Bargaining for Baby (11 page)

He faced her and his big palms sculpted over her shoulders, winging them slightly in as he held her still with a penetrating gaze.

“The last thing I want,” he said in an earnest tone, “is for you to go through with something you’re not entirely comfortable with.” His intense hooded gaze lowered to her mouth. “So if you’re uncomfortable—” he purposefully, slowly angled his head and his lips grazed hers “—even a little—” his lips brushed again and the hold on her shoulders tightened “—I can always stop.”

Maddy’s nerve endings shorted out. She couldn’t get enough air. Her heart was smashing so madly against her ribs that surely he must have heard the wild thumping.

She’d made the decision to come tonight. She couldn’t go back and yet she didn’t know if she had the strength—the courage—to go forward. She felt small, unremarkable, like she had the day she walked into that woolshed. Jack was a thousand times more than any man she’d known. And despite the confident act, she was just Maddy.

And Maddy was less than perfect.

But when he drew her close and his mouth slanted possessively over hers, the trillion stars in the sky joined with the stars in her head. Sensations, glorious
and absolute, spiraled through her, around her, and she dissolved then surrendered.

Her acceptance and commitment was complete. There would be no turning back. Now the only question seemed to be…

Would she ever want to stop?

He and Maddy arrived at their suite twenty minutes later.

During the cab ride, he’d held her hand in the back seat while she’d chatted on about how much she’d enjoyed the evening. Despite succumbing to him on the balcony—assuring him with the honesty of her caress of how she felt—she was nervous, and he wondered…

She was a city girl, mid-twenties, and worldly with it. He’d assumed she was practiced where men were concerned. Was it possible she was a virgin? He
did
know that she looked incredible in that gown, particularly with her pale silky hair loosely swept up off her neck. Sensuous flowing fabric and glittering gems were her territory. She shone so brightly, she might have stepped off a New York runway. He’d had trouble keeping up with the conversation at the table, he’d been so bewitched by her grace and her beauty, and he didn’t give a damn who’d known it.

Tara Anderson had appreciated glamour to a degree but she’d preferred breeches. He could identify. He was no stranger to tuxedoes but nothing topped the comfort of a pair of jeans and worn-in boots. Escorting Maddy tonight in that spectacular designer dress, however, had him revisiting that long held truth. He’d happily don a stiff collar if it meant having Maddy on his arm.

But, he had to remember, this wasn’t an ongoing thing.

Inside the suite, she moved to the center of the expansive living room and rotated to face him. With her hands clasped high at her waist, the hem of her gown floated out and settled again around her slim ankles.

“Do you usually stay here for the gala weekend?”

“Always.”

Although not in this room. He hadn’t been to Clancy in three years. Hadn’t been anywhere much at all. When he wasn’t at Leadeebrook, he felt irritable. Out of sorts. Home was the only place that seemed to give him any reprieve from the constant rumble of regret that tagged him.

Rubbing his jaw, Jack crossed to the wet bar.

Did no good to let his mind wander in that direction. He’d loved his wife and where she was now, he was certain that she knew it. Long and hard he’d thought over his feelings for Madison Tyler. Hell, he’d over-analyzed them into the ground.

But he was happy with his decision. He wanted her here with him tonight. He only regretted that their time alone would be so brief. No use thinking about her next visit though—if there was one. Women of Maddy’s caliber didn’t stay free for long.

From the overhead rack he retrieved wine glasses.

Maddy’s gesture caught his attention.

“You go ahead,” she said. “But I’m fine.”

He slid the glasses aside. He didn’t want any more to drink. What he wanted was Maddy raveled up in his arms. He wanted to enjoy that heady, high altitude buzz she consistently whipped up inside him.

He wanted to feel her body, naked, beneath his.

Every minute they spent on small talk was one more precious minute wasted.

Intent, he moved toward her, tugging his bow tie free. When Maddy’s eyes widened and her bodice rose on a
silent breath, his step hesitated. What the devil was she afraid of? That he’d throw her down and take what he wanted? He didn’t operate that way. If she’d only relax he’d be more than willing to show her.

