Baby Experts 02 (18 page)

Tessa sat across the living room from her dad on Saturday evening, marveling at the change in him, at the change in her own life in only a week. She missed Vince desperately. There were so many things she wanted to share with him. She hurt being away from him. At first, she’d checked her phone every hour in case she’d missed his call. But by today, she’d resigned herself to the fact that he wasn’t going to call.

“So your practice can do without you for six months?” her dad asked, trying to understand her work situation.

“Six months. Then I’m going back part-time. They found a doctor who was looking to open a solo practice but she decided coming in with a group would have its advantages.”

“And you’re going to be okay without a salary for six months?”

“I’m fine. Since you footed the bill for my education, I’ve been saving all these years. I made some good investments.”

He gently tugged on one of Natalie’s corkscrew curls. “You’ll have to start thinking about her education.”

“I have a little time.”

Natalie grinned at Tessa’s dad and swiped at his nose again. He lifted her onto his lap and rubbed his forehead against hers. “You, little girl, are going to be a handful, just like your mother.”

When he looked up at Tessa, Tessa almost wanted to cry because her father looked so happy for her.

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” he said. “Maybe I should have this knee fixed. I can’t babysit properly if I can’t chase her. Looks to me like she’ll be walking any day now.”

“I know. I also know I’m going to have to make a decision about getting my own place, or staying with Emily and Francesca.”

Her dad eyed her above Natalie’s head. “As I’ve told you before, you can always move in here.”

“I don’t think so, Dad. I love you, but we need our own space.”

He scowled at her. “Just as long as you visit often and make this your second home.”

“I think as soon as Natalie gets used to the animals, she’ll want to be here as often as she can. To see you, too, of course.”

He harrumphed, then cleared his throat. “There’s an elephant in this room, you know.”

Tessa kept quiet.

“You’re going to make me ask, aren’t you? Okay, I’ll ask. What’s going on with you and Rossi? You haven’t heard from him since you brought Natalie home?”

She really didn’t want to get into this with her father. “He obviously doesn’t care about me enough to want a life with me. Maybe he never did.”

Natalie was tired of just sitting. “Go down,” she demanded.

Tessa’s father let her swivel from his lap and he moved her to the floor where she crawled to the coffee table, pulled herself up and grinned at them both.

“Good girl,” Tessa praised her.

“I think you might have drawn the wrong conclusion,” her dad decided, surprising Tessa.

“What do you mean?”

“You pulled one big surprise on the man.”

“It was a surprise to me,” she murmured.

“You know what I mean. How did you expect him to react when you’d never told him a thing about an adoption? Maybe he thought you took on this adoption to push him away.”

Her father’s conclusion surprised her. “Since when are you taking Vince’s side?”

“I’m not taking sides. I’m just telling you what I see. After you lost your baby, he felt you betrayed him by coming home with me.”

Betrayed. She’d never thought about it in those terms before. Had Vince felt betrayed?

“You had something to do with that, didn’t you?” She wanted to know if her father would admit his part in it.

“So Rossi finally told you,” he said, his cheeks flushing.

“You told him I blamed him for losing the baby!”

“The conditions you were living in—”

“We had love, Dad. You disowned me. Vince took care of me and was doing the best he could. I did
not
blame him. But all these years, he thought I did.”

“You proved you blamed him when you chose me over him.”

“That was a mistake. A big one.”

“And maybe you’re making a mistake now by not giving Rossi the benefit of the doubt.”

She remained silent.

“When I learned he was coming back here, I looked into his background. He did a damn fine job in the Air Force and he did a damn fine job as a detective. On top of that, he became a father overnight.
Overnight,
Tessa, just like you. And with a child that needed special help. It seems to me he’s still finding his way.”

“We could have found it together,” she said almost to herself.

“Yes, maybe you could have if you’d have told him what you were planning.”

She held out her arms to Natalie so the toddler might attempt walking toward her. “But I didn’t know if it would happen! I certainly never expected an adoption to happen now.”

Her father eyed her and shook his head. “You didn’t trust him to understand. Maybe you thought the adoption
would
push him away. Maybe you were scared he didn’t have strong enough feelings for
you,
either.”

“I don’t know what his feelings are. I don’t know if he wants me in his life. I won’t know unless he tells me. Maybe after we’ve both had some time—”

“You’ve had twenty years.”

And in those twenty years, Tessa’s feelings for Vince had never wavered. She didn’t know if she could say the same for his. Yet maybe this time,
she
was the one who had to set her pride aside, to apologize for the hurt she’d caused him. Maybe if she started with a letter…a letter that would explain everything in her heart…

Vince had been filling his time with lots of paperwork, hours with Sean and nights staring at his ceiling until the sun came up. Missing Tessa was a physical ache. That one night she’d spent with him in his bed had been his idea of perfection. Yet afterward…

“Vince?” Janet Fulton called from the side of the house.

