Bearly a Memory: Pacific Northwest Bears: (Shifter Romance) (13 page)

B
rooke was having
one of those out of body experiences where you wanted to make sure you remembered every detail. That way it would be easier to describe it to her shrink in the future.

“So what, deep down you feel like a bear? You dress up? Go to those conventions wearing a tail? Hey, I don’t judge, I live in San Francisco. I’ve seen everything,” she said, holding up her hands.

“I’m not a furry! I’m a shifter – a werebear, if you will,” he said with exasperation. Shouldn’t someone being told that a human and an animal could share a body be considered unique – interesting, even – not that she would think it meant he was into an alternative lifestyle.

“Ok, so shift. Show me your bear. Bring him out. I’d love to meet him,” she said mockingly. She knew she wasn’t being very nice, but she was astronomically pissed off and didn’t feel like playing nice.

“I can’t just show you my bear. I don’t think he would even come out right now. He knows you wouldn’t believe him. He has to trust that you won’t get upset. I really am what I say I am, Brooke. I wouldn’t lie to you. I care about you too much to lie.”

Brooke wanted to believe him, or maybe she didn’t. She thought she had found Mr. Right. Instead, she had a contract out on her life. The cop she’d made out with had some kind of animal split personality, and she just wanted to go home now.

Going home wasn’t an option. Running away again seemed the only choice she had left.

“I think it’s time for me to go,” she said quietly and stood up.

“Don’t go, Brooke. Please, wait,” Tanner said, panic clear in his voice.

“I can’t do this, Tanner. I can’t deal with someone’s mental illness right now. I’m barely holding on to my own sanity!” she cried out to him.

“I’m not crazy!” he growled, his voice pulling up his bear.

Brooke shot her eyes to him; she heard the sound, but that could be faked. What couldn’t be faked was the fact that Tanner was unbuttoning his shirt. She watched as he took off his gun belt and laid it on the floor. He continued disrobing, and Brooke thought about having him stop, but she was getting a free show. Crazy man wanted to do a striptease for her, so be it.

“Would you like me to check my purse for some dollar bills?” she asked with a snarky tone.

Tanner didn’t say anything just finished removing clothing until he was standing in just a pair of black boxer briefs in front of his mate.

“Come on, show me the good stuff before I have to go.” Her tone was mocking, but now it was a cover. He might have been nuts, but Sheriff Rochon was fucking hot. His body was toned top to bottom, a broad chest with flat pecs that were perfectly carved. His stomach had those ridges that made girls go dumb when they saw them. Strong, muscular legs lightly covered with hair. Even his feet were nice. He was physically perfect. Too bad he was crazy.

Tanner didn’t blame her for mocking him. He could only imagine if someone stood before him and said they were an alien or a vampire. Shifters made sense to him, but it’s what he’d always known. Reaching for the band on his briefs, he caught her eyes and pulled them down. He watched Brooke’s eyes drop straight to his cock.

He was hard; he couldn’t help it. Tanner was always hard around his mate. The moment he’d met her he’d been rock hard, and he wasn’t ashamed of being naked.

Brooke took in the long, thick dick in front of her. It could be hers if she was willing to swim in the crazy pool.

“Well, you’ve got the bod. I’ll give you that,” she murmured. She knew she should look away, but she just couldn’t. It was a spectacular penis.

Tanner walked a few steps away to an area in front of the bay window. The shades were already drawn, so he didn’t have to worry about the neighbors seeing him flash his dick around.

“I wish there was another way to do this. Just remember, I’m still inside when he has control. He can’t act without me being on board. He will stay calm and won’t approach you. Just sit there and try to keep an open mind, yeah?” Tanner was trying to stay calm, but this could make or break his future happiness.

“Go for it. Get furry,” she said, waving her hand in the air. She leaned back and crossed her legs and arms in a defiant pose.

Tanner took a deep breath, centering himself. His bear was hesitant, and he didn’t blame him. Telling his bear it would be all right, he reminded his bear he needed to show their mate who they were.

