Beast Machine (27 page)

That obviously wasn’t what
inspired the Bella Vistans to hurl items at Chairman Obelis, but
Jeffrey decided to run with it considering the media had run with
it first. “It’ll be easier to steer this narrative than trying to
correct what actually happened,” thought Jeffrey.

“
Chairman Obelis had
accidently insulted the University of Arkansas football team!”
Jeffrey said into his telephone. “He said something along the lines
of, ‘The Razorbacks are to football as chihuahuas are to dogs.’”
Jeffrey paused to listen in. “Yes, yes, it clearly angered the
folks in that gymnasium as they take great pride in their football
team.” A ten second pause took place. “No, thank you, Ms.
Santana!
Pig sooie
to you too! We hope your grandson makes the honor roll too!
Have a wonderful day and remember to vote for Chairman Obelis this
fall. Goodbye.” Jeffrey hung up the telephone and rubbed his
temples. A deep sigh was let out from the skinny assistant. His
eyes had dark circles under them.

“
That’s at
least
the fortieth person
that has said
pig sooie
to me and it’s fucking annoying,” continued Jeffrey. “I’ve
always considered athletics stupid, but their chants and traditions
are deeply stupider. At least in athletics you are exercising and
showcasing your talents, with the chants and traditions you’re just
being an annoying twat that doesn’t do jackshit. Team spirit my
ass.” He fanned himself with a newspaper with the headline
of
OBELIS FORCES BELLA VISTA TO THROW
DEBATE
.

“
So we’re going with this
stupid football excuse,” complained McCarthy. He removed his
handkerchief from his back pocket then sneezed four old-man sneezes
into it. Colorless slime eschewed from his nose. “Jesus, Mary and
Joseph, people will believe anything nowadays. But, why does it
fucking matter anyhow? We’re going to be using that damn Carter
implant thingie-ma-jig.” His body held up surprisingly well for an
alcoholic and all-around unfit human being that had been stuck in a
comatose state for decades. He walked with a limp at times and had
droopy skin folds, but was healthier than most geriatrics. He
wasn’t incontinent, to the delight of everyone around
him.

“
Carda Implant,”
interrupted Chairman Obelis as he sipped on a weak scotch in a
slightly warped steel cup with the name
Jozy
etched into the cup. Liquor was
not often a drink of choice for Chairman Obelis, but the stress
from the last debate was getting to him. He didn’t smoke, deal in
flesh or partake in prescription pills, so he found refuge
elsewhere.

“
Whatever,” said McCarthy
in a gruff tone. The old man had been given a choice in what
clothes he would like to wear and McCarthy opted for a blue
Hawaiian shirt and long brown khakis. McCarthy looked like the
typical, old, white American man on vacation, or just lounging
around during the summer. Jeffrey opposed this look because Jeffrey
wanted everyone to look fashionable even when doing non-fashionable
jobs, but McCarthy’s rebuttal to Jeffrey included a long, viscous
burst of methane and a loogie spat on the ground
.

“
Why does it matter what he
says? No one answered that question!” He sneezed a few more times,
without the use of his handkerchief. The slime from his nostrils
oozed down his face. McCarthy used his new blue Hawaiian shirt to
wipe the slime off his face. It was an effortless
action.

Jeffrey squeezed his face
as small as he could after witnessing McCarthy’s latest disgusting
act. His throat swelled with bile and he nearly vomited.

After regaining his
composure, Jeffrey said, “Because we still need other Americans,
and eventually other humans in other countries, to buy into what
we’re saying if Chairman Obelis wants to become president! Just
because we can infiltrate a lowly state like Arkansas with a
bioengineering tactic doesn’t mean we can always use that tactic.
The Carda Implants can only be doled out so quickly and only Silva
knows how to implement them. For now.”

Chairman Obelis snapped his
fingers, “That’s what needs to be done to quicken the process!” He
took a large gulp of his drink.

“What?” asked Jeffrey.
“What do you mean?”

Thinking out loud, Chairman
Obelis said, “Silva needs to either teach doctors how to do the
procedure, which is out of the question because only so many
doctors can keep their mouths shut. Or the Carda implant can be
marketed as something entirely different and sold as a sought after
procedure.”

