Ballad (18 page)

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Authors: Maggie Stiefvater

Tags: #teen, #fiction, #fairy queen, #fairie, #lament

BOOK: Ballad
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Nuala looked back at me.

“Was that okay?” I asked.

Her voice was so incredibly casual that I knew she had to be working hard to make it so. “It was a good kiss. I mean, don’t flatter yourself, it wasn’t the best kiss the world has ever seen, but—”

“Was it okay to kiss you,” I said. I said it really slowly and carefully, because I was trying to work it out for myself too.

Nuala just stared at me, and I stared back at her. Then she carefully unfolded my fingers from hers and pulled her knees away from my knees, and stood up. She stared at me some more from her vantage point above me, her blonde hair falling all around her face as she looked down on me like a killer angel. I just looked back at her, and I was looking so hard that I forgot to think about what my expression was.

Nuala climbed very slowly into my chair and sat down on my lap, her smooth, summer-scented legs curled up on either side of me.
Holy freaking hell
. I was still trying to maintain some control over my brain when she reached out and picked up my arms, one at a time, and linked them around behind her body.

Finally, she leaned toward me with a private, wicked smile on her face that turned me on like nothing ever had.

And she kissed me.

I think you might go to hell for making out with a faerie.

I kissed her back.

I woke up a second before I heard her voice.

“Wake up!” Nuala’s voice was right in my ear. “Someone’s outside.”

I opened my eyes. My right leg was asleep because Nuala was on top of it, smashed beside me in the most comfortable chair in the world. “Hell,” I hissed at her. “My leg’s all pins and needles.”

Nuala slid from my lap, landing noiselessly beside the chair, and looked down at her hand, her face surprised when she realized I still held her fingers. I used her weight to pull myself out of the chair and grimaced as my prickly foot hit the ground. I couldn’t hear anything.

What are we doing?

Nuala’s voice was barely audible. “I want to listen.”

We walked hand in hand toward the back doors. Well, Nuala walked. I limped and felt stupid for it. We stopped just on the other side of the doors, cloaked in warm darkness, standing several feet apart but still holding hands tightly. Like we were playing Red Rover, waiting for something to bust through the door and try to break through our defenses.

Now I heard what Nuala had.

Sullivan
.

There were two voices outside the door, and one of them was unmistakably Sullivan: precise and savage. “ … want to know what business you have here. In the middle of the night right outside the dorms.”

The other voice was lofty, female, and somehow very familiar. “I was camping. I couldn’t sleep so I decided to walk into town.”

“Like hell you did. I saw you set the thyme on fire. I know what that does. You think I don’t know something’s going on here?”

Nuala leaned over swiftly to whisper right into my ear, her lips pressed up against my skin to keep her words from getting to anyone else. “I’ve heard her voice before. She’s been killing solitary fey.”

I didn’t have time to wonder at the idea that both Nuala and I found her voice familiar; the conversation on the other side of the door was still going.

“I think you probably think you’re a lot cleverer than you are,” the female voice said. I could
almost
place it, just from the condescension that dripped from it. “But you don’t really know anything. I think you should let go of my arm before I get really angry and decide to tell the cops something very unfavorable about you.”

Nuala looked at me. “Human,” she whispered.

“Oh, ma’am,” Sullivan’s voice was twenty degrees below zero. “You do not want to threaten me. I have seen so much worse than you.” A pause; scuffling. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what you were doing summoning
Them
right behind my kids’ dorm. Don’t give me any bullshit about camping or herbal research, either. I know.
I know
.”

“It’s not any of your business. If you know anything about Them, you know that you’re better off if you don’t put your nose where it might be cut off.”

Delia
, I thought suddenly, and Nuala frowned at me, not recognizing the name.
Dee’s aunt. I recognize her voice now. The faeries saved her life a long time ago, and she’s been helping Them ever since.

Nuala’s eyebrows arched sharply.

“Don’t tell me what I’m better off doing. I’ve given up the last two years of my life to make sure these kids don’t have to go through what I did.” Sullivan’s voice was a growl. “But all that time, I never thought I’d have to worry about a human. Tell. Me. Why are you here?”

