Bargaining for Baby (13 page)

The baby wailed. Cait rushed in, Jack a heartbeat behind. The housekeeper threw a frantic look around while Jack strode to the center of the room, his fists clenched and gaze killer fierce.

“What the hell’s going on?”

Maddy flapped her hand at Nell. “That-that
dog
shouldn’t be in here alone with the baby. Her teeth were an inch from his arm. Dogs are unpredictable, Jack.” Sometimes they were savage.

While Maddy scooped Beau from the crib and held him close, Cait’s flushed face calmed and she came slowly forward.

“But Nell wouldn’t hurt the bairn, Maddy.”

Maddy’s heart was bursting through her chest. “No one knows that.”

The dog that had attacked her had been a family pet. She’d told Jack last night. He’d seen the scars. He’d said he’d understood—understood everything.

Or would he pretend as if none of that had happened, the same way he’d wanted to ignore her in the stables just moments ago?

But when he moved forward—when he put his hand over hers where she held the baby’s head close—a static flicker of what they’d known together only hours before zoomed back.

His deep voice was low and gentle. “Maddy…honey…you’re overreacting.”

Maddy wanted to laugh.
She
was overreacting? He was
the one who wanted to lock everyone away behind these beastly remote station walls.

When he brought her close and urged her hot cheek to rest against his chest, she blinked several times. Concentrating on her breathing, on slowing her heartbeat, the dots before her eyes dispersed and, after a short time, most sped away. Nell lay in the corner, tail to the wall, ears down and head flat on her paws. Maddy swayed, leaned more against Jack and the tingling in her limbs began to fade.

She was stressed. Too much emotion. Too many memories stirred. Didn’t change the fact that she would never allow Nell to come so close to Beau again, particularly when the baby was alone. Nothing would change her mind about that, and if anyone thought that was paranoid—tough luck.

But as Jack eased the baby from her arms and Cait called Nell out of the nursery, Maddy filled her lungs with a shuddering breath and the harrowing truth descended.

What could she do about it? If Beau was her child…

But he wasn’t. She had as little say in Beau’s life now as she had a week ago.
Less
. And the longer she stayed and had to swallow that reality, the more frustrated and upset she’d become.

Jack had been blunt but also spot-on. The decision was up to her but maybe it would be better better for everyone if she left and never came back.

I
n his lifetime, Jack had been to hell and back. Determined to find and sustain the strength he’d needed, most of the day he’d ridden the endless Leadeebrook plains on Herc’s back. He’d returned to the homestead calm, cold and resolute.

But moments ago, when he’d taken Beau from Maddy and left her to wash her face and settle down before dinner, he’d been shell-shocked. The weight of the realization was like a stake being thrust into the heart. He was responsible, no one else, for her meltdown.

If she thought she’d fooled him in the stables into thinking their night together had meant little more than an adventurous fling on the side, she was mistaken. If she thought he didn’t understand about Nell tonight in the nursery, after seeing those scars, of course he did. But, as harsh as he might’ve sounded, he meant what he’d said.

Soon her time here would be reduced to a quaint story
retold over Friday night cocktails.
He
would be the one left to make decisions for Beau and, damn right, he trusted Nell. More than he’d trust the drug addicts and pimps who trawled Sydney’s King’s Cross in broad daylight.

Forget about meltdowns and hurt feelings. Madison Tyler would always find fault with his world and he with hers. Fair enough, she was locked into her life and her future. She wanted to leave here to get back to it. Pity was she couldn’t see what she set her compass by.

After their talk last night in Clancy, it was clear her main motivation in her job was her desire to prove herself to her father. Maddy wanted her father, as well as herself, to know she was strong. Strong enough to battle and survive anything.

Hell, who was he fooling? He was no better. He was as stubborn as she was. Worse.

Grumbling to himself, Jack carefully lay the baby down on the changing table. Beau wasn’t his usual chirpy self either. After making a silly sound, Jack blew a raspberry on the baby’s tummy and was rewarded by having his hair pulled by its roots. Little monkey.

Yep, he and Beau James would be happy here. People might call him a wealthy recluse behind his back, but so what? He wasn’t budging, just like Maddy wasn’t giving up Sydney or her dad.

