Bad Romance (20 page)

Honestly I didn’t know what I would do if they didn’t let me into his room. I would pull a full-on covert operation to get into that fucking ICU. I would play sister, wife, anything. I felt my father tense more than saw him. I glanced up through my lashes and saw him looking behind me. His gaze shifted to mine. “Go.”

I opened my mouth to say something and turned around to see Paul filling up the doorway of the cafeteria. He nodded and I tripped over myself to get to him. I was worried it was a dream or some delusion I was making up as I sat here.

Did I fall asleep?

When I reached Paul he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room and quickly towards the elevators.

“No—too long,” I nearly sobbed.

He didn’t look at me. “Patience.” It was sharp and aggressive and I couldn’t help but submit to the demand.

When we reached the ICU wing, there was a huge door with a button and camera looking down at who came to the door.

“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,” I murmured.

Paul heard and snorted, “Nice.”

I shrugged and he hit the button.

“Father and wife.”

My eyes went wide as I looked up at him and he grinned. The automatic doors swished open slowly and I took a step back. Paul’s hand came to rest on my lower back and he shoved me in. “Room 3.” Then he turned and left.

The sound of my sneakers squeaking on the clean flooring nearly had me screaming. I wanted people to know my rage, my pain, and everything I felt in that moment. I came to room number three on my left. On my right was a bank of windows that held nurses constantly monitoring what was happening in each room. Slowly I eased around the corner and I collapsed. I pressed my palm over my mouth to muffle the agony that exploded from me.

Seeing Dax Trenton so totally broken had my heart tearing to pieces. I felt soft hands on my shoulders and I turned and looked up into the smiling face of a pretty blonde nurse. She had a spattering of freckles over her nose and her blue eyes held understanding. Not pity. Not disgust. Just a full understanding of everything I was feeling in that moment. She crouched in front of me and took my hand in hers—the one that wasn’t still clapped over my mouth trying to keep my scream locked inside.

“He can hear you. And it will make him come back to you.” The nurse’s voice was soft, and seemed to lilt like a song.

The pain stayed, but reasoning shifted back into place. My shaky hand came away from my mouth. I sniffed a few times and scrubbed away my tears. God, I had to be a mess by this point. She gave me a comforting smile and I walked towards Dax like a zombie.

He was pale. Needles were stuck into his arms, and something went down his throat to help his chest rise and fall. I reached for his hand, then pulled back. I fisted my hand and let it out. “Fuck you, Dax!” My voice was loud enough where I knew people heard me. But I didn’t stop there. I was letting it all out. “How dare you do this to us? You are supposed to come out of this! You deserve life just as much as the rest of us. You had to be this stubborn, arrogant little shit that just ran right into the face of danger and got yourself stabbed. Why? What the fuck did that even prove?” I stopped, closing my eyes and getting a hold of myself. I reached out blindly and took hold of his hand. I squeezed it so hard because I wanted him to feel it. Actually I really wanted to hit him but I knew that would get me in trouble. But Dax responded to stuff like that. Pain. Because just like John Green wrote,
Pain demanded to be felt.

Then I felt it. He squeezed back. His heart monitor jumped up. My eyes flew open but he was just lying there, unmoving. Rules be damned. I squeezed onto the bed with him. I was careful of everything attached to him and I rested my head on his chest and really felt his heart ticking away for him.

“Please don’t break me, Dax Trenton.”

I fell asleep right there. The exhaustion of the past week finally took its toll on me. It was dark out when Todd came to carefully shake me awake. It was time to go. I didn’t want to but Paul and Todd convinced me that the moment Dax opened his eyes they would call me. But I had to go to England and keep myself safe because Dax would kill everyone if I was hurt and it could’ve been prevented.

It was with a broken heart and soul that I left that hospital. Later the next day Shannon and I boarded a plane to London with my father.

Chapter Twenty

Clara

It was three days after Christmas, I held the phone to my ear and it just kept on ringing. Dax’s cocky drawl dripped through the phone telling you to leave your digits so he could get head later. Then I tried Todd. His more reserved swagger picked up on the voicemail and I threw my phone on the bed. No one had called since they checked in the day after I got here to let me know Dax was being just as stubborn about recovery as he was everything else. After that—not a word.

I was still standoffish with my father and spent most of my time either in my room with earphones in, no music playing, or at Starbucks with my laptop in front of me, earphones in, and no music playing. Shannon tried to engage me constantly but I wasn’t having it. I realized I was being pathetic and silly. But it was edging on New Years’ Day and not a word from anyone. As I stared down at my phone I knew in that moment I’d had enough. Snatching it up and packing up a light bag, I flicked on my computer and went about getting me a one-way ticket back to the States.

I made sure I had my passport and jogged down the stairs. My dad was sipping coffee reading the paper and Shannon was dancing around the kitchen making breakfast.

“I’m going back.”

My dad’s head jerked up at that. He got to his feet. It was then he noticed the bag and my look of determination. His jaw worked and I nearly laughed hysterically. It reminded me so much of the men that I trusted who now were betraying me worse than anything ever had. Even beyond Marcus killing my mother.

“No. You need to think about this, Clara.”

“I have, and I’m going back. No one is calling, this is bullshit.” I turned to Shannon, who had gotten really still, just looking at me with shock on her face and a glimmer in her eyes. She was proud.

“Finally,” she smirked and went back to eggs.

“No, not finally. You aren’t going back there until I get the clear from Paul.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh please, Dad. Don’t you get it? You aren’t going to get the clear. You aren’t going to get shit. They shoved us off to the good ole’ UK and called it good. We were a burden, a liability. They got rid of us and are going about their day. Well, fuck that, Dad. I just got Dax back. I’m not letting Paul or anyone else keep us apart.”

