Baby Experts 02 (16 page)

“Can I give him his bath?” she asked, wanting to move on to alone time with Vince, yet feeling the motherly pull toward Sean. She realized how much she loved caring for Vince’s son.

Vince smiled. “If you want. Or we can do it together. He likes to splash and is more than a little slippery.”

Tessa told herself she shouldn’t be nervous. She was in Vince’s home with him and they’d spent time here before. But tonight…tonight the current pulsing between them was too strong to ignore. Tonight, she’d have to make the decision about just how involved she wanted to be with Vince…and Sean.

Vince readied Sean’s bath, filling a plastic tub within the bigger tub, scattering a few favorite toys around. Tessa prepared Sean and then plopped him into the water. The little boy splashed and giggled and babbled while Vince and Tessa knelt side by side at the tub, their hips bumping, their arms brushing, their laughter mingling. As Vince shampooed Sean’s hair and Tessa let water run from a small pitcher to wash away the suds, Sean seemed to love the water. He raised his arm up happily for more. Tessa hoped soon he’d be raising both arms. Physical therapy was helping, but it was slow going.

Vince bumped his shoulder against hers. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“Now you’re a mind reader?”

“No, I can just read the expression on your face. You’re hoping Sean will be able to lift both his arms soon.”

“I know it can be a long while for the nerves to regenerate. You know that, too.”

“Sure I do. But I can’t help hoping that he’ll heal fast and physical therapy will make him as strong as he needs to be.”

Tessa ran her hand down Sean’s wet hair. “He’s a wonderful little boy.”

“Yes, he is,” Vince agreed, and looked as if he wanted to say more. But he didn’t. “Right now he’s a little boy who’s getting very sleepy-eyed.”

Vince took a huge, fluffy brown towel and lifted Sean out of his tub, wrapping the towel around him. Picking up a second towel, Tessa gently dried the little boy’s hair. Her heart felt so light being here with Vince like this, helping to care for Sean. Her hand brushed Vince’s chest as she tucked the towel around the little boy and, for a moment, they were both totally aware of each other rather than Sean.

But then Vince stepped away.

Tessa murmured, “I have to get something in my car. I’ll be right back.”

Vince arched a brow, but she didn’t explain further.

Outside, lightning flashed against the black sky, then thunder grumbled. Tessa reached into her backseat for the present she’d bought for Sean this morning.

A few minutes later, she returned to Sean’s room, a foot-high blue teddy bear in her arms.

Sean was sitting on his changing table, Vince standing right beside him.

Tessa wiggled the blue bear at him. “How would you like to have a buddy to carry around with you?”

The baby’s blue eyes went wide with delight as he reached for the bear and managed to grab hold of an ear. He flopped the bear up and down, then hugged it with his arm, making excited baby sounds while he did.

“I think he likes it,” Vince said with a smile that was all for Tessa and her thoughtfulness. She realized that buying the bear for Sean and giving it to him was a way of welcoming him into her life…and her heart.

As she and Vince dressed Sean, the baby protested when he had to release the bear. He was finally holding it again as Tessa’s and Vince’s hands bumped into each other while they worked to fasten his diaper and reached for the snaps on his pajama bottoms.

Finally Vince lifted Sean into his arms and held him up high. “Okay, cowboy, time for some shut-eye.” He gently laid his son in the crib, the bear settled in a corner, and switched on the mobile.

After Tessa crossed to the crib, she ran her thumb over Sean’s smooth cheek and stooped to kiss his forehead. “Nighty-night, cowboy.”

She left the room first, her palms a little damp, her heart racing.

Vince switched on the night-light and turned off the overhead. In the living room, he asked her, “Would you like a glass of wine? I bought a peach sangria and a Cabernet Sauvignon. I didn’t know which you might like.”

But he’d gone to the trouble of thinking about it and choosing two. It made her voice catch a little when she answered, “The sangria sounds nice. Need any help?”

“Nope. While I get the wine, why don’t you take a look at the pictures I printed out on the desk? I thought I’d frame a few.”

