Bad For Me (18 page)

Chapter 31

The next five weeks followed a similar pattern. At first, it seemed strange not to see JJ’s car in the car park at DraxSoft. The new owners moved their people in. The new Managing Director was a man named Stephen Carr who was several years older than JJ. He soon won the employees over—I got the firm impression that Caroline had a crush on him.

JJ would collect me every evening, and take me to Mossbry. Most days, Billy would be with Wendy when I arrived. The doctor had told me Billy had made excellent progress, and that there was no reason why he shouldn’t be discharged within the next two weeks. I had started looking at bedsits. I wanted to find somewhere within walking distance of my flat, so I could look in on him regularly. Finding the right place wasn’t going to be easy because my funds were limited. I hadn’t told JJ about my hunt for a bedsit because I knew he would want to pay for it, but I didn’t want to be dependent upon him. I’d had no choice, but to accept JJ's help while Billy was at Mossbry, but once Billy was discharged, I wanted to cut my ties with JJ completely.

Billy's room was empty. I couldn’t see him in the lounge, so I checked with reception.

“Hi. Do you know where Billy Taylor is please?”

“He discharged himself earlier today.”

“I'm his sister. Why didn't anyone check with me first?”

“The patients are free to leave whenever they wish.

“Where's he gone?”

“Let me check.” She leafed through a pile of folders until she found the one she was looking for. “Are you Megan Taylor?”

“Yes.”

“He left this for you.”

I tore open the white envelope, and pulled out the sheet of lined paper.

“Everything okay?” JJ had seen me approach the receptionist.

“He’s discharged himself, and no one thought to let me know.”

“Where’s he gone?”

“Here.” I handed him the sheet of paper which had an address scribbled on it.

“I know where this is,” JJ said. “It’s not far—about forty minutes.”

As we drove, I looked at the note again. It was brief and to the point:

I am moving in with Wendy.

Billy

“What are you going to do?” JJ said.

“I don’t know.”

“Surely, if they’re happy... ”

“It’s none of your business, JJ.”

Wendy answered the door.

“Megan. Come in. Billy’s in the kitchen.” She looked at the car. “Does your friend want to come in?”

“No. He’s fine.”

I followed her inside. Billy was washing the pots. I almost fainted—Billy was washing the pots! I’d never seen him do any housework in all the time I’d lived with him and Mum.

“Hi Megan.” He smiled. “Do you want a tea or coffee?”

“No, thanks. Can we talk?”

“Sure. Fire away.”

“Alone?” I looked at Wendy.

“Wendy can hear anything you have to say,” Billy said.

“It’s okay.” Wendy said. “I’ll leave you two alone. I’ll be in the garden.” She disappeared out of the back door.

“You’re washing the pots.”

“I bet you never thought you’d see the day.” He dried his hands, and ushered me into the living room.

“I don’t think this is a good idea.” I said.

“What? The clinic said I was ready to leave.”

“I mean moving in with Wendy.”

“Why not? Don't you like her?”

“She seems really nice.”

“So, what's the problem?”

I checked to make sure Wendy hadn't come back in.

“You've got to stay off the drink, Billy.”

“Don't you think I know that?”

“It's not a good idea for you to be with someone who has their own drink problems.”

“Wendy's good for me. We help one another.”

“What if she starts to drink again?”

“She won't—I won't let her. We've got each other's backs.”

“What will you do for money?”

“I'm going to look for a job once I'm back on my feet. Wendy has her own money. Her parents are loaded. Don't spoil this for me, Megan.”

“I'm not trying to spoil it. I just don't see how you can trust her.”

“What's the alternative? Do you want me to spend the rest of my life not trusting anyone?”

“You're making a mistake.”

“Maybe I am, but I'm willing to give it a try.”

The conversation went around in circles for the next ten minutes, but I could see I wasn't going to change his mind. I couldn't bear to see him throw away everything he had achieved at Mossbry.

“I'd better be going,” I said.

“Be happy for me, Megan.”

“I am.”

We hugged, said our goodbyes, and I went back to the car.

“Everything okay?” JJ said.

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Thanks for paying Billy's clinic fees, and for taking me over there every day.”

We were parked outside my flat.