The shift was harder than it had ever been before. His bear tore out of his skin, and it was more painful than he would have liked. It only took a moment, and he kept his eyes on his mate. She went from shocked to horrified to catatonic by the time his four paws hit the floor with a reverberating thud.

Brooklyn Nishi was having a short circuit of epic proportions. Tanner had been standing naked as a jay bird in front of her one second and in the next there was a bear in the living room. A big bear.
Huge
. It was brown and definitely furry, and it was looking right at her.

“Oh shit,” she whispered. “You’re a fucking bear!”

Tanner kept a hold on his bear, telling him to stay as still as he could. She hadn’t screamed, and he was taking that as a good sign.

He told his bear to sit down and not move. Let her look her fill, he told him. She needed time to process what she was seeing. To work through the truth that he was presenting.

“A bear, a real bear. Is that really you, Tanner?” she asked the giant animal sitting on the rug. His head was enormous; she imagined how much wool she’d need to knit him a hat.

Now she knew she was crazy. Bears don’t wear hats. Bears also didn’t sit their asses in people’s living rooms, and she was damn sure they didn’t morph out of a naked man that had been standing in front of her moments before.

Brooke watched as the bear lifted his head up and down in answer to her previous question. “You just nodded. You understand me?”

The bear made a chuffing noise, and Brooke took that as a yes.

Compared to her amnesia, Brooke decided
this
was exactly what a breakdown would feel like. Her inner animal, the one that kept her alive and told her that breathing was better than standing your ground, was whimpering in fear. Her conscious mind was telling her she clearly had to be sleeping. The shimmering light she saw before the bear appeared wasn’t like in the movies. Those people cracked and screamed in pain as they changed into werewolves and the like. It was an ugly, horrifying process.

Tanner just morphed. One second he was standing there – the next, a big ass bear.

“I think I might barf,” she said, covering her mouth with her hand. She knew she shouldn’t move but the need to heave had her bolting to the kitchen.

She was leaning over the sink dry heaving when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She screamed and jumped back.

Tanner was there, still naked, but now back to his hunky man flesh.

“I can’t,” she started.

“Please, I’m still just Tanner. The Sheriff of Apex, Washington. The man that cares so much about you; it’s killing me to see you upset.”

“What am I supposed to do with this information, Tanner?” Brooke needed some instructions. A guide to
Handling Your Current Love Interest and His Inner Animal.
Maybe they sold it at the bookstore?

“I had to tell you. Show you. I need you to understand about shifters. We get one true love in our lifetime. That’s it. We know from the moment we lock eyes with that person that they are the match to our dual souls. Can you imagine spending your life waiting for that spark? To know that the universe found you the perfect mate? Shifters mate for life, Brooke. We are utterly devoted to one person. You are my person, Brooke. You are my One. I’ve loved you from the second your eyes met mine in the hospital.”

“You can’t love someone that quick,” she murmured.

“Really? Because I know you are attracted to me. I know you trusted me enough to be willing to come home with me. I know you feel better when I’m around. I can hear your heartbeat speed up when you see me, then settle into a slow rhythm when I’m touching you. You are drawn to me because even as a human you recognize I’m your mate too.”

Brooke didn’t want to admit that anything he was saying was true. She’d never been in love, so she was just guessing what it felt like. She knew she didn’t want to be away from him. Even if he was a part-time bear. Part-time or all the time? Was the bear talking to her sometimes and not Tanner? These were all very upsetting thoughts that kept her from admitting how much she wanted Tanner Rochon.

“So, what? I say yes, and we all live happily ever after? Really, Tanner?” Brooke couldn’t keep the mockery out of her tone.

“Well, yes. Granted we have to figure out how to get the contract on you gone. But after that’s done, then yes. We can just be together,” he said.

“And just how do you think we are going to get rid of the contract? There are mob guys wanting to kill me because I saw them whack someone,” she said with a sneer, although her voice trembled. Brooke knew her nasty attitude was just covering how scared she was, and she also knew that Tanner could see that too.

