Bad Boy - A Stepbrother Romance (13 page)

Chapter Fifteen

Finn

The hotel fire had been fucking horrible. Not because it destroyed that much—it didn’t in the grand scheme of things, only four rooms—but because I was still shaky thinking about how I’d almost lost Rory. When her Mom had told me she’d gone back inside to find her grandmother, I’d raced back in to find her lying prone on the stairwell like a broken doll, and for a split-second, I’d thought she was dead. That image of her lying there was seared into my retinas, and the events of that night had helped me realize a stark truth once and for all.

I was truly in over my head, falling in love with a girl I shouldn’t have even looked at twice.

Fantasizing about screwing her for the last few weeks had been one thing, but love?

That was a whole different ball game.

Whenever we were together, it became harder and harder to fight my feelings for her. I wanted her so fucking badly, and I knew it was coming to a point where I wouldn’t be able to resist telling her how I felt. That point had been coming for weeks now.

It had been three days since the fire now, and as far as I knew, Rory’s bruised arm was recovering well. As much as it killed me to stay away, I’d made sure to busy myself with work for the last few days and stay out of her path to ensure nothing more happened between us. Even squeezing her hand the way I had when the EMT had been checking her out had been too much…fuck, it had been enough to bring everything back; every memory of her lips on mine in that elevator, every fantasy of fucking her, every thought of being with her and only her.

Today, I was working at my side-gig at the hospital, and I was getting ready in my room. The hospital gig was something I’d picked up ages ago, despite having my hands full at the hotel. I had my reasons for doing it, but overall it was just something I wanted,
needed
to do. Not that I spoke of it to anyone—I could just imagine the shit I’d get from my friends if they found out I was dressing up as fucking Santa Clause for a bunch of kids. Besides, I wasn’t one of those assholes who liked to brag about the charity work they did.

I always got dressed at the hospital, but I had to get my costume ready at home. By now, it was a yearly tradition for me to volunteer at the hospital, dressing up as the jovial fat dude who brought presents to children. I’d even dabbled as the Easter bunny a few times when their usual guy was busy, but I preferred Santa.

Something about that red hat, enormous belt buckle and the fake beard made the children happier than ever, and I loved seeking them shriek with excitement as I entered the room. With Christmas only a week away now, the kids were probably more excited than ever to see me wander into the ward, and I couldn’t wait to get to work.

I was about to put my costume away in my duffel bag when my front door opened and someone entered the room, quick as a flash. I realized it was Rory, and heat consumed my cheeks as I moved in front of my bed, trying to hide the Santa suit that was on full display on my bedspread.

“Hey,” she said, sneaking a look around the room.

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked.

“Not much. Sorry for barging in,” she said. “Your room was unlocked, and I just…I wanted to talk to someone.”

She looked so lost in the middle of the room, like a tiny glass doll in a huge store. A need to take care of her consumed me, and I smiled.

“Hope it’s okay,” she continued. “I know you’ve been really busy for the last few days helping your Dad sort out the insurance stuff after the fire. I just didn’t know where else to go.”

I tried to be reassuring as I nodded. “Is your Mom busy?”

“Yeah, I guess.” She looked unsure of herself, sidestepping from one foot to another. “She’s not my first call when I need to talk, anyway.”

I nodded again. I’d only been living with Rory and her family for about a month or so, but it was obvious she wasn’t very close with her mother. Anna must’ve had her when she was pretty young, and their relationship wasn’t as close as the bond Rory had with her grandmother.

“Anything I can help you with?” I asked, trying my hardest to cover up the Santa suit lying on the bed. So far, so good. It seemed like Rory was too caught up in her own stuff to even notice it.

“Not really.” She sighed and rubbed the bruise on her arm. “I mean, I’m fine, but I guess I just need someone to talk to.”

She sat down on an armchair in the corner of the room, and I plopped down on the bed, directly on the Santa suit. My eyebrows furrowed together. I was worried now. Rory was usually so happy-go-lucky, and I wasn’t used to seeing her this upset.

“What’s up?” I said.

She fidgeted, biting her bottom lip and staring at the floor before finally speaking up. “It’s Grandma,” she said softly. “She had another checkup the other day. We got the test results from the doctor, and they…aren’t great.”

I could hear her voice getting shaky, and in that moment, I didn’t give a fuck whether she saw my Santa suit or not. I just wanted her to be okay, so I got up and walked over to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder as I kneeled down in front of her.

“What happened with the results?” I asked.

“Well, it’s probably nothing.” Rory’s voice was so shaky it was killing me. I hated seeing her like this. “Just some discrepancies from the last time they took the tests...and she’s so freaking stubborn, she won’t listen to the doctors at all. She says she feels fine and that she’s been taking her meds, so therefore she
is
fine…but the results apparently say otherwise.”

“I’m sure everything’ll be okay. Tests can be wrong.”

”I guess…but I’m not sure. I think maybe she’s been forgetting to take her meds every day or something. I know I’m probably overreacting, but I just worry about her, you know?”

“Yeah, I know exactly how that feels,” I said. I really did. “Try not to worry, I’m sure everything will be just fine. She’s a tough one. Remember the way she lectured me when we first met? I thought she was going to reach across the table and put me in a headlock.”

Rory nodded, half-smiling and sniffling at the same time, and that drew the line for me. Without meaning to, I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. It was probably a huge mistake, but the way her eyelids fluttered open to look at me made my heart melt and my cock stiffen.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

I smiled. It was nothing. I’d just wanted to make her feel a little bit better.

Her eyes floated away and landed on something behind me. She only looked worried for a moment longer, after which her look was replaced with one of surprise.

“Oh my god,” she said as she got up, moving away from me.