“No problem. It seems to have been money well spent. Will you need me to take you over to see Billy again?”

“No, thanks. He doesn't need me now—he's got Wendy.”

“So, will I see you again?”

“No. If you can let Julie know when you're planning to come over... ”

“You'll do what? Hide?”

“I'm sorry, JJ. It's better this way.”

I climbed out of the car, and hurried towards the flat. I didn't look back—I didn't want him to see the tears in my eyes.

Chapter 32

JJ didn't come to the flat again. Instead, Julie went to his apartment most weeks. She never talked about him, even though I think she wanted to. She was probably scared I'd bite her head off. Even without JJ at the helm, DraxSoft continued to go from strength to strength. I was given a promotion after I'd been there for six months. It wasn't anything dramatic; I was still in the same department, but it did mean a few extra quid each month. I'm not sure I would have still been there if JJ hadn't quit the company when he did. Seeing him every day would have been much too painful.

“Hi.” I called to Julie as she came back from visiting JJ.

She slammed the door closed, and headed straight for her bedroom. It was obvious something was wrong, and my immediate thought was that JJ was back on the drink. I gave it ten minutes to see if she would come back out—she didn't.

“Julie? What's up?”

She was lying on the bed.

“Leave me alone.” She was crying.

“Tell me what the matter is.” I sat beside her on the bed. “Is it JJ? Is he okay?” I didn't want to ask if he was drinking.

“What do you care?”

Her words stung and took me aback for a moment.

“Of course I care. What's wrong with him?”

Julie sat up—her face was red and blotchy.

“He's leaving.”

“Where?”

“I don't know. I'm not sure he knows. He says he's going to travel the world.”

“Why is that a bad thing? It'll be fun.”

“You haven't seen him lately.”

“Is he drinking?”

“No. Why do you always think the worst of him?”

“I don't. I didn't. I just meant... ”

“He hasn't touched a drop. He's just... I don't know. He doesn't smile any more. It's like the life has drained out of him. I'm worried what might happen when he's travelling alone.”

“Why don't you go with him?”

“It isn't me he wants to go with him.”

I could feel her gaze burning into me. I didn't know what to say. I tried to put my arm around her, but she pushed me away.

“When is he leaving?”

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

********************

The atmosphere in the flat overnight was terrible. Julie was obviously doing her best to keep out of my way, and when we were in the same room, she hardly spoke. I felt like anything I might say would only make things worse, so I kept quiet and hoped it would blow over by the morning.

Julie was in the same foul mood the next day. I couldn't stand anymore, so decided to get out of the flat for a few hours. I wandered around town for an hour. I had a little spare cash since my promotion, but I wasn't in the mood for shopping. I kept thinking about JJ. I was just about to get a coffee when I spotted them. Across the road, arm in arm, were Billy and Wendy. Even from that distance, I could see he looked great. He had a huge smile on his face, which was reflected by Wendy. They had a real spring in their step as they walked down the street—chatting and laughing as they went. I hadn't seen Billy since the day he had discharged himself. If I'm honest, I'd half expected to get a phone call from him saying it hadn't worked out with Wendy, and could he come and stay with me. Or worse still, a call to say he'd been found drunk somewhere.

I followed them at a distance until they disappeared into a coffee shop—the same one I'd planned on visiting.

“Megan!” Billy called.

“Billy, Wendy, hi. I saw you from across the road.”

“Will you join us?” Wendy asked.

“No, it's okay. I just wanted to say hello.”

“Stay and have a drink,” Billy said. “What do you want?”

“Okay. I'll have a Latte please.”

“I'll get the drinks,” Billy said. “You two chat.”

I took the seat next to Wendy.

“He looks great,” I said.

“He is. We both are.”

“I'm glad.”

“Billy told me what you said—that I'd be bad for him.”

“Oh. Right. I'm sorry...”

“It's okay. I understand. You care about him—so do I.”

I nodded.

“You can say what you're thinking,” Wendy said—still smiling.

“I wasn't... ”

“You were thinking 'but for how long'. Who knows? All we can do is to take it one day at a time. Right now we love one another, and that's all that matters.”

I couldn't argue. They looked great—they looked happy—they looked in love.

“Here we are.” Billy was back with the coffees.