Bad Apple (The Uncertain Saints MC #4) (12 page)

Not that I’d had a problem with that.

She had, and I felt bad.

Whatever was going on with this pregnancy was quickly taking almost every single freedom she had, and replacing them with fear and uncertainty.

And I’d do just about anything to take away that fear in her eyes.

Almost anything.

I wouldn’t give her me.

She may think she could handle my fucked up self, but she’d be wrong.

I set my alarm early so I have time to lie in bed and be sad that I have to get up.

-Text from Kitt to Ridley

28 weeks pregnant

Kitt

My eyes fluttered open, and I smiled at seeing Apple so close.

I leaned forward, pressing my lips against his, and sighed in contentment.

Then the position I was in slowly became apparent.

“What…” I started to say, realizing I wasn’t wearing any pants.

“Sorry,” Apple muttered. “Didn’t know what else to do.”

I wanted to throw up.

“What happened?” I croaked.

The door to the house creaked open signaling Ridley’s return, and Apple got up to go.

“Don’t leave!” I pleaded, my hand shooting out to wrap around Apple’s wrist.

Apple pulled his hand away gently.

“Don’t worry. He won’t know I was here,” Apple promised.

I blinked in surprise.

“I don’t care whether my brother finds out that you’re here or not,” I snarled. “What I care about is you,” I shot back.

Apple’s eyes narrowed. “Then why do you keep asking that man to go to Dallas with you instead of me?”

I blinked.

“Because you were working, as well as Ridley and the rest of the Saints. What did you want me to do?
Call a cab to take me the entire way?” I asked him.

Apple shrugged, not bothering to answer. He knew the answer was the same. I couldn’t call a cab. I also didn’t have anyone that could take me to Dallas every week. All of my friends and family had lives that kept them busy during the week when I had my appointments.

“You could’ve scheduled it a day when I could take you,” Apple suggested, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

My lips thinned and I stood, bringing my blanket with me to wrap around my lower half.

“I did,” I told him. “But you got called in, remember? At least that’s the excuse you gave me.”

“I also asked you to change the appointment to the day before or the day after,” he shot back.

I sighed.

“You can’t just reschedule an appointment in Dallas,” I told him. “This one was made about four months ago. I have a recurring slot every week. If I cancel, there'll be another lady willing to take it that has to drive double the distance. Trust me.”

Apple scowled and sat down on the bed.

Bending over, he slipped both feet into his boots, then stood once again.

Gathering his phone, keys, wallet, gun and drink from the bedside table, he looked down at me.

I really wish he’d been leaving my bed under different circumstances. I really hated that he only came to see me when I was sick, in trouble, or I had an appointment.

There was always a reason for him not to delve too deep under the surface, and I hated it. He used them as excuses to never talk about him.

I’d known the man seven months now, and not one damn time had I learned anything personal about him.

What I had learned about him was not even from him.

I’d met his father all of one time, and that was only because they’d delivered a package to my house that was addressed to Apple, and I’d hand delivered it in hopes that I’d get to see him.

Apple hadn’t been home, but his father was.

His father that was in a wheelchair and had obvious stroke impairments.

And I’d wanted to introduce myself to him so badly, but I’d held off, knowing Apple wouldn’t like me insinuating myself into his life like that.

But I was at a loss as to what to do.

I felt like I was left spinning, with no way to stop myself when it came to him.

“Make sure you call me to let me know you got there and home safely,” he started toward the door.

“Apple,” I rasped softly. “Why do you even care?”

I winced almost as soon as I said it.

I should’ve never just blurted that out there.

Apple’s shoulders stiffened, and he turned around to stare at me almost blankly.

“Because my child’s inside you,” he said somberly. “It’s the one good thing I’ve ever made in my life, and I’ll protect it with everything that’s in me.”

“What does that even mean?” I asked him, my heart hurting for him. “Why won’t you just talk to me
? I’m here. I’ll listen, and I’ll never judge you.”

He smiled sadly as he backed toward the door.

“You already have,” he muttered. “You just don’t know it yet.”

I stared at the closed door after he left, sadness practically leaking out of my every pore.

I felt utterly defeated, and I didn’t think I could do this anymore.

I physically did not have the ability to keep up.

My belly jumped, and I threaded my hand under my shirt, rubbing my hand over my belly where I’d felt the movement.

And I came to a decision, knowing it was the right one.

I’d try until I no longer had breath in my body.

Because not only was Apple the father of my baby…the little life inside of me that gave me so much love even when she wasn’t even born yet. But also because Apple deserved it. And my baby did, too.

“And what did he say when you told him about going to Dallas with another man?” Ridley asked with a roll of his eyes.

“That I should make sure he drives the speed limit,” I snorted, really cutting into my steak now.

Well, more like massacring it.

I wasn’t in a good mood.

Why, you ask?

Three words.

Apple fucking Drew.

“Told you that would backfire,” Ridley mumbled helpfully.

“Then why’d you let me do it?” I hissed.

In truth, I did it, just like I did it every week, in hopes to garner some sort of reaction other than boredom out of Apple.

It was as if he was just existing.

He’d go to my appointments, then leave in a matter of moments once they were done.

He’d see me home, then he’d be gone.

Although he didn’t actually leave.

That I realized pretty early on.

He wasn’t sneaky about making it obvious that he was watching me.

Any time I actually acknowledged that he was out there, though, he would leave.

Which meant I didn’t engage him in conversation in any way.

When he wasn’t at work, doing something for the club, or asleep, he was watching over me.

I would say it was sweet if it wasn’t so fucking annoying.

The man was a stubborn, pigheaded fool.

And I didn’t understand him a goddamn bit.

I’d been able to finally rip the story from Ridley after getting him drunk, and I couldn’t see a goddamn thing wrong with what he did.

