Avian (The Dragonrider Chronicles) (43 page)

“Where do we go from here?” Felix asked. When I looked at him again, he was staring at me with the most haunted expression on his face.

“I’m going wherever they send me,” I told him. “I guess you have to decide again whether or not you’re going to stay with the dragonriders or go be a duke.”

He pressed his lips together into a frown. “That’s not what I meant. I’m already a duke. My mom signed the estate over to me, and I gave her permission to act in my place when I’m not there. I’m going with you to war, Jae.”

“Then what do you mean?”

“I mean, Lyon is dead, the animals and plants are conspiring to kill us all, and you’re turning into some kind of vine-wielding forest deity. What do we do now?” He asked again. “What’s happening to the world?”

I stopped to think about that. While I decided how to answer, I reached under the mattress of my bed and took out the scimitar Bren had restored for me. I ran my thumb over the elven crest on the pommel, the head of a stag engraved in the shimmering metal.

Felix stared down at it with wide eyes, and I could see his reflection in the side of the polished sheath. “Where did you get that?”

“I think I was supposed to find this.” I sat the blade down on the bed beside me, and started digging under my mattress again. I pulled out the bone-carved necklace my mother had given me and put it back around my neck. It felt good to have the familiar weight of that talisman against my chest again. “I think I’ve been missing a lot of things I was supposed to find. Answers that have been staring me in the face all this time.”

“Answers? To what?”

I started unlacing my boots and unbuckling my belt, changing into my night clothes. “To the same questions we’ve all been asking ourselves since the first time I called to Mavrik. What am I? Why do I have these powers? What am I meant to do with them?”

Felix shifted uncomfortably, and eyed me skeptically. “And you think you know how to figure all that out now?”

“Maybe not all of it, but I think I know where to start.” I crawled into bed and held the scimitar against my chest. “Goodnight, Felix.”

I could sense him scowling at me. It was like a familiar stink in the air. He didn’t like vague answers, but I wanted to wait until I was sure before I shared it with him. Beckah had suggested I listen to my dreams, and now I was beginning to believe she was right. I needed answers. And so far, my dreams held the only person in the world who could give them to me.

* * *

I stood on the muddy road. Around me was the snowy valley, white-crested mountains, and the looming wall of trees I knew was Luntharda. The air was so cold it made me gasp, and the sunlight sparkled over the snowdrifts. Before, when I saw this place in my dreams, it had always filled me with fear because I knew what was coming. I clenched my teeth and tried to control my emotions.

I wasn’t going to be afraid. I was determined to see it all, to the bitter end.

“It’s just a dream,” I reminded myself out loud.

“No, not a dream,” a familiar voice spoke softly. “A memory.”

I looked, surprised to see a new figure standing right next to me. It was my mother.

She was much shorter than I was, giving me a real appreciation for how petite her people usually were, and how different I was by comparison. Her silver hair was flowing down her back, and her strange eyes reflected the blue sky, making them shine like aquamarines. Her clothes were strange and exotic. She was draped in one long ivory sheet of silk dotted with stitching of green vines and purple flowers. It was wrapped around her like some kind of ancient goddess, and there was a golden band in her hair made to look like rose vines twisted together. She looked ageless and powerful, and it surprised me. I’d never seen my mother look like that.

“But I don’t remember any of this,” I argued with her.

She smiled without ever looking back at me. “I never said they were
your
memories, dulcu. Now hush. I cannot stay with you much longer. My presence draws his attention.”

I obeyed and turned my gaze to the road again. I stood beside my mother in the muddy road, prepared to face what was going to happen next. Neither of us said a word as we waited. In the distance, I heard a horse whinny. Anxiety started to swirl through my brain as the carriage and company of guards approached. Knowing what was about to happen made dread turn my stomach sour.

The gray elf warrior appeared, just like before. When he spoke, I noticed my mother’s expression was hardening. Her eyes seemed to darken with frustration and disapproval, and when he drew his blade and started to slaughter the guards, she turned her face away. There were tears in her eyes.

