Baby It's Cold Outside (3 page)

‘And then, when I woke up, you were packing,' she said. ‘And we fought again. And then you left.'

Jamie shrugged.

‘It was the right thing to do,' he said. ‘If I'd stayed we'd have been in a never-ending cycle of making up and breaking up.'

‘You're right,' Tansy said. ‘You're right. And then I got sick. Really sick. I had malaria too. First they took me to hospital in Mombasa – then, when I was strong enough, I flew home.' She paused. ‘I don't remember much about it.'

Jamie didn't speak. Tansy twirled her wine glass in her hand. I willed her to drink some more so I could legitimately top up her glass – and mine – but she didn't.

‘When I'd been home a few days the doctor told me I was pregnant,' she said. ‘I was shocked at first, but it was knowing that I had a reason to recover that got me through.'

I thought about saying something, then Jamie gave me a warning glance and I thought better of it.

‘I was a mess, Jamie,' Tansy said. ‘I was weak and depressed, and I didn't know what to do. By the time I'd got it all clear in my head, Parker was born. Then there was baby stuff, and work…'

‘Work?' Jamie prompted.

‘At the hospital in Boston,' she said. ‘And one day a week at a mobile clinic working with pregnant women in the suburbs.'

‘You're helping people at home,' Jamie said.

She nodded.

‘So there was never a good time to tell you.'

‘Why now?' I said. ‘Why are you here? Now?'

Tansy looked at her son again. Her son. I still couldn't think of him as Jamie's.

‘Parker got sick,' she began. The hostility I'd been feeling towards her since she arrived finally spilled over.

‘Oh well isn't that awful,' I said, my voice laced with possibly unforgiveable sarcasm. ‘So what is it you want from Jamie? A few pints of blood? A smattering of bone marrow? A kidney?'

Tansy flinched as I hissed at her. Then she looked at Jamie again, calmly ignoring my outburst.

‘He's fine,' she said. ‘It's all under control. He's got …' she named an illness that I'd never heard of, but Jamie nodded.

‘Is it serious?' I asked.

Tansy made a so-so gesture with her hand. ‘Could have been,' she said. ‘It affects his digestion so when he first got sick he got really thin and he had no energy. It was awful. He was disappearing in front of my eyes. He'll never be cured but we keep an eye on his diet, and there are pills he can have if it gets bad. Sometimes he has to go into hospital if he has a really bad attack but that's not happened for a while.'

Jamie looked thoughtful.

‘It's hereditary, right?'

‘Can be,' Tansy said. ‘I've been tested and I don't have it, so it could be you.'

Jamie shook his head, as though he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. I didn't blame him.

‘And of course this affects you too,' Tansy said, looking at me again. ‘I heard you were getting married and I wanted to warn you that any kids you have could have it too.'

I stared at her. This was too much to take in.

‘I was going to email you,' Tansy went on. ‘But Mom went mad. She said I had to do it face to face.'

‘She sounds like a very sensible woman, your mother,' Mum said, from the doorway.

We all jumped and I wondered how long she'd been there.

‘Sorry to interrupt,' she said. ‘The weather is terrible, Tansy. Do you have somewhere to go?'

Tansy shook her head.

‘We're booked into a hotel in Edinburgh,' she said. ‘I guess we'll not get back there tonight?'

Mum chuckled.

‘Even without the snow you wouldn't make it back to Edinburgh at this time of night. I think you and Parker will have to stay the night.'

Tansy looked as though she was going to object, then she glanced at her son, curled up peacefully next to her and smiled at Mum.

‘That's so kind of you,' she said, politely.

‘I've made up the spare room,' Mum said. ‘I think it's time we all went to bed, don't you?'

Jamie and I looked at each other. He raised an eyebrow and I shrugged. We didn't have a spare room. Apparently, though, that wasn't a problem. Just as the table had grown to accommodate Eva and Allan, so the house had expanded to fit Tansy and Parker. I guessed that meant they were welcome in our home and the idea made my heart sink a little bit.

‘I'm exhausted,' I said, standing up. ‘Let's talk more tomorrow.'

