Authors: Lullaby for Two
“Ready. Elevator or stairs?”
They were going two floors up and normally Vince would have suggested the stairs. But tonight he decided, “Let’s take the elevator.”
After a quiet walk down the corridor, Vince hit the button. He and Tessa stood there, a bit awkwardly he thought. They shouldn’t be awkward, but he guessed they were thinking about Amy…and thinking about later.
He was relieved to see no one else occupied the elevator. He and Tessa stepped inside. The doors swooshed shut and the hum of ascension underlined their silence.
“How’s your dad?” he asked.
“In a bad mood. I called him at lunch today and he’d had physical therapy. He said his knee hurt—as if he expected it to get better with one session.”
Vince smiled. “Of course, he did. He expects his body to do his bidding as most other people in his life do.”
Tessa gave him a quick glance.
“I meant in general.”
“I know you did.”
They both stared straight ahead until Vince blew out a breath. “Are you nervous about tonight?”
She gave him one of those shy smiles that made her look seventeen again. “If I say I’m not, would you believe me?”
“I’ll believe what you tell me.”
“I’m just not sure where we’re headed and—”
The elevator doors opened and Tessa let her sentence trail off as they stepped out.
Vince wanted to step back inside the elevator, hit the button to close the door and kiss Tessa senseless. But he knew this wasn’t the time or place.
They were walking down the hall when suddenly one of Amy’s friends erupted from her room, yelling, “Get a doctor. She’s awake! Her mom says she’s awake.”
Tessa rushed forward, Vince by her side. When they stepped into the room, they found Amy’s mother by her bedside, holding her daughter’s hand. Amy was looking around as if she didn’t know where she was.
Her mother explained softly, “It’s okay, baby. You’re in the hospital. You were in an accident.” Then her mother ran her hand over Amy’s face. “Oh, honey, I’m so glad you came back to us. We were so worried.” There were tears in her voice, but happiness, too. So much happiness it filled up the room.
A doctor rushed in from the hall and headed for the teenager. “It’s about time you woke up. I think you got enough beauty sleep. Could everyone please leave the room for a few minutes? I’d like to examine our patient.”
But Amy’s mom wasn’t leaving yet. She held her daughter’s chin in her palm. “Honey, do you know who I am?”
Amy licked dry lips and seemed unable to form the words at first, but then she nodded, and in a cracked voice said, “Mommy.”
When Vince turned to Tessa, he saw the sheen of tears in her eyes. He couldn’t help draping his arm around her shoulders and leading her outside with the others where they spoke to Mrs. Garwin for a few minutes.
Suddenly she put her hand to her mouth. “I have to call my husband. He’s working late tonight.” Then she hurried down the hall to use the visitors’ phone in an alcove. A few minutes later, she was back, tears running down her cheeks. “He’s coming right over.” She shook Vince’s hand and then Tessa’s. “Thank you for stopping to see her when you did. I know it helped. I know every visit from everyone helped.”
A few minutes later, Vince and Tessa left the group.
“My car’s in the parking garage,” he said. “Where’s yours?”
“Outside the main entrance in the reserved spot.”
“Come sit with me for a little while before we leave.” He didn’t feel as if he wanted to be separated from her yet and she must have felt the same because she nodded and followed him. His SUV was easy to spot. Over the supper hour, visitors had dwindled and fewer vehicles were left.
Vince unlocked the doors with the remote. “Sit with me in the backseat for a few minutes. I want to hold you.”
She didn’t look surprised and he suspected that she needed to be held. He wondered how often she’d let herself
be
held. If she hadn’t had a man in her life in all these years…
After Vince started the SUV and let the air conditioner cool the vehicle, he settled with her in the backseat and tossed his Stetson to the rear compartment. When he wrapped his arm around her, she leaned into him.
He could feel her tremble a bit. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. It’s just sometimes I think doctors take too much credit for what happens. I think Amy’s family brought her back.”
“Is this a woman of science I hear talking?” he teased.
“Sometimes there are no explanations, Vince. There was a meeting this morning to discuss putting Amy in another facility. Medical professionals were giving up hope but her family didn’t. Thank goodness.”
“Thank goodness,” Vince murmured into Tessa’s temple.
The SUV was warm from the July heat, but Vince knew he was burning up with a fire of another kind, a fire he had to bank until Tessa was ready for it. Still, he dropped his head, nuzzled her nose, found her lips. She kissed him back as if she’d missed him, too. He felt like a teenager, ready to unlatch her bra, ready to lay her back on the seat and take what he hadn’t had in twenty years.
But he couldn’t just take this time. He had to give.
They were involved in an embrace and a prolonged kiss when Vince’s cell phone rang. He thought about ignoring it, he really did, but when he checked the number, he knew he couldn’t.
Tessa looked up at him with wide, serious eyes.