Janet had dropped by twice this past week. The first time
he’d
called
her,
telling her he’d signed the visitation papers and she could come over and pick them up. The second time, she’d brought supper and they’d had dinner and playtime with Sean.

“We’re back here, Janet.”

She came around the corner, wearing red shorts and a red-and-white-polka-dot short-sleeve blouse. Her running shoes were state-of-the-art.

“Want some company?” she asked, looking hopeful. After another glance at him, she decided, “Never mind. Don’t answer that. Are you still not speaking to Tessa? I heard she adopted a little girl. You didn’t tell me that,” she added quickly.

Right now the benefits of living in a small town didn’t outweigh its detriments. “I didn’t much feel like talking about it.”

Crossing to Sean, Janet crouched down and spun the colorful wheel on his tray. “You have trouble talking about what you feel, don’t you?”

Sean’s great-aunt had never been anything but polite and casual, except when it came to her great-nephew. But now Vince had the feeling that was going to change. He ran a hand across his forehead. “Janet—”

“Before you tell me this isn’t any of my business, just think about something. You didn’t have much family support from what I understand—no mom…a weak father.”

“I had an uncle who served in the military,” Vince said proudly.

“But he wasn’t around much to counsel you, was he? And he died years ago without spending time with you.”

“Have you been searching my name on the Internet?” Vince asked evenly.

“Actually, I have,” she admitted. “There are articles here, there and everywhere about you. Apparently you made the papers with some heroics when you were a detective.”

Vince remained silent.

“Modest and humble like most men who put their life on the line. But I think you have to look at your past to see how it has affected your future. With no family support, you didn’t know how to act when you had to face someone like Walter McGuire. You and Tessa fell apart
because
you butted heads with her dad.”

“
He
butted heads with
me
. He didn’t want me in her life.”

“Point noted.”

Vince glanced at her sharply.

“Well, whether it was true or not, that’s what you thought, so that’s what counted. But maybe you should think about what counts now. Do you think I want visitation rights with Sean just to see Sean?”

“You’re his great-aunt.”

“Yes, I am. But you see, when Scott and Carol died, I lost
my
family, too. Sean might be my only living relative but
you’re
his father now. That could make you family to me, too, if you wanted to have family.”

Vince had never, ever considered that.

“Family isn’t only the people you’re given, Vince. Family is what you make of the people in your life. You found that out with Scott. You also found that out with Tessa.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“Why does it have to be so long ago? Why can’t it work now?”

“Because I made too many damn mistakes,” he muttered, getting to his feet, pacing across the patio. “She didn’t tell me about the adoption because she doesn’t trust me. But that’s
my
fault. I should have been the one taking care of her after her hysterectomy, after we lost our baby. We should have been holding each other, talking about it, crying together. I made a bad decision by leaving back then. I should have stayed and fought for her, told her father that I deserved her.”

“Do you deserve her now?”

The question hung in the afternoon heat until Vince responded, “She might not think so. Seeing Tessa again, being with her again got so out of hand. I didn’t realize how much pain was left with the memories, how many regrets we both had. And then the way I acted about the adoption…What a wonderful thing that should have been for her and I acted as if she’d done something wrong.”

“This is another regret?”

Now Vince looked at Janet as if she really
were
family. “What if she can’t forgive me? For the past, for the mistakes, for acting as if I wanted an affair rather than a life?”

“Maybe you should give her a chance to forgive you so you can find out.”

Maybe he should give them both a second chance. For the past week he’d been considering several ways he could do that.

“How would you feel about taking a ride with me and Sean this afternoon?”

“A ride where?”

“To look at some property.”

Janet smiled at him. “I think you have a plan.”

“I do. Now I’ll just have to see if it’s going to work.”

He didn’t care who was there. This was either going to happen or it wasn’t going to happen and he had to find out.

With Sean riding on his hip, Vince rang the doorbell of the Victorian, his heart pounding hard.

Francesca opened the door. When she saw him, he could tell she didn’t know whether to smile or frown. She glanced over her shoulder to the living room, then in a low voice asked, “Did Tessa know you were coming?”

“No, she didn’t. That’s the idea. Can I come in?”

Francesca worried her lower lip for a moment then nodded. “She needs to see you.”

When Vince entered the living room, he found Emily on the sofa reading a magazine. Tessa was stretched out on the braided rug on the floor, playing with blocks with Natalie.

Tessa spotted Vince and went perfectly still.

Francesca beckoned to Emily and they quickly disappeared into the kitchen.

Recovering her composure, Tessa sat up. She looked beautiful in white shorts and yellow top, her golden hair spilling over her shoulders. He ached to have her in his arms. He ached to share his life with hers.

“I started to write you a letter—” she began.

He raised his hand to stop her words. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what was in that letter. “I came over for a couple of reasons,” he began. “Sean and I would like to meet Natalie.”