He was an arm’s length away when she spun on her heel to face the view of the town lights visible beyond the wall-to-wall window.

“I wonder if we’ll see any Min Min lights tonight,” she said. “You said they bob up around these parts all the time.”

Jack rubbed the back of his neck. More than instinct said she wanted to be here. The way she’d danced with him, clung to him, wasn’t manufactured. Yet something kept touching on her brakes. He’d assured her every way he could. With words, with affection.

Flicking back his jacket, Jack set his hands low on his hips. There were two ways to handle this…slow and ultra steady, or cut to the chase and let this push and pull game be decided upon once and for all.

He wound around to block her view before he folded his hands over hers. Bringing her cool knuckles to his lips, he warmed them with a heartfelt vow.

“Whatever you’re worried about, believe me, Maddy, you don’t need to be.”

He meant that promise to the depths of his soul. He wouldn’t hurt her for the world. He never wanted to cause harm to anyone again, consciously or otherwise.

She rolled her teeth over her bottom lip and Jack frowned. After coming this far he wondered if she might tell him now that she’d been wrong. That she didn’t want to be with him as much as he wanted to be with her.

When she sucked in a breath and finally nodded, relieved, Jack smiled and nodded, too. At the same time, his glance dropped to her lips. Lips he’d remember forever.

His gut kicked with a familiar pleasant tug. This was right.
She
was right. Beyond ready, he lowered his head and claimed her.

Heat rose up his thighs, igniting a trail of flash fires over his skin. The urge to probe deeper, savor more, was alarmingly powerful, near impossible to resist. They were alone. His blood was booming. In his mind she was already writhing beneath him.

Kissing her still, his hands ironed up the curves of her waist. When he reached the bodice of her gown, his fingers encased her sides while each thumb stroked the underside of her breasts. As the kiss grew in intensity, his thumbs circled higher. While she whimpered in her throat and leaned in, he clenched every muscle to stop from satisfying the primal urge to pry those red cups apart.

Instead his mouth reluctantly left hers.

Her eyes were closed, her breathing labored. Her fingers dug into his biceps for support. The delectable burn smoldering below his belt expanded. These past days—watching her, wanting her—had been a bittersweet torture.

Angling, he scooped her off those dainty silver heels and up into the cradle of his jacketed arms. Her lashes fluttered open and his chest grew as she peered up at him with large, dewy eyes. Beyond a set of opened interior double doors, the master bed was in full view. The covers were turned down as he’d instructed. He’d find protection in the bedside drawer. With every cord in his body wound tight, he delivered her into the bedroom.

The room was dark, its open glass slider doors inviting in a cool breeze. Standing in shadows, he was vaguely aware of the moon’s silver claw hanging in the sky, the night song of cicadas and a faint rustling of leaves. He set her on her feet, released his dinner shirt’s top buttons and
then stepped forward to find the zipper at her back. His hot gaze fused with hers, he eased the zipper down.

He felt her slight tremble as he edged one gossamer light sleeve off a slender shoulder then encouraged the next. The gown fell over her curves and landed in an airy puddle at her feet. Hungry, but patient, he soaked up the ethereal vision of her porcelain frame…her high full breasts, scanty red panties, long milky legs ending with sexy spiked heels. He inhaled to the bottom of his lungs then his gaze went to her hair.

“Let it down.”

She hesitated only a heartbeat before reaching with both hands to release the pins. Her hair cascaded but she didn’t shake out the kinks. Rather she looked to him as if waiting for his next move…or approval.

Stepping into the space separating them, he skimmed both sets of fingers up the column of her warm slender neck, carrying the hair high enough to leave ample access. Then he lowered his mouth to her throat and flicked her fast-beating pulse with the tip of his tongue.

She sighed and melted enough that he had to grip her upper arms to save her from slipping. With patience disintegrating, he carefully backed her up.

