Beautiful Failure (20 page)

I nod and let him take my breath away with another kiss, trying my hardest to let him know that he can take me right here, right now, but he’s too much of a gentleman.

He speeds to his apartment with his hand tightly clasping mine, letting the soft sounds of the radio serve as the only noise between us.

The second we arrive at his place and he helps me out of the car, his lips latch onto mine and his hands are all over me.

Kissing each other with no regard for anyone who might be watching, we stumble into his apartment—nearly knocking over one of his paintings.

“Sorry,” I murmur as he presses my back against a wall, as I continue to kiss him like my life depends on it.

He doesn’t say anything in response. He slides his hands behind my back and finds the zipper of my dress, pulling it down with more grace than he’s currently using to kiss me.

“Step out of it,” he orders, briefly releasing my lips, but not stepping back.

I use my thumb to push the haltered part down my shoulder, and let the rest of the dress slowly slide down to the floor.

As his tongue meets mine again, I unbuckle his belt—gasping when my hands brush against the hardness in his pants. I hook my thumbs under his belt loops, but he grabs my hands and forces them over my head—pinning them to the wall.

He presses his mouth against my neck and tightens his grip on my wrists. “How rough am I allowed to be?”

“What?” The butterflies return to my stomach.

“
How rough
...” He moves his kisses down my chest, ripping the front latch of my bra off with his teeth. “Am I allowed to be?”

I’m speechless.

“Tell me.” He pulls my bra off and tosses it behind him. Letting my hands go, he brushes his palm against my face. “How do you want me to fuck you, Emerald?”

“Slow...” I manage.

“
Gentle
?”

I nod, knowing that I’ve never had gentle sex before. It’s always been rough, and I want to know if there’s a difference. Especially with him.

He rubs a hand across my stomach, gliding it down to my thighs and then he moves it over the front of my panties—ripping them off at the crotch.

I feel myself trembling again, like I did the night he attempted to paint me, but he grabs my shoulders and holds me still.

“I’ll be gentle...” he whispers. “But I’m not going to stop.”

I gasp and he smiles, picking me up and carrying me into the bathroom. I stand still and watch as he takes off his shirt and lets his pants fall to the floor.

I stare at him, letting my eyes move from his perfectly chiseled chest to his rock hard abs. I lower my gaze to his dick, feeling my eyes widen at how much bigger it seems now that’s it right in front of me.

I step forward to touch it, but Carter opens the shower door and pulls me inside, turning the water on warm.

As the streams falls over us, he grabs my hand and removes the hair-tie from around my wrist.

“I need you to put your hair up,” he says.

I take the band from him and pull all of my hair on top of my head, wrapping the band around it. As soon as I’m done, he tugs at it, as if he’s making sure that it won’t fall.

He gently pushes me against the wall of the shower, planting kisses all over my face. He avoids my lips—kissing me everywhere but there.

Looking into my eyes, he murmurs, “You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen...”

I nod in an attempt to say thank you and he smiles.

“That’s the second thing I noticed about you when we met.” He lowers his mouth to mine, but he doesn’t let our lips touch. “They’re even more stunning when I’m making you cum...This time I’ll get to see your face the entire time.”

I feel my knees trembling as he finally kisses me—softly, thoroughly, leaving no part of my mouth untouched.

“Lift your leg around my waist,” he whispers, but I just stand there.

His dick is currently pressed against my stomach, and I can’t think straight when he’s giving me that ‘I’m about to own you’ look.

“Emerald,” he whispers again. He shakes his head and cups my ass. “Put your leg around my waist. Now.”

I slowly lift my leg up, but before I can hook it around his waist, he grabs it and holds it still as he slides his dick into me.

“
Ahhh
...” I murmur, shutting my eyes as my body adjusts to his thickness.

He slides deeper and deeper—taking his time, and just when I think he’s completely inside of me, he slides in a little further.

“
Carter
...”

