Barely Breathing (Just Breathe) (25 page)

I roll over really fast, "Who do you think you are? You don't know me or my reasons. How dare you speak to me as if only what matters is you."

His eyebrows go up surprised, "Oh, she speaks."

He settles into the chair again staring at me for probably a full minute before speaking. I stare back unflinching, who does he really think he is?

"Let me tell you a story."

He takes a deep breath," A long time ago a woman lived in the sea and she was far from happy. She hated it here and couldn't understand how life could be so harsh. You see the first part of her life was pretty happy but then she lost her parents very young, she never really fit in after that.

He stops and looks thoughtful, "That's right, land walkers don't understand young and old here. She was only seven years old when they passed."

He continues before I can make a comment.

"When she was eighteen she decided to check out the surface of the water. She heard rumors about another race of people on land but it was only a rumor. She surfaced and was confronted with a boat. The people on the boat had legs instead of fins. This intrigued her. She realized all the rumors were true. She thought maybe she could get a glimpse of life elsewhere."

He chuckles, "Of course we all know no one born in the sea can change what they were born into."

"She came up at night and watched the same man sit on the bow of the boat and look out at the horizon for hours. She watched him for weeks. His face completely reflected how she felt. She had to know this man."

I know where this is going already but I let him continue, these people have some significance to him obviously.

"One night he had just settled down to watch the sunset and she surfaced. He almost fell off the boat, when he spotted her. At first he thought she must have fallen overboard from another boat, even though they hadn't spotted another living soul in weeks. She laughed at him and he laughed with her. After that they met regularly. She eventually found him on land. He lived in a coastal town on the beach. After many years of meeting him secretly, she had his baby. She gave him that baby to raise on land. When she brought him the baby, that was the last he ever saw of her. She never surfaced again. He did the best he could for the boy but he died shortly after the boy turned eighteen. When the boy turned eighteen he promised his dad that he would come to the sea and find his mom. I think he held on as long as he could but I know that he really died of a broken heart."

Silence fills the air and a tear falls down my cheek. Of course it had to be a sad story. I wait for him to continue but he doesn't.

I ask carefully, "Are you the boy?"

He nods, "I am."

"Did you find your mom?"

He smiles but it doesn't reach his face, "Ah, that is the magic question of the story isn't it? No, I never found her. I never found her because Seamus learned about her relationship with my dad and had her killed for breaking the law. See, innocent people have died for no reason at all. What kind of law is that, you can only fall in love with someone of your kind?"

He gets up and his voice cracks a tiny bit, "Now, tell me why you're fighting for the Lior?"

He walks out before I can respond and I'm left again with my own damn conflicted thoughts.

Chapter 45

James

"Get up boy, you have an important job to do." I glance over at Jack and see his eye swelling up from my fist. I'm not even sorry. He nods his head in response to Jaspen's persistence. I pull myself up from the sand and swim away from Jack without a backward glance. I don't know what went down with him and Sara and I don't think I really want to know. I suddenly feel like everything is falling apart. I came here to be with Sara and she doesn't want anything to do with me. I can't believe she actually swam away when she saw me. What is she sorry for, that she was with Jack, or that she doesn't want me anymore. I just want to beat him dead thinking about it. My stomach turns with nausea. I'm so glad Ever isn't with him anymore.

Jaspen stops at the line of fighters firing the sparks off and commands, "Eli, don't bother anymore, we have a better way of getting in now."

Eli glances past Jaspen at me and smiles. Jagged teeth blare out at me and I back up a bit.

"Ah, their bark is worse than their bite, James." and he places his hand on my shoulder.

Jaspen asks, "Eli, would you like the honors first?"

He nods and commands another armor clad Erebus behind him. They each grab one of my arms. I glare at Jaspen still really pissed. He can tell because he clucks his tongue and shakes his head.

"James, if you don't focus, you will end up somewhere unfavorable, and get killed. You will be of no use to us, dead."

I close my eyes trying to clear my thoughts of anything having to do with Sara. It's hard to do. Her sad eyes are so fresh in my mind.

I hear Jaspen's voice, "The buildings are on the outer, west edge of the city. They are brown in color and deteriorating, in an abandoned area. If you can get within the area you will find them. Luckily, if I know Seamus, he has cleared the streets, so no one should spot you."

I picture abandoned buildings in the sea. It's hard to do when you've never been there. I picture crossing the shield into the city. The water changes around us and I open my eyes. The Erebus fighters let go of my arms and swim toward the building we are facing. It looks exactly as I had pictured, just in worse shape. I wouldn't be surprised if it crumbled to the ground soon. That's how bad it looks. I follow them into the building. They seem to know exactly where they're going. As I enter the room after them I hear a deep voice say quietly to the Eli guy, "He can't be here."

His eyes bore into me. I notice a turquoise color like Sara's. I shrug my shoulders and swim back out the door, it's not like I want to be here. You don't have to tell me twice. I feel a hand on my arm stopping me, "Wait James." It's Eli. What the hell does he want now?

"I need to go back with you, there's some new developments I need to inform Jaspen of."