Tessa went to the far corner of the room where Vince’s computer sat. It was an up-to-date model with a flat screen, and the printer looked high-tech. Vince had printed out photos from his camera on glossy paper.

“There’s a good one there of Sean and Janet,” he called from the kitchen. “I thought I’d buy a frame for it and give it to her to take back.”

“I’m sure she’d like that.” Tessa studied each photo. There was one of Vince and Sean in the backyard. Sean was perched atop the rocking horse that usually sat in his bedroom. It was one of those father-and-son photos that should be kept in a photograph album for a lifetime.

Vince came up behind her. “What do you think?”

She took the glass of wine from him and didn’t meet his eyes. “I think they look professional.”

“Hard to mess up a photo with a digital camera. I should shoot pictures of you and Sean together.”

Unsure what to say to that, Tessa sipped her wine. “This is good.”

Vince took the glass from her hand and set it on the desk, then he set his beside it. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since I saw you at the first-aid stand. But it was too public.”

Stroking his fingers through her hair, he drew it away from her face. “I’m aware of the position I hold. I’m aware of your professional reputation. I wouldn’t do anything to compromise either.”

She knew he wouldn’t. Vince’s honorable streak was one of the qualities she loved about him.

Loved.

Did she still love Vince as she once had?

“Do you think Sean’s asleep yet?” Her voice was husky with emotion.

“He falls off pretty quickly. The baby monitor’s on. We’ll hear him.”

She looked up at Vince and then they weren’t talking anymore. He was setting his lips on hers possessively and she found herself wanting to be possessed. No man but Vince had ever interested her. No man but Vince had ever made her realize she was a passionate woman. No man but Vince could make her
feel
as much as she did. She so easily drowned in their mutual desire. His needs fueled hers and she realized there was no decision to make about loving Vince or wanting to be with him.

She wanted Vince.

She hadn’t realized that, for all these years, she’d been waiting for him to return. Twenty years ago, they’d developed a bond she’d forced herself to believe had been severed. But she’d been wrong. That bond was still alive and she could deny it no longer.

Vince’s kisses became more fevered, his hands more restless as they passed up and down her back. She could feel his heat through his knit shirt and she wanted more of it as his tongue dipped and explored and teased her. After she pulled his shirt up from his waistband, she splayed her hands across his skin.

He pulled back to gaze into her eyes. “You could always make me crazy without half trying.”

“Crazy or hungry?” she asked, knowing she was being provocative.

“I need too much when I’m with you, Tessa. That’s always unnerved me. Hunger’s a part of it, but there’s more to it than that.”

Now she trailed her fingers around to his stomach, slid her hands into his chest hair under his shirt. “Need isn’t a bad thing, Vince.”

“Maybe it’s not,” he decided, taking the hem of her peasant blouse, lifting it up and over her head.

He stared at her for a few moments as if remembering the girl she’d been and comparing that girl to the woman she was today. Her pink bra was a wisp of lace and he easily unfastened it. When he slid the straps from her shoulders, his lips were seductively hot as they kissed under her earlobe, down her neck to her shoulder where the straps had lain. Then he was holding her breasts in his palms. When he brought his lips to one nipple, tongued it then sucked on it, her knees went weak. She braced one hand on the desk to steady her.

“I think it’s time we moved to the bedroom.” His crooked grin made her insides melt.

Yet he didn’t move, didn’t try to lead her there. As lightning flashed outside and thunder reverberated in the silence, she realized he was waiting for a response from her. She could still back out. She could leave. She could keep her heart safe. But what was the point of having a heart if she couldn’t let it reach for the person she wanted most?

“Make love to me, Vince,” she whispered.

He swept her up into his arms and carried her through the living room, down the hall to his bedroom.

Tessa hadn’t so much as peeked into Vince’s bedroom during her other visits to his house. Now as the light from the hall illuminated it, the heavy pine dresser and king-size bed with its navy and gray comforter barely registered.

He set her by the side of the bed, switched on the table light and turned back the bedding. Then he took off his shirt and tossed it to a chair.

When his hand went to his belt buckle, Tessa covered his fingers with hers. “Let me,” she offered, wanting to be a full partner in this, needing Vince to know she wasn’t a shy seventeen-year-old virgin anymore.

