarrassing, man.”

“Ain’t
nothin’ embarrassing about this.  Kids should be grateful that us old folks
lived so you could be here.  This shows yer grateful.”

“Whatever,
Grandpa.”

The
camera cut again to what looked to be a little Fleez running with other little
kids, all of them with sticks in their hands striking out at each other.  Big
Fleez could be seen in the background, so the little version must’ve been his
brother.

"In
youth, the members of this family engage in barbaric activities as training for
their future lives of scavenging.  This young one here is learning the art of
pain. Watch as he bashes other kids and claims leadership of the wild
pack."

A little
girl splashed in the mud and made mud houses.

"This
one is the smallest of the pack and learning ways of hut building for when she
finds some other little savage to marry someday.”

The next
shot was one of Fleez asleep in one of the abandoned cars.

Night
time is almost upon us, and this one must seek shelter before it gets cold.  He
burrows his way into the body of this car, surely feasting on cold hot dogs and
squirrel.  He may be safe here for the night."

Movie
Fleez started snoring so loudly that he almost drowned out Mod’s commentary as
the camera approached him.  He let out a loud snort when the camera came too
close.

"This
one is a near adult savage and is being groomed to lead the pack.  He knows the
ways of the grease monkey and can open up a can of pork n’ beans like no one
else. Oh no, here comes the mama savage!"

A large
woman came out of the house and began calling Fleez from the porch of the large
but worn house.

“Bartholomew! 
Bartholomew!  I know your ‘sleep over there, Bartholomew!”

“What do
you want, Momma?”

“You ain’t
use none of that foot fungus medication yet.  I ain’t spend fifty dollars on
that you so can ignore it.  Next time you step inside of my house you better
use that dang medication or you ain’t comin’ in.”

“Alright,
go away, Momma.”

Finally,
one of the lunch ladies cut the lights back on and Mr. Serano showed up, found
the projector and unplugged it.  That didn’t stop the laughs though.  There
were about as many as when Team Badd Azz had done pukeball.  Fleez was still as
stone and Mod stood there looking into the crowd, smirking.  He took a bow and
then another in front of his audience.  Joe had even seen Liza laughing over in
her seat.  Joe didn’t laugh.  The situation was still too tense for his liking.

Mod:
“Thank you, thank you!  I’ll be here all day, folks!  Just call me Mod the Sod,
your friendly neighborhood fool.”

Not only
had he embarrassed them, he was also taking their shtick.  Mod was playing with
fire.  Dozz was pissed, but Fleez kept his cool and grinned at Mod.  It wasn’t
his usual triumphant grin, but a more sedated one.

Fleez:
“That was well played, Mod, and worthy of my respect.”

Mod gave
him a lazy salute.

Mod:
“Thank you.”

Fleez:
“It was an inspired performance that’s for sure, only…”

Silence. 
Fleez laughed, but he was the only one.

Fleez:
“Only … that was my family that you were making fun of, and nobody makes fun of
them but me.”

Joe
hadn’t noticed until now how close Fleez had gotten to Mod.  He was close
enough to spit on Mod, and that’s what he did, first.  Then he grabbed him,
lifted him, and slammed him to the ground.  Everyone around them stood up to
see the carnage, and obscured Joe’s view.  Joe tried to make his way through
the crowd, but there were so many people in his way that it was like fighting
against a tide.  When he finally reached the front, he saw Mod being mauled by
the much bigger Fleez.  Most of Fleez’s blows were wild and inaccurate though,
and missed Mod as he covered his head and withdrew into his arms.  The few
blows that got through Mod’s guard looked horrifically painful.