As she lowered to sit on the side of the bed, he studied her unwittingly erotic form. With his gaze slipping down the hair shimmering over one shoulder, he shucked back his shoulders and began to undress. Jacket first, shirt, and the rest. Then he knelt at her feet and slipped off her shoes.

Listening to her heavy breathing, high on the scent of her perfume, he closed his eyes and trailed his lips—moist, famished, lingering kisses—up her satin smooth shins, and higher…over her thighs, across her bikini line, around one hip—

He felt a lump. And another, like a welt. Frowning, he pulled back and jumped at the light switch. Dear God, had something bitten her?

The soft glow faded up at the same time he asked, “Maddy, what’s wro—?”

The question stuck in his throat.

The scars were white, many and raised. Straight, jagged. Some were dots, reminders of deep puncture wounds. As his heart fisted in his throat, he found her pained face—cheeks red, eyes downcast.

Sick to his stomach, he ground out, “From the attack?”

She dragged the sheet up to cover what she could. Her hair fell in a pale blanket over her brow as she shook her head then shook it again.

“I know. They’re ugly. Please…” She blindly flipped a finger at the switch. “Turn off the light.”

But he found her free hand and pressed her palm to his cheek. Now it was clear. Now he understood. This why she’d seemed so uncertain.

He brushed his lips over her inside wrist.

“Maddy, do you think that could make a difference to how I feel?”

She slowly looked at him, question marks in her searching gaze. He gave her time to absorb the honesty in his eyes then she let him ease the sheet down.

He kissed the marks. Each and every one. After a time, when her fisted hands relaxed and her stiffness eased, he continued up until his mouth found and captured hers. He maneuvered her back until she lay flat and as she wound her hands through his hair, he pressed in, kissing her as desperately as she was now kissing him.

His descending touch found her more ready than he could have hoped. She was swollen, so wet. He wanted to
explore her, enjoy her, with everything she might crave and he so badly needed to give. He lowered her panties as his mouth trailed a seductive line down her neck to her breasts.

His fingertip drew tiny pressure circles round the bead above her folds while his tongue twirled over her nipples. Her nails alternately skimmed or dug half moons into his back. Every so often she made little noises that shot flaming arrows to his groin. Soon she was grinding her hips into the sheet or curling them up to intensify his touch.

The second she tensed and her hand came over to hold his in place, he drew back and saw to protection before he joined her again. Searching her eyes in the shadows, he opened her with his fingers then eased partly in.

She tightened around his tip. As she squeezed around him, her hands filed up the plane of his chest, her fingers fanning and winding over his muscles. Something tinkled. The wedding band on his gold chain. He stopped, visualized the ring and what it stood for but when she began to breathe again, that image faded and he continued to move…a little deeper, a little harder.

Every inch of him was steamy and his heart was a fast-pumping piston by the time he brought her leg high over the back of his thigh. Her calf clamped down to hold him firm. Reading the sign, he drove in all the way.

The fit was glorious, the impulse to give in was mind blowing. The mighty force to reward physical necessity was an avalanche crashing on his back. Clenching every muscle, he tucked in his chin until it met his chest, but it was no good. This was way beyond control.

When she stilled, too, she set off a chain reaction he couldn’t prevent. She gave a breathy pant of air, a delicious, full body shudder. Then she threw back her head and her
hips jutted off the mattress. Double-gripping the sheet, Maddy cried out and Jack’s long-anticipated landslide pushed through.

The release was so complete it seemed to tear his every fiber apart at the same time a primal sound squeezed from his chest. Circling his arm above her head, he swallowed her sigh with a penetrating kiss. Lost in sensation, soaring on the high, Jack scooped his other arm beneath her back and dragged her closer still. Deeply physical, gloriously fierce. This was a passion the likes of which he’d never tasted before. And must taste again.

L
ater, still floating from the effects of their lovemaking, Maddy lay with the sheet draped over her legs, drawing lazy circles through the crisp dark hair that dusted Jack’s chest. With his arm around her and fingertips trailing up and down her side, she thought over the amazing time they’d spent together in this bed. Her anxiety had been unwarranted. He’d discovered the scars but hadn’t been revolted. In fact, she’d never felt more adored.