Jack sprinkled powder, slipped on the diaper, smoothed over the tabs.

When an hour later, Maddy hadn’t emerged from her room, Cait ventured in with a small plate of supper. Jack wasn’t too hungry either, but he made a show for Cait’s sake then took Beau out onto the veranda. He settled down on a chair with the baby on his lap. They were both keeping watch over another peaceful night when Snow Gibson rode up.

With that notorious bow-legged stride, Snow ascended the steps, found a beer in the outside fridge, tickled Beau’s chin then pulled up a seat.

Jack said, “Missed you at supper.” Snow had always joined him and Cait for Sunday dinner at the homestead.

“I sent word to Cait I wouldn’t make it tonight.”

“She said. What’s up?”

Snow chugged on his beer then concentrated on the horizon.

“When I was your age, Jum, I was hop scotching around the place. Got all the way over to Western Australia one year. Sold carpet in Adelaide for a spell. Alice Springs was blasted hot but I wouldn’t give it back for a row of Sundays. My only regret is that I didn’t find a good woman, one to have that family with.” He grinned over. “Maybe it’s not too late.”

Rearranging Beau, Jack shifted up in his chair. This sounded serious. “What’s going on?”

“The bush is in my blood, but I’m too young to hide away, dig a hole and die just yet.”

Jack caught on and he grinned. “And I am, too, right?”

“What you have here won’t go away.” Beau received an earnest tip of his head. “You want to take that boy of yours and do some living. You’re a rich man. Some’d say filthy rich. Put that money to good use. Get a life.”

Snow stood, finished his beer, hitched up his jeans and headed down the steps.

Jack watched his friend mount and ride away. When he looked down, Beau was asleep. He eased up and headed for the nursery.

He appreciated the concern but Snow didn’t have his facts straight. He wasn’t
dying
here. His aim was to give
Beau a safe upbringing. And he wasn’t about to marry Maddy and have a family, if that was the hint.

Sure, the attraction that zapped between them couldn’t be mistaken and, certainly, Beau loved Maddy. But the gulf that ran between them was as wide as the Murray. He was done thinking about it. Done mulling over the things that were better left to lie.

The kitchen was empty. Cait must’ve taken herself upstairs to bed. Jack entered the darkened nursery but stopped when he saw Maddy curled up in a corner sofa chair. A light blanket was cocooned around her chin. Her wrist, drooped over the arm of the chair, as well as her breathing, said she was sound asleep.

Her hair was a pale shimmering river spilling over her shoulder and he had to curb the impulse to settle Beau down then quietly carry her off to his bed and make love to her the way his body begged him to. But that wouldn’t change the fact she’d be gone tomorrow.

Would she come back?

After today? Not likely.

He’d make sure she saw Beau if ever he landed in Sydney. But one day—and probably soon—Maddy would have her own family. She would be a prize for any man. She’d remember Dahlia’s child fondly. Hopefully remember their night fondly, too. He always would.

Jack laid Beau in his bed and headed for the door. But then he stopped, frowned and turned back.

He couldn’t say where the thought sprang from. He was certain in no possible way would it work. But she did love that baby, and last night proved that they were compatible, in the bedroom as well as intellectually. He knew deep down that advertising wasn’t her thing, it was her father’s.

What if he asked her to stay?

When Maddy’s eyes dragged open, she wasn’t sure of the time.

Rubbing her face, she sharpened her gaze and honed in on the window. Still dark, although a streaking mist hinted at the coming dawn. She straightened, winced. Someone had used her back as a pretzel.

The outline of Beau’s crib cleared out of the shadows and her mind slotted up a gear. Twenty-four hours ago she’d been in Clancy, drifting off in that big beautiful bed, a satisfied smile on her face. Jack’s arms had kept her so warm and close. Yesterday afternoon the illusion had been shattered.

Clenching her teeth against the crick in her spine, she moved to the crib.

She’d made a fool of herself over Nell. She had no say, no power here. Now there was nothing left for her but to escape. And yet what she wouldn’t give to be here with Beau. To be here for him. There were women who’d had to give up their children at birth, or lost them in custody battles or to illness. To accidents. What Jack had endured when he’d lost his unborn baby had to be far worse than this.