Tessa looked perplexed at his request and then he saw the hope flaring in her blue eyes. He noticed her take a quick breath and swallow hard. Then she scooped up Natalie off the floor and carried her over to him.

At first Natalie lay her head against Tessa’s shoulder, obviously shy, maybe even afraid. He was a tall man and he knew that could be intimidating to children. But he smiled at her and said in a gentle voice, “Hello, Natalie. My name’s Vince and I brought someone for you to play with. I know he’s a little younger than you are, but I think maybe as you get older, you two might be able to have some fun. Natalie, this is Sean. Sean, this is Natalie.”

As Natalie eyed Sean from Tessa’s shoulder, Vince went on, “Sean had to have a doctor fix his shoulder. His arm still doesn’t work very well, but it’s getting better. He just needs to be a little careful with it. I thought you should know.”

Natalie pushed away from Tessa’s chest. “Pway bwocks?”

“Maybe you could teach him to play with blocks. But I thought maybe we could go for a drive first. Would you like us to put your car seat in the backseat with Sean? I want to show your mommy something. I thought you two might like to see it, too.”

Natalie stared at Vince for a few moments and then a couple of the words seemed to register with her. “Go. Car.”

“I think she got the gist,” Tessa said. “Where do you want to take us?”

“I’d like you to be surprised.”

Tessa studied him and he held his breath, praying she’d realize how much this drive could mean to them both.

“All right,” she replied. “Just let me grab Natalie’s bag and I’ll be ready.”

Ten minutes later, both kids were belted into their car seats in the back of Vince’s SUV and Tessa in the front with him.

“Tell me about Natalie,” he suggested as they drove. “Is she settling in?”

“She is. At first I was concerned she was going to be withdrawn. She’s been through a lot, losing her mom. But I feel us bonding more each day.”

“That’s what happened with Sean after he came home from the hospital. Day by day we became father and son.” He glanced quickly at Tessa and felt a moment of true understanding with her.

Natalie kept a running commentary of things she recognized—cows, cars, a doggie. When Sean babbled, she added, “Sean.”

Vince drove east of Sagebrush, past a few developments to a section with individual properties. He pulled up in front of a two-story house with a wraparound porch that needed a good coat of paint. Lots of land surrounded the old house and a For Sale sign stood in the front yard.

“What do you think?” he asked Tessa.

She turned questioning eyes to his. “I don’t know what to think.”

He unfastened his seat belt and unfastened hers. When she angled toward him, he leaned closer to her and took her hand. “That day in the Sagebrush High School library, I fell in love with you.”

He saw her eyes grow moist and knew she was remembering, too.

“That love grew stronger each day I knew you.” He squeezed her hand gently. “I’ve made so many mistakes where you’re concerned. I should have gone to your father and made it clear to him that
I
was the one who was going to take care of you. I should have brought you home and we should have grieved together over the baby we lost. We should have decided on the future together, whether or not I’d go into the Air Force, whether or not you’d go to college. But we didn’t.”

Her hand was warm in his and her eyes were swimming with tears. He plunged ahead. “I left you and now I’m asking you to forgive me for that. Because I love you, Tessa. You’re the only woman I’ll ever love and your forgiveness can mean having a life with you or not having a life with you. Will you forgive me?”

During the moments she seemed to have trouble finding her voice, Vince’s heart almost raced out of his chest. But then Tessa responded, “Oh, Vince. Yes, I forgive you. I love
you,
too. So much. I should have told you I might adopt. But I was afraid you’d back away…afraid nothing would work out. Since Saturday I’ve been trying to write all of this down. I was going to send it to you so you could think about it…think about us. I’ve rewritten it three times, afraid you wouldn’t understand how much I do love you and Sean.”

“I don’t want you to be afraid, not ever. We’re going to start over. I want to put an offer on this house, build a barn in the back for horses, but most of all, have a fenced-in yard so Sean and Natalie can play together with the two of us watching over them. Will you and Natalie consider marrying me and Sean, so we can spend the rest of our lives together?”

Tessa’s smile was radiant through her tears. “Yes, we’ll marry you.”

He leaned closer to her, giving her a long, tender, loving kiss.

After he broke away, he glanced into the backseat. Sean and Natalie were babbling and pointing to a jackrabbit that had crossed the yard.

He chuckled.

Tessa looked up at him with love in her eyes and stroked his jaw. “What about your job? If we stay in Sagebrush, are you going to work at the Lubbock P.D.?”

“No. I made a few inquiries this week. When my term is over as chief of police, I’ll be joining an investigative and security company in Lubbock.”

“You’ll be happy there?”

“Yes, I think I will be. I’ll be happy anywhere as long as you marry me and we can raise our children together.”

Tessa repeated, “Our children.”

They came together again for another kiss, filled with the promise of dreams they would make come true…filled with the promise of a lifetime of commitment and love.