Baby It's Cold Outside (4 page)

When I woke up the next morning the room was filled with a cool, grey light. I slipped quietly out of bed so as not to wake Jamie – who was finally sleeping peacefully after tossing and turning most of the night. Wrapping my dressing gown round me, I went to the window and peeked out. My bedroom was at the front of the house and the road outside was blanketed in a thick layer of snow. Our house sat high up on the hill overlooking the town, so normally I could see down into the glen and if I stuck my head out of the window – and the trees weren't too lush – I could see the loch glinting below all the houses. Now though, I couldn't see a thing. It was still snowing, much more gently than it had last night. The window was covered in spiders' webs made of ice and though the trees opposite were bare, they were groaning under the weight of snow heaped on their branches. I couldn't see down into town at all because it was kind of misty and just really snowy. I was thrilled and I hugged myself in excitement. When we'd planned our wedding for this time of year, we'd hoped for snow – Claddach was so beautiful in winter.

Thinking of the wedding made me remember everything that had happened yesterday. I wondered if Tansy was still here or if she and Parker had gone to find a hotel closer to Claddach than Edinburgh was (I allowed myself a brief smirk at Tansy's grasp of Scottish geography, conveniently ignoring the fact that I had a very shaky knowledge of what was where in the States). I decided to go downstairs and find out.

As I got close to the kitchen though I heard laughter and Tansy's American twang. Apparently she was still here.

She was sitting at the table, her long fingers wrapped around a mug of black coffee. Parker was sitting next to her, munching on a piece of toast, and Harry and Louise were sitting with them – both laughing uproariously at a joke I'd not heard.

‘Oh,' I said, put out to see my cousin making friends with someone who was, to all intents and purposes, my rival.

‘Morning, Ez,' Harry said. ‘Guess what? I was at Harvard the same time as Tansy – different departments of course, but we know some of the same people. Isn't that amazing?'

I bristled.

‘Isn't it?' I said. I picked up the kettle and filled it up from the tap.

‘Your home is lovely,' Tansy said. ‘I was just thanking Harry and Louise for making us so welcome.'

‘Did you sleep okay?' said Louise to Tansy, but winking at me as she said it. ‘Not many people use that room.'

‘Great,' said Tansy. ‘We were snug as bugs.'

‘I like bugs,' said Parker. It was the first time I'd heard him speak.

‘Do you?' said Lou. ‘What kind of bugs do you like?'

Parker grinned at her, showing perfect teeth and – I had to admit – dimples in each cheek that were pretty damn cute.

‘All of ‘em,' he said. ‘Do you know bees are found on every continent except Antarctica?'

I blinked at him in surprise. I didn't know much about small children but I was fairly sure they didn't all talk like biology textbooks.

Tansy ruffled his hair.

‘We're kind of science geeks back home,' she said. ‘My mom and dad both teach at the university.'

‘University?' I said faintly.

‘Harvard,' Harry said helpfully.

‘Oh,' I said, feeling slightly inadequate despite my law degree.

‘Parker's very interested in the world around him,' Tansy explained. There was a pause as Harry, Louise and I all gazed at Parker who was dropping bits of toast on the floor and watching as Bella the cat sniffed them.

‘So we'll be out of your hair soon,' Tansy said. ‘I've just been online and I managed to book us into a hotel in Inverness for tonight – that's nearby, right? But if you've not got anything on today, and if it's okay with you, I'd like Jamie to spend some time with Parker before we go.'

‘Jamie's my dad,' Parker told me, his little brow furrowed. ‘But he didn't know he was my dad until yesterday.'

‘No,' I said. ‘He didn't.' I gave Tansy a fierce look that she ignored.

‘I have another dad,' Parker said.

‘You do?'

‘His name is Michael. He and Mommy do kissing like this.'

He screwed his face up and gave the back of his hand a smacker. Harry snorted with laughter. Tansy looked embarrassed.

‘Michael's my partner,' she said. ‘We've been together since Parker was two so he's like a dad to him.'

‘Jamie's his dad,' I said, feeling defensive suddenly.

‘I know,' Tansy said. ‘There's space in Parker's heart for both of them.'