On the brighter side there was every likelihood she’d see Beau again. When things settled between her and Jack, she’d contact him, ask when he was coming down to Sydney next. And if he stuck to his agoraphobic routine and refused to leave this place…

Well, she’d simply have to set pride aside and knock on his door. But the dust needed to settle first. Her mission had been to deliver Beau and make certain he was happy. She had and he was. As much as it tore her in two, it was
time to move on. The text she received last night from her father confirmed it.

See you tomorrow. First thing.

After tugging the blanket up around sleeping Beau’s back, she moved to her room next door to pack. She started to toss her ruined Keds in the wastebasket. She didn’t want them dirtying up her suitcase. Instead she slipped them on. She’d get rid of them when she got home.

Dressed in jeans and a simple T-shirt, she’d finished swooping her hair up in a high ponytail when she heard something in the next room. Beau. At least an hour before he usually woke. Did he sense something off-kilter this morning?

He was crying softly by the time she collected his warm little body in her arms. Patting his back, she crooned close to his ear. “Hey, little guy. You hungry already?”

Beau’s brow lowered, he tried to smile but he rubbed his eye with a tiny fist and grumbled again.

Jack appeared in the doorway. His alert gaze shot from the baby to her. He held up a bottle.

“I was up. It’s warm.”

She smiled and a part of her knew in the end everything would be all right. It had to be, for Beau’s sake. She couldn’t afford to blubber or be sullen or even cringe at the performance she’d made last night. Beau would sense the vibes and his welfare counted way and beyond anything else.

Maddy’s insides clenched as she held him tighter still.

Ten minutes from now the cab would be here. But this wasn’t like saying goodbye to Dahlia that black morning. Not like her mother telling her to be good before the bedroom door closed and she heard her father cry.

Maddy nuzzled into Beau’s softness and baby scent and swallowed the tears.

I’m going to see you again. I promise, it won’t be forever.

Jack’s deep voice broke into her thoughts. “Sure I can’t drive you in?”

“I’d rather—” Her words choked off and she cleared her throat. “It’ll be easier.”

He exhaled. Nodded. “Want a coffee? Pot’s brewed.”

“I’ll get one at the airport.”

He nodded again. Slid a foot back. “I’ll get your bags.”

She siphoned in a calming breath. A few minutes and then she’d be gone. From Beau. From Jack. From this place she hadn’t liked yet over time had grown, in some way, attached to.

When Beau whimpered, Maddy sucked it up and put a carefree note into her voice.

“It’s okay, baby.” She pressed her lips to his brow. “Everything’ll be okay. I promise, I promise.”

She stopped. Frowned. Her head slowly drew away before she kissed his brow again. It was warm. Warmer than warm.

Jack had moved off down the hall. Striding out, she called him. “Jack!”

He spun around and must have seen the worry on her face and shot straight back.

She ran a hand over the baby’s brow. “He’s hot. Feel.” He cupped Beau’s face and his eyes darkened. “Maybe he’s teething early. I have baby Tylenol in his bag.”

At the same time Jack’s gaze shot to the changing table, to the bag, Nell materialized out of nowhere. When the dog leaped up on the table, Maddy’s stretched nerves snapped clean through. But before she could act and chase the
dog out, Nell gripped the bag handles between her teeth, jumped down and trotted over.

Maddy’s jaw dropped. “How did…?” She gaped at Jack. “She knows what we said?”

“Sometimes I think she has a better vocabulary than I do.”

Beau began to grizzle and cry, his dear face crumpling and turning beet-red. A bizarre thought struck but Maddy couldn’t shake it. Had Nell sensed Beau wasn’t well last night? Was that why she’d poked her nose in? To check? Maybe she was trying to tell them something now.

Maddy reached to grip Jack’s arm. “We should get him to a doctor.”

But he was already halfway down the hall. To get the keys to his truck? She examined Beau, checking his face, his neck for rashes or spots. There were so many deadly viruses around.

Hearing Jack’s muffled voice, she edged down the hall. He paced the kitchen, cell phone to his ear.

