Beast Machine (22 page)

“
Because you’re neither a
democrat nor republican, and their colors are blue and red,
respectively. We talked about this already. Remember, at the spa?”
Jeffrey tried to nudge some affection out of Chairman Obelis. It
failed. Jeffrey frowned.

Chairman Obelis kept
looking at himself in the tri-fold mirror.

“
Since you’re formally in
the
Philanthropist Party
,
and its only member,
you should wear a color that suits
you
,” said Jeffrey.
Jeffrey began showcasing various ties to the reclusive
billionaire.

There was a black and white
checkered tie, a tie with small blue birds and a yellow background,
one that had a pattern of orange tabbies that each had a word
bubble stating “I hate Mondays!” and one that was a ghastly mixture
of baby blue and baby bottom pink.

“
These are all terrible,
Jeffrey,” shouted Chairman Obelis at the tri-fold mirror. He held
up the black and white checkered tie again, but dropped it on the
ground. “It’s not your fault, but can’t you find me some solid
colored ties? What sort of politician wears a wacky looking
tie?”

“
Well, sir,” said Jeffrey
nervously, “I forgot to pack any ties for you and their stores only
had these sorts of novelty ties.” Jeffrey hung his head in shame;
he thought Chairman Obelis would love the novelty ties. “Stupid,
stupid, stupid,” Jeffrey said to himself.

“
It’s fine, I always have a
back-up,” stated Chairman Obelis calmly. “Please excuse yourself
Jeffrey as I change my undergarments.” Chairman Obelis made the
shoo-shoo motion at Jeffrey.

Jeffrey, head still hung in
shame, walked out of the classroom and into the atrium. He could
hear the crowd in gymnasium ready to meet the candidates. “Such
simple folk,” said Jeffrey under his breath. Jeffrey visibly began
to pout with crossed arms and furrowed brows.

“
Excuse me, partner, but
where’s the gymnasium?” asked a genial white-haired man. The man
stood parallel to Jeffrey, hoping to make eye contact to keep the
conversation friendly.

“
That way,” pointed
Jeffrey, not looking at the man. He kept his eyes focused on his
black pants, which were wrinkled from sitting and standing too
often. His hands smacked the pants to brush off the dirt and lint
that accumulated since arriving in Bella Vista.

“
I’m real eager to see this
Obelis fella; word is he’s going to really set things straight in
Arkansas – and I’m not even from here! He’s already reopened a mine
just south of here and is giving every worker there health
insurance – including their families! What a great man. There
aren’t very many of them left.” The man looked down the hallway. “I
can’t wait to see his other policies. Hope he’s the next Teddy
Roosevelt!” The white-haired man kept parallel to Jeffrey, still
trying to pry some eye contact out of Jeffrey. No luck.

“
Yep,” breathed Jeffrey.
Jeffrey didn’t want to talk to any of these backwater yokels.
“I’m
way
above
these people intellectually and culturally,” thought
Jeffrey.

“
I’m real hopeful to get a
chance to talk to him one day! Really hopeful! Take care, young
man.” The white-haired man walked the way Jeffrey pointed;
disappointed he and Jeffrey didn’t connect eyes. The white-haired
man’s gait was slow but steady.

“
Well, seems like Chairman
Obelis may not even have to perform surgery on all Arkansans –
they’re rather…”

“
Rather what, Jeffrey?”
asked Chairman Obelis, startling the pouting Jeffrey. Chairman
Obelis had fitted himself into an immaculate grey suit. He wore a
white shirt and his backup tie was a deep purple colored
tie.

“
Oh, nothing,” Jeffrey
said. He looked up at Chairman Obelis. Jeffrey was dazzled by
Chairman Obelis’ appearance, more so than usual. “You look dapper,
sir!” He truly did look dapper.

Chairman Obelis nodded at
his assistant. “Thanks Jeffrey, now where’s the
gymnasium?”

“
This way,” pointed Jeffrey
once again towards the gymnasium, but this time he walked alongside
the person. “Do you have your speech prepared, sir?”

