Avow (22 page)

“You don’t give her enough credit, Gabe. She’s brave and stubborn and tough as hell. She’s not the breakable doll you want her to be.”

“I don’t care if she’s made of steel, Tristan. Because of you, she’s in pain.”

“Yes, well, I’m sure it’s less pain than the pain she suffers when she’s dying.”

“You’re an ass.”

Tristan nodded. “Yep.” Then an odd glint entered his eyes as he stopped and stared at Gabriel. He cocked his head. “You love her.”

“Of course, I love her.”

“No.” Tristan wiped a hand across his forehead. “You love her more than you used to. You want to protect her.” He said this like it was a revelation.

“Quit changing the subject.” Gabriel pointed to the door. “Go fix this.”

“No.” Tristan threw another punch into the bag. Then another.

“You need to apologize to her. She loves you!”

“And that’s the problem, isn’t it?” Tristan quit punching and faced Gabriel, breathing heavy from his exertion. “Her love for me is like poison and you just enable it. You just keep letting her love me.” He shook his head. “I asked you to take her away and what are you doing? Telling me to apologize to her? To tell her the truth? You’re just as destructive as she is! Don’t you see? If I don’t do this—if I don’t break her heart—the cycle will never end! She’ll die and die and die. And you’re just chicken shit enough to let her.” Tristan’s eyes were wild and reckless. “So she cries. So what? Take care of her, dammit! Don’t come to me with your bullshit wants and needs like I just made your life hell. I’m in hell.
I’m
in hell.” He jabbed at his sweaty chest with a finger. “But I’m also the only one unafraid to make hard decisions around here. So, don’t tell me what to do.” He started unwrapping the bindings from his hands, his green eyes cold as they focused on the task.

Gabriel was enraged, but more than that, he was flooded with disappointment. “I hate you.”

“Yeah, well,” Tristan threw his undone wrappings to the floor, “I hate you too.” He pushed past Gabriel, the door to the room swinging open and closed with a heavy thud.

CHAPTER 24

There is a difference between a heart that no longer aches and a heart that no longer feels. And Scarlet’s heart no longer felt anything.

Not joy. Not pain. Not love. Not hate.

Nothing.

She didn’t know if Tristan cared for the redhead he’d kissed, or if he’d just wanted Scarlet to assume he cared. But either way, Tristan had wanted to hurt her. And the revelation had changed her.

A switch had gone off inside Scarlet, extinguishing the light of Tristan and leaving her dark and numb. Safe from pain.

She no longer loved Tristan because she no longer loved anything.

That is the beauty of a heart that no longer feels.

CHAPTER 25

Boston 1895

“You know,” Gabriel mused as Scarlet lined up another arrow, aimed, and released. “Most women pass their time walking with parasols and visiting dance halls.”

She pulled another arrow. “Most women are boring.”

Drawing back on her bow, she released the arrow into the long hall before her and watched as it pierced the target ahead.

“Very true. There is nothing boring about an armed woman. Alarming, perhaps. But certainly never boring.”

Scarlet lowered her bow. “What are you doing here, Gabriel?”

“Watching you shoot arrows.”

After the Tristan Incident—that’s what she was calling it, the Tristan Incident—Scarlet refused to be codependent ever again. She had precious few years to live and she wanted to make the best of it—without the assistance of over-protective immortals.

So she’d bought her own home and she made her own friends. She made a life for herself and for the first time in all her centuries, Scarlet felt like an adult. She needed no one, so she never sought out Nate or Gabriel.

Though that didn’t stop them from coming to her.

Nate visited once a week to draw her blood. He was working on a vaccine, hoping to cure Scarlet through medicine. She had no such hopes, but she let him draw her blood anyway.

But Gabriel visited her every other day and almost always commented on how odd it was for a woman to convert her home’s hallway into an archery range. It was dreadfully annoying.

But it was also the only thing Scarlet looked forward to each week.

She didn’t want him in her life, yet she felt empty when he was not there. Something about his patience and crooked smile made Scarlet feel loved and undamaged. And dammit if those weren’t two things she wanted more than anything.

Not that she’d ever let Gabriel know that. This life—
her
life—was for her alone. No broken hearts. No maddening curses. No gray love. She just wanted…simple. And so she had built herself a simple little life and pretended to be annoyed with Gabriel’s incessant drop-ins.

“Don’t you have better things to do than loiter in my home?” Scarlet asked.

He smiled. “Would you like me to leave?”

No!

Scarlet hurried to shut off her ridiculously needy heart.

Numb. I want to be numb.

“You may stay if you wish, but do not expect me to entertain you.”

“Too late.” His smile grew. “I miss you, Scarlet.”

She wished he would not say such things to her when she was trying to be numb. Words had a way of making her heart stir and Scarlet didn’t want to feel her heart. Not now. Not ever again.

She
said nothing, mostly because she could not trust her traitorous heart to speak coldly to the loving man who so wished to make her life beautiful and was so desperate for love himself.

“So,” he continued, unfazed by her lack of response. “I was thinking we could travel somewhere. Would you like to see Paris?”

“No.”

“Would you like to go to a play with me?”

“No.”

“Would you like to shut yourself up in your house and pretend as though you are someone else? Or at least no longer you?” He smiled.

Yes. Exactly.

How did he know that?