“Dr. Le Monde?” He drove a hand through his hair and, frowning deeply, nodded at the floor. “Yes, it’s urgent.”

H
elp arrived within the hour.

Dr. Le Monde took Beau’s temperature, checked for rashes and other signs of bacterial infection. He concluded Beau’s fever was due to a viral infection. A common cold.

From a separate bag, the doctor revealed a piece of equipment—a vaporizer.

Standing beside the crib, Maddy watched over Beau, who was drifting off to sleep after a dose of medicine.

“I had one of those when I was young,” she said. “It moistens the air. Helps your nose and lungs keep clear.”

Le Monde’s kind brown eyes glowed with approval. “Correct. It’ll make things a little easier for him these next few days.” The doctor put his hand on her shoulder. “Keep up his fluids. Cool boiled water in between feedings. Acetaminophen every four hours. He’ll be irritable but fine soon enough.” He spoke to Jack. “Call if you have
any concerns—” he lifted his bike helmet off the floor by the door “—and I’ll race straight back out.”

Jack saw the doctor off. The bike roared away while Maddy patted Beau’s head with a cool cloth. Her fingers brushed his flushed cheek and a fountain of love drew a soft smile across her face.

She would do anything to take his pain. He could never know how much she cared. How much he was loved.

Jack returned and set up the vaporizer. Beau was almost asleep by the time he switched the device on and stood beside her, gazing down on the baby in his crib as did she.

After a comfortable moment, he said in a hushed voice, “He seems better.”

Beau’s heavy eyes had drooped closed a final time and Maddy exhaled. “Thank heaven. But we’re in for a sleepless night or two.”

His hand shifted on the crib rail, brushed hers, and a frisson of awareness set light to her nerve endings, reminding her of everything she was so desperate to forget. She demanded that her feet move a little to the left. They didn’t listen. If she weren’t so stern, they might have moved to the right, closer to Jack’s natural heat.

The whir of the vaporizer filtered through the room and she drew the sheet over Beau’s shoulder at the same time Jack brushed a curl from his forehead. Their hands touched, lingered, before they each drew away.

“You’ve missed your flight,” he said.

“Guess I have.”

But she wouldn’t think about Pompadour Shoes or her father’s disappointment. She only wanted to soak up the vision of Beau slipping into a peaceful sleep and the knowledge that his illness wasn’t serious. She hated to think of the time they might’ve spent in a city triage unit
in similar circumstances. Not that Jack might not resort to putting his fist through a wall if he thought it’d get someone’s attention.

Now, however, he was almost meek, although she sensed that intense inherent power rippling beneath the calm.

His thumb tapped the crib rail. “You want to call your father?”

“Soon.”

“What’ll you tell him?”

“That I couldn’t get away.” She tried to dredge up an appropriate emotion but in the end she shrugged. “He’ll need to hand over the account to someone else.”

Jack rolled back his shoulders. “I can get you there in—”

“I’m staying.” But she tempered her determined tone with a smile. “No arguments.” And before he could insist, she added, “I’m sure.”

After three days and nights with little sleep for the adults, Beau’s temperature was back to normal, his chest was clear, and his cooing and laughter once again filled the house. Maddy glowed inside when she heard it. Again she was reminded how very precious it was to know that those you loved were well.

Thursday, as Maddy gave Beau his evening bath, she pondered over the Tyler Advertising presentation scheduled for the next day.

Was she sad she wouldn’t be there? Mad? Disappointed in herself?

Ultimately she was proud she’d made the right choice. The only choice. These past few days her place had been here with this child. His health and happiness were the only things that truly mattered.

When Cait came in, Beau kicked his heels, splashing water over the table and floor. Chuckling, Cait rustled a towel out from under the table.

“He’s certainly got his energy back.”

Maddy scooped him out of the baby bath and Cait pat-dried every inch of him. When Maddy took over with the talc, Cait asked, “Have you heard from your father?”

Maddy sighed and shook her head.

Cait had become something of a confidante. Maddy had confessed a little of her feelings for Jack, more about Beau and had also admitted how disappointed her father would be that she’d stayed when she’d promised to go home. Cait had been so supportive, like Maddy imagined her mother would have been. She would never forget this woman’s kindness. She would be sad to leave it behind.