‘I'll be up in a bit,' Jamie said, giving me a kiss.

I looked at Tansy.

‘It was nice to meet you,' I lied. Then I fled.

Chapter 3

I scuttled up the stairs, wanting nothing more than to get into bed, pull the duvet over my head and shut out all thoughts of Tansy and Parker and inherited diseases. My mind was racing. What did Tansy's arrival mean for Jamie? And me? What about the wedding? Our future? I needed to sleep on it and see if it all made more sense in the morning.

On the landing I paused. The door opposite me was the airing cupboard and next to that, where normally there was a blank wall, was another identical door. This had to be the mysterious spare room. Cautiously, I turned the handle and peered round the door. It was a spare room all right. It was small, with two single beds, each covered in a rainbow-striped crocheted blanket – Suky's handiwork I assumed. She loved to crochet and had whiled away her hours of cancer treatment creating blankets like these. There was one in just about every room in the house and they were perfect for snuggling up under on cold winter nights like tonight, especially as the ramshackle house was never very warm. Tansy and Parker would be glad of those blankets, I thought.

In between the beds was a small chest of drawers and on top of that was a lamp that was bathing the room in a warm, orange glow. One of Allan's prints was on the wall and the whole room looked cosy and welcoming. I frowned. I didn't want Tansy getting too comfortable.

Hearing soft voices from down the hall, I closed the door again and went to Harry's room. I knocked gently.

‘H,' I whispered. ‘Are you awake?'

‘Come in,' Harry called. I slunk round the door and grinned at her sheepishly.

‘Got time for a chat?' I asked.

Harry, who was in bed, rolled her eyes but she leaned forward and patted the end of the duvet anyway.

‘Come on then,' she said, like she was talking to Mum's old grumpy cat Bella. ‘Come and sit down.'

I made myself comfy on the end of the bed, pulling Harry's crocheted blanket over my legs and leaning back against the iron bedstead.

Harry and Lou were sitting up, looking at me expectantly. Harry was wearing cute silky pyjamas in a dark grey that suited her swarthy colouring and looked more glamorous in her nightwear than I did on a night out. Louise was wearing Harry's old Harvard University T-shirt.

I pushed aside the papers Harry had been frowning at when I came in the room – she never stopped working. Louise had been reading a leaflet, which she'd pushed under her pillow as I entered. Now she smiled at me.

‘What's going on?' she asked, her pretty face concerned. ‘Is Jamie okay?'

She and Jamie were old friends from their university days and they shared an easy affection that I'd once been very jealous of. Now though, I had bigger things to worry about.

‘He's a bit floored, I think,' I said. Harry squeezed my hand sympathetically.

‘Not surprised,' she said. ‘Is the wee boy definitely his?'

‘Looks like it,' I said. ‘I don't see why she'd lie.'

Louise looked serious.

‘You'd be amazed what people will do,' she said. She knew what she was talking about. Her job as a DI in the Edinburgh police CID brought her into contact with all sorts of unsavoury characters.

I grimaced.

‘I know,' I said. ‘But she seems genuine.'

‘So why is she here?' Harry asked. ‘Is she still here?'

I nodded.

‘The snow's too bad for her to go now,' I said. ‘And that's another reason I think she's genuine. She's staying in the spare room.'

‘Ohhhh,' said Harry.

Lou looked bewildered.

‘What?' she said. ‘What have I missed?'

Harry nudged her affectionately.

‘I forget you're an outsider,' she said. ‘We don't have a spare room here, do we? Think about it.'

‘We're in here,' Louise said, counting on her fingers. ‘Ez and Jamie are next door, Tess is down the hall and Suky's in the attic room.'

She looked from Harry to me in confusion.

‘So where's the spare room?'

‘It's next to the airing cupboard,' I said. ‘It's nice. The house has obviously made its mind up.'

‘Sometimes, if we need an extra room – and the house thinks we deserve it – one appears. Just for as long as we need it for,' Harry said.

‘And does this happen often?' Louise said.