Joe had
seen enough, and Fleez had gotten away with enough.  He took his necklace off
and put it on the table to avoid being choked by it.  He clawed his way through
the last few folks that were in his path and then dived into Fleez with as much
force as he could muster, which brought forth memories of his days playing JV
Football.  Both he and Fleez went to the ground hard and landed a few feet away
from Mod.  Joe, on top, threw a wild punch at Fleez, which was deflected. 
Fleez grabbed the front of Joe’s shirt and tried to wrest him down, but Joe
pushed away and managed to hit Fleez in the face.  Fleez recoiled and crawled
from under Joe, and both boys got to their feet.  Joe lunged at Fleez again and
crashed into him.  Both stayed on their toes and began to tussle, before Fleez
slammed Joe to the ground and started hitting him in the chest and face.  Mr.
Serano and Mr. Caltabaldi showed up from seemingly nowhere and struggled and
finally managed to pull the boys apart.  It was a mercy, and Joe counted
himself lucky not to have broken anything.  At the end of it all, Fleez, Joe,
and Mod were all bruised and bloody, and the lunch room had indeed gotten a
show.

Chapter
26

Hero?

Both Joe
and Mod sat in the office waiting for the principal to get back from assessing
the situation in the lunch room.  They were both separated from Fleez to avoid
any further fighting and were both glad for that.  He had done a number on the
both of them, leaving them bruised and bloody.  Joe was bleeding from his nose
and from his knuckles from when he’d missed a punch at Fleez and hit the floor
instead.  His chest and sides were bruised and aching as well.  Even so, his
injuries were small compared to Mod’s.  Mod had a bloody nose that might be
broken.  He had welts all over his neck and face, a black eye, and Joe feared
that he might also have a concussion and maybe a back injury from being slammed
so hard to the ground.

They were
both silent when they weren’t groaning.  It had taken seemingly forever for the
principal to return, and when he did he brought an entourage of Mr. Serano, Mr.
Caltabaldi, and a few of the lunch ladies. None of them had been any help when
Mod was being harassed by Team Badd Azz. 

Mr.
Serano walked up and placed Joe’s necklace on his lap.

Mr.
Serano: “I believe this is yours.”

He walked
away to join the rest of the faculty.

Mod:
“That’s an ugly necklace, dude.”

Joe
laughed and shook his head.  It was all he had to remember Beauty and her
promise to protect him.  He didn’t care how ugly it was. 

Mr.
Patrias and the rest were all talking about the situation and coming up with
conclusions that were wrong. They hadn’t been part of it, and only had what
limited and most likely wrong information was provided to them.  It was always
that way with fights.   The kids that liked or feared Fleez and Dozz, which
there were more of, would take their sides and report a story that would help
them.  Joe knew that he and Mod had very little chance of coming out of this
being seen as the victims that they were.

After all
the talking was done, Mr. Patrias walked up to Joe and Mod, looking grim.  He
handed them both tissues to wipe the blood from their faces, and pointed Joe to
the basket to discard the tissue he used to stop the blood from his nose.

Mr.
Patrias: “Go to my office, both of you.  I’ll be in there shortly.”

They
walked into the office and took their seats.  The principal had stepped out for
a minute, leaving Joe and Mod in silence.

Mod: “I
wish that they would get this over with already.”

Joe:
“They’re going to suspend us.”

Mod: “Yep,
and it was totally worth it.”

They
laughed until it hurt too much to laugh anymore.  Principal Patrias walked back
into the office with a stack of papers in his hand.  He closed the door behind
him and walked over to his desk, where he set the neat stack down.

Mr.
Patrias: “So … gentlemen…”

He took
the time to look both of them in the eyes dramatically.

Mr.
Patrias: “Violence?  In my lunchroom?  That’s intolerable.  We can’t have that
in our building.”

Mod:
“Tell that to Fleez.  He jumped on me, not the other way around.”

Mr.
Patrias: “I understand that you played a humiliating video of Bart and his
family.”

There was
no way Mod could get out of being blamed for that.  His voice was on the video.

Mod: “Yes
I did, but that was only to pay him back for the last two times he humiliated
me.  Notice that in those times I never laid my hands on him.”

Mr.
Patrias: “Now, you know that two wrongs don’t make a right, Modrick.  There was
no valid reason to play that video, humiliating him like that.  What’s more,
you used precious school equipment to do it with.  Our budget is not so bloated
that we can have our A/V equipment used for such a trivial thing as a prank
video.  You did this without permission and blatantly violated our rules.”