“
Speech?” questioned
Chairman Obelis. “I don’t need a speech. I have all I need to say
right up here.” He pointed at his head in confidence. They walked
at the same pace.

“
Sir, I don’t think that’s
a good idea!” said Jeffrey. “Not being well-prepared will lead to
certain defeat! These people need to hear certain things for you to
convince them to vote for you. How could I have overlooked this and
not asked you about a speech?”

Chairman Obelis stopped and
turned toward Jeffrey, “Believe me, I’ve prepared with McCarthy on
what to say and which words can control, erm, entice the masses,
but I’m going to give this debate a bit of
my
touch. I just want to test
something. This isn’t a large part of the electorate, so we can
experiment. McCarthy knows that tonight will be merely an
experimental speech of sorts. Test the waters.”

“
What about the whole
‘teach men to fish’ baloney? Wouldn’t that be going against your
thoughts about humans at large?” asked Jeffrey. “Why do this when
you can safely navigate this debate and let the Carda implants
diffuse through the state before the main election?”

“
I’m giving humanity one
last chance at wanting to change,” said Chairman Obelis firmly.
“This is their chance to take the opportunity with open arms. If
not, I’ll force the opportunity upon them.”

“
I still don’t think that’s
such a good…” trailed off Jeffrey. He wanted everything to go well
and get out of this town without incident.

Chairman Obelis leaned in
closely to Jeffrey.

Jeffrey sat there with
bated breath.

“
Trust me,” said Chairman
Obelis softly, looking directly into Jeffrey’s eyes.

“
Yes, sir,” whispered
Jeffrey. Jeffrey had never felt so wonderful yet delightfully
nervous.

The pair kept walking until
they reached the gymnasium. “Sit in the crowd to gather how they’re
feeling about what I’m saying. They may say harsh things about me,
but do not try to defend me – I don’t want them to accost you if
things turn sour. Remember, this is a
test
.”

Jeffrey nodded obediently.
The two parted ways – Chairman Obelis walked toward the stage,
while Jeffrey tried to find a spot amongst the crowd. Jeffrey found
a seat next to a willowy man wearing overalls and smelling of pork
fat and a portly woman with a terrible case of gastroenteritis and
unshaven legs. Jeffrey subtly covered his nose with a tissue from
his pocket. He made quiet gagging noises, as the smells around him
were just too much to bear.
Gack!

Chairman Obelis scanned the
crowd. He found mostly white faces; white faces so broken, rugged
and sad, that he could not determine their ages. He desperately
wanted to help these people, but knew that they held superficial
values and that the majority of them would only vote for him after
receiving the Carda Implant. This experiment would be Chairman
Obelis’ first
official
foray into the political world and he knew it would be a dirty
prospect, yet it was necessary.

He was of the mind that he
must see people at their worst before he can help them achieve
their best. Just straight up helping these people would be
wonderful, but he wanted to feel their agony and embrace it.
Chairman Obelis believed that very few powerful humans ever truly
tried to embrace the agony the common man felt. Empathy was
important to him.

“
This is merely a test,” he
kept saying to himself.

There were only local media
outlets at the event per Bella Vista local law since the last
debate for governor ended with residents knocking over nearly every
national media van. There never was a particular reason behind the
residents tipping over media vans, aside from rumors that everyone
was “blitzed” out of their minds. No one was badly hurt, but
allowing only local media was ultimately the decision made by Bella
Vista’s city council.

Local police officers roped
off much of the school’s parking lot in an attempt to dissuade
brave national or regional media outlets that still wanted to get
in on the coverage in Bella Vista. Chairman Obelis knew there were
likely media members of large outlets sprinkled through the crowd
disguised as locals, but he paid no mind. The world needed to get
used to his face.

Chairman Obelis took his
place behind the designated podium, right in between the other two
candidates. This was the first time he had physically seen his
competition, though he already knew everything about them – the
good, the bad and the irreverent parts of their lives and
ideals.