Cait flicked out a new diaper. “Well, we all three thank you for staying. It was a brave move. One you didn’t need to make and yet you did. Give him time. Your father’ll see that, too.”

Jack tiptoed in on his socks. When he saw Beau awake and ready for some fun, he cruised over and pumped his little legs, making him giggle. Maddy stepped aside while Jack prepared to fold Beau into his PJs. He’d gotten pretty good at handling those tiny snaps.

Cait put away the talc then laced her fingers over her waist.

“Now everyone’s here,” she said clearly to get their attention, “I’ve been on the phone to Beatrice Claudia. She runs the hotel in town,” she explained for Maddy’s benefit. “Her poor canary fell off his perch this morning and she’s beside herself. I offered to come stay the night. Share some sherry. Maybe talk her into buying another bird. No one wants to live alone.”

Maddy thought she saw something more flash behind
Cait’s eyes but then the housekeeper straightened and cleared her throat.

“Anyways,” Cait went on, “the crisis here is over. Dinner’s cooked, so if you don’t mind, Jock, I’ll take the truck to town tonight.”

“You know where the keys are,” he offered. “Give my condolences to Mrs. Claudia.”

Cait caught Maddy’s eye before she headed off. “Don’t expect me home before noon.”

Two hours later Beau was asleep.

Maddy enjoyed a long soapy shower then found Jack, equally exhausted and freshly scrubbed, sprawled out on a sofa in the living room. Maddy fell back into the cushions alongside of him.

She sighed. “I could sleep for a week.”

Jack groaned. “Starting now.”

Maddy was zoned out, eyes closed, remembering the rosy tint in Beau’s healthy cheeks tonight, when Jack’s question took her by surprise.

“When will you be heading back?”

She blinked across at him. “You’re that eager to get rid of me?”

Jack sat straighter, ready to deny it, but when Maddy only grinned, his shoulders went down and he smiled, too.

These past days the atmosphere had changed between them again. He was still dynamic and gorgeous—nothing could ever change that. But they’d worked so closely to make sure Beau was comfortable and on the mend. There’d been no time or energy to hold grudges over what had gone before.

She wanted to move on from their awkward discussion in the stables and had all but convinced herself that Nell
would only ever protect the baby; she certainly seemed tuned in to the humans around her and, rather than let the past cloud the present, Maddy decided she should take some solace in that.

Strange to admit but, after these few days, Maddy felt almost at home here and felt close to comfortable again with Jack. He’d done everything he could to help and she appreciated it. Maybe it was time to put her changed feelings into words. No time like the present.

Sitting an arm’s length away, she turned to him. He turned at the same time. Their eyes connected and Maddy felt drawn to him as she had been so many times before. It was as if her body knew the danger to Beau was past and now it was time to get back to other unresolved matters.

But that wasn’t happening. To go there again with Jack would only complicate what had been settled well enough. They’d shared one night. She wasn’t about to make it two, even if she suspected Cait had made herself scarce for precisely that reason.

When his gaze dropped to her mouth, she felt more than saw him lean nearer. A violent tug of war kicked off in her mind, in her heart, and, panicking, she flung up both hands.

“Jack, please…let’s not do this.”

He stopped, nodded gravely. “You’re right.” He slid over. “Let’s do this.”

He dragged her against him and his mouth claimed hers. Astonished as well as instantly, unspeakably aroused, she pushed against his chest but Jack didn’t budge. In fact, he drew her closer, kissed her deeper, and soon, rather than pushing, her hands were flexing and rubbing, wanting to get beneath his shirt.

She was barely aware of being carried from the lounge to his room. When he set her on her feet, their clothes
came off in a flurry while they twirled and stumbled their way over toward his bed. His mouth on hers, he blindly threw back the covers and, breathing labored, swept her up and laid her down, not in a gentle way.

Curled over her in the shadows, his shoulders expanded as he inhaled a hungry breath and apologized. “I’m being too rough.”

She hauled him down. “I won’t break.”

