Backfire (23 page)

It was on the morning local news.  They were calling for cooler temperatures in the morning, and mid seventies and lower eighties for later in the afternoon.  She remembered how hot it was down and Texas and couldn’t help but wonder how much hotter things were where Mikey was. 

Sitting in the middle of the floor, she tucked her legs beneath her and watched with anticipation, hoping deep inside that they would have good news to report.  The images and videos that flashed across the screen made her sick.  There were planes flying over, dropping water down over the area.  There were pictures of areas already stricken with the fires, replicating what looked like an apocalypse movie.  

The ticker at the bottom of the screen caught her attention.  Leaning forward, she tuned out the news anchors and read it. 

Missing
FDNY Firefigh
t
er Michael McGinnis
of Ladder Twenty One in Hell’s Kitchen
and Manor
, Texas
Firefighter Jack Lawton presumed dead.

She lay on the floor, still keeping an eye on the TV, hoping that the report was wrong and that the anchor would come on and say that they were misinformed.  The media had made mistakes before, why not now? They didn’t stay too long on the report and the only thing Eva caught from it was that the search efforts had been ceased.  They were reverting back to the fires nearing the city of Bastrop.  Tears fell uncontrollably and she buried her face in the carpet, finally finding the courage to turn the TV off. 

Silence overtook the apartment.  Only the sounds of her whimpers echoed throughout the empty walls.  How could they just give up?  What were they thinking?  Sitting up, she wiped her tears away with a tissue, instantly soaking through it.  Trying to calm down, she fought with herself on turning the TV on again.

Her cell phone rang, drawing her attention away from the remote.  It was in the bedroom and she debated on not bothering with it, but the small shred of hope she had left inside of her could only wonder if it was Mikey.  She knew it was far fetched, but there was still that very minimal chance that it could be him. 

Running down the hall, she felt defeated when she saw that it was Gregg’s name flashing on her caller ID.  Sinking down in the bed, she answered it, trying to hide the fact that she was losing control. 

“Hello?” Her voice was shaky and she was congested from crying.

“Eva?  Hey, are you okay?”

She closed her eyes.  “I just found out that Mikey has been declared dead.  How do you think I’m doing?” She gripped the phone tightly, wishing she’d just wake up and be in his arms. 

“I know. I just saw.  Do you need anything?” 

Eva was confused.  She had gotten close to Gregg when Mikey was in the hospital, but they had never been close enough to be confidants.  They’d all go out for occasional dinners and double dates.  She got along well with his
girlfriend
, but the friendship never progressed past that. 

“No.  I’m just…” She trailed off, her eyes looking up at the ceiling. 

“You’re what?”

“I don’t know.”

There was a short silence on the phone.  “Look, I’m coming over.  You don’t need to be alone right now.  I’ll be there within the next thirty minutes.”

“No, Gregg, don’t.  I…”

“Too late, I’m on my way.  I’ll call you when I get to your stoop.”  He hung up and she fought the urge to throw the phone across the room.  She didn’t want to be alone, but she also didn’t want to see anyone and deal with their sympathy, either.  She wondered if Betty had heard the news.  She was almost certain.  It was likely that the Manor Fire Department had probably contacted her about it.  She wasn’t quite ready to call her about it. 

And what about Casey? Eva hadn’t even talked to him since they had left Austin.  How was he handling the news of him being missing?  He was so emotionally fragile that if he relapsed now, she almost couldn’t blame him for it. 

She slowly walked back to the living room, hugging herself. She clutched the phone in her hand, not wanting it to leave her possession for a second.  She dialed Mikey’s number, her pulse racing so fast that she almost misdialed.  What if he answered?  What if luck was on their side?  It went straight to voicemail, sending another dagger to her faith in all of this.