“Scarlet.” He walked up to her. “You can shut me out forever. That’s fine. But I will always be here. Not because I think you need me, but because I love you.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek, and Scarlet’s eyes
fell
shut at the contact.

She missed him. She loved him.

But she wasn’t ready to feel again.

Was she?

She opened her eyes but Gabriel was already gone.

CHAPTER 26

Boston 1896

Scarlet stood on Gabriel’s doorstep. She didn’t know why she was here. She knew why she wasn’t at home, but she still wasn’t sure why her feet had brought her to Gabriel’s.

She had not seen or heard from Tristan since the night of his fight and had not shed a tear since the same night. Her numb heart kept away the pain, setting her free of love.

But freedom felt a lot like death.

Empty. Numb.

Scarlet bit her lip as she looked at Gabriel’s door. She should knock. She should go back home.

He wanted to care for her. Heal her. Love her.

Even when Scarlet would push away his patient heart, his patient heart would come right back. The nothingness she felt was safe, but it was also empty.
She
was empty. Just like Gabriel.

She knocked on the door.

He
answered and a pleasant smile spread across his face as he ushered her inside and closed the door. “Hey.”

“Hey.” She fidgeted for a moment, shifting her weight from side to side as they stood in silence.

Gabriel waited patiently, smile still in place.

“I don’t need anyone,” she blurted.

“I know.”

“But I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” He looked at her with his loving brown eyes.

He wanted love and she no longer wanted to be numb.

It was gray. It was completely gray.

But gray was better than empty.

So she kissed him.

Because this was not a time for safety or confusion. This was a time for healing. And they were both so broken.

He hesitated for a moment, then kissed her back. Fully, completely, honestly. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her up against him and Scarlet no longer felt numb.

CHAPTER 27

Boston 1897

Tristan was back to shooting arrows at trees to ease his restless heart. The night after his kiss with Alex, he’d lost his first fight in decades.

He didn’t want to fight back. He didn’t want to fight at all.

So he went blind in agony, felt muscles burn, heard bones break.

And then he healed.

Because his immortal flesh never failed to come away from a beating unscathed. His heart, however, had no such luck.

Fighting had fed the darkness inside him for a long time, but after crushing Scarlet, fighting no longer helped him escape the pain that haunted him. He retired the sport and moved outside of town, where his limbs ached with Scarlet’s distance but his mind had room to breathe.

He never saw Scarlet, but Nate—who visited frequently, though Tristan insisted he did not need company—had kept him informed of Gabriel and Scarlet’s relationship.

It seemed they were growing closer. A fact that almost made Tristan want to go back to fighting. But isn’t this what he had wanted all along? Scarlet safe. Scarlet happy. Scarlet loved.

Yes. This was what he wanted.

A crunch of dead leaves alerted Tristan to someone nearing him in the trees. He turned to see Gabriel approach from the side and then went back to shooting without a word.

Gabriel pursed his lips. “We need to talk about Scarlet.”

Tristan lowered the bow as a ripple of tension rolled through his body.

“I love her,” Gabriel said.

Something twisted in Tristan’s chest. “Good.”

Gabriel paused. “If you want her, you need to come home and make things right with her. Now.”

Tristan stared at him. Was this a threat? Or an opportunity?

Did it matter?

When Tristan didn’t speak, Gabriel scratched his chin. “I’ve watched her heart break over you too many times. I won’t let it happen again. If you don’t fix things with her now, I won’t give her back.”

Tristan rubbed the back of his neck, hating his life. But what could he do? What could he possibly do?

Not a damn thing.

He shook his head. “There’s nothing to fix.”

Gabriel looked sad—the bastard actually looked sad. As if Tristan’s surrender of Scarlet had somehow wounded
him
.

With his eyes on the ground, Gabriel nodded. “I’ll make sure she’s happy.”

And then Gabriel, who had somehow become the better man between them, turned and walked away.

CHAPTER 28

New York 1983

From the moment Scarlet awoke in a park, staring across blades of grass at Tristan’s green eyes telling her she was safe, she knew something was wrong.

But it wasn’t until an hour later, when everyone gathered in Nate’s house for a Welcome Back To Life meeting, that Scarlet realized what it was.

“I’m making progress on a vaccine, but I’d like to do some more experiments with your blood.”

Scarlet said, “Of course.”

Nate nodded. “I will begin performing a sequence of tests in an effort to…”

Her thoughts drifted away from Nate as she thought about being cured. A cure would mean no more dying. It would mean Gabriel could love whomever he wanted. It would mean she and Tristan could—

Tristan shifted uncomfortably in his seat across from her.

Scarlet wrinkled her nose. She’d only been alive for an hour and already she was annoyed with their connection. With Tristan.

He’d looked at her. He’d felt her. But he hadn’t spoken a word to her since they’d left the park. If he was going to continue reading her emotions like an open book, the least he could do was exchange a word or two with her in return. But what had she expected? A plea for forgiveness? A confession of true love?

An image of him kissing the sexy redhead snaked into her head and unsolicited jealousy stirred low in her belly. She clamped down on that emotion for fear of Tristan reading her again and getting the wrong idea.

She no longer had any interest in the green-eyed Archer. Shaking him out of her head, Scarlet looked around Nate’s large living room, taking in the tall windows, giant rugs, and leather furniture. Huh. Nate never used to be so…coordinated. She ran her hand along the soft, leather armrest of the couch she sat on and, once again, felt like something was wrong.