Bad Girls (43 page)

Skye sighed. Today she’d read for Girl on Beach, Cheerleader #3, and Lindsay (ironically, the character with the actual name had had the least to do). It wasn’t that the parts were small; she couldn’t exactly expect to walk into leading-lady status with no past credits to her name. It was that every single casting agent had made it very clear exactly why they had agreed to see her – and spent more time discussing her and Joe’s sex scene, which had gone viral on the net by now, than they had auditioning her. Two had leered; the third one had told her she’d get the part if she gave him a blow job.

It’s nothing I didn’t get in the Midnight Lounge every damn night, Skye thought. But I wanted to leave that behind me. This is just more of the same. And the money’s worse.

Skye had already spent tons on cabs getting to all these appointments. With nothing to show for it. She might have paid off her cards, but she was starting to rack up their balances again.

A girl came out of the office Skye was waiting to enter, an opaque glass door with ‘Julie Tanaka’ etched across it. The girl was ridiculously stunning, with a sleek dark ponytail and exotic features.

‘Skye Simmons?’ she said. ‘Julie will see you now.’

‘Thanks,’ Skye said, rising from her seat.

Julie Tanaka had a mass of orange curls pulled back behind her head, a cheerful smile, and a curvy figure clad in a grey business suit that didn’t do much for it. She came out from behind her desk to greet Skye, taking Skye’s hands in both of hers.

‘Skye! Sit!’ she said, gesturing to a couple of suede armchairs in the corner of the office, a glass cube between them. ‘How nice to meet you! You’re even prettier in the flesh. So! Tell me about yourself!’

There’s no point bullshitting. After that sex tape, and all the press, everyone knows who I am and what I’ve done.

Skye launched into a brief summary of her life to date, trying to be as entertaining as possible. She sensed quickly that Julie Tanaka wasn’t really listening to her words, but that was OK; why should she be interested in what Skye had to say? The words weren’t important. She was checking out Skye’s voice, how expressive her face was as she talked, her body language.

‘And then you got to Hollywood and met Joe,’ Julie said, when Skye paused for breath. ‘And it looked like you had a lot of fun together!’

Skye nodded awkwardly. Everyone’s seen the damn video clip by now, she thought wearily. They know it’s there, I know it’s there – why do they have to keep mentioning it?

‘So, Skye,’ Julie continued, ‘I think you’d be perfect for this role. I’d love to send you to meet the director and get his OK.’

Skye sat bolt upright with surprise. After her previous encounters that day, she had given up any idea that she might be taken remotely seriously as an actress.

‘That’s great!’ she stammered, feeling light as a feather with elation. ‘But, uh, don’t you want to hear me read the lines?’

‘We’ll put you in front of a camera when you meet the director,’ Julie said, smiling. ‘I’ll be there too.’

‘Shall I take them away and work on them?’ Skye asked, flapping the two meagre sheets of paper.

‘Sure! That’d be great!’ Julie leaned forward. ‘And tell me, do you like Japanese food?’

‘I love sushi,’ Skye said promptly, not sure where this was going, but happy to follow someone who’d just given her a callback.

‘Great! Maybe you’d like to join me for an early dinner, and we can talk more? I’m booked solid with appointments today, but I’ve got a really good instinct about you and I’d love to grab some dinner.’

‘Thank you,’ Skye said.

‘And I’ll see if my husband can make it too,’ Julie added.

She nodded over at a large framed photograph on the desk, presumably of Mr Tanaka. He was standing on a beach, wearing a black wetsuit, holding a surfboard, smiling at the camera, the sun in his eyes.

Julie smiled proudly. ‘He works out a lot. He’s in really good shape.’ She looked meaningfully at Skye. ‘He’s seen your video too, and he can’t wait to meet you.’

Skye’s stomach began to sink.

‘We’re very open as a couple,’ Julie continued, leaning forward and touching Skye’s knee. ‘Seeing him happy makes me happy, if you know what I mean.’

‘Um, I just remembered I’m busy this evening,’ Skye said, pushing her chair back a little, and standing up. ‘I have to see someone from the
Investigator.
Sorry about that.’

‘Oh, no problem!’ Julie’s smile didn’t fade, her voice remained just as cheerful. ‘We’ll take a raincheck.’

She stood up too, ushering Skye to the door.

‘I tell you what,’ she said, as she opened it. ‘You get in touch when you’re free for dinner, and then we’ll talk about more casting opportunities, OK?’

‘Sure,’ Skye said, trying to handle this as smoothly as Julie was.

At least I can show this bitch I’m a good actress, Skye thought wryly as she left the room. The receptionist glanced over at her, and Skye read something in her expression; it was too fleeting a moment for Skye to decode all of it, but she sensed that the receptionist was perfectly aware of how Julie ran her particular brand of casting couch, and was assessing Skye to see if she’d taken up Julie’s dinner invitation.

I wonder what she had to do to get her job? Skye wondered, as she slung her knockoff Louis Vuitton bag over her shoulder and headed out of the office. Did she have to make Mr Tanaka happy while Mrs Tanaka watched?

Waiting for the lift, she sighed, a long deep sigh that seemed to be pulled up right out of the soles of her feet.
This is how it’s going to be, isn’t it? Now everyone’s seen that damn video clip, they’re going to want a piece of me in return for any opportunity I get.

Skye couldn’t blame anyone for making assumptions about her. Plenty of actresses got their breaks just this way, by making nice with some producer or director or casting agent. But one thing the therapy sessions in rehab had done for her, much to her own surprise, was give her a sense of self-worth she hadn’t even realized she was lacking.