I couldn’t comfort her. I couldn’t even move except to turn my head around some, so I watched the battle again. Emotion swelled in my chest with every passing second. Overhead, I heard the familiar screech of a shrike. I could see its shadow blur over the ground as it flew around us. Each swing of the gray elf’s blade made my heart pound painfully. He dragged the king out of the carriage like before, and murdered him first. Nothing about the scene seemed different this time, though. I had seen it play out so many times, after all. I wanted it to be over.

But then something caught my eye.

The glimmer of sunlight off metal made me look at the king again. He lay on his stomach in the mud, motionless and dead, but there was something sticking out from under his cloak. It was the hilt of a blade.

My heart hit the back of my throat so hard I couldn’t catch my breath.

I knew that blade. I knew it because
I
was the one carrying it now. It was my scimitar, the one with the elven crest on the pommel. It had belonged to the King of Maldobar!

Beckah’s words resonated in my mind like an echo, reminding me why I had to pay attention. All my anxiety melted away. She was right, I had been missing things because I was too afraid to watch. Emotion had clouded my sight, and my own fear had pulled the dream apart.

I braced myself, setting my eyes upon the gray elf warrior. He moved like a predator over the bodies of the people he had murdered. His sneer was ruthless, and he cut his eyes right past me to look as the wounded guard, the only survivor, stood up shakily with his sword in hand.

The guard could barely keep a grip on his own weapon. Blood made his hands slick, and there was a deep gash on his leg that would definitely be deadly if it were left untreated. But I could see him fix his eyes upon the gray elf through the slit in his helmet. Something about him was so familiar, and I studied him over and over trying to figure out why. I still couldn’t see enough of his face to recognize him, though.

“Aren’t you brave?” The gray elf warrior taunted, spinning his strange white blade like it was weightless. “Tell me, little soldier, just how brave are you? What would you do to save your own life?”

I saw the guard brace for the attack, squaring his stance and preparing to stand and fight. My heart was beating out of control, and every fiber of my being cried out to let me step in and stop this. But I knew better now. It wasn’t real. I had to watch. I had to see and understand.

The gray elf lunged like a panther, crossing the distance between them as the guard raised his sword and prepared to defend. They collided in combat, locking blades and pressing in to test each other’s strength.

“You are made of tougher stuff than the rest of these fools,” the gray elf purred with approval, grinning from ear to ear. “You might be very useful indeed.” He twisted his stance in the blink of an eye, easily dropping the guard to the ground by kicking his already wounded leg.

The guard scrambled to get away. It was no good. The gray elf planted a foot on his chest to pin him down, and lowered the tip of his sword until it barely touched the guard’s throat. He was caught with no choice but to lie there, staring death in the eye.

“Perhaps destroying such bravery and strength would be a waste, even if you are only a human. Why don’t we make a bargain, you and I? You want to live, and I need an errand boy. You see, there’s something that belongs to me hidden away in that forest. An artifact my people call the god stone,” the gray elf said as he pressed his blade a little harder against the guard’s throat. “Bring it to me, and not only will I spare your life, but I will reward you handsomely. Betray me, and I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth, along with everyone you have ever cared for. You will watch your entire family, your friends and loved ones, all pay the price for your disloyalty.”

I waited in horrified silence. I couldn’t imagine the gray elf would ever keep his word, or that the guard would even agree to help this murderer. Everything about this was wrong.

“Swear to me,” the guard rasped from under his helmet. “Swear that you will not lay a hand on my family, if I agree.”

The gray elf’s grin widened. His eyes glittered maliciously, like a spider eyeing a fly caught in its web. “I swear it on the god stone.”

A hot, buzzing sensation pricked at the back of my mind. It made me shiver at those words.

“Then I agree.” The guard reached for the point of the blade at his throat and pushed it away. He started to get up, limping on his wounded leg and meeting the gray elf’s gaze with a bitter, defiant glare.

I recognized that glare an instant before he started taking off his helmet. It fell from his hand, and my heart fell with it. The helmet made a sound like an empty metal bucket when it hit the ground and rolled away.

