Beautiful Monster (23 page)

"I didn't order anything?"

"You're one of those actors, right?" He asked.

"Yes, but..."

"Charged to the production company then."

"Right. Uh...put it over there please," I s
aid, and he wheeled the tray in. I signed the bill, writing in a tip to make up for my cluelessness.

Lifting
the silver lid, I was greeted with a platter of fresh strawberries and hot muffins. Grinning, I dug in. I could certainly get used to this.

It turned out that breakfast became the highlight of every morning. I would arrive at rehearsal fortified by breakfast only to be screamed at by
Shannon for every move I made. It got to the point where I was second-guessing things I knew, like stage right and stage left.

I felt overwhelmed at the end of every night, my head hitting the pillow with a thud.  The professional performers had a lot more contacts and experience than anyone at school did, and I was way out of my league. I thought I knew everyone in the industry; Sarah and I read the trade papers obsessively. But here they were, discussing people I had never heard of, and rolling their eyes when I asked a question.

"For any Chorus members," Shannon stood up one day, clearing her throat and getting out attention. "There's a friend of mine who's casting for teenage looking girls at Torrid Night Club at 2pm today for a commercial. The shoot doesn't conflict with chorus rehearsal, so you're welcome to try your luck. I make no recommendations for anyone." Her eyes landed on me, and I knew she was basically telling me I had no shot. However, I also knew that I should take every opportunity I could, and so I made a mental note to see if I could sneak down there today, if Liam would let me. Today was only a lightening rehearsal anyway, one of the many as the show drew closer.  "Demo reels can be brought in as well."

I bit my lip at that. I barely knew what a demo reel was and I was fairly certain that I didn't have one. But I had to try, at the very least.

As soon as rehearsal was over, I called Liam's direct line to ask him what I should do.  But instead of his voice, his secretary answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it’s, uh ... Amy. Can I speak to Liam, please?"

"He's got student meetings all afternoon, Amy. But if you can come by..."

"No, I can't come by." It was already 1pm.

"Oh. Can I take a message then?"

"Just..." My mouth went dry, unsure of what to say. If I had been at school, this would be easy. I could just pop my head in and ask him. But now, we were a few miles apart and I felt like I needed his support. For the first time since this whole mess started, I couldn't get it. "Just tell him I'll be late for rehearsal, and if it's an issue, he can call me on my cell."

"Will do," s
he said, and I could hear her scribbling down the message. "Anything else?"

"Maybe he can call me regardless, ASAP?" I said, cursing myself for sounding so weak.

"I'll do my best, Amy," she said, and hung up, leaving me alone again.

I went up to the hotel room to get my headshot and resume and then headed back down. I could walk to the nightclub, no problem, but I still hurried. I had no idea what a commercial audition entailed.
If they handed me a script, then that was no problem, I knew how to act. But this wasn't theater, so was it different? Who was I supposed to ask for? What was I supposed to do?

I was the first one there, when I got there. Luckily, someone at the front directed me to the right room, and someone else showed me where to sign in. It asked for an agency or recommendation. Remembering
Shannon's words, I left it blank. I thought about putting down Liam's name or the Academy, but decided not to, at the last minute.  I was here on my own, after all.

Someone else came out, and handed me a script, which made me b
reathe a sigh of relief. It was a commercial for a funeral home, which left a heavy feeling in my chest. How long before I saw one of those for real?

I was escorted in after only a few minutes in the waiting room. Unlike the Gatsb
y audition, this room was small, probably used as a changing room when the club was opened. There was just one person in it, a cameraman, who nodded to me and clicked the camera on, making the red-light flash.

"Alright, take your mark," h
e said. I looked around, confused, until I saw a masking tape "x" on the floor. Thankful I figured that out, I slid over to it, rooting my feet firmly on it.

"Great. So just s
late and then I'll read for you," he said.

"Slate?" I asked, confused. He rolled his eyes.

"Name, agency contact."

"Oh...I don't have an agency."

"Just your phone number, then," he looked bored. I stuttered through the sentence and he nodded.

"Alright. Now, look at the cam
era when you say your lines and don’t move from your mark.”

             
“Don’t move?” I looked down at the spot and looked back up, confused. How was I supposed to portray character if I didn’t move?

             
“That’s right. Don’t move.”

I saw the red light click off and then on again, and I looked at the script in my hands one last time.

              “And … action.”

             
The scene itself was easy enough. I had long since learned how to cry on cue, and I made sure to use that skill. The lines flowed naturally, but I felt restricted and stiff by my lack of movement. Twice, I bobbed out of frame and had to be waved back in.  The tears that flowed down my face felt forced, and I had never been so happy to reach the end of a scene.

             
“Ok, thanks,” he said, looking right at me. I realized I was done and nodded.

“Uh…so...” I said, unsure. The cameraman rolled his eyes.

              “They’ll call you if they are interested.”

             
“Ok.” I replied. I knew I had done something wrong, and I felt my cheeks burning as I left the room. Everything about that audition had been different. I had never had a camera in my face like that before, and I had never been so restricted to one spot.

Even though I was supposed to be at rehearsal, and seeing him in less than an hour, I couldn’t help but text Liam. I had to know what I did wrong.

Are you busy? Can you call me for a quick second?
I wrote, checking it for spelling before sending it. I had barely taken 3 steps before my phone rang.

             
“Hello?” I asked, knowing it was him.