Her hand wandered higher, into the warm beating hollow of his throat, and her fingers met with the cool of the chain he wore and the circle of the ring threaded through it.

A gold ring.

Maddy stilled, then her palm flattened and slid down to rest on the hard ridges of his abdomen. She’d seen the wedding band before, when he’d taken off his shirt that
first day in the nursery, but with so many other things crashing through her mind, she’d thought little of it.

Did he ever take the ring off? If he hadn’t tonight, when making love with her had been his intention, she guessed not. Did he wear it around his neck to keep it close to his heart?

Although he didn’t show his feelings often, Jack Prescott was a man capable of deep emotion. Of deep loyalty. Some people gave their heart to only one person in their lifetime. Jack had obviously found his soul mate. Had found her and then lost her three years ago.

Maddy’s brow pinched and her stomach knotted.

Where did that leave
her
in his affections?

But she shook herself. Tonight wasn’t about eternity. He’d never intimated that it was. After knowing each other a week, how could it be?

The ring around his neck was an acknowledgement as well as a sign that couldn’t be mistaken. What they shared was a mountain above wonderful but their time together here was based on physical attraction. The electricity that crackled between them was real, was strong. But, where it counted, that ring said he would always belong to someone else.

She breathed in his woodsy masculine scent and snuggled closer.

Still, she couldn’t regret agreeing to this arrangement. He wasn’t wearing that ring to hurt her. The simple truth was that she wouldn’t have missed these past hours for anything.

She’d read about men who made love the way Jack did. Unselfishly. Finding so much pleasure in giving. He’d lifted her to another sphere of awareness, of passion, where more than bodies had joined. She’d never felt closer to another human being. The feeling of absolute rapture
would live with her long after tonight was over. So would his reaction after his lips had grazed her hip.

He’d been so supportive when he’d discovered her scars. The last man she’d come close to being intimate with had recoiled in horror. She’d dated that guy for five months. She thought she’d known him. Had wanted to trust him.

Did anyone ever truly know someone else?

Heck, when it came down to it, maybe Jack was just a really good actor.

Easing the sheet higher, she murmured against his chest. She had to ask.

“Those scars are pretty scary, huh?”

“The scars aren’t scary.” His chest hardened more as he craned to brush his lips over her crown. “What you must have gone through would’ve been.”

A cold shaft whistled through her center and Maddy shut her eyes. She didn’t like to think about that day. Whenever the memories surfaced she pushed them down as far as she could. But now she lifted the lid a little and dared to let them rise.

The images were fuzzy.

What had she been wearing? She’d been riding to the shop, but to buy what? Milk, perhaps. Bread. She thought harder but didn’t shudder, not like she used to whenever memories had crept up and caught her unawares. The nightmares had been the worst.

“I fell off my bike,” she said and realized she’d spoken aloud. “The dog was on me before I could find the handlebars. The real pain didn’t hit until later. There was no internal damage.”

He tugged her close and spoke against her hair. “Something to be grateful for, I suppose.”

Other recollections swam up.

“The doctors and nurses were great. I was a long time in
the hospital. When he visited, my dad’s face was lined with guilt. He’d given me the bike. Said with lots of practice I’d get better. I was a bit of a klutz.”

“You wouldn’t know it now. You move like a vision.”

She laughed softly. “I do not.”

“Believe me, you’re not that klutzy kid anymore. You’re a very desirable woman.”

She laughed again. “
Very
desirable.”

“Very, very desirable. That’s something that comes from inside.”

In the shadows, she pushed up on one elbow. When she found his eyes, she sent him a mock chagrined look. “You’re such a charmer.”

“Are you doubting my sincerity? Because if you are—” he shifted until his nose was an inch from hers “—I should show you how serious I am.”