His belt was stubborn, the leather stiff. She worked at it until it was loose.

When she unsnapped his fly, he sucked in a breath. “If you’re going to strip me,” he joked, “I’d better pull off my boots.”

She waited as he sat on the bed and did just that, then he reached for her, pulling her between his legs, lying back on the bed and taking her with him. His kisses were creative, sensual and so erotic she tingled all over. When she reached inside his fly and cupped his erection, he groaned and rolled her under him. His thighs between hers and his weight on top of her excited her.

This was Vince…her first love…her only love.

Tessa wanted to prolong each kiss, each caress. She relearned the definition of Vince’s muscles and explored his mature male body, relegating the past into the past, appreciating the present and every nuance of the desire they were sharing. They finished stripping off each other’s clothes, curious about each new revelation.

When Vince saw the small butterfly tattoo on Tessa’s hip, he whistled long and low. “What’s this?”

“Rebellion,” she replied truthfully. “I got it the day I finished my residency. I guess it symbolized being on my own, trying out my wings.”

His lips traced the edges of the tattoo. Then he lifted his head and asked, “How many men have seen this?”

“Vince—”

“How many, Tessa?”

“Only you,” she replied softly as rain began a hard rat-a-tat on the roof. Tessa knew as long as she was with Vince, she’d feel safe in
any
storm.

He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her in a way that was demanding and claiming. Their bodies glistened with the give and take of their pleasure until Vince rose above her, slowly entering her. As she received him, Tessa knew fulfillment and satisfaction that had eluded her ever since she was a teenager. Now she was grateful for it, grateful for Vince, grateful for the dream that was unfolding in her heart once more. Her dreams had died when she’d lost their baby…when Vince had left. She’d known she’d become a doctor someday, but that had been a goal, not a dream. Dreams filled with romance and white tulle and babies and parent-teacher meetings and a man who would hold on forever had been blown away like sand in the wind. But tonight, she dared to dream again. She dared to give her heart along with her body. As she and Vince reached for the sublime peak together, as he watched her pleasure and she watched his, as he thrust into her and she asked for more, everything she’d ever wanted seemed to be within her grasp.

They climaxed together and she held on tight, praying this night she and Vince would truly become one.

Was this the way his father had needed his mother? Was this need the reason that her abandonment had driven his dad to find escape in alcohol? If Vince gave in to his feelings for Tessa, what would happen if she left? What would happen if she couldn’t accept Sean as her own? What would happen if this time he couldn’t figure out how to do it right?

“Should I get him?” Tessa mumbled into Vince’s chest.

How easy it would be to share responsibility, to depend on Tessa to parent, too.

“No, I’ll get him.” Vince moved away from Tessa, conflicted by all of it.

She must have felt an emotional withdrawal as well as his physical one because she pushed herself up onto an elbow and then sat up. “I can start breakfast. Does Sean like scrambled eggs?”

Vince grabbed for his jeans that had landed on the floor last night. “He likes scrambled eggs and little bits of toast with butter.”

“That’s easy enough,” she said brightly, hopping out of bed and finding her clothes, too.

He zipped his fly and was halfway to the door when she asked, “Vince, is everything okay?”

Denial was a hard habit to break. “Everything’s fine. By the time you scramble the eggs, Sean will be dressed and ready for his high chair.”

Taking a detour from his path out the door, he went to Tessa, kissed her and vividly remembered everything he’d felt while they’d made love last night. But after the kiss, as he left her in the bedroom, he couldn’t help trying to make some sense out of his life.

A half hour later, he was sitting at the table with Tessa and Sean, buttering a second piece of toast when his phone rang. After he reached for the cordless phone on the counter, he checked the caller ID. It was Janet.

“Good morning, Janet.”

“Oh good, Vince, I got you at home. I’m on my way back from a church service and I wondered if I could stop by. I don’t want to intrude on your morning, but it’s…important.”

He had to remain hospitable, open, friendly. Though the truth was, he was already tired of Sean’s great-aunt poking into his life. He hated the feeling that someone was looking over his shoulder and watching every move he made.