“Janet,” he mouthed. “I’ve got to get this.” He spoke into the phone. “Janet, hi, I’m at the hospital right now. Yes, I’m headed home. You’d like to come over to see Sean and help put him to bed?” Vince glanced at Tessa. There was disappointment on her face but she gave him a nod.
“Sure, you can do that. I’ll be there in about a half hour. I’ll pick up takeout and bring it along.”
After a “See you soon,” Vince closed his phone.
Tessa straightened her blouse and moved away from him. “I should just go home, Vince. I’m sure Janet doesn’t want me intruding on her time with Sean.”
He gave her a hard look. “You’re pulling back again, Tessa.”
“I’m not!”
“Anytime we start heating up, you find an excuse to pull away.”
Now she moved farther from him, her shoulders becoming rigid. “I’m not the one with excuses, Vince. I’m not going anywhere. More and more I’m getting the feeling that you want to have sex just to see if it’s as good as it used to be, not because it will lead us to a serious relationship.”
“You make everything complicated,” he grumbled.
“Life is complicated and I think you’re good at denial. You see only what you want to see. Just what are we starting? A month-long affair. A two-month-long affair? What if the sex isn’t as good as you remembered? That maybe I’m not worth the trouble? You’re committed to Sean and I admire that, but that doesn’t mean you can’t commit to someone else, that you can’t include more in your life. But for your sake and Sean’s and mine, this can’t be hit-or-miss. That little boy needs stability. If I begin to get attached to him, and if he attaches to me, what happens if you tear him away? Have you thought about that?”
He really hadn’t thought about Sean being attached to her, but she was right, his son would easily become attached to her, maybe already
was
. Sean recognized Tessa when she came into the room. He smiled at her and babbled. He liked her to rock him and play with him.
Was
he in denial? Maybe he was. Because he needed Tessa and he saw that need as simple—just get her into bed and they’d both be satisfied? Get her into bed and the past wouldn’t cause the pain it had all these years?
Could Vince commit to staying in Sagebrush when he didn’t know if it was where he and Sean belonged? Could he ever be a good husband when he didn’t know the meaning of the word? He’d failed before. He couldn’t fail again. Sex was only the tip of the iceberg. It was the easiest aspect of their relationship to deal with. But he’d fallen into the trap of thinking it would
solve
something.
He inhaled Tessa’s shampoo, her very essence, and wanted her as he’d never wanted her before. Was his needing Tessa worth new yearnings? New risks?
When she moved to the door, he wanted to pull her back. He wanted to hold her and kiss her and explore whatever they needed to explore.
But she was already opening the door to make her exit. “It’s probably better if I go home tonight. I think Janet’s here for a reason other than to just see Sean. Maybe she’ll tell you what that is if I’m not around.”
Vince felt as if he were juggling too many balls and one of them was going to fall soon. Spending time alone with Tessa during the week was almost impossible with their long work hours but he wasn’t going to just let her walk away. “Are you busy this weekend? I’ll have to make an appearance at Sagebrush’s Great Chili Cook-off on Saturday. Would you like to go?”
“I have a stint at the first-aid stand from one to two. We could meet after that.”
“That sounds good. Do you want me to bring Sean?”
“You know I love spending time with Sean.”
“I don’t want him to be a buffer,” Vince said honestly.
“He’s not. He’s part of who we are now, together.”
Was he? Maybe that’s a question Vince had to face. If he and Tessa got together, could she accept Sean as her child? Or would she always long for the boy she’d lost and blame Vince for it?
That was the question they had to answer.
Da Da. The title felt like it fit.
What kind of life would be most nurturing for Sean? There were openings in the Lubbock Police Department, but Vince didn’t think that was his best course. With Internet security a priority with most businesses these days, along with security systems themselves, Vince had made a few inquiries and was considering the feasibility of opening his own security firm. But the question was—did he want to stay in Sagebrush? Walking down the street today as chief of police was far different from running these streets as a boy and a teenager and a young man.
“Hey, Chief!” someone yelled from the cover of the barber shop’s wooden storefront.
Turning, Vince saw one of his neighbors and waved. Although he was out of uniform, at least half a dozen people had already greeted him by his title. In some cosmic way, that seemed important. After his father had started drinking, no one had respected him. Everyone had known Frank Rossi had fallen apart after his wife left. The downward spiral had happened fast and had never reversed its course. Vince had sworn he’d never let a woman do that to
him.
Was that the reason he was considering leaving Sagebrush? Because Tessa was here? Because he knew if they were involved seriously again, she would hold the power over him his mother had held over his father?
Was he himself chained to a past he thought he’d escaped?
Vince was tired of the questions, tired of analyzing and second-guessing. He searched for the banner for the first-aid stand and headed toward it.