He went to protest but I turned and headed out the front door. The car I called for hadn’t shown up yet. I sat on the front steps of his flat and it didn’t take long for it to come cruising around the corner.

“Come on, Clara. I’ll take you.”

I looked back at him before I slipped into the cab. “I have to do this all on my own. It’s my life they are messing with. I love you.” I dropped into the seat and shut the door.

I swear it was the longest flight of my life. I mean, the flight to and from the UK was long but the layover in New York was painful—six hours. I was ready to murder someone when I jumped from my seat when the all clear was given at the Ontario International Airport. I only had the one carry-on so I raced through the airport and caught a taxi. He was driving unsafe and fast. Good. When we finally pulled up to my dark house, the one next door was just as dark. I swallowed. No cars were in the drive. No motorcycles out front. I dropped my bag on the front lawn and walked over in a daze.

When I reached for the doorknob of the fraternity house it gave under my movements and opened. I stepped inside and knew then, at that moment, I was finished.

Empty.

It was all gone.

As if they never even existed. I stumbled back out of the house and fell to my knees and cried. I finally, after nearly a month, screamed.

“Oh shit, Clara!”

Shannon came running across the yard. It vaguely registered that she must’ve taken the flight right after me if she was just catching up to me. She pulled me into her arms was trying to shush me and comfort me. It wasn’t going to work. Nothing was going to work anymore. Dax—was gone. Shannon got me a glass of some sort of really strong amber-colored liquor and forced me to drink it. I was warm and numb by the time she got me back to my room and tucked in.

“I’m so sorry, Clara.” She curled in next to me and she slept. Me, I stared up at the ceiling and the next day I got up before her and went to the only place I knew I would be safe from emotions—the comic book store. I would just hide inside my immaturity again.

***

S
hannon dragged me out at five in the morning with a group of about twelve of us to Disneyland for New Years’ Eve. I wasn’t in the mood but I wanted her to feel as if she was making this difference in my life. There really wasn’t a difference to be made. Dax made his choice. I tried to call them all last night, and with each number came the, ‘This number is no longer in service’ message. I went totally numb at that point. So it was over. As we walked past JoJo’s Train and stopped in front of Dumbo to get in line for the Merry Go Round, I realized I just wanted to go home. I looked up at Shannon and she gave me that sad smile. She didn’t know how to not pity me. She was a ‘get over it’ kinda girl. I was a ‘I just lost the love of my life’ kinda girl and was going to feel every second of the agony. Pathetic, I know, but I didn’t care. Love was ugly and dramatic and I was going to feel every damned inch of my pain.

“Go.” She nudged her head. I gave her a quick hug and made my way through the nearly unbearable crowds of Disneyland until I finally made it through the castle. I stopped and looked out over the bridge. The crowd seemed to part and then it all stopped. Everyone moved in slow motion. I tried to blink away that feeling of being caught underwater. When my eyes opened he was gone. I moved forward and the crowd went in a wave and cleared.

Dax.

He was standing in the middle of the wishing star, hands all casual in his pockets with that crooked smirk on his full lips. He looked healthy, fresh, and alive.

I was shoving, running, calling out for him and he didn’t move. He waited for me to get to him and when I did I threw myself at him. He grunted and I reeled back.

“Oh no you fucking don’t.” He pulled me back in and his lips were against mine. Hungry, starved, and rough.

He was kissing me like I gave him life. As if we would collapse to the ground right now if he didn’t eat me alive with his kiss. Finally he pulled away and I acted on instinct. I slapped him.

Ouch.

Didn’t think that through.

“You’re here.”

He was rubbing his cheek and lau
ghing. “Yeah, baby. I’m here.” He brushed my hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear.

I did it again. I slapped him.

“
What took you so long? Your phone is disconnect
ed, the house empty! I thought─”

He pulled me into his body and his big, muscular a
rms came around me. His hand was flat against my lower back and he was brushing his thumb back and forth over the sliver of exposed skin. Dax looked down at me like he wanted to eat me. He licked his lips and I felt my body tremble and my fingers brushed over the little hairs at the back of his neck. His blue eyes glittered with mischief.

“You left me,” I finished, tears of relief leaking.

“No, baby. We didn’t expect you to come home. No one was calling because they took me to DC to get better care. No one had time. The phones were cut off for protection, our location was—classified.” He grinned and he just felt all kinds of bad ass, I could tell.

He leaned down and ran his tongue down my neck, then back up. His lips nuzzled my ear. “I need to fuck you, Clara. I need to bottom out in that tight little cunt and remember to breathe again.”

Gulp.

Dax Trenton was back.

We turned to head out of the park and cheering and whooping sounded behind us. I turned to see Shannon, Todd, and Paul all watching us, very amused.

My shitty friends were shits.

I gave them the bird and Shannon just took that wrong. “Yeah, get it, girl!”

I rolled my eyes and we left. We were going home. I was going home with Dax. A Dax Trenton that was alive and whole and really wanted to fuck me. On the way home he fingered me until I came twice. Then once his car was parked out front he threw me over his shoulder and raced me up the stairs to my room. He didn’t wait. This wasn’t slow or planned. No one was going to have patience anymore as our clothes were ripped, pulled, and stripped from us. Then he was inside me. He drove in with brutal force, and the pain that mixed with the pleasure of his big cock filling me was bliss. I clawed at his back, my legs coming up around his waist until my heels dug into his steel slab of ass. He started to move and he growled.