Mod: “I
wouldn’t have had to do it if you didn’t let Fleez run roughshod over the
lunchroom.  The last several days he’s been making my life hell and embarrassing
me in front of everyone.”

Mr.
Patrias: “His name is Bart, not Fleez. But Bart.  I can assure you that we are
handling him as well.”

Mod:
“Like you handled him after he and Dozz threw all that junk on me?  Yeah, you
guys are handling that like pros.  Yup, he was definitely reprimanded and
suspended—oh wait, he wasn’t.”

BAM!  The
principal banged his hand against the desk loudly, silencing Mod.

Mr.
Patrias: “That’s enough!  Your smart mouth is getting us nowhere.  The fact of
the matter is an altercation was started on school premises thanks to you.  You
instigated it, and although, yes, Bartholomew did escalate to physical
violence, you provoked him and had your friend attack him two-on-one.”

Joe: “Mod
was getting creamed!  I couldn’t let that monster Fleez kill him like that.”

Mr.
Patrias: “I assure you, Mr. Black, your friend was not going to die.  A little
schoolyard tussle never killed anybody.  I frown upon it, but if it must be
done, do it with honesty at least.  So yes, for your part, Joseph, you will
also be punished.”

Mod,
visibly angered, sighed at his helplessness.  Joe waited quietly for his
sentence.

Mr.
Patrias: “Both of you will be suspended and won’t be readmitted until I meet
with your parents.  Modrick, you will be suspended for five days and, Joe, you
for three.”

Joe: “And
how many days for Fleez?”

Mr.
Patrias: “In this building he is Bart, understand?  That information isn’t
relevant to you.”

He signed
something on his desk and then signed something else.

Mr.
Patrias: “Now, I don’t want to see you two in my office again, especially you,
Joe.  We already had this talk, remember?”

Joe: “Yes,
sir.”

Mr.
Patrias: “This definitely isn’t helping your chances of staying here.”

He handed
both of them their suspension forms.  They were really neat and pretty looking
things, with the fancy border designs and the way Patrias signed his name
ornately.

Mr.
Patrias: “I’ll see you gentlemen in a few days.  Be ready to catch up in your
classes when you come back.  You are dismissed.”

They both
quickly got up and raced to the door, walking as fast as they could without
looking overly excited.  Mod whispered to Joe very quietly.

Mod:
“Don’t need to tell me twice.”

Sitting
in the office chairs was Kate. She greeted them when they walked near.

Kate: “So
how long you two out for?”

Mod:
“Five days.”

Joe:
“Three days.”

Kate:
“You look terrible.  We need to get you both to the hospital.”

Joe:
“I’ll be okay.”

Mod: “Cut
it out, tough guy.  If you’re hurting even half as much as I am, you need to
go.”

He
elbowed Joe in the ribs, causing Joe to flinch back terribly.  Kate was
startled by that, so Mod leaned in and whispered in Joe’s ear instead.

Mod:
“Idiot!  My sister is being nice to you again.  Take her up on her offer and
get out of the doghouse.”

Joe felt
so stupid.  That was some prime advice from a guy who hadn’t even had a
girlfriend yet.

Kate:
“What are you two whispering about?”

Mod:
“Just reminding our buddy here that injuries like that don’t heal so fast.  Now
let’s go to the hospital!”

Kate eyed
them both suspiciously.  They all walked through the halls and out of the
building to Kate’s car in the parking lot.  She had not parked too far from him,
and he took that as a good sign that they were in a good place.  The only
problem was that he had no idea what that place was.  They got in the car,
which was a much brighter red than either sibling’s hair, and drove off to the
hospital.