“Hey, this is Michael. Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

Just the sound of his voice made the tears start flowing again.  Leaning against the kitchen counter, she ducked her head and lost control.  Her cries were loud and she was certain that her neighbors could probably hear her breakdown.  She sifted through her text messages, reading the last few that he had sent her.  It was a mistake, but she couldn’t help but read through all of them.  They were all pretty generic.  They had sent a few back and forth about how they missed and loved each other.  The last one received said that he would be home soon and to not worry.  Eva felt anger toward the message and pushed the phone away. 

The buzz from the intercom made her jump.  Mashing the button, she knew who it was but still felt the need to ask, “Who is it?”

“It’s Gregg. Buzz me up.”

She did, still hesitant to even let him in.  Opening the door, she couldn’t even look him in the eye.  He pulled her in for a tight hug and again, Eva started bawling. 

“He’s still alive, Eva.”

She pulled away, surprised at his abrupt statement.  “What makes you so sure?”

“I just am.”

Nodding, she sat down on the couch. “It’s obvious you haven’t been watching the coverage of it all, Gregg.”

He sat down in the recliner adjacent to her.  The chair that Mikey loved to lounge around in on his days off or when a good baseball game was on.  Eva almost wanted to tell Gregg to move, that he wasn’t allowed to sit there, but she bit her bottom lip and kept her mouth shut. 

“No, I don’t watch much.  They overdramatize what’s really happening, especial
ly when they find a tie-in
to the story that people can relate to.  I know those fires are bad.  I’m not saying that.  I’m just saying I don’t think Mikey would go down so easy.”

“I wish I had that optimistic outlook, but right now I just don’t.” She grabbed another tissue and clasped it between her fingers.  “I’ve had a bad feeling since the beginning.  My instincts were right.  What do we do now? I just can’t sit around and wait.”

Gregg leaned forward in the chair, looking her straight in the eye.  “Well, my instincts are saying that it’s all going to work out. And as for what to do…” He pursed his lips as he thought.  “We pray.  We keep having faith that he’ll walk out okay.  We owe Mikey that much, at least.”

Eva stared at him in disbelief.  “Excuse me if I laugh at what you just said. Keep faith?  He’s been handed shit his whole life, Gregg, don’t you realize that?  Excuse me if I don’t have any faith right now. When’s it gonna end?”  She stood up and went to the window.  The city was active as people passed by on the sidewalk, going about their every day lives.  The world was continuing to spin.  The sun was still shining.  No one cared that two men were lost in an inferno that was hell on earth.  It would be stupid to even expect people to care.  She just wished there was more they could do.  Sitting around and waiting didn’t feel right, but they couldn’t just stroll down to the fires and start their own search party.  She had to be realistic with the situation.

“My point exactly, Eva.  My point, exactly.”

She pressed her forehead against the glass, catching right on to what Gregg was insinuating.  If anyone could get through a crisis, it would be Mikey.  If she had half the resiliency that man did, she’d be doing just fine. 

Chapter Eighteen

As the day progressed, Michael got worse.  The pain in his chest was sharp, hindering him from being able to move much at all.  His breaths came out in sharp pants and with every second, the pain grew worse.  The wound in his side was still bleeding, but thankfully wasn’t as bad as earlier.  He could only go about ten steps before he had to stop.  The fire was moving at a much quicker pace than they were going.  When it came down to it, Michael didn’t want to be left behind, but each time he looked at Trevor, he reminded himself why it was important to let Lawton get him out.

“Lawton, I’m serious.  It’s time to leave me behind and get him out of here.” He pointed at Trevor, set on not taking no for an answer.  “I’m getting worse.  The fire is moving faster.  It’s a no brainer.”  He sat down, feeling some alleviation from the pain for the first time in a few hours.

Trevor sat beside him, handing him his canteen that he had dangling from his neck.  “Are you getting sicker?”  The boy looked up at him with such innocence, still seeming to be unaware of the immediate danger they were in. 

Michael shook his head yes and took a long swig of the water.  “Yeah, buddy, it’s not looking so good for me.” The smoke was thick and even if he didn’t have the lung injury, he was sure breathing would be a hard task.  He put the canteen back around his neck. 