Don’t get me wrong, I never condone violence.

However, I also don’t feel like a man should pay penance for something that likely wasn’t his doing in the first place.

Apple was taken advantage of by his friend. A friend who’d never looked past his own grief to see what his death would do to Apple.

Needless to say, I was more than willing to make the first move, but every time I got close, Apple would retreat.

So as to not destroy what little I was able to build, I gave him that space.

But that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try to entice Apple into giving me what I wanted, which was him.

“It worked,” I said. “He came to talk to me.”

“No,” Ridley countered. “He came to yell at you.”

I snorted and turned back to the dinner that I was eating.

It’d been eleven weeks since the gender reveal, and I was officially in the third trimester of my pregnancy.

And I looked like it, too.

My body was really starting to show, and everything that used to fit didn’t anymore.

“Whatever,” I grumbled.

“He also held you for about four hours after your episode, although he doesn’t realize I know that,” Ridley snickered.

My face flushed.

I didn’t want to think about that.

Except the idea of what Apple had had to do today was gut-wrenching.

“Kitt…” Ridley said, recognizing the color on my face for the embarrassment that it was. “You need to get over it. Hopefully this is only for a short time longer, and then you’ll kick these seizures.”

I shrugged, knowing he was likely telling the truth.

Hell, my own doctor had even said that once I had the baby and I could go back on my regular meds, and when the hormones that were throwing my system out of balance finally evened out, that I’d likely not have another seizure.

That didn’t make it any easier to deal with in the now, though.

“What do you mean you saw him hold me for four hours?” I
startled. “Weren’t you at work all day?”

He smiled sheepishly at me.

“What’d you do?” I asked warily.

“Nothing that you wouldn’t do if the positions weren’t reversed,” he said. “How do you think I got Apple here while he was working?”

I hadn’t thought about that.

I’d noticed he’d been in his work clothes earlier, but I hadn’t thought to ask him how he was able to be here with me and not get in trouble.

“He follows me constantly,” I told him. “Why else would he have been here?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I have the house wired for sounds and video.”

I blinked, surprised by what he’d just said.

“You
what
?” I repeated, still not comprehending the magnitude of what he’d just told me.

“Come on,” he said, pulling my hand, and consequently me, to the living room.

He pushed me down onto the couch and turned to stare at me, his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“I only did it for your own good, remember that,” he ordered, handing me a TV changer.

I took it, then looked up to find him changing the input on the television.

And suddenly I was looking at about five different views of everywhere in the house.

The last one in the bottom corner had me staring at the television, with a remote in my hand.

“You…what…how…why?” I stuttered.

“I have to work, Kitt,” he explained. “But I can’t work and know that you’re here, possibly dying. So I installed the camera, and I have someone monitoring it almost 24/7.”

I closed my eyes.

“What about today?” I asked
. “Do they turn it off when someone comes to help me, or do they keep watching?”

My face was a flaming ball of misery.

I knew the answer even before he said it.

“Keep watching,” he said. “That’s what they’re paid to do.”

I blew out a shaky breath and brought my hand up to angrily swipe at the tears that formed to roll down my cheek.

“I wish you would’ve told me,” I whispered. “Now I just have one more person privy to the fact that I have to have medicine shoved up my ass to get my seizures to stop.”

He sighed.

“You have a medical problem, darlin’,” he told me gently. “No one, not even me, has a problem doing what I have to do to make sure you and my niece stay okay. Okay?”

I laughed humorlessly. “How did Apple even figure out what and how to do that, anyway?”

It’d happened four times now in the last couple of months; me waking up with Apple’s arms around me, and each time I’d known he’d had to do that for me.

It was kind of hard to miss.

I didn’t lose hours of time without it having to happen.

My brother. Apple.

Who was next? The rest of the club members?

I’d literally die if that ever happened to me. Literally die.

“It’s either that, or you have to have a caregiver. Which way do you want it to be?” He asked.

I glared at him.

“You know which way I’d prefer it,” I said selfishly. “Get over yourself.”

He sighed.

“You want me to show you how it works?” He changed the subject.

I looked at the TV, then back to him, before shaking my head.

“No,” I tossed myself back against the couch. “I’d rather know that someone’s not watching me masturbate. Learning how it works doesn’t let me have that disillusion anymore.”

Ridley winced.

“That’s never been my intention,” he promised.

I shrugged.

“Is this like the Life A
lert?” I asked
. “If I fall, will a hot fireman come and save me?”

I might, or might not have, sounded a tad bit hopeful.

But I knew before he answered what he’d say.

We didn’t have a fire department. We had a volunteer fire department, and most of the volunteers in the department had jobs. My brother could get here just as fast as one of them could.

Or, apparently, so could Apple.

Meaning I was well and truly screwed, and someone on the end of the Life Alert line, someone was privy to my every coming and going, literally.

Yes, my life sucked.

I knew it.

Ridley knew it.

Apple knew it.

Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy at the corner gas station knew it at this point.

I’m not sure if the doctor called me a beast, or told me I was obese. I’m going with a beast.

-Text message from Kitt to Apple

Apple

Four weeks later

32 weeks pregnant

I watched her cry for the fourth time that day through her bedroom window, and I came to a decision.

I would do whatever I had to do to make sure she didn’t suffer anymore.

Anything.

This was pure torture, watching her cry her heart out.

Coming to a decision, I got off my bike that was directly in front of her house and made my way to her window.

I didn’t bother with the door.

That’d take too long to get to her, and I couldn’t stand one more single second of her crying.

I made a mental note to have a talk with her about not locking her window as I climbed through and walked directly to her.

She was crying so hard that she didn’t even hear me come up until I spoke.