Delia’s voice was frigid. “Fine. I was just using the music here to help me summon one of the
daoine sidhe
. One of them owes me a favor.”

“I must look extremely gullible to you.”

“You look very fragile to me, actually.” A long pause, and I wondered what filled it on the other side of the door. “You look like someone who has a lot to lose, and I know individuals who would be happy to help you lose it.”

Sullivan sounded grim. “You are sadly mistaken. I am delightfully unhindered by the attachments and accumulated possessions of most humans, thanks to your friends. I can, however, make you extremely uncomfortable if you don’t start telling me why you’re here.”

“I’m doing favors for the new queen,” Delia snapped. “Their politics. Things they can’t manage themselves.”

“New queen?” Sullivan’s voice sounded thin. “Eleanor?”

My heart stopped. Why did Sullivan know her name?

“Yes, Eleanor. I scratch her back and she scratches mine.”

Sullivan’s voice was strained. “Why is she here?”

Silence. Was there a nod or a head-shake in there that we couldn’t see? Or just nothing?

Then Sullivan again, sounding uneasy. “There’s a cloverhand
here
?”

Delia laughed. “And to think
you’re
supposed to be protecting these children! You don’t know anything at all.”

Sullivan demanded, “Who is it?”

There was quiet for a minute, and then Nuala and I both jumped back from the door as it rattled on its hinges.

I barely recognized Sullivan’s voice as he snarled, “I’ve killed one of Them and I’m sure a human would be a lot easier. Don’t
screw
with me.”

Delia’s voice was slow, level, and dripping with venom. “Boy, take your hands off me.”

The door jumped again.

“This is all I’m going to say,” Delia said, voice weirdly muffled. “So you’d better listen: You want what They want. You want Them out of the human world, and They want us out of Theirs. I’m killing every faerie who deals with humans, and They’re going to kill every human who deals with faeries. Yeah, some of your
kids
”—this said with contempt—“might die. But in the long run, you’d be an idiot to interfere.”

Sullivan’s voice was more like himself. “Why? Why now?”

“If you know Eleanor, then you know you don’t ask Them why,” Delia said. “Now, do you hear Them coming? They won’t like to see you hassling me. Yeah, I’d let go of me too.”

“I don’t want to see you anywhere on the school grounds again.”

“Oh, you won’t see me again.”

There was silence, and Nuala and I backed away, into the shadows, waiting for Sullivan to come inside. But the doors stayed shut, Sullivan and his secrets behind it.

James

It turned out that Paul and I were the stupidest smart people ever invented, because we couldn’t make the damn play work. We had Megan there, and we had Eric too, lounging over the back of a chair waiting for his part in the script. I’d told Sullivan we didn’t need him yet, which was good, because the only thing we were doing well was making total idiots of ourselves.

Megan, by the piano, frowned at her script. It was all rumpled in her hands, which drove me crazy, but I tried to focus and listen to her deliver her lines instead. She was addressing me, but she didn’t look at me because she hadn’t memorized any lines yet. She said them all flat and gave each word the same emphasis as the last one, so that it all droned together: “ParlortricksLeonSleightofhandThat’sallitis.”

I shifted my weight from shoe to shoe. “Why is the stage sticky? It feels like someone drank a jug of honey and then got sick on the stage. And then maybe peed on it too.”

“That’s not your line!” Paul said.

“No shit,” Eric said. He was peevish because we had yet to make it to the scene with either of his characters in it.

“Okay, the stupid piano is really bothering me,” I said, looking past Megan at its bulk. “Do you think we can get it to the side of the stage when we have to? It’s taking up way too much room.”

“Why do you keep bothering about the piano?” Megan demanded.

“We don’t need it front and center. It’s only getting played in the scenes where Paul can’t do the oboe thing. It’s
in the way
.”

“It
doesn’t matter
,” Megan said. She fluttered her rumpled script in her hands—God, that bothered me, why couldn’t she have just kept it tidy?—and stared at me. “Are we ready to go on?”

Paul suggested, “Do your last line once more.”

I thought she needed to do it about ten more times until it sounded more like a human and less like a female-shaped automaton, but once more was a start.