Just because I had sex with Joe doesn’t mean that I’ll screw a casting agent’s husband just to get a damn callback so the director can make a pass at me. Whatever anyone else thinks, I had sex with Joe because I wanted to. Because I really, really wanted to. And it was wonderful.

God. Joe.

Skye heaved another deep sigh.

I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t stop missing him. And I bet, since he left rehab, he hasn’t given me a thought.

I’m the biggest fucking idiot in the world.

‘
J
oe Jeffreys!
Bo
e môj –
my God!’

Slava pressed her hands together, the freshly painted red nails gleaming.

‘Joe Jeffreys, ringing you!’ she chanted like an incantation.
‘Bo
e môj
, we did well to come to Hollywood!’

‘We didn’t exactly choose to come,
Matka,’
Amber pointed out drily, picking up the jar of Lancôme Bienfait sunscreen and patting some more on her face. They were sitting outside by the pool, and though they were sheltered by a big white canvas umbrella, Amber was, like most models, very careful about sun damage to her skin.

Slava waved this objection away with a flick of her fingers. ‘We should come to Hollywood many years before,’ she said.
‘Joe Jeffreys!
Forget Tony! Joe Jeffreys is much better!’

‘Poor Tony,’ Amber commented, putting on her sunglasses and lying back in her chair ‘After all he’s done for you.’

Slava ignored this, as she ignored everything she didn’t want to respond to.

‘You say Joe Jeffreys will marry this woman who goes with other women?’ she asked. ‘So he will need sex. Men need sex.’

Women need it too, just as much, Amber thought wistfully, an instant image of herself and Dr Raf twined together flashing into her brain, flooding her body with a warmth much stronger than the LA sun.

‘He sees you at the restaurant, and he rings you!’ Slava went on.

‘His assistant rang me,’ Amber corrected.

Slava made a loud tutting noise.

‘You make things difficult,’ she said crossly. ‘After you go to that place, that hospital—’

‘Rehab.’

‘You come out of there and you are different. Difficult,’ Slava complained. ‘You talk back to me. I don’t like this. This is not how good Slovakian daughter behaves.’

Before her overdose, before rehab, this would have wounded Amber to the quick. But now, it was strangely easy to resist. Amber didn’t argue; she simply didn’t respond. Instead, she slid a cigarette out of the packet on the table and lit it. Slava darted a look sideways at her, assessing the situation, and wisely decided not to push her complaints any further.

‘So! His assistant rings you!’ she said, reaching for the pack of cigarettes herself. ‘And what does the assistant say?’

‘Joe wants to see me,’ Amber said, knowing how excited this would make her mother. ‘And he set up an audition for me. Tomorrow morning.’

Slava’s eyes nearly popped out of her head in shock.

‘An audition?’ She gripped the arms of her chair, using them to turn to face her daughter fully. ‘Like, for a film?’

Amber nodded. ‘He thinks I’m a natural.’

With trembling hands, Slava reached out to the table, grabbed the yellow plastic vial of Vicodin, shook out a pill with the ease of long practice, and tossed it to the back of her throat, following it down with a swig of the clear liquid in her glass, which Amber had deliberately not sniffed, for fear of what it might contain.

‘For a
film
!’ she practically sang in delight. ‘Joe Jeffreys will put you in a film!’ She clapped her hands, her heavy rings clinking together. ‘
Láska!
This is better than anything!’

‘
Matka
,’ Amber said so firmly that her mother looked at her warily. ‘I am
not
going to have sex with Joe Jeffreys. I’m not even going to
date
him.’

‘But—’ Slava’s face froze.

‘He’s a really nice guy,’ Amber said, ‘and I like him a lot. And if he wants to help me get a part in a film, that’s fine. I have to make some money somehow, and I don’t mind trying to act. But I’m sure that Joe won’t expect me to have sex with him in return for helping me. He’s not that kind of man.’

‘They’re all that kind of man,’ Slava muttered.

‘No,
Matka
, they’re not!’ Amber stood up angrily. ‘There
are
nice men out there – I’m just sorry you never met any!’ She shook her head, as if getting rid of a cloud of flies around her. ‘I’ve got my therapy in a couple of hours. I should go and get ready. And on the way back, I’m going to stop at that deli on Laurel Canyon and buy some food, and try to cook us dinner.’

Slava’s eyebrows shot up to the white roots of her hair as Amber turned to go inside the house.

When
Matka
realizes I’m not going to have sex with Tony either, she’s going to throw a fit, she thought, going upstairs to her bedroom to change out of her swimsuit. But I won’t. I won’t do anything any more that I genuinely don’t want to do. That’s the rule I made for myself in rehab, and I’m sticking to it.

And I can’t imagine having sex with anyone but Dr Raf. Ever again.

The audition Joe Jeffreys – or, to be more realistic, one of his swarm of managers or assistants – had set up for Amber was on a studio lot. Despite the amount of shoots she’d done for the most prestigious clients in the world, she couldn’t help but be excited as the car turned into the main entrance to Paramount, the security guards leaning down to check her ID against a list, then waving her through. Low, white-painted buildings stretched away as far as the eye could see, flanked with palm trees. Crawling along, the car passed what looked like the New York street set for
Friends
, recognizably Manhattan but much cleaner and newer-looking than the real thing. Beyond it Amber could see the soundstages; one had its main doors open, and, craning her neck to look, she saw it was as big as an aircraft hangar, bright floodlights trained on a stage inside, the rest of the interior pitch-black by comparison.

People are shooting a film, or a TV series, or a sitcom there right now, she thought. And I might be part of that soon.