‘I only remember it happening once before,' Harry said. ‘When we had a huge family get together one Halloween. Remember Ez?'I shuddered. I remembered it well. It was back in the days when I was trying to shrug off witchcraft and anything related to it – including my family – and I'd not lasted long at the party.

‘And once, when I was little – Ez you were tiny so you probably won't remember – a friend of Gran's came to stay. The house didn't make an extra room for her. I don't know why.'

Louise shook her head.

‘Just when I think I'm getting the hang of this stuff,' she said, smiling. Then she looked at me, her expression more serious. ‘But what about you?' she said. ‘What do you think about all this?'

‘Don't be nice,' I said, looking up at the ceiling and blinking furiously. ‘Don't be nice or I will cry.'

Harry patted my leg through the crocheted blanket.

‘Come on fatso,' she said. ‘Tell us what's going on in that ugly head of yours.'

It was my turn to shake my head.

‘I have no idea what to think,' I wailed. ‘This Tansy has arrived and she's smart and gorgeous. And Jamie's got a child. And the little boy has some disease that Jamie might pass on. And we're supposed to be getting married!'

‘Breathe, Esme,' Harry said. ‘What do you mean the little boy has a disease? Is he ill? Does she want Jamie's kidneys or something?'

‘That's what I thought,' I said. ‘But apparently the kid's fine now. But it's some inherited thing that Jamie must carry and she thought he should know.'

‘Gosh, that's nice of her,' Louise said. I gave her a death stare and she shut her mouth.

‘It's not like we haven't both got a past,' I said.

‘Well you certainly have,' Harry pointed out. Quite unhelpfully, I thought, though she had a point. Jamie and I had been teenage sweethearts but we'd split up and lost touch for a decade largely because of my pig-headedness. Then when we finally did meet up again, a few years ago, I'd been involved in an unhappy office romance with a married man. Yes, I know, it's horrible and I wasn't proud of that one. We finally got it together, only for me to ruin it all again. Though this time it wasn't entirely my fault – I'd been under a bad spell and it had made me act – well, let's just say… completely out of character. But we were back on track now, planning our wedding and our future together. A future that was now in question.

Harry realised she'd gone too far. She gave my leg a reassuring rub.

‘You and Jamie are rock solid, Ez,' she said. ‘You'll get through this.'

‘She's right,' Louise said. ‘It'll be fine. Just make sure you and Jamie work together on this and it'll all work out.'

‘Promise?' I asked.

Harry winked at me.

‘I promise,' she said. ‘I promise we'll help you however we can.'

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

‘That's them,' I said, freezing. ‘I'm not going out there until I know she's gone.'

We sat in silence, listening as the door to the new spare room opened and closed, then opened again. I heard Tansy's footsteps padding along the hall to the bathroom, water ran and the toilet flushed, then the spare room door opened and closed again, and all was quiet.

I leaned over and kissed first Lou and then Harry.

‘Thanks for listening to me,' I said. ‘Maybe it will all seem better in the morning.'

‘Maybe,' said Harry, but she didn't sound very certain.

I slid off the bed and quietly crept down the hall to my childhood bedroom – the room I was now sharing with Jamie. I opened the door and went in. Jamie was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. He looked up when I entered.

‘Oh Esme,' he said. ‘What are we going to do?' His voice cracked and my heart melted. I stood in front of him and wrapped my arms around him. He rested his head against my chest and I bent and kissed the top of his blond hair.

‘It's going to be okay,' I said. ‘We can work this out if we stick together.'

He looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes.

‘Are we okay?' he said. ‘Me and you?'

‘Of course we are,' I said. ‘Of course we are.'

Jamie slumped against me, relieved and exhausted. Like he was a child, I helped him pull off his T-shirt and jeans and tucked him into bed. It could be good practice for being a step-mum I thought to myself ruefully as I stroked his hair just like Tansy had stroked Parker's. When I was sure he was asleep, I tucked myself under the duvet, stripped off my clothes and wriggled into my pyjamas – years of living in this chilly house had made me an expert in getting dressed without exposing any skin to the cold air. I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep a wink, but within seconds my eyelids were heavy. I just hoped everything would be okay tomorrow.

Saturday

Chapter 4