“Shhhh.” He places my leg around his waist and squeezes my ass, telling me to be still. “I’m never going to be able to stop fucking you...” He groans. “You feel too fucking good.”

“I...” My body is quivering, still adjusting to his fullness. I tilt my head back, hitting it against the wall, and he swirls his tongue around the base of my neck.

“Give me your other leg.”

My eyes widen and I look at him, saying “How?” with my eyes, and he smiles.

He bends down, the two of us still tightly connected and grabs it for me. He lifts it up and I obediently wrap it around him.

The water is still falling over us, and a light steam is beginning to fog the glass doors.

He’s simply looking into my eyes, saying so much without saying anything at all, and then he grips my hips and begins to move me up and down.

He fucks me slowly, so slowly that I feel like I’m about to lose my mind

I grab ahold of his back and dig my nails into his skin.

Burying my head into his neck, I try my best to suppress the moans that are escaping my lips.

“Em...” he whispers. “Look at me...”

For the first time, the mere mention of
that
name doesn’t make me angry. It only makes me want to be that much closer to him, makes me want him that much deeper inside of me.

“Is this what you’ve been wanting?” He kisses my neck.

“Yes...”

“Does it feel
good
?”

I moan, shutting my eyes as he starts to move in and out of me faster.

“I can’t hear you...”

“
Yes
...
Yes.
” I wrap my legs around him even tighter.

He presses me against the wall, lowering his mouth to bite my nipple, sucking it until I scream.

My legs are trembling and we’re both seconds away from letting go when I feel him grabbing my leg.

“What are you doing?” I manage, breathlessly.

“I’m about to cum...” He tries to move my leg from around his waist, but I tighten it around him.

“Go ahead.” I look into his eyes, giving him the green-light to cum inside of me. “I have it covered...”

He hesitates for a brief second. Then he drives inside of me one last time—kissing me roughly as we climax together.

I whisper his name as my body shakes all over, as he holds me tightly and whispers mine back.

I press my mouth against his chin and smile, wanting to say something, but no words come out.

When I finally stop shaking, he moves my legs from around him and sets me on the floor. Without saying a word, he grabs a towel and wipes between my legs.

He holds me underneath the falling water and takes his time, washing every inch of me. He must sense that I’m having trouble standing up on my own because he keeps one arm wrapped around my waist as he washes his own body.

Picking me up, he carries me into the bedroom.

“Hold on to the wall.” He waits for me to press my hands against it, and then he presses a towel against my skin. “Are you okay?”

I nod.

“Good.” He lays me on the bed facedown and I feel him climbing in bed next to me. 

I expect him to pull me into his arms so we can cuddle, but he suddenly moves over me and kisses his way down my spine.

“We’re not done yet...” He spreads my legs and slightly lifts my ass up.

He slides into me inch by inch, grabbing the hair at the nape of my neck and pulling it back. 

“You still want me to be gentle?” he asks.

“
Please
...” I nod, feeling the weight of his hand in my hair.

He pulls my hair again, until my head is tilted back as far as it can go, and then he begins to move.

“You’re so beautiful...” he whispers as his skin slaps against mine. “You have no idea...”

“
Ahhhh
...
Carter
...”

He lets go of my hair and grips me by my waist, telling me that I’m beautiful again. As he starts to establish a rhythm, a slow and easy one like I wanted, he groans.

“Emerald...”

My voice is locked in my throat. He’s sliding into me and hitting places that I’ve never felt before.

I bite my lip as one of his hands slips underneath me and cups my breast.

“Emerald,” he repeats and I feel another orgasm building inside of me.

“I...” I can’t last for too much longer.

“Let go...” He kisses the groove in my back and thrust into me again, forcing my insides to explode.

I collapse onto the sheets, with him still holding me—him still whispering my name.

We lie there for a while, him on top of me, until he sighs and eases out of me. Rolling over, he wraps his arms around me and stares into my eyes.

“Are you tired?”

I nod, noticing that his dick is still hard when he pulls me closer.