“I can’t answer that. I just know that I will do everything I can to keep you safe. I’m a bear; there are advantages. And I trusted you with my secret because I plan on spending the rest of my life with you. I don’t care if that means I have to follow you around the country as you run. I’ll be right behind you the entire way. You are the love of my life, and I’ll die before I let anyone hurt you, Brooke,” Tanner said. He risked her rejection and cupped her face with his hand.

Brooke didn’t think before she rubbed her face against his palm. His scent calmed her, and she liked the heat of his skin against hers.

“You’re still naked,” she murmured glancing down at his dick that was pointing at her like it was the third party in their conversation.

“You care?” he asked.

“No, it’s a nice distraction,” she admitted.

“Well, I am more than willing to be your naked servant anytime you want when we are home,” he offered.

“
H
ome
…” she started. “This isn’t my home, Tanner. I live in California. My parents are there. I can’t go back to work, maybe ever. My life is a mess. I’m being hunted. My boyfriend is a bear. My coping skills are pretty much drained right now.”

“I’m your boyfriend?” he asked, his eyebrows raising in curiosity.

“You know what I mean,” she said, glaring at him.

Tanner risked leaning closer to her. He brought his face just inches from hers; he had her eyes so he knew she would get what he was saying.

“Brooke, I’m your mate. In my world, there is nothing more permanent than bonding to one’s mate. I want that with you. I want to be sealed to you forever. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t do this with anyone but you. I love you, Brooke Nishi. I love how you smell like lemons and your eyes light up when you see me. I love that you are kind to people, and you smile all the time. You listen when I talk, hearing me and taking me in like my words can soak into you. I see your focus. I know you care. I want to be with you, I want to make you mine,” he said, bringing his lips to hers.

She didn’t pull away; she even opened her mouth as he kissed her. She kissed him back.

Brooke felt like an asshole. A hot, naked guy was proposing forever to her, and she was being a chickenshit about accepting it. True, she wasn’t sure what the rules were for inter-species lovin’, but right now, he was all man and all in to her.

Pulling back from him, she took a breath and said, “I can’t make this kind of decision right now, Tanner. My life is in shambles. I don’t know if I’m going to see my next birthday. You saying you’ll protect me is awesome, and I’ll accept any help you are willing to offer. But I can’t promise you forever when I don’t know how long that is going to be for me.”

Brooke had an understanding of her own mortality that was much clearer than it ever had been before.

“I wouldn’t want you to make the choice to bond with me until you were sure. It doesn’t have to be right away. We can still be together. I can still love you with all my heart without the bonding,” he swore to her. Getting her to stay the night in his house would be a win. Getting her to stay in his bed would a dream come true.

“Bond? I thought you said I was already your mate,” she asked confused.

“You are my mate, just like I’m yours. Bonding is what seals us together. Two shifters would bite each other to share blood and DNA with the other. Since you are human, only I would do the biting,” he explained. He saw the shock on her face and reminded himself not all humans thought biting was sexual.

“It would only be once, during sex. I’ve heard it hardly hurts. I’d make sure you were very happy before I did it,” he promised.

“So you bite me and what, infect me with Yogi Bear germs?” She looked at him with an annoyed expression.

Tanner almost laughed. “No, with me. You would still be human, just with a little shifter added in. We age very slowly, and bonding helps slow your aging down too. So we can have long, happy lives together. It will also make it easier for you to carry my cubs if we ever choose to do that.”

“Cubs? Like tiny baby bears?!” Brooke wanted to be horrified, but the thought of cuddly fuzzy baby bears made her ‘
awe
’ button kick in.

“Well yes, our children would be shifters like me,” he said. He really hoped that wouldn’t be a deal breaker. She wasn’t promising him anything, but cubs were just a fact of life. He didn’t even know if she wanted children. The fates wouldn’t match him with someone who didn’t want a family. He was sure of that.