Trevor grabbed his hand.  “You helped me.  Why won’t you let us help you?”

The boy’s question hit Michael blindside.  How was he going to explain this to a young child?  There was no way to put it into a four year old’s perspective.  “I’m um…”  He took his fire helmet off and ran his hand through his wet hair.  He couldn’t find the appropriate words.  “I…”

Lawton kneeled down at eye level with Trevor.  “You and I are going to go find help, okay?  That’s how Michael is going to allow us to help him.”  He looked at Michael from the corner of his eye.  “Do you understand, Trevor?”

Nodding, the boy pushed the canteen back to Michael.  “Keep this.  We’re going to get help.”

Michael couldn’t help but laugh at how grown up he was acting.  It was amazing that he wasn’t freaking out over what was transpiring.  “Thanks Trev.  You’ve already been a great help, so I appreciate it.”  He patted him on the head.  “Don’t give Jack any grief, alright?”

Trevor leaned in and hugged him, brushing up against Michael’s side where his wound was.  It was painful and he cringed, but tried to hide the fact that he was hurting him. He hugged him back, gritting his teeth to keep from yelling out. 

“We’ll be back.” 

“I know you will be, Trev.  Thanks.”  He knew it was likely that he probably would never see the boy again.  It was bittersweet and sad that they had to fib to the child about what was going on.  He was more emotional than he thought he’d be about it.  A part of him was scared about being left there.  He didn’t want to die alone.  He wanted to fight through his injuries and walk out with them, assuming that Lawton would be able to find a way.  The time and the weather were not on his side.  He was going to stick with how he had been trained.  Get the civilian out, especially since it was a child involved.  They were first in rescue plans, even if it meant allowing himself to perish. 

Lawton gripped Michael’s shoulder, flashing him a look of sympathy.  “I mean what I say in going to find help.  I’ll be coming back and we’re gonna get you out of here.” 

Michael let out a low laugh, regretting it.  It felt like a sword was stabbing through his entire midsection.  “Bullshit, Lawton.  Can you do me one favor, though?”

“Of course I can.”

Michael swallowed the little moisture he had in his throat.  “Tell my brother Casey to stay strong.  Tell him that no matter what, to stay clean. In the long run it’ll be the best thing he could ever do for himself.  He’ll know what I’m talking about.” He adjusted his weight and fought through the emotion.  “Tell my mother that I’m sorry that she’s having to go through this all again.  She warned me about becoming a fireman and as always, she was right.  And the last thing I need you to do is tell Eva that I love her.  Tell her that I’m always going to be with her.  Tell her that I never believed in love at first sight until I met her.”  Again, he laughed, taken aback by what he was saying. It didn’t sound like himself.  “Sounds corny as hell, but please do it, okay?” 

Lawton grabbed his hand and squeezed.  “If I have to, I’ll tell them.  I’m going to make damn sure that I won’t have to, though.  I’m going to go get help.  I’ll be back.”

Nodding, Michael gave a small salute toward Trevor as Lawton picked him up and made his way southwest, staying on the same track they had planned on.  Michael felt tears sting his eyes and tasted the salt as they lingered on his lips.  He looked in their direction until they disappeared out of view.  Maybe Lawton could bring help back, but Michael wasn’t too hopeful about it.  At least Trevor had a chance, even if it was possible that Lawton might not be able to find a way out. 

Turning his head to the side, he watched the towering wall of smoke that had been trailing behind them.  Shaking his head, he forced a smile and closed his eyes as he leaned back against a tree. 

“What in the hell did I get myself in to?”

***

Casey knew that asking for a leave for a few hours from the center would be an instant denial after revealing what he had to his therapist.  He had to leave.  He couldn’t take this.  He had just gotten word that now Mikey was believed to be not only missing, but dead.  He began to panic as he paced at the foot of his bed.  His roommate was out, and in a way, Casey was thankful for that.  At the same time, he wished he were there to have someone to vent it out to.