Megan flapped the damn script again and repeated her line. “ParlortricksLeonSleightofhandThat’sallitis.”

I didn’t have to look at my lines but I felt stupid addressing Megan’s face, so I looked at the top of her head while she stared down at her crumpled papers. “I was there, Anna. I saw him do it. This sucks.”

“That’s not your line!” Paul said.

“No shit,” Eric said. “It’s the truth though.”

“I’m hungry.” Paul’s voice was plaintive. I’d promised them all Chinese take-out if they skipped dinner at the dining hall to practice.

I wanted to write
automaton
on my hand, but I reached into my pocket and got Nuala’s stone instead. I worried it around in my fingers frenetically while I stared at the script and tried to figure out why it felt so colossally stupid doing this. “No food until Eric has his scene at least. This is only a half-hour play, for crying out loud.”

The door creaked and we all looked up guiltily, as if we’d been caught doing something worse than badly acting a play filled with metaphor. I saw Paul mouth the words
“scary hot”
at me a moment before I realized that it was Nuala, letting herself in the red door at the back of the building.

Nuala strode down the center aisle between the folding chairs, looking like an Amazon in tight bell-bottoms and seemingly unconcerned by everyone staring at her. She climbed onto the stage, walked up to me, and snatched my script from me. Her long-sleeved yellow T-shirt showed a tantalizing bit of her belly; there was dark black print down the sleeves that said
inyourhandsinyourhandsinyourhands.

I tried to keep my face normal, but for some reason a smile kept threatening to appear on it, so I just looked at the script in Nuala’s hands like I was reading it with her and said, “Guys, this is Nuala.”

Nuala didn’t look at them. “Hi,” she said. “I’m here to make you not suck. Is that cool?”

“Very cool,” whispered Paul.

Megan glared at Nuala. I think she was jealous. Well, she could get over it. I already felt better with Nuala standing beside me.

“Okay, run through the first scene once so I can see,” Nuala said. I expected someone to question her authority, but nobody did. I think the truth was we were all so glad to see somebody who seemed to know what they were doing, or at least acted like they did, that we didn’t care who it was. She looked at me with one fiendish eyebrow raised, as if confirming that it was okay to take charge.

Like you’ve ever cared about asking my permission before
, I thought, and she smirked. She lightly touched the back of one of my hands—a bit of skin without ink—and handed me the script again. That stupid smile kept wanting to come back again. I sucked in my lower lip and stared at the script until I could control my face. “Everyone ready to try it again?”

Nuala crouched on the edge of the stage, looking predatory, and we ran through the first scene. We made it halfway through, feeling even more idiotic with Nuala watching, before she stopped us.

“Wow,” she said, and took the script from me again. “You guys really do suck.”


Who
are you again?” Megan asked.

Nuala held a hand up to her like
shut up
and frowned at the script. “Okay, first of all, James, you’re all wrong as Leon. Ro—Paul should be Leon. Why do you have him playing Campbell? Campbell is a misunderstood megalomaniac musician prodigy. Clearly you’re supposed to play him.”

The others laughed.

“Is it that obvious?” I asked.

“Oh please,” Nuala said. She waved the script. “This has the subtlety of the bubonic plague. Campbell, the brilliant misunderstood magician genius, and his reliable friend Leon, torn to pieces by a sheeplike society that fears real magic? Boy, I wonder who you might be talking about there. But that’s part of its charm.” She pointed at Megan, who winced, like Nuala was about to shoot lasers from her fingertips. “I think you’ll have an easier time delivering those lines to a Paul-Leon than a James-Leon. Because thinking of James as Leon is like—ha—ha—” Apparently the idea was so implausible she couldn’t even think of a cutting comparison. “Anyway. Try it. And
be
Anna. Haven’t you read the script? Don’t you remember what happens to her?”

“Well, nothing, in comparison to Leon and Campbell.” Megan sniffed.

“That’s because you’re not reading it right.” Nuala flipped through the script, careful to keep the pages crisp and neat—God, I was falling for her so bad—and pointed to a page. “See this here? Crisis of belief. You’ve got to deliver every single one of these lines building up to this part
right here
so that when you say this line, the audience gasps
oh shit
and feels the rug pulled out from under them, just like Anna does.”