             
“I got your message,” he said, talking softly. I assumed he was already in the theater. “What’s the matter?”

             
“Nothing. I’m sorry I’m going to be late, but Shannon told me about a commercial audition, so I thought I’d go.”

             
“As you said,” he said, approvingly. “You should always take opportunities like that, especially when your schedule can be re-arranged with little inconvenience. We’re just working on some fight chorography, so you’d be sitting here doing nothing anyway.”

“Yeah” I replied, my voice sounding far off. Liam picked up on it and made a noise of concern.

“How’d it go?”

             
“Uh…the acting part went ok,” I said, as I walked down the sidewalk, falling into a rhythm. “The words poured out of my mouth. But the rest of it was weird. It was a little room with only one guy on the panel, filming, and he told me to ‘slate’, which I had no idea about, and then made me stay on this little ‘X’ the whole time, and not have freedom of character movement. Do you think it was sketchy?”

Liam laughed at that, although it was friendly.

              “That’s film and TV auditions for you, Amy. Always exactly like that. They are very different from theater, and it’s almost as if it’s a whole different world. Film and theater actors sometimes don’t translate over. But you felt ok when it came down to the actual acting part, yes?”

“Yes,” I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “I just…” I closed my eyes for a moment. “I wish that I could have talked to you beforehand. I felt like an idiot. In fact…” I took a deep breath, knowing what I was about to say was powerful. “I think talking to you before the Gatsby audition was the only thing that kept me sane.”

              There was a silence on the other end of the phone, but it felt comfortable. Now that I was talking to Liam, the panic of the audition had gone away and I felt fine. I hadn’t realized how much I needed him, and needed his advice and support, until this very moment. Yes, I could act, and that came easy, but he was right, it came down to so much more than just acting. I thought I had been ready for all this, but it was clearly going to be harder than I thought.

             
“Anytime Amy,” he said, and I could hear the noise behind him increase. “I have to go. I’ll see you soon, though?” It was more than just a confirmation, he sounded hopeful.

             
“Yes,” I said. “About 20 minutes. 30 if you are feeling generous and want to give me time to stuff my face.”

             
He chuckled at that.

             
“Make it forty. I’ll see you then.” He hung up quickly, and I put my phone into my pocket, continuing to walk down the sidewalk, and feeling more alone. The sun was shining, and the birds were chirping and I could hear children playing in a nearby park. The dark mood over me had lifted, and I felt a lot better. I had just finished one rehearsal, I had an audition and now I was headed to rehearsal for a spot I had won over hundreds of hopefuls. Life wasn’t so bad.

             
Although I didn’t want to admit it, I knew part of my mood was due to the fact that I was going to see Liam in a matter of minutes.

             
I felt that painful feeling in my chest again as I realized how little time I had left at the school. In a matter of weeks, I would be permanently moved out and in the world on my own. Gatsby would soon be on tour, and there would be no coming back to the school after that, no safe haven to look forward to. I had never gone more than two days without seeing my Dad in my entire life, and soon I would be going months. And after Gatsby, who knew? If I didn’t make it here, there were other cities, other theaters, other tours. It was a scary thought, and it didn’t seem real that my entire world was about to change.

I realized when she walked in, I’d been watching the door for her the entire time. My head had been pounding all morning, and I was exhausted from last night’s excursions. If we didn’t only have a few days of rehearsal left, I would have already called it for today. I wanted a hair of the dog, enough water to drown a horse, and a nap that took fifteen hours. Unfortunately, those things had only been possible when I was a human movie star. Now, as a vampire headmaster, I supposed people expected me to be somewhat responsible. Still, I knew I hadn’t been as involved today as I should have been.

As soon as she walked in, I felt my heart beat speed up and I couldn’t help but smile. She was here, and I could relax.

             
“Let’s take five minutes,” I called to the fight choreography on stage. The boys stopped, panting, and headed off for their water bottles. I motioned to Amy to join me back stage. “How are you?”

             
“Better now that I’m here,” she said, looking around. “No, uh … unexpected visitors?”

             
“No, nothing,” I shook my head, watching her. Her hair was pulled up, but a few strands were falling into her fresh face. She looked beautiful and young, and I knew her future held nothing but promise and hope. “Porsche and I patrolled most of the night, but nothing came up. Selene is like that. She’ll show up long enough to scare me, but she has yet to do any harm. I suspect she’s just checking in to make sure I keep my promise.”

             
“Your promise?” Amy asked, reaching into her backpack as we talked.

             
“Why she turned me,” I said, keeping my voice down. “With such a public persona, I was guaranteed to keep the secret unless I wanted to ruin my life. Supposedly, I had it all. Vampires could always find me for help, I have a truck ton of money and contacts, but I also will make sure to keep it secret unless I want to ruin my own life. I was the perfect candidate. Hell, I should have predicted it would happen to me.”

             
“Liam,” she said, compassionately and I looked down to find her holding a container. “Do you want a cookie?”

             
I laughed, nodding.

             
“Yes,” I said, taking one of her father’s secret recipe cookies. They were so loaded with chocolate it was a wonder they had any other ingredients. I had them once or twice before and they never failed to make me feel better. At the moment, however, it was Amy’s smile that was assisting in that endeavor.

             
We locked eyes for a moment, and the intensity of the gaze was so fierce it almost overwhelmed me. I tilted my head down a fraction of an inch, and she responded, arching her neck upwards. Our lips were only inches apart when we were interrupted by a string of swear words.