To Chairman Obelis’ left
was the republican nominee, Ryan Southwyck. Southwyck was a native
of Pine Bluff, Arkansas and played fullback for the Arkansas
Razorbacks. Many thought Southwyck had a chance to play in the
pros, but after Southwyck failed three drug tests and was arrested
during a prostitution sting, he decided it would be best to come
back home and focus on rehabbing his life. It didn’t hurt that his
father, Buck Southwyck, owned most of the land, and was great
friends with local law enforcement, in Pine Bluff, so Ryan could
afford the best rehabilitation money could buy. Rehab, “God” and
sex were remedies for Ryan Southwyck to get clean. Except he didn’t
get clean.

That was twenty-five years
ago and Southwyck has had a clean record ever since, at least the
public believes that his record has been clean. Southwyck has been
known to still dabble in cocaine use and frequent prostitution hubs
along the Ozarks – his favorite sexual activity with the
prostitutes is known as pegging. Pegging is when a woman wears a
strap-on dildo and inserts the strap-on dildo inside the man’s
anus. It was anal sex between a man and a woman, but the pitcher
and catcher positions were switched for pegging. Strange hobby for
a man with supposedly
strong
Christian values.

To add to his illicit drug
use and hooker fancies, Southwyck uses his father’s power as Pine
Bluff’s main land owner to force local stores to grant him special
treatment – like eating as much food as he wants at the local
hamburger joint, receiving free medication for ailments he doesn’t
have, and not having to pay for traffic tickets, among other
things. There is certainly evidence that Southwyck has had several
dalliances with underage girls, but only chat logs of conversations
Southwyck has had with the underage girls could be
found.

Despite his transgressions,
the majority of people from Pine Bluff, and Arkansas at large,
looked past his sins and thought about how many wins he helped the
Razorbacks achieve over twenty-five years ago. They couldn’t jail a
state-wide hero!

Ryan wore an all red suit
with a white shirt. His tie, also red, was adorned with the
University of Arkansas Razorback logo. If this weren’t a red state,
he would be seen as a crazy loon with his getup. Southwyck’s
entourage wore matching red suits and sat in the closest chairs to
the stage.

To Chairman Obelis’ right
was the democratic candidate, Felicia Steenburgen. Ms. Steenburgen
was a staunch social-liberal that would be fighting an uphill
battle in a traditionally conservative state. Steenburgen was not a
horrible human being, like Southwyck, she was just merely
outmatched by Southwyck’s experience in political affairs;
Southwyck was an excellent bully and a supreme crybaby when he
wasn’t addled by coke or dope.

The Democratic Party didn’t
really feel like putting their best effort in
The Natural State
’s governorship,
opting to put forth a weak candidate. It just wasn’t in their
interest to try to win this political race, therefore not sending a
single dime or advisor to help Steenburgen.

Steenburgen was not fazed
by this predicament and wanted to put forth
her
best effort, even without the help
of her political party. Steenburgen added family and close friends
to her campaign since she couldn’t afford to hire legitimate
political advisors. Her mother was her campaign manager and her
friend, Shelly Gunderson, took the position of assistant campaign
manager. The only problem was that neither Steenburgen’s mother nor
her friend Shelly had the gall to tell Steenburgen that her plans
were too whimsical in nature and too vague even for American
politics.

“
Love and charity” were
found in every newsletter and email Steenburgen sent out, along
with a picture of her surrounded by her six cats: Mitzy, Minxy,
Meowzie, Meredith, Morbo and Cooper. It wasn’t a flattering picture
of her pale, freckly face or the poor, sickly looking cats, but her
mother and Shelly couldn’t tell her it was a bad idea. They were
weak. “Love and charity will free Arkansas from the shackles of
capitalism!” read the newsletter. “We must love Arkansas like we
love our own families!”

The idea of “love and
charity” was a noble one and a primary tenant of staunch
social-liberalism, but Arkansans have been beaten nearly to death
by a devastating economy and horrendous weather conditions – though
most Arkansans still believed climate change was mainstream
propaganda. “Climate change is scientific hooey!” they would say.
Still, Arkansans wanted more than social change.