BAD WICKED TWISTED: A Briarcrest Academy Box Set (25 page)

“How would you know if I was dramatic?” I yelled at her, my anger escalating. “You know nothing about my life. You don’t even
look
at me half the time, much less see who I really am!”

“You’re a sick girl who has to repeat words in her head so she can function.” She took a drag off the cigarette and then pointed it at me. “You’re screwed up . . . that’s who you are.”

I gripped my purse, wanting to run. “Don’t you see that you’ve ruined the person I could have been.” I got my courage up and said the truth. “Mother, I told you when I was fourteen years old that Finn was crawling in my bed at night, forcing himself on me, and you ignored me! It went on for months! You called me a liar!”

“Shut up!” she screamed, but I didn’t stop.

“And now . . . now, you’re telling me he’s coming back to live here! With me alone in this house!” I said, clenching my hands into fists.

She rolled her eyes. “God, just shut up and about Finn! He never touched you. You and I both know you made that up.”

Tears stung my eyes at the pain her words caused. “You’re just as sick as he is,” I whispered.

Her eyes bulged out, and she slapped me so hard that my purse fell on the kitchen floor, its contents spilling out across the marble tile. She bent over and picked up my knife and eyed it warily but sat it back down when she saw my silver case. She snatched it up, popped it open and glared at me. “This, Nora! This is what’s wrong with you! You’re using drugs! You blame everyone else for your problems, when it’s your own fault, not Finn’s and not mine. God, my own daughter is an addict!”

I cradled my stinging cheek as I laughed at her. “I’ve only done coke one time, Mother,
one time.
Finn was the one who gave it to me. It’s his cocaine.”

I bent to pick up my phone and opened it with shaking hands. I found the hateful images stored there and shoved it in her face. Her skin whitened as she saw it. “Look, this is how your precious son posed me the last time he raped me. He got me high on cocaine, Mother. He took pictures of an innocent young girl like this! He used me and then let his friend from school have a turn! Is that brotherly love?” I said, my body shaking all over at admitting out loud what had happened to me.

She shook her head at me, “You’re a whore!”

I gave her a look of disgust and gathered up my purse, knife, and keys. There’s no reasoning with a mad woman. “Keep the coke. You might need it,” I said.

“You are
not
leaving this house, Nora!” She grabbed my shoulders, her nails digging into my skin. “If you walk out that door, I will never speak to you again,” she said. She meant it. Silence was her ultimate punishment for me.

I tore her fingers out of my arm and backed up from her, trying to get closer to the door, knowing to not turn my back. I knew her ways.

I said, “There was a time when I needed you. I came to you and told you what was happening, and you convinced yourself I was a liar, because you didn’t want to believe your son would be so twisted. Because what would your high society friends and
Good Morning, Dallas
fans think if they knew your precious son was touching your daughter? What if they found out he was my half-brother and didn’t belong to dad? What if he was arrested? No, Mother, you chose yourself and left me to suffer.”

She winced, like I’d struck a nerve.

“There were nights when I was alone, and I’d lay in bed with knives. I didn’t know if I wanted to kill myself, kill Finn, or kill you. I tried to become this perfect person, hoping you would love me. I got the best grades, I played the piano, I paraded myself around in stupid dresses, I won a national spelling bee,” I said.

She sighed. “You’re exaggerating as usual, Nora.”

“No,” I choked out, letting the tears pour down my face, not getting why she wouldn’t just
love
me. Why couldn’t anyone just
love
me.

She smirked. “God, do you need me here to cuddle you at night? Grow up. And don’t think I’ll give you a dime if you leave. You’ll get nothing from me, do you understand? You can forget piano lessons and going to Princeton.”

“All I ever needed was love,” I whispered.

She laughed. “Please. Stop with the drama.”

I walked over to stare down at the weight scale. She’d placed them next to the fridge years ago. “I am never getting on this scale again,” I said, picking it up. I slammed it down against the marble floor until the face snapped off and bits of white enamel innards flew around the kitchen. Breathing heavily, I stood up and looked at Mother whose mouth gaped open in shock. Wait until she saw her china.

“Goodbye, Mother,” I said in a tired voice. I walked out the door, leaving the house of hell where I’d grown up.

As I drove away, I felt something new spark inside me, and I think it was hope, burning like a tiny flame, flickering back to life.

ACCEPTANCE SETTLED OVER me, wrapping around me like a warm blanket as I drove aimlessly around Dallas, not noticing or caring where my headlights led me. Tonight I’d stood up for myself; I’d confronted her with the truth. And in doing so, I’d released some of the darkness I’d carried around for so long. Oh, I wasn’t suddenly magically happy. I wasn’t going to bust out singing “Kumbaya.”

But something had altered within my sprit tonight.

I didn’t need a list. I didn’t need to be bad.

I needed to find myself, find the good parts of me and hang on tight.

I turned my car into Club Vita’s parking lot and sat there, looking up at the window that I knew was Leo’s room. He’d crushed the deepest part of me tonight by choosing Tiffani. How long would they be together? Would he dump her soon or eventually fall in love and commit to her? Whatever happened, I didn’t want to be the sad girl who waited in the wings for Leo’s relationships to combust.

I wanted my own happy moments.

I glanced up when I saw the first rays of the sunrise peeking over the horizon.

It was a new beginning, the dawn of a new day, and I wanted to live it.