I eyed her suspiciously. Was there space in her heart for both of them? Was that what she was telling me?

‘I'm sorry,' Tansy said, changing the subject suddenly. ‘I really had no idea it was your wedding this week. We'd planned to stay for two weeks but I'm going to call the airline and change our flights. We'll be out of your way as soon as possible.'

I looked at Parker who was busy explaining how bees make honey to a rapt Harry. He was so little and he'd been dragged across the Atlantic and halfway round Scotland already. It didn't seem fair to send him home again without getting to know his dad properly. And it certainly wasn't fair to Jamie, who'd barely have time to get his head round Parker's existence before he went away again.

‘Don't go,' I said, surprising myself. ‘Stay a bit longer. Talk to Jamie. He wants to meet Parker properly. Stay for the wedding if you like.'

Tansy shook her head.

‘Esme that is so sweet but this is a big week for you guys.' She paused. ‘We won't go straightaway though. I guess we could stay until Monday –or Tuesday – if we can get on a flight.'

I was awe-struck at her decisiveness.

‘Okay then,' I said. ‘It's a deal. I'm going to tell Jamie what's happening, and then I'll get out of your way – I want to go and see my dress anyway. You've got a lot to talk about.'

Chapter 5

Feeling like a proper grown-up for once, and smug that I was handling this whole thing so maturely, I went upstairs to find Jamie. He was getting dressed and I waited for him to pull a jumper over his T-shirt, before I went to him and hugged him.

‘Tansy's downstairs,' I said. ‘I'm going to walk into town and see if my dress has arrived – give you some space to talk.'

Jamie kissed me.

‘Thanks for being so brilliant about all this,' he said. ‘My head's all over the place, but knowing you're on my side really helps.'

I rubbed his back under his thick jumper.

‘Of course,' I said. ‘I'm not going to let a teeny-tiny thing like an ex-fiancée and a son you didn't know existed come between us.'

Jamie chuckled gratefully.

‘Come on then,' he said. ‘I suppose I should go and meet Parker.'

‘He's pretty special,' I told him as we went downstairs. ‘Harry is smitten.'

‘Harry?' Jamie said, incredulous at the thought of my un-maternal cousin being smitten with anyone under the age of thirty. ‘He really must be special.'

At the bottom of the stairs was Douglas, clad again in his thick jacket and hat. I stared at him in horror. With all the business with Tansy and Parker, I'd completely forgotten about my mother's new “boyfriend”. Was he coming or going, I wondered. Had he been here all night? I shuddered at the thought.

‘Harry says you're going into town,' he said. ‘I'm going to come with you.'

I opened my mouth to say no, but Jamie elbowed me sharply in the ribs.

‘That's a good idea,' he said, smiling at Douglas. ‘The weather's terrible – you can huddle together for warmth.'

I scowled at him, regretting how understanding I'd been about Tansy. Then I saw his scared face as he looked at the kitchen door and felt sorry for him again.

‘It'll be fine,' I said, squeezing his hand. ‘I'll be home in an hour or so. I love you.'

Jamie gave me a quick kiss.

‘I love you too,' he said. Then, without a backward glance, he disappeared through the kitchen door.

Douglas waited patiently as I put on a thin fleece, a thicker jacket, a beanie hat also made of fleece that was brilliantly warm, scarf, gloves and boots, then we stepped outside. It was freezing. It had obviously snowed all night, though it had stopped now. The sky was heavy and as white as the landscape. It was quiet and still and very beautiful.

‘Wow,' said Douglas. ‘I've not seen snow like this for years.'

I took a step into the soft snow covering the garden path – it was almost up to my knees and I was thankful for my sturdy boots and thick trousers. We waddled towards the road in an undignified fashion.

‘There's something magical about virgin snow,' Douglas said. ‘I've always loved being the first person to make footprints.'

I looked at him and gave him a brief smile. I'd always loved it too, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

Out on the street the snow was just as deep, obviously, a foot or more, with steep piles at the side of the road where the wind had blown the powder into drifts. A couple of cars had obviously driven up this far – Tansy's taxi for one – before the snow had got too bad, but even their tracks were covered now.