“I need to ask you something,” he says. “What’s your end game?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sure you don’t plan to work at The Phoenix forever. So, what’s your end game?”

“Promise not to laugh?”

“Promise.”

“Okay...” I hesitate because I’ve never told anyone my dreams before. Then again, no one has ever asked. “Every morning when I wake up, I force myself to write a couple hundred words for a new book. I’ve been doing that for
years
—stopping and starting book after book because I would send the first few chapters off and receive rejections in return. But, I think that the book I’m writing right now is
the
book, you know? I think it’s something special...I’ve already started to send off query letters to agencies in New York and at the end of the summer, I’m going to finalize my plans to move there and work for a publishing house.

“You’re going to leave me here in Alabama?” 

“I’ll invite you up to visit.” I smile. “I want to be a writer more than anything. It’s the only thing I’m good at, minus stripping.”

“You have two years left of college to complete right?”

“Technically...” I sigh. “I’d probably have to take two summer terms to make up for all the classes I failed.”

“Why don’t you want to go back?”

“I’ll
never
go back to NYU.” Saying that college’s name aloud still hurts. “And when I get to New York, I’ll be avoiding that campus and anything within a ten mile radius.”

“You could always go somewhere else.”

I shake my head. “It costs way too much money without a scholarship. I’d probably have to strip for another year or two to even make a dent in college tuition type of money.”

“You should let me read some of your writing one day.”

“No thanks.”

“
No thanks
?” He looks offended. “Why not?”

“Because it’s personal.”

“Once you publish it, it won’t be.”

I smile, knowing that he has a point. “I’ll think about it...”

“What time do you have to be at work tomorrow?”

“I’m not going. I’m texting the owner when I wake up. I’m going to put my first sick day to use.”

“Why?”

“I can’t feel my legs right now...Pretty sure it won’t be any better twelve hours from now.”

He laughs. “I need to ask you something.”

“Can I go to sleep right after I answer it?”

“Depends on how well you answer it.” He rubs his hands across my back. “Where was your last date?”

“At the lake with you.”

“That wasn’t a real date, and I meant
before
me.”

“What makes it a d
ate
?” I shrug, suddenly hurt that he doesn’t remember what I told him in the car earlier, that he doesn’t understand that there was
no one
before him. “The Prince Charming shit where the guy takes me out and acts like he actually likes me over a candlelight dinner? Where he takes me somewhere
in public
and holds me by his side because he wants everyone to know we’re together? Does it count as a date if we’re always with his friends whenever we go out? Or that the point of us going out in the first place is just to find somewhere to have sex?”

He looks into my eyes and I can tell he regrets asking me this question, but it’s too late to take it back.

“Since that day at the lake with you doesn’t count...” I use all of my strength to roll over, to prevent him from seeing the hurt in my eyes. “I’ve never been good enough for any guy to take me on a
real
date.”

I feel him pulling me into his arms, him kissing my cheek as he says he didn’t mean to offend me, but I shut my eyes. I just want to go to sleep and dream about all the moments that happened before he asked that question.

––––––––

I
n the morning, I wake up in bed alone.

I can smell waffles and bacon from the kitchen, so I slowly sit up and stretch my legs—slightly smiling at the fact that they still feel weak.

I head into the bathroom and notice a new pink toothbrush and a note on the vanity:

Emerald,

If you see this and I’m not here, it’s because I left to get something else from the store.

PS—I’ll make last night’s question up to you.

Carter

I’ve honestly forgotten all about that question, especially since we woke up in the middle of the night and had sex again—and
again
, but I’ll try to remind myself that I need to act offended if he brings it up.

After I brush my teeth, I walk into the kitchen—blushing when his eyes meet mine.

“You’re a
serial
blusher now?” He smiles and pulls out a chair at the bar for me.

“I wasn’t blushing. The smell of your food is making me nauseous.”

He kisses me on the cheek and hands me a plate of waffles. “I made double just in case you like these better than my lasagna.”