Megan rumpled through her script to the line. “I didn’t think of it like that.”

Nuala shrugged like
well you wouldn’t
and looked at me. “So you, you do Paul’s part at the beginning.
You
address the audience as Campbell. Do I have to tell you to believe in the role and make
us believe it too?”

She didn’t have to, and she knew it. I didn’t have to take the script back from her because I had the first page memorized.

“Hold on,” Nuala said, and she walked over to the light dimmer switch. She turned off the lights over the audience and turned on another set of lights on the stage, making it an island of light in a sea of darkness.

Suddenly it was real.

“Now,” she said, in a voice just for me, and pointed. “There’s your mark.”

I walked to the front edge of the stage—
be Campbell
—and held my arms out on either side, like I was welcoming the audience or summoning down something from the skies. “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. I’m Ian Everett Johan Campbell, the third and the last. I hope I can hold your attention. I must tell you that what you see tonight is completely real. It might not be amazing, it might not be shocking, it might not be scandalizing, but I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt: it is real. For that—” I paused. “I am deeply sorry.”

I lowered my arms to my side, bit my lip and looked at the stage, and then turned and walked off stage. Eric clapped in the audience as I joined Nuala by the edge of the stage.

“Thank God, that’s better,” Nuala whispered to me. She didn’t have to say that, either. We watched Paul and Megan play Leon and Anna, and wonder of wonders, Paul was a way better Leon, and either him being Leon or Nuala’s pep talk had made Megan a better Anna. They still had to glance at their scripts, but it actually looked … plausible.

“Parlor tricks, Leon. Sleight of hand,” Megan said. She even shrugged. I mean, like a real person would. “That’s all it is.”

And Paul actually blustered. I mean—he
was
Leon. “I was there, Anna. I saw him do it. There was a woman crying in the audience. They thought it was real. They knew it was real.”

I couldn’t stop grinning.

Nuala pinched the skin of my arm and when I turned to look at her, I saw she was shining, too, with the joy of creation. Something I’d taken for granted my whole life.

Thanks
,
Izzy Leopard,
I thought.

“You needed it,” Nuala said, but I could tell what she meant was
thank you too.

Guys weren’t allowed to bring girls into Seward Hall (under penalty of having your nuts chopped off and sent back to your parents via priority mail), so we waited for the Chinese delivery guy at the door and then dragged the world’s most comfortable chairs from the lobby onto the brick patio.

It was an absolutely gorgeous evening—all yellows, golds, reds, blazing across the hills behind the dorm. A little too cool for bloodsucking insects and a little too warm for goose bumps. Food had never tasted as good as the chicken fried rice eaten out of the box with a plastic fork, lounging on the world’s most comfortable chair with Nuala sitting on the arm.

“I’m trying to tell you, there are people who are allergic to water.” Paul spoke in between bites of something red and slimy looking.

“You can’t be allergic to water,” Megan protested. “The body is like, ninety percent water.”

I interrupted. “Not ninety percent. Nobody’s ninety percent water except for Mrs. Thieves. She practically sloshes when she walks.”

Eric snorted and coughed up some rice.

“Oh, that’s sexy,” Megan said, watching Eric kick the rice off the bricks. “Anyway, no one can be allergic to water. It’s like being allergic to—to—breathing.”

Nuala cast a scathing look toward Megan before speaking, “It’s true. There have been, like, two cases of it ever. I read about it. It was so rare they didn’t diagnose it for
ever
and now those people have to do weird things to keep from killing themselves by living.”

Paul gave Nuala a grateful glance and added, “It’s like those people who are allergic to sunlight. They get super horrible burns when they’re babies, and if they don’t get kept out of the sun, they die of cancer. They have to stay inside with the blinds drawn all the time. Or they get, like, sick blisters all over.”

“That must be horrible,” Eric said. “It’s like being allergic to yourself, or to living. Like you were born to die.”

Nuala looked away, out over the hills. I circled her wrist with my fingers, and her attention jerked back to me. I offered her a forkful of rice. “Want to try some?”

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