Carefully we began to tramp down the hill, hugging the hedges of the houses we passed and using the branches for support.

‘I wonder if they'll bring the snowplough up here,' I said, mostly to myself. Douglas shrugged.

‘They should do,' he said. ‘Bet they're busy though.'

We trudged on in silence. I sneaked a few glances at Douglas as we walked. He was tall and thin and seemed to be taking great pleasure from our surroundings. He was breathing deeply and looking at the scenery in satisfaction. As we rounded a bend, there was a break in the trees and Claddach spread out beneath us. To our right the mountain – Ben Claddach – loomed above the road, its pine trees covered in snow and its tip wrapped in a cloud. At the bottom of the road was the town itself, barely visible because every roof was covered in snow, and the loch. Its water was normally inky black but today it was like the surface of a mirror. It was silvery grey and reflected the jagged, snowy tips of the hills close by.

It was hard work just keeping upright on the walk down the hill and I was soon out of breath, even though I was in pretty good shape. Douglas, I noticed, was barely breathing heavily. As we reached the foot of the hill I paused to loosen my scarf – the walk had left me feeling warm – and Douglas turned to look at me.

‘Oh god,' I thought. ‘Please don't tell me how much you love my mum.'

‘I really love your mother,' Douglas said. I grimaced but he carried on regardless. ‘I don't much care whether you like me or not, but I know us getting on would make Tess happy.'

I blinked in surprise. I hadn't expected that. Douglas's slightly fierce expression softened. ‘I also know how you're feeling,' he said. ‘My dad left before I was born so it was just Mum, my brother and me for a long time. Mum remarried when I was sixteen. I wasn't exactly welcoming towards her husband.'

He grinned at me suddenly, looking much younger.

‘We get along great now,' he said. ‘It's only taken fifty years to iron out our differences.'

I gave him a cautious smile.

‘There's a lot happening,' I said. I didn't want to say that he was the least of my worries, but that's what I meant. ‘I'll try.'

It was the most I could manage and I knew it wasn't good enough, but Douglas seemed pleased. He gave me a brisk nod and we carried on into town. I loved Claddach anyway, but in the snow it was like something out of a fairytale. There was hardly traffic, so it was quiet and the thick snow muffled what little noise there was.

The single set of traffic lights on the road to the main town square changed silently from red to green and back again. The shops were open though – it would take more than a blizzard to shut Claddach – and there were people milling about. A band of riotous teenagers were ducking in and around the town hall steps where they normally all sat smoking sulkily, glaring at passers-by. They were chucking snowballs at each other and laughing uproariously. A group of women were clearing the area outside the shops, the shovels scraping on the pavement.

‘This is me,' said Douglas. We were outside the funeral parlour. It had been here for years but I'd never paid much attention to it before. It had a large window of smoked glass, with floor-length vertical blinds. There was a discreet floral display in the window, being arranged by a woman about my own age. She had brown hair pulled back into a neat bun, and she was wearing a smart black suit and sensible court shoes.

‘That's Kirsty, my niece,' Douglas said. ‘Would you like to come in and meet her? I think you'll get on.'

I looked at Kirsty, bustling through to the back of the shop in her bank manager outfit and thought I doubted that.

‘I'd love to,' I said. I gestured vaguely behind myself. ‘But I have to go and do… stuff. Bye.'

I felt Douglas's eyes on my back as I trudged through the snow across the square, towards Leona's wedding dress shop. Snow started falling again, lightly, and I pulled my scarf round my neck once more. Leona's shop was up a wee side street and for a moment I thought she wasn't open. The snow outside the door was fresh and untouched. I stopped, biting my lip in concern, and then Leona came out from a narrow passageway, carrying two shovels and wearing an enormous furry hat.

‘Esme,' she said with a wide grin as she saw me. She leaned the shovels up against the wall and gave me an awkward hug because both of us were wrapped in so many layers that it was like we were wearing fat suits.

‘I've just been clearing the car park,' she said. ‘I've got a very special delivery coming this afternoon…' she gave me a violent nudge, ‘… I don't want the van not to make it.'