The
Orangetown hospital was quite small, only three floors and a few small
hallways.  Because of that, the doctors all knew everyone in town.  All three
went in at the same time and waited for their doctor.  Instead of waiting in
emergency, their doctor, Dr. McCullough would perform a checkup on them, at his
request.  He was both Joe and Mod’s personal physician and had some space in
his schedule after his current appointment.  Mod was chosen to go first when
the good doctor saw the depth of his injuries.  As he was getting his checkup,
Joe and Kate were left to sit together outside of the doctor’s office.

Kate:
“You guys are idiots.”

That was
starting to be her favorite word for Joe it seemed.  He laughed.

Joe: “Why
is that?”

Kate:
“Neither of you had any business challenging Fleez like that.  You guys are
like little ants in comparison to him.”

Joe: “Why,
thanks for the vote of confidence!  I knew we could beat him too.”

Kate:
“Well, you know what I mean.”

Joe:
“This was mostly Mod’s bright idea.  He kept telling me that he had a plan for
all this bullying, but I didn’t know that it involved angering both Fleez and
Dozz like that.  If I’d known that, I probably would have stopped him.”

Kate:
“Probably?”

There was
a hint of something inside Joe that didn’t mind giving the bullies a taste of
their own medicine.  He had even welcomed it despite his injuries.

Joe:
“Well, they deserved it.  I personally didn’t like that he put their families
in the video, but I do think that Fleez and Dozz needed to be taken down a
peg.  Your brother was just brave and crazy enough to do it.  In a way he’s a
hero.”

Kate:
“You know what I think?”

Joe:
“What’s that?”

Kate: “I
think you’re a hero.”

Joe was
left speechless at that.  He could only blush and look down at the floor.

Kate:
“It’s true.”

Joe: “Nah,
I’m not no hero.”

Kate:
“But you are.  My brother didn’t do what he did to help anyone else out.  He
didn’t even stand up for himself.  He did what he did to outdo Fleez and Dozz. 
He wanted to be the best showman—I know he did, and so he put on a show that
rivaled theirs.  His motivations were mostly selfish, but not yours.”

Joe:
“What do you mean?”

Kate: “I
mean that you’re a good person, Joe.  You stepped in and helped my brother
without even thinking about your own well-being.  I know, because I saw you
with my own two eyes.  You dived in and defended my brother like a champion.”

Joe:
“Well, he’s like family.  There was no way that I’d let him get hurt like that
without doing—I don’t know … something.”

Kate
smiled and softly tapped his arm.

Kate: “Thank
you for being my brother’s good friend.  He needs you.”

Joe:
“What about you?  What do you need?”

She took
her eyes off of him and looked into the distance morosely.

Kate:
“Well … I need you.  I’m tired of pretending to be mad at you.”

Breathing
had suddenly become very difficult for Joe.  He took a few deep breaths before
he could say anything.

Joe: “I
need you too.”

She
smiled and Joe grabbed her hands and cupped them in his own.

Joe: “I
missed you, I missed you, I missed you!  So freaking much!”

She
laughed loudly.

Kate:
“You lunkhead!  I bet that’s the reason you stayed in the stadium when we
left.”

Joe:
“Huh?  What do you mean?”

Kate:
“You stayed to help somebody, I just know it.  That’s the only reason.”

Joe:
“Well I—”

Kate:
“Don’t worry, you don’t have to say anything else about it right now.  I’m just
glad that things are almost back to the way they were.”

Kate laid
her head down on his shoulder and Joe smelled her perfume.  It was jasmine, what
she always wore.  He loved the smell.

Joe: “Me
too.”

They sat
like that for a while and talked about their last couple of weeks.  Joe told
her as much as he could, but left out the details.  She wanted him to tell her
even more, but he protested.  After that, she told him about her classes and
they talked about their plans for college.

Mod
returned to them all bandaged up, along with the very tall and brown-haired Dr.
McCullough.

Joe:
“That was quick.”

Mod: “I’m
good to go, surprisingly enough.  I just need to take it easy for the next five
days. I should be alright by the time I go back to school.”

Dr.
McCullough: “Your bruises should heal up even faster, Joe.  Come on, let’s get
you examined.”