I shrug again and swim back out. The building makes me feel claustrophobic. As soon as I leave the doorway, I'm glad to be out of it. Eli comes out a few minutes later and grabs my arm.
So this is it, I'm officially a taxi. What did you do James, to help save the people in the sea? Well, I traveled a million times and went crazy.

I close my eyes and focus on the site of fighting outside the shield. His hand leaves my arm so I assume we made it. One down, a million more to go. I open my eyes and watch Jaspen's reaction to what Eli tells him quietly. He smiles and actually claps his hands like he's excited. Whatever, this dude is really weird.

I turn and glance in the direction where I saw Sara. Jack is nowhere around which is smart on his part. I might've finished the job and put him out of his misery. No wonder he wouldn't talk to me when I got here. He's been messing around with my girlfriend. My blood boils just thinking about it. Suddenly, I want to hit something. I glance over at the fighters. What the hell. This whole thing is just a waste of time and energy. Nothing will happen if they can't get through the shield.

I swim over to Jaspen and ask, "How is the shield controlled?"

He glances over at me and back at Eli. He nods to him and Eli takes off. He turns to me, "Ahh James my boy, if I knew that, don't you think I might have it down by now?"

I shrug, What do I know? Except that I definitely want to hit something and soon. 

Jaspen, loosing interest in me, swims off in the other direction to give orders. And yet again I'm left to my own devices. Five Erebus swim up, followed by Eli. And so it starts. I take three this time and when we get there I notice how tired I suddenly feel. This time Eli tells me to go back and get more before I can follow him into the building. Good, I wasn't about to go in there, anyway.

I take six more groups of three to those stupid buildings and each time they all head into that same one. Pretty soon the building will collapse from too many mer-men.

When I head back this time, I focus on the caves and more importantly my bunk. I need, first sleep, then food. It'll be a while before Jaspen figures out I've stopped being a taxi and by that time, I'll have had some shut eye.

Chapter 46

Ever

I doze in and out of sleep. More out of boredom than needing the rest, if I'm in the battle at all, guess I'll be golden. The question of the hour though is who to fight for. I know I'm ridiculous but as Gabbi says, I overanalyze things, just my nature. Besides being completely uncomfortable and unable to find any positions that don't make some part of my body fall asleep, I've been thinking a lot about Gabbi. She is truly a ray of sunshine, I miss her light. Those days are few and far between here.

There's a scuffle outside the door and the one Erebus that keeps visiting swims in. I know there are more of them. I keep hearing voices. I tried to keep track of how many different voices I heard but I lost count after a while. Maybe there are too many to keep track of. But this one with the turquoise eyes is the only one that comes in.

He sits down in the same chair as always and stares at me. I move around uncomfortable under his gaze. Then I'm struck by a similarity
. Wait, is he?

I look into his eyes and notice his black hair shaggy on top and I close my eyes willing the image from my dream. It is him. He's the one chasing me in the dream. I open my eyes and look past him.

He asks curiously, "What was that? You just looked scared for a minute."

I shake my head and lie, "I was just thinking about something with my brother."

He gets up suddenly and comes closer, "What about your brother?"

I shy away and avoid his gaze, "Nothing I just, I was wondering, is he alright?" My eyes meet his as I ask, pleading for a straight answer.

He backs up more calm now and sits down again, "He's fine."

He sits there for a while just staring at me and nothing is said.

Finally I break the silence with the question that always comes up first in those scary movies. I haven't asked because the bad guy never gives a straight answer, total waste of time, "What are you going to do with me?" I know total cliche'. I had to ask though.

"You mean if you don't join the Erebus?"

I nod unsure how to respond to that statement.

"We've been ordered to kill you." He gets up and swims out not looking back.

My heart starts beating fast and I feel a tingle rise up again.
Oh no, Ever get it together. He didn't actually say they are going to kill me, just if I don't join them. Oh god, I'm going to faint again. Going for a record here. NO, Ever, what was that mantra, commit and deal. Oh yeah, first to decide if I'll be a traitor or not.

Darkness overtakes me again this time completely from fear...

***

I wake with a start again, roll over and find him sitting there staring at me again. This guy is really creepy. Stalk much?

"I brought some fish for you." and he nods at the plate sitting beside me. I try to get up to a sitting position but can't get the strength. He comes over, and pulls me up.

"Um, can I have my hands untied to eat?" He looks at the door for a minute and back at me, then nods. I turn my body a little so he can get at my hands. As soon as they are free I massage my wrists. Not sure how long I've been here but it feels like days. As I shovel the fish into my mouth, I barely swallow and definitely don't notice the taste. Maybe that's the key to this fish thing, completely starve yourself until you can't taste anything. I remember the last time I had to stomach the stuff, Alex showed up at the door with a load of fruit. I wonder when he'll realize I'm gone or if he'll come looking for me. I think I'm pretty much on my own at this point. It always boils down to some stupid choice doesn't it? Just once I want to just do and not think about anything.

The fish is gone too quickly and I'm still hungry. I formulate a plan split second and ask in the sweetest voice I can muster, "Can I get some more, please, I am so famished." I put my hand up to my stomach for the drama. Okay so I'll never get an Oscar, but maybe some stinky fish.