“We’re just eating breakfast. You can have a cup of coffee with us…or tea.”

“I just need to talk to you about something. I won’t stay long.”

As Vince hung up the phone, he suddenly lost his appetite.

“Janet’s coming over?” Tessa asked.

“Yes, she’ll be here in a few minutes.”

“Do you want me to disappear?”

“No. She can think whatever she wants. All she’s going to see is the three of us having breakfast.”

Tessa frowned as if she didn’t like that answer, but she didn’t say anything else, just fed Sean a few more spoonfuls of scrambled eggs.

A short time later, when Janet arrived, Tessa greeted her with a smile then proceeded to load the dishwasher, leaving Vince to make explanations. He didn’t really. He just said, “Tessa joined us for breakfast.”

After Janet made a fuss over Sean, she took a sheaf of papers from her purse. Looking determined, she handed them to Vince.

“I’d like you to look over those and then sign them.”

Vince took the papers, not imagining what they might be. But when he opened them, he saw the heading at the top read Visitation Agreement with the header of a law firm in Lubbock. As he glanced down the first sheet, he read legal mumbo jumbo. The words “weekends every three months” and “two weeks in the summer” leaped out at him. He held on to his temper, knowing that losing it would do no earthly good.

“Why would I ever consider signing these?”

Janet looked nervous but determined. “Because I think you’re a fair man. I think you can understand that I want to be involved in Sean’s life. I could go after legal guardianship, you know, saying I could give Sean a more stable life in Santa Fe. But I think he’s happy and well cared for with you, and of course, there’s the age problem with me. I don’t want this to be a fight, Vince. I just want to make sure you don’t cut me out of Sean’s life.”

“You really believe I would do that?”

“Maybe not intentionally. But if you move someplace else, if you’re too busy to send pictures, if my visits just aren’t convenient for you, I could go six months to a year without seeing him. What I want you to do is think about this, okay? If you do, you’ll realize I’m not asking for much. Call me when you’ve decided.”

After a weak smile for Tessa, and a hug and kiss for Sean, Janet exited Vince’s condo, leaving silence in her wake.

Vince tossed the papers on the table and swore, muttering, “I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.”

Tessa picked them up, glancing over them. “She isn’t asking for a lot of time. This is four weekends a year and two weeks in the summer. It even states that she’ll come to you until Sean’s old enough to visit her on his own. She named sixteen as a possible age.”

“I’ll have to see a lawyer,” Vince said tersely, feeling trapped, analyzing his options.

“Don’t you think it will best if you and Janet figure this out together?”

“She wants me to sign a legal document that affects my life with Sean! Whose side are you on, anyway?”

“I’m on
your
side. But I want you to think about something. If you had family, you might be giving more than this amount of time to
them
.”

Vince thought about his dad and how if he were alive, he wouldn’t want him anywhere around Sean. He thought about his mother who had deserted them both.

“I don’t want to sign an agreement like this.”

“Maybe you can negotiate with Janet. Maybe if you assure her you’re going to stay in this area…”

Vince held up his hand. “I’m not going to let Janet use a visitation agreement as emotional blackmail, to control what I do or don’t do.”

Now Tessa’s expression changed. Silence vibrated between them until she asked suddenly, “Did last night mean anything to you?”

“Of course it did!”

She set the visitation papers on the table. “You’re not acting as if it did. This morning you’ve pulled away from what we’ve shared as if you’re trying to distance yourself from…us.”

Sean began crying to be released from his high chair. Vince felt torn. He wanted to go to Tessa and reassure her, yet his son needed him. Seeing his obvious dilemma, Tessa went to Sean herself, unharnessed him and picked him up.

She laid her cheek against his and told Sean, “I think you and your dad need some time together. I’m going to leave so you can have it.” She kissed Sean’s forehead and murmured, “But I’m going to miss you,” then handed Sean to Vince.

“Don’t go. Not like this.”

Tessa picked up her purse from the counter. “We both need to think about last night and what it means.” Then before Sean could say Da-da again, Tessa left Vince’s house, leaving Vince alone in his kitchen…holding his son.