“
How?” asked Jeffrey
curiously. Jeffrey genuinely wanted to know what his mentor, and
hopefully future significant other, had planned to continue his
grand plot.

“
What the fuck are you
talking about?” said McCarthy through muffled, soggy coughs.
“There’s no fucking need to
market
some God damn product; just put it inside all
these idiot Arkansans brains, or wherever you put the thing, and
they’ll be your slaves.” Chairman Obelis cringed at the word
slaves
. “It’s your fault
for not sticking to my God damn opening statement, but no you had
to be all Mr. Bigshot for some-fucking-reason and cause a scene.
You
knew
those
people could be temperamental. Now we’re the story of the week and
month and the race for Governor of Arkansas will likely face more
scrutiny than we needed! We could have crept by silently, only
gaining the attention of Arkansas and
maybe
surrounding states, but you had
to
do your own thing
.” McCarthy twirled his finger antagonistically at Chairman
Obelis and Jeffrey; Chairman Obelis’ nose flared in annoyance. The
room fell quiet for a few moments before McCarthy’s body ended the
short silence with a vigorous fart.

McCarthy withdrew his
handkerchief and coughed loudly into it, somehow not touching the
slime left by previous sneezes. “If you stuck by my opening
statement, you could have earned their trust legitimately, albeit
not truthfully. It would have been simple, quiet and without
alerting the national media. Now they’re going to send in their
goon squads wherever you go. Fucking idiot.” He hacked loudly into
the handkerchief thrice more.

“
I thought you said
McCarthy knew you would be experimenting at Bella Vista?” asked
Jeffrey, clearly bewildered but overall unaffected by this
disclosure.

“
Ah, no,” said Chairman
Obelis, “He didn’t know. He didn’t need to know; I’m the one
running the show you petulant geezer. God damn you’re disgusting.”
Chairman Obelis stared daggers at McCarthy; he had not expected
McCarthy to be this insubordinate. “You’re only here because I will
need information about certain persons in Congress and
beyond.”

McCarthy, dismissing what
Chairman Obelis had just said, scoffed loudly, “Now it’s all over
the country on these stupid television news stations that
constantly play the same crap over and over again. Does nothing new
ever happen in this fucking country? Isn’t the country struggling
economically? Aren’t we at war with a bunch of countries? Why give
this particular race the unnecessary fucking attention?” McCarthy
tapped his temples and made notice of the news anchor on the
closest television, “She’s got wonderful jugs, though. I’d love to
suffocate between them. Hell, I’d settle for being her bike seat.”
McCarthy giggled at his immature remarks. Jeffrey rolled his
eyes.

Chairman Obelis walked over
to where McCarthy was seated. “You will do as you are told and only
offer information when it is pertinent, you got that?” McCarthy’s
eyes scrunched tightly as he focused on Chairman Obelis.

“
Fuck you,” shouted
McCarthy. Jeffrey shrieked at McCarthy. Chairman Obelis dumped his
scotch on McCarthy’s head, causing the old man to panic and become
sticky – not the good kind of sticky either – though McCarthy was
already covered in his own nose goo from earlier. McCarthy groaned
loudly and made spitting noises and feebly swatted at Chairman
Obelis to no avail.

“
That is your last warning,
Joe.” Chairman Obelis dropped the cup next to McCarthy’s chair
causing a loud
BANG
and a rolling metal sound of
clinking
and
clanking
before it hit a nearby wall.
Chairman Obelis turned on his heel with the agility of a
professional wrestler and walked calmly towards the exit of the
control room.

Jeffrey was stunned by his
boss’s unusually rash decision. Jeffrey had known Chairman Obelis
long enough to know that Chairman Obelis always made calculated
decisions, no matter the situation at hand. Every single move made
by the billionaire was supposed to be made.

Chairman Obelis had had
dinner with drug warlords in Nigeria years ago, recalled Jeffrey to
himself, and could have easily hired mercenaries to kill the
warlords. Chairman Obelis also could have poisoned the men or done
a myriad of other things to kill them, but, instead, Chairman
Obelis taught them how to be
real
leaders; how to cooperate with others, even those
of differing opinions, and how to truly settle arguments with
words, not guns or bombs. Chairman Obelis wanted these warlords to
be human to their fellow humans, a tactic that the West had never
tried with them.