His kiss was tender and at the same time held more meaning and passion than any other. At that moment Jack wasn’t Dahlia’s brother, or Beau’s uncle, or even an enigmatic, sexy-to-a-fault grazier. He was the man who’d transformed her into the most beautiful woman in the world. And the feeling was fairy tale fabulous. It was also almost sad.

No one would ever be better than Jack.

When her throat closed off and emotion pricked behind her eyes, Maddy broke from the kiss and wriggled out from beneath him.

Hormones. One minute she was floating, the next she wanted to cry. Too much excitement. Too much emotion. She needed to take a few deep breaths and focus on something else.

When her feet sunk into the soft carpet, she dragged the sheet along with her. “I wonder what Beau’s doing now?”

“Sleeping. Where’re you going?”

“To get some fresh air.”

She moved out onto the balcony where the smattering of town lights twinkled below and mournful curlews cried out in the distance. She was still thinking about Beau when something soft and warm wrapped around her shoulders. Then big hands raveled the blanket around her middle and pressed in.

Jack’s deep voice was at her ear. “It can get chilly out here at night.”

“I hope Beau’s warm enough. Maybe I should have put him in his fleecy PJs.”

Chuckling, he grazed his chin over her hair. “You’re quite the mother hen, aren’t you?”

“He’s a cute kid.” She smiled into the night, remembering way back. “He reminds me of a life-size baby doll I used to have.”

“Dolls, huh? Dahlia liked skipping. One summer she skipped so much I thought her brain would get shaken out of her head.”

“And she liked horses?”

“Sure.” There was a pregnant pause. “You should try it.”

Grinning, she wrestled the blanket more firmly around her. “The day I get on a horse, Jack Prescott, is the day I change my name and dance the polka.”

His smile grazed her temple. “My mother didn’t like horses much either, even though she’d ridden since she was five.”

“How did your parents meet?”

“At a dance. My mother was visiting a cousin. My father fell in love with her on sight.” He grinned. “Or that’s what he told us kids.”

She imagined a couple thirty-odd years ago locked in each other’s gazes and an intimate embrace while they
moved around a dance floor. The man she imagined looked a lot like Jack. A heart-warming glow filtered through her and she smiled.

“I bet your father treated her like a queen.”

“He’d have given her anything she wanted,” he said, “But she didn’t want a lot.” He exhaled and his tone changed. “She had a dream of taking a long vacation on an island. She had a thing for that movie
Endless Love.
Dad booked the flight without her knowing. They’d only been gone a week when she went out swimming and got in trouble. He went out to help.”

Maddy held her sinking stomach and pivoted to face him. So that’s how he’d lost his parents.

“Jack…I’m so sorry.”

Even sorrier that she’d spoken up so strongly about that creek. After losing his parents to a drowning accident she was sure he would rather die himself than risk placing Beau in similar danger. Or any danger, for that matter.

Her palm fanned over his hot bare shoulder. “It must have been hard losing them both.”

His eyes glistened in the shadows. He didn’t seem to be looking at her but rather through her. “Dahlia didn’t take it well.”

“Is that why she left for Sydney?”

That bronzed shoulder lifted and fell. “She said she didn’t want to be stuck at Leadeebrook like Mum had been all her life. She wasn’t going to be trapped.” A humorless smile tugged one side of his mouth. “My sister didn’t get that if Mum and Dad had stayed on the station they’d still be alive.”

Maddy angled her head. Had she heard right?

“Jack, you can’t look at it like that. Your parents were on vacation, a well-deserved one, I’m sure. It was an accident.”

“An accident they could’ve avoided.”

The line of his mouth hardened and he didn’t say the rest although Maddy could guess.
Like Dahlia’s accident could’ve been avoided if she’d stayed at home.

She had to know for Beau’s sake.

Taking his hand, she turned so he held her again while they gazed out over the peaceful outback view. A falling star trailed through the star-studded sky.

“I was speaking to Cait about the nursery,” she began. “She told me that you and your wife decorated it.”

When his silence stretched out, Maddy cursed herself. She shouldn’t have brought it up. If he told her not to speak of it again she wouldn’t blame him. Three years was a heartbeat when you were trying to get over a tragedy. She knew.