The first-aid station was covered with a red-and-white canopy, which would be more than protection from the sun, as the weatherman had called for storms later in the day. Tessa stood under one corner of the awning while she ministered to an old-timer who sat on a stool beside her.
She was applying salve to the man’s arm. “I heard your chili’s the best in Sagebrush, but you’ve got to be careful.”
Tessa turned to take the pack of gauze pads out of the supply bag and she spotted Vince. The impact of their gazes connecting was almost enough to rock him back on his heels. She broke eye contact first, smiling at Sean.
The old-timer eyed Vince. “So are you going to try my chili, Chief? It’s the third stand down from the hardware store.”
“I just might do that.”
“Maybe we could get some together,” a small, feminine voice piped up at Vince’s elbow.
He instantly recognized Lucy Atkins’s voice. She, too, was pushing her little girl in a stroller.
“I tried to catch up to you, but you were walking way too fast,” she continued. “I thought maybe we could get chili together and ice cream for the kids.”
Tessa continued to tape the gauze on the old-timer’s arm, and Vince could tell nothing from her expression. This was an awkward situation but he knew exactly what
he
wanted. He just wasn’t sure about what Tessa wanted.
With his most conciliatory smile, he said to Lucy, “I’m sorry. I made other arrangements to grab something to eat.”
Lucy looked at Tessa and back at Vince. “Did I step into the middle of something?”
“Just previous plans,” Vince told her casually.
The rattle Lucy’s daughter had been holding made a musical sound as she shook it. When she did, it slipped from her fingers, dropping down onto the seat of her stroller. The little girl started to cry.
Vince crouched down and plucked it from the seat, handing it back to her. “Here you go.”
Lucy studied him and held his gaze. “Thanks. That’s her favorite toy. She wouldn’t want to lose it.” After another few seconds of awkward silence, Lucy smiled. “The word was out that you came back to Sagebrush as an eligible bachelor. But I’ve heard other rumors and now I see they might be true. If you ever
are
eligible and want to get together, give me a call. See you next week at playgroup.” As she waved, she pushed her baby’s stroller away from the first-aid stand.
The old-timer stood up, adjusting his weight on creaky joints. “Looks to me like you’ve got the best problem there is, Chief—your pick of women.”
The old-timer grinned and Vince believed at that point that silence was his best answer.
Thank goodness Francesca broke the awkward scene by running up to the booth. “I’m here to relieve you,” she said brightly to Tessa. She dropped down to her knees at Sean’s stroller. “And how are you today?”
“Anytime he’s in his stroller, he’s happy,” Vince assured her, keeping his gaze on Tessa. “Are we going to go for that chili?”
“Sure,” she agreed with a quick nod. “Just let me get my purse.”
After she exited the booth, she sank down to Sean’s eye level. “And what would
you
like for supper?”
Sean lifted his arm and reached for Tessa’s hair.
She laughed, letting him finger a few of the strands. Then she kissed him on his forehead and pulled away. “I think he likes the idea of ice cream.”
“I’ll get him real food when we get home.”
When Tessa rose to her feet, the breeze ruffled her golden waves. She was wearing a peasant blouse and pink capris. She would be beautiful in a sack. He wanted her with a deep need that unsettled him as much as aroused him.
Tessa walked beside Vince as he pushed the stroller. Being with her this warm afternoon turned back time. He drifted back to afternoons at the lake, stolen kisses at their lockers, hamburgers at the diner.
She didn’t say anything as they walked and he asked, “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing important.”
“I disagree. When you’re quiet, something’s on your mind.”
She looked down at Sean, hesitated, then replied, “Lucy Atkins obviously wants to connect with you. She’s pretty and has an adorable little girl. And…” Tessa hesitated a moment then added, “She could give you more kids.”
He stopped walking. “Tessa!” He couldn’t entirely keep the exasperation from his tone. “Are you saying you’re jealous?” Although the idea gave him some male satisfaction, he also realized Tessa felt an inadequacy that caused her pain.
“I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I guess I am.”
Reaching out, he snagged her arm and pulled her toward him. “First of all, I’m not attracted to Lucy the way I’m attracted to you. Second, I’m not looking to have more children. One is enough of a handful. And third, just because she flutters her eyelashes at me, doesn’t mean I’m going to take advantage of that interest. I want to spend this evening with
you,
no one else. Am I making myself perfectly clear?”
A bright smile began at the corners of Tessa’s mouth and lit her blue eyes.
“Clear,” she murmured.
Vince’s lips were close to hers. But in a low voice, he insisted, “If I kiss you here, there will be gossip from Sagebrush to Amarillo. So why don’t we get that chili and ice cream, take Sean home and feed him and then talk about kissing?”
From the flash of desire that lit up her face, he knew they were going to do more than talk about kissing. He touched his finger to her lips, then leaned away and pushed Sean’s stroller to the nearest chili stand.