BY SEVEN THAT morning, Aunt Portia had pulled up at the bakery, so I moved my car over to her side of the street. When I walked in, she saw my face and wrapped me in her apron and hugged me hard. I let her hold me, inhaling the comforting scent of baked goods that lingered in the shop. She made me sit while she grabbed cinnamon rolls and two cups of hot chocolate piled high with whipped cream. We settled in at a table near the window. I told her about my fight with Mother; I told her about Finn.

She cried and told me she loved me.

Since her apartment was an hour from BA, we’d made a tentative plan for me to sleep in the attic space above the shop. She had an extra twin bed I could use, and the employee’s bathroom would be my bathroom. There wasn’t a shower, but when Mila dropped by for lunch that day, she said I could come to her house after school for showers.

And so the weekend passed slowly. I spent most of Sunday in my bed in the attic and on Monday, I went to school as if nothing had changed.

After school, Sebastian came in the shop with my shoes and my dress, which was covered in a local dry-cleaner’s plastic. He said Leo had had it dry-cleaned.

I got us coffees and two bear claws, watching in amusement as he devoured his and then the rest of mine. I told him about having a fight with my mom and leaving home to live at the shop. I didn’t say a word about Finn.

“Will it be hard not living in the lap of luxury anymore?” he asked.

“Luxury means nothing when you aren’t safe.”

“Whenever you want to talk about it, I’m here,” he said, eyeing me thoughtfully.

“Don’t get all serious on me. It’s like you’re Leo when you do it. I need my flirty Sebastian back.”

“Okay, how about this: you can shower at the gym anytime, sweet thing,” he said with a comical leer.

“And there he is!”

He laughed and gave my hand a squeeze.

Since it was after lunch, I was surprised to hear the door bell go off, signaling someone had come into the shop, so I looked over to see who it was.

It was my dad. He was talking on his phone, dressed for the courthouse in an expensive, well-cut gray suit. He was tall and handsome in an older, successful way with brown hair that still didn’t have any gray. He ended his call, checked the time on his Rolex and strode toward us, his green eyes checking me over.

My mouth had come open, and Sebastian turned to look at where I was staring. “Who’s that?”

“My dad,” I said weakly, closing my mouth. “I’m just surprised to see him. The last time was at the
incident
.”

Dad stopped at our table and put his hand out for Sebastian, “Hello, young man. I’m Robert Blakely, Nora’s dad,” he said, showing his flawless manners and breeding.

Sebastian stood tall, put his hand out, and they shook. “Sebastian Tate,” he said and then warned him with, “I’m a good friend to Nora.”

If my dad detected the grimness of Sebastian’s tone, it didn’t register on his face. Cool and implacable. He nudged his head at Sebastian and turned to me, “Nora, may we speak alone, please?”

I nodded, and Sebastian reluctantly got up and moved a few tables away.

I offered him a coffee but he refused. He sat down across from me. “How many meetings did you have to cancel to come here?”

He sighed. “Never mind that. I’m here because your mother told me about your disagreement.”

I snorted at the word
disagreement
. “Did she tell you she hit me?”

“She did not,” he said emphatically.

“It’s not the first time, you know.” I picked at my fingernails, feeling the rise of anger. Had he come to berate me? To cart me back home? “She called me a whore. I bet she left that part out, too.”

He tilted his head in confusion.

“What exactly did she tell you?” I asked.

“She said you came in late, high on cocaine and dressed inappropriately. She said you refused to give up your keys and walked out.” He fiddled with his cuff links nervously, and I wondered if he really believed Mother’s version.

“And it’s taken you three days to come find me? I could be dead on some street corner from a coke overdose for all you knew.”

He blew out an exasperated breath. “I called Portia, and she told me you were here, Nora. We thought you might need some time to cool down before you came back home, that’s all. I wouldn’t abandon you.”

I laughed out loud. “No, you did that a long time ago.” He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off, “She didn’t tell you everything.”

His mouth thinned in disapproval, and I faltered, remembering how much I’ve always wanted to please him. “Then tell me what happened, Nora,” he said curtly, leaning back in his seat.

My small bit of anger vanished in the face of remembered fear. Dark spots swam in my eyes, making me dizzy. I sat on my shaking hands and leaned my head down until my hair covered my face. I wanted to vomit, but I fought it. He needed to know what had really happened, because I suspected now he never had. “When I was fourteen, Finn raped me. I don’t know how many nights he came into my room when no one was home. The last time . . . the last time he got me high on cocaine and let his friend . . .” I stopped and swallowed, fighting the hated tears, but they came anyway.

“They took pictures. And it didn’t look like rape in the pictures. It looked gross and terrible, like I wanted it,” I choked out, wiping my face with my hands.

“Maybe he posed me, maybe he didn’t. I don’t remember,” I whispered. “I loved him, but never like that. He said it was my fault because it’s always the girl’s fault. He said no one would believe me,” I croaked. “I finally got the courage to tell Mother and she said that . . .” I paused and bit my lip.

“What? What did she say?” he asked, holding his breath. My gut told me he knew what was coming. He’d lived with her for years; he knew the strict rules she lived by. Even he lived by them.

“She told me I was making it up, that Finn only loved me as a brother should. She called me a liar.”

My dad shook his head in disbelief. “Jesus.”

“I thought she’d told you.”

“No, never.”

“I was only a kid, and I didn’t know what to do. I should have told you myself, but I wasn’t old enough to make the right choices.”