Their mouths crashed together again, and every time his tongue swept around hers, it stroked and teased the wild surge building inside her, a delicious quickening of her blood that left her panting and clinging to his arms, to his hips. When his erection stabbed her belly, she threw him off and swung on top, her thighs spread and clenched over his. Hair spilling across her face, she slowly arched above him and, teasing, grazed the sensitive tips of her breasts over his chest.

It was as if she were acting outside of herself. Released from their cage, her animal instincts had taken over and every part of her could focus only on satisfying the spiraling aching need he stoked so deep inside.

She’d never felt like this before. On fire. Everywhere. Incinerating.

His hot hands cupped her hips and shifted her up then ground her back down. His expression was an uneven mix of darkest lust and burning appreciation.

He craned up and wrapped his lips around one nipple. He tickled the tip with his tongue and, sighing, she gripped his head.

“Guess it’s been building up,” he murmured, tugging at her tender tip with his teeth.

She groaned and writhed. “Only to atomic proportions.”

They rolled again and he pinned her beneath him.
When he entered her—when she felt him fill her until he hit that throbbing unstable spot only he knew about—she gasped then bit her lip and focused. How could that wave reach so high so fast?

He moved again and she gazed up into his eyes with a helpless, keen fascination. All the fine pieces of the universe were hurtling toward her core. The sublime pressure was contracting around that single, bright pulsing light. When he hit that spot again—when he unleashed the critical power that made her so completely, purely his—she drove her spine into the mattress and cried out. A heartbeat later, he followed her over the edge.

When the stars faded, they were both damp with perspiration and out of breath. Yet, as she brushed the hair from her eyes, still humming all over, she had the urge to laugh. She’d never been so out of control in the bedroom. Never so out of control in her
life
. What a racket they’d made.

Thank God Beau was fast asleep and Cait wasn’t around. Maddy hadn’t known lovemaking could be so raw. So beyond anything she’d ever experienced.

After kissing her again—long and slow this time—Jack blew out a satiated breath. “We won’t be able to get away with that kind of noise when he’s older.”

She went to agree but then the deeper meaning behind that statement soaked fully through. Fazed, she glanced across. His expression was easy yet half speculative.

He’d known what he said. How was she supposed to respond? Especially now when every fiber that made up her mind and body buzzed with such bone-deep satisfaction.

Where did they go from here?
How
did they go from here?

A noise filtered down the hall. They both stilled then sprang up.

“Beau.” She flipped back the sheet. “I’ll go check.”

“You’ve barely left his side today. It’s my shift.” His finger stabbed the air. “That’s an order.”

She nodded and watched him drag on his shorts and stride away. She heard Beau squeak, the muffled rumble of Jack’s voice. Then nothing. Slowly her muscles relaxed and she lay down again. Put her hand behind her head. Eventually closed her eyes.

She woke with a start and squinted at the luminous digital clock. After midnight.

She looked across and found she was alone in the bed. Where was Jack? How was Beau? She strained to hear. Had the baby had a relapse?

She swung Jack’s shirt off the floor and, in a hurry, punched her arms through the sleeves. But the room was dark and unfamiliar. On her way to the door, she tripped over something that might have been a boot and landed hard against the drawers.

Pressing her lips together, she swore under her breath.
Damn.
Her little toe felt broken.

Rubbing her foot, gritting her teeth to control the pain, she slowly straightened. A stream of moonlight was beaming in through a crack in the curtain. On top of the drawers, illuminated, that silver framed photo leaped up to greet her. At the frame’s base, a gold circle shone in the moonlight. Holding her breath, Maddy reached to touch…

A wedding ring.

She’d seen this photo the day she’d arrived but everything had moved so fast tonight, she hadn’t thought about it when he’d swept her in here earlier. How would things have played out if she had remembered? Because now she didn’t feel the least bit sexy or impulsive. She felt
like an intruder, particularly given that Jack still wore the matching gold band around his neck.

His words echoed in her mind.

When he’s older… Next time…

She wanted there to be a next time. And a next. But she didn’t know how she felt about making love with a man who still considered himself married the way Jack so clearly did. She certainly wouldn’t go there again with this photo watching over them.