“What?” I asked, already on the defense. I turned around and got up, checking to see what had caught her attention. Of course, my eyes landed on the Santa suit right away and I figured she’d seen it. “Oh, shit.”

“Is that what I think it is?” she asked.

“Um. Depends what you think it is, I guess,” I said, my cheeks reddening.

She put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows, a look of mischief in her eyes. “I should’ve known…you’re into creepy festive roleplaying stuff, aren’t you?”

I grinned. “Yeah, sure. I like to dress up as Santa and spank all the naughty little elves,” I said. “By the way, I wouldn’t mind coming down your chimney, if you catch my drift.”

Her eyes crinkled around the sides with amusement. “Ho ho ho…hey, that suits you, because you’re a giant man-ho!”

We both cracked up at that, and the sound of Rory’s laughter was like music to my ears, as much of a giant fucking cliché as that sounded. I finally managed to stop laughing a moment later, but a grin was still firmly in place on my face as I watched her trying to stifle her own giggles.

Christ, she was hot…and impossible to resist.

I strode across the room towards her, grabbing her by the hips and pulling her closer. Her laughter immediately dried up, and she took a sharp intake of breath, her mouth popping open in surprise.

“Thanks for the compliment,” I said, my lips only inches from hers. “But the suit is actually for my job.”

“Sure it is,” Rory replied, her words strained as she struggled to keep her cool at being so close to me again. “Since when do you dress up as Santa at the hotel? What’s it really for? Costume party?”

“It’s really for work. But not here at the hotel.” I smiled at her, finally stepping away and folding the suit on the bed. I could sense Rory’s confusion, but I figured if there was one person I could tell my secret to, it was her. “In the hospital,” I added.

Her forehead wrinkled with confusion. “What?”

I knew I’d have to explain it all sooner or later. It wasn’t an easy story to tell, and even though it had been years since it all happened, I hadn’t forgotten. I never would.

I busied myself putting my suit in the bag as I started talking. “Remember that time we ran into each other in the hospital?”

And made out in the elevator and almost dry humped each other?
I silently added.

“...Yeah.”

“Well, I wasn’t there for a penis reduction, contrary to popular belief.”

“Because your penis is already tiny?”

“Hilarious, but no, that’s not it,” I said.

I gave her a tight smile over my shoulder, and then I closed the door of the closet. It was getting increasingly hard to look her in the eye.

Part of the truth finally seemed to dawn on her. “Wait…it was you I saw in the Santa suit that day! I saw a Santa go around the corner, and then three minutes later you appeared. I had no idea it was you,” she said.

I nodded. “I volunteer at the hospital when I have free time. This time of the year is especially busy with the Christmas season, so yeah, sometimes I’ll even wear a Santa costume. I was supposed to go there this morning but my shift got held up till this afternoon. I was just putting my stuff in my bag when you came in.”

I knew what was coming. She’d want to ask why I worked there, and I’d have to tell her. A long, awkward silence followed my admission, and I could sense her fidgeting behind me as I made my bed. Anything to stop me from looking at her, because I was suddenly certain I’d fucking break down if I so much as dared a look at her.

“Wow,” she said. “I didn’t know...I’m sorry, I honestly thought the suit was a joke costume when I saw it a few seconds ago. Why do you do it?”

The inevitable question and now, the inevitable answer, made my heart ache. I sat down on the bed, fixing my gaze firmly on the floor.

“I’m not sure you know much about my family,” I said. “My Dad was obviously married before your Mom.”

“Yes,” Rory said softly, still standing in the middle of the room. “I know you lost your mother, Finn. I’m really sorry.”

I waved my hand as if to say it didn’t matter, even though it fucking did. Even after all these years, it still mattered.

“Yeah. My Mom and Dad had me when they were pretty young. They had another kid, too,” I said, my voice as bland and impersonal as I could manage.

This was the hard part. The part that always tore out my heart and shredded it to pieces.

My gaze firmly on the floor, I kept telling Rory the sad fucking tale that was my life.

“My little sister, Kristin. She...she was a few years younger than me. We were pretty close. She, err…got diagnosed with cancer when we were younger. And from then on, it was just doctors, appointments, and fucking chemo. A lot of fucking tests, and not a lot of damn answers. She was so brave, though. The bravest person I’ve ever seen. She never complained, not once, even when she was in horrible pain. She’d just smile and say she was looking forward to seeing Santa in December, and that maybe he’d make her better for Christmas. She never got better, though. She passed away when I was seventeen. She would’ve been fifteen now, if she was still around.”

I could hear Rory shuffling behind me, but I needed to stay strong, so I kept looking down and kept talking, the only way to hold back the dam.

“She died after fighting for a long time. Everyone told me it was for the best, though I don’t see how fucking dying can be for the best.”

My hands formed fists, and Rory’s hand gently trailed up my back before coming to rest on my shoulder. I felt a weight on the mattress I was sitting on, but I was too fucking numb to react; like always when it came to Kristin.

“My Dad really helped me out. He was by my side and made sure we remembered Kristin every day. But my Mom...she didn’t take it that well. She got depressed, and then she got hooked on some kind of sleeping pills, and one day, she overdosed. And then she was gone too, just like that.”

By now, I was barely holding it back. I could feel the tears burning the back of my eyes, a sob begging to escape my lips as my throat ached. But I held it the fuck back, because that’s what I’d trained myself to do.
Don’t be a fucking pussy.

Rory’s hand massaging the back of my neck was a pleasant distraction, and I finally went quiet. There was nothing left to say. Nothing left of the fucked up sob story that was my earlier life.

“Finn,” Rory said softly, her lips so close to my ear that I could almost feel their silken touch against my skin. “I’m so sorry, Finn. I’m sorry about Kristin. And I’m so sorry about your mother, too.”