The guard brushed a hand through his hair, and turned so that he was looking right in my direction. I could see his face. He was scowling toward me with the same harrowing look in his eyes I had seen a thousand times before.

I knew exactly who he was.

I couldn’t eat breakfast. The sight of food made me even sicker, as though all my insides were rotting away. I sat with my eyes squeezed shut, trying to see anything but the image that was burned into my mind like it had been branded there. It was the face of someone I knew, someone I had thought I understood. Now I knew I was only beginning to truly understand the truth—the ugly, despicable, awful truth.

Felix elbowed me as he got up, letting me know it was time to go. We had to leave for the graduation ceremony soon. My mind was hazy as we gathered up our bags again, put on our armor, and saddled our dragons. Only the graduating avians were allowed to leave, which amounted to about twenty of us in all. The rest were either too wounded, or hadn’t performed well enough to pass. They would have to wear another stripe and try again next year. I should have been proud to be one of the students who had been given the honor of graduating, but all I felt was complete disgust with myself. I had been so blind for so long, and the truth had been staring me right in the face.

A few instructors, including Jace, had volunteered to go with us as chaperones. I was surprised to see him standing in Mavrik’s stall when I came in. My former instructor was standing there, already dressed in his armor, casually chewing a piece of straw. He glanced at me, and frowned down at the scimitar hanging off my belt.

“Interesting choice of weapon,” he mumbled. “Some would call that heresy, or even treason.”

“Are you going to ask me whose side I’m on again?” I snapped with as much defiance as I dared. I walked past him and started buckling my bags onto Mavrik’s back.

Jace snorted. “No. I came here to ask if you wanted to be my wing end.”

I froze. Slowly, I turned around to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. “You still want to fight with me? Even after what you’ve seen me do?”

“Actually, I’m surprised I’m the only one who’s asked you. I guess the others are waiting until after you graduate. Lucky me for getting to you first.” He smirked and nodded toward Mavrik. “You two are the only ones to ever be able to keep up with Ghost and me. My last partner couldn’t keep in formation. That’s why he got killed. You think you can handle being my wing end?”

I debated pinching myself to make sure this was really happening. But I didn’t want to run the risk of looking like an idiot, so I nodded. “Only if you think you can handle my occasional weirdness.”

Jace’s smirk widened, and it was starting to freak me out. Smiling came about as naturally to him as it did to a hungry wolf. “I’m counting on it. After all, we’re the only ones who stand any chance in an aerial skirmish with shrikes. Being able to talk to Ghost and anticipate his moves makes you my number one choice.”

Thinking about shrikes made me sick all over again. I went back to buckling down my gear and put my helmet on. “So, I guess that will put us on the frontlines?”

“To the worst parts of them, in fact. We’ll be going to Northwatch. We deploy from here in five days. That should give you time to get things squared away at home—that is, unless you planned on getting married before you leave.” Jace stopped on his way out the door and gave me an expectant look. “Were you?”

I was so glad I already had my helmet on so he couldn’t see me blush. “No, sir.”

He made a grunting sound, like he approved. “Good. Then don’t be late. And quit calling me sir; I’m not your instructor anymore.”

* * *

The closer we got to Halfax, the heavier the secret I was carrying became. It threatened to break me, to send me spiraling into a reckless rage that would more than likely get me killed. I struggled to keep it together and remain calm. There was still so much uncertainty. My mother had told me I was watching a memory instead of a dream, but wasn’t she merely a dream, too? She had died a long time ago, and I was certain about that. How could I trust what I saw in my dreams wasn’t a trick of my own mind? Felix had seemed so sure that the real king wasn’t dead. I knew he would never lie to me, especially not about something like that.

We started our final descent to the royal city, and I could hear music even several hundred feet in the air. I could see the streets around the castle were filled with people coming to welcome us. As we got closer, Jace took the lead and brought us to a wide, open courtyard in the middle of a beautiful garden right in the middle of the city. There was enough room for all of us to land together, and people cheered as we arrived. They threw so many flowers and petals that it looked like colorful snow.