She’d accepted that he wouldn’t reply when his deep voice rumbled over her head.

“The contractions started at three in the morning. She was so excited and anxious. I reminded her that we were a month from the due date. On our last visit the doctor explained about Braxton Hicks. Basically false alarm contractions. A storm was raging outside. The contractions eased but she wanted to go into town and check with the doctor. Her own mother had died in childbirth and now she couldn’t seem to think of anything but that. I tried to calm her. Told her we’d wait until light. When she started to cry…” He groaned and exhaled slowly before ending. “I packed her up and headed off. A tree came down on the car. I lived. Lesson learned.”

Maddy was holding her stomach, her moist eyes shut. She couldn’t bear to think of his pain.

“What lesson is that?” she finally got out.

“Don’t tempt fate.”

“But no one could guess such a terrible thing would have happened.”

“Terrible things seem to follow me around.”

Maddy’s heart fell. She’d never felt more pity for anyone in her life. He’d lost everyone he’d loved including his unborn child and he blamed himself because he couldn’t control the uncontrollable. No wonder he wanted to lock himself away from the world, somewhere he believed he and his memories could be safe. He so desperately wanted to go back in time and make everyone else safe there, too.

But he’d ventured beyond Leadeebrook boundaries tonight. He’d wanted to share an experience with her, the gala, dancing…making love.

“None of those things were your fault,” she said, wishing he could lower his defenses for a moment and see.

“Doesn’t change the fact that the people I loved most are gone.”

She turned in the circle of his arms and held his gaze with hers. “If I was in trouble, if I needed someone to be there to rescue me…I’d choose you.”

His gaze softened only to darken more. “And if I failed?”

“Then no one could have saved me.”

Maddy thought of her mother, how the leukemia had won; Helen Tyler had accepted her fate even when her husband had begged her to fight. By being strong now—for her father, for her future—in some weird way Maddy felt as if she was making her mother strong, too, and fixing what no one could fix back then.

She’d never admitted those feelings to anyone. Would Jack understand if she told him?

When she shivered, he scooped her close and whispered in a deep sexy drawl, “Come back to bed.”

After they moved inside, they made love again, and this time was even better than the first. Then they talked. Talked until dawn. About school days and old friendships. About far-reaching hopes and some of their dreams. When she told him about her father and then her mother’s illness—how she wanted to be strong for her now—he brushed the hair from her cheek and with the softest smile said he understood.

When she and Jack arrived at Leadeebrook at seven the next morning, Maddy was bleary-eyed from lack of sleep. She was also pulsing with new energy and heartsick about leaving the next day.

The time had gone too quickly. Even the dry heat and the dust were somehow welcome today. A part of her was even glad to see Nell darting out to greet them.

As they made their way up the front steps, the bold eastern sun warming their backs, Maddy was gripped by an overwhelming need to have this day stretch out like an endless piece of string. She couldn’t think of another way to put off the flight she’d booked for herself for Sydney.

Jack had offered to fly her but she’d declined. Saying goodbye here would be tough enough. If he flew her home, she’d be tempted to ask him to stay. Or to ask if she could fly back with him. Ridiculous.

She’d had one heck of a week at Leadeebrook Station and, to top it off, an unbelievable time last night. The hopeless romantic inside her wanted to be swept up into that spell again. But the responsible woman knew a rerun wasn’t possible.

Or was it?

The notion of spending more time here with Jack ribboned around her like a bright new promise and Maddy’s face flushed with hope and shame. The basis of Jack’s offer for her to return to Leadeebrook had been to visit Beau. She’d been so happy and relieved when he’d suggested it. She’d dreaded the thought of not knowing when she’d see the baby next. After the incredible hours spent in Jack’s arms last night, was it wrong to speculate on other advantages?

But if she
did
come back, and she and Jack had another fling, how would she define their relationship? They wouldn’t be a couple. She wouldn’t be a friend. Maybe a “friend with benefits.”