Roughly a week after that
dinner, those warlords were killed by neighboring tribes because
the warlords wanted to “talk it over” while the neighboring tribes
wanted to spill the blood of the warlords after decades of
bloodshed. Was it Chairman Obelis’ plan all along to have the
tribes kill the warlords?

“
Who knows,” wondered
Jeffrey, but the neighboring tribes truly were fortunate to have
been given brand new weaponry by an unknown force before the
warlords wanted to “talk it over.”

Chairman Obelis stopped
short of the exit and spun around on his heel, again showcasing his
agility. “Joe is right, however,” sighed Chairman Obelis. McCarthy
stopped groaning and Jeffrey’s interest piqued again. Instead of
dropping his head, like most would, Chairman Obelis held his head
high when he was wrong. “It would be silly to openly market the
Carda Implant, as the FDA and other entities would want to get
their paws on it to regulate it, to copy it, to abuse it. No
administration would ever allow such a device to happen – at least
a device that is not in their control. We could mask the Carda
Implant as something else entirely, but it would still be put
through endless trials and we just do not have that sort of time to
waste. The FDA is slower than molasses.”

Chairman Obelis walked back
toward McCarthy. “Go get a towel and dry yourself off. I apologize
for acting in an obscene and childish manner.” He stood over
McCarthy, who was a large and powerful man in his youth, waiting
for the former Senator to stand up and go clean himself up.
Chairman Obelis wanted to intimidate McCarthy to show him which man
was calling the shots.

McCarthy stood up with a
glare of contempt directed at Chairman Obelis. McCarthy’s skin was
hanging off his bones and his eyes drooped lower than an elderly
man’s testicles on a hot summer day. “Yes, you did act like a
baby,” said McCarthy, causing Jeffrey to stand up. Chairman Obelis
motioned Jeffrey to sit down. “But – I forgive you, sir.” McCarthy
nodded his head in obedience and slowly scurried away as fast as an
old man could, his skin still disgustingly droopy and sticky. He,
who once powerful in his youth, was now delicate and
fat.

Chairman Obelis and Jeffrey
watched as McCarthy left the control room. Jeffrey let out an
audible guffaw at the expense of the Senator.

“
So, what’s the new plan,
Huxley?” asked Jeffrey once McCarthy was out of ear shot. Jeffrey
muted the televisions in the control room by putting both hands
near his ears and then quickly clasping them tight. The televisions
abided by Jeffrey’s command.

“
You
call me Chairman Obelis,” said Chairman Obelis. His eyes
glaring at Jeffrey for a brief moment, but the irritation quickly
abated. Jeffrey frowned. “The new plan is to get Silva to operate
on as many local doctors as possible to put the Carda Implant in
the doctors, but with a little variance added.” Chairman Obelis
bent down and picked up the cup he dropped near McCarthy,
accidently putting his rear end in perfect view of Jeffrey’s
wanting eyes.

Jeffrey bit his lip during
this moment of pure bliss. “I’d love to get inside that,” thought
Jeffrey. “His backside fits perfectly in those pants.”

Chairman Obelis stood up
and tossed the empty cup in a nearby sink.
Clink, clank, clink.

“
That little variance will
be that the doctor’s suggest adding the filter to their patients
for any ailment, at little to no cost to the patient or their
insurer. The Carda Implant will be added into their patient’s brain
stem during the nasal filter procedure, thus giving us a faster
diffusion rate through Arkansas, and possibly the surrounding
states. Not to mention the rate of lung ailments should diminish
over the years.”

“
But you just said the FDA
would look into the Carda implant and the filter once they catch
wind of it?”

“
I did, but do you think
I’m that daft?” Chairman Obelis began to slowly walk away again. He
stopped short of the exit for a second time. “Silva already had the
filter pass FDA tests – a month ago. It’s under Silva’s domain, not
mine. It’ll show up as ‘nasal filter’, I believe, on the patient’s
file and insurance.” Chairman Obelis grinned at Jeffrey before
leaving the room. “The filter is legal, but no one has to know
about the Carda implants.”