“Yup, too much information. I need to process this, Tanner. You are standing there all sexy, and I’ve still got bear on the brain. I need to lie down. Can you show me where I can sleep tonight? Alone,” she added at the end.

Tanner didn’t want to push. Oh, who was he kidding, of course, he wanted to push. His bear and his dick both were telling him he just needed to cuddle a little closer, and she’d choose his bed. But Tanner didn’t want her doubting her choice for a second. He wanted her with him willingly. He’d be patient. The hard part was over. She knew about his bear. There were no more secrets. Maybe a good night’s rest would have her seeing that being with him wouldn’t be that much different than with a human.

“Sure, baby. Let me grab my clothes,” he said, kissing her forehead and turning back to the living room.

“Don’t think calling me baby is going to keep me from ogling your ass,” she called out as he turned the corner.

“That one was for free,” he answered.

Brooke let herself smile a little. It was a fine ass, but her brain told her if she didn’t get some rest, she wasn’t going to be able to make rational decisions.

Tanner came back into the kitchen wearing his pants, the button undone. “Can I make you some tea before we go up? It might help you sleep.”

“That would be nice, thank you.” She stepped away from the counter. As Tanner made the tea, Brooke wandered around the first floor looking at everything that was Tanner Rochon. Her eyes kept straying to the rug where a bear had been sitting not too long ago. Shaking it off, she turned her attention to the pictures of Tanner’s family covering the walls and tables in the room. She guessed they were family because they all looked like him. Big, broad men, some holding axes and saws. His legacy.

Brooke wasn’t one to turn her nose up at a lumberjack. She thought they were sexy. Not as sexy as cops, but still not bad. There were birthday parties and holiday pictures mixed in different frames through the house. She was impressed by the beautiful china in the dining room. She’d have to ask him about that.

The house wasn’t just where he crashed – Tanner had made it into a home. And knowing he lived alone, it meant that all the work he’d put into it was for a family he’d planned on having in the future. Brooke wasn’t sure if she was the one he was supposed to be making that family with. A very large part of her really wanted to be. Bear and all.

Tanner walked in with a cup of tea and her duffle under his arm. He pointed towards the stairs, and Brooke started up them.

Making it to the top landing, he walked to a door and opened it. Reaching around the corner, he flipped the light switch, and two bedside lamps bathed the room in a warm glow.

This was a guest room that Tanner had decorated in brown and dark green, casual but inviting. His parents often crashed in this room when they didn’t want to drive back out to their cabin.

The bed was king size like his, and he’d purchased mission style furniture for the room, planning on keeping things generic in case he ever needed them for a nursery.

“The door you just passed is the bathroom. There are clean towels on the rack,” he said setting her bag on a bench at the end of the bed. He moved to the nightstand and put the cup of tea down. “TV remotes are in the drawer here,” he said opening the small nightstand.

“I’m through the double doors at the end of the hallway. The house is locked up tight. I’m going down to check again and set the alarms. Nobody is getting in here without me knowing. You’ll be safe here, Brooke,” he tried to assure her.

Brooke looked around the room realizing she was going to be alone. Half of her wanted to drag her Sheriff into his room; the other half was still slapping her around reminding her about the bear in the room.

Rubbing her hands together nervously, Brooke said, “Thanks, Tanner. I’m just going to sleep, and we can talk in the morning.” She said that but had no idea exactly what they were going to discuss. It was not like she had figured anything out in the last few minutes. Maybe sleep would bring clarity.

“Goodnight, Brooke. Call out if you need anything,” he said, walking towards her. He placed a kiss on her forehead and left the room

Tanner wanted to linger, but he couldn’t. He felt sick at her reaction to his bear. She wasn’t mean or hateful about it, just that his timing probably wasn’t the best. She was still there, still sleeping under his roof, and he had to take solace in that.

Heading downstairs, he locked up the house, checking all the doors and windows and then set the alarm. He knew it was going to be a long night with very little sleep.