Beauty and the Biker (4 page)

I
put
my face in my hands, and I sob. I don’t think I’ve cried more in my life than I have in the past week. I’m not sure how I have any tears left to shed. Abe still refuses to see me. I should be thrilled that he’s going to make it, but his not wanting to see me is ripping me apart. It’s been five days, and each time he refuses to let me into the room, a little part of my heart dies.

I feel a warm hand rub circles on my back, and I know without looking who it is.

“They are sending him home today,” Mac says as she continues to rub my back. I’m thankful she’s here. She’s been with me most of my time here, just sitting outside in the hospital lobby. She even let me crash with her.

“He’s not going to let me see him, is he?” I ask, already knowing her answer. Oddly enough, she hasn’t told me I should leave, though. I think we all keep thinking that he’s going to give in and let me see him, but he hasn’t.

“Maybe it’s best you head back home. Maybe when you both get back to Kansas City, he’ll see how much of a dipshit he’s being.”

“When are you guys heading out?”

“I’m not. Well, not to Kansas City anyway. I have to report back to the Air Force. Scribe and Lucias are going back with Abe. I don’t think either have to go back out there. They all only had six months left on their contracts, and I know they planned to be done after those months were up. But with this happening and their team pretty fucked up, it’s a safe bet they’ll keep them stateside.”

“Thank you for everything,” I say, turning to look at her. I don’t know how I would have done it out here without her. Mac doesn’t say a lot, but she was a solid shoulder for me for the past few days

“No need to thank me. I’m doing what’s right, what’s right for him. He may not let you into that room, but he sure keeps asking where you are. And I’m guessing if someone didn’t have an answer, he might lose it again.”

“God, I just don’t get him right now. He’s so worried about me, but he’s causing me all kinds of pain. Doesn’t he get that?” I huff, frustration coloring my words.

“Julie, I like you, and I know my boy in that room loves you,” She nods to the doorway, her black hair brushing her shoulders. “He’s like a fucking brother to me. You have no idea what it was like to have to watch the bomb go off, and there wasn’t shit I could do about it. Fuck, I was a good thousand yards from them when it went off, and all I could do was sit and watch through the scope of my gun. I’ve never felt so powerless…” Her words trail off, but I can see the pain all over her face.

Taking a deep breath, she continues. “When you spend hours on missions with people, you learn a lot about them. I’m sure you know Abe didn’t have a great home life, that he’s been planning to make one with you, been counting down to it, and well…that literally just got blown to hell for him.”

I flinch at her reference. “But it doesn’t have to be this way—”

“I know that,” she says, cutting me off. “But he sure as shit doesn’t. These men are bull headed when they set their mind to something, and that’s just how it’s going to be.”

I know she’s right. I wanted Abe to marry me and make me his before he left, but he had something else in mind, and that was exactly what happened. He got his way.

“You telling me to walk away, Mac?” I ask around the lump in my throat.

“Yeah, I’m telling you to walk away. What you do when you walk is up to you, but I suggest you get yourself back to school. If he isn’t going to let you in, he isn’t going to let you in. Sitting outside his room isn’t doing anything but causing you both more pain. When he’s ready, he’ll come for you.”

“And if he never comes?”

“Then Abraham is gone. The man sitting in that room is no longer the man who left you six months ago, and to be honest, he might not be something you want.”

“I don’t care who’s in the room, I’ll take any piece of him I can get,” I plead with her, trying to get her to understand.

“I know you would, but that doesn’t mean he wants to give it.” She leans in closer to me. “He’ll come for you when he’s ready.”

I pray he does.

M
arch
2012

“You hear from her?”

Lucias just shrugs his shoulders without answering me, continuing to flip through the channels on the tv.

It pisses me off that Julie calls him, but I haven’t heard anything recently about her calling. I should be happy she stopped, but I can’t keep from asking.

“Just answer the fucking question,” I snap at him, frustration getting the best of me.

“No, she hasn't, not since the last time you fucking snapped when she called me. She heard you, Savage, but what the fuck does it matter anyway? You're no good for her.” He continues flipping through the channels like we aren’t talking about the most important thing in my life.

His words sting, but it’s true. I can’t get mad at him for saying it.

“And don’t start that shit either. I don’t mean because you're a little uglier now, I mean because your ass won't get off this fucking couch and get your life together. You need to talk to someone about your nightmares and these serious anger issues you got going on. Maybe even start going to all these fucking doctors’ appointments you're supposed to, and I don't know, maybe stop with all the fucking pain pills and whiskey you shove down your goddamn throat.”

He throws the remote onto the coffee table, finally looking at me.

“You’re not the only one who lost something that day. Did you lose more? Fuck yeah, you did, but this person sitting on the couch next to me, I do not fucking know. It blows my mind you’d do this to that girl. You’re going to kick yourself in the ass for this one day. And have you forgotten your brothers need you? I need you. There’s so much shit going on around here with my father’s club, and I need you at my back. But you're just going to abandon us like this after everything? Are you still lying out there in that desert? I’m pretty sure I remember dragging your ass out of there, but from the looks of it, I’m not sure who the hell came back from that place.”

“I’m no good for her.” It’s all I can bring myself to say because I know he’s right.

“At this moment in time I’m inclined to agree with you, but you could be good enough for her if you tried. You haven't fought even a little for her, so you’re right; you’re no good for her.”

His words burn and drive me to pick up the pill bottle next to me. They’re for the pain, but I don't think the doc realizes I’m not using them for the external pain anymore. They numb me and help me forget all I’ve lost.

“I love her so goddamn much, Lucias, I just want what’s best for her.”

“Then be what’s best for her.”

Popping the top of the bottle, I look down at the pills. I stare at them for a second and put the lid back on. I throw the bottle over to Lucias, and he snatches it with one hand.

“Get me the cards the doctor gave me, I’ll make some calls.”

I have to at least try. For her.

M
ay
2012

“Push, push, push, push!” the trainer screams at me, making my head pound. Dropping the weighted bar, I let out a string of curses. I’ve been at this for fucking months, and I don’t even feel close to having my strength back.

“You’re doing it all wrong,” Lucias says, strolling into the gym. “Watch and learn, I’ll teach you how you control a savage.” He smirks, thinking he’s being clever. The name has really started to stick, it seems.

“Get back under there; I’ll get you to lift it.” He nods for me to lie back on the bench.

Lying down, I grip the bar, trying to push it up. It comes off an inch, but I can’t seem to get it to move any more.

“I saw your shortcake today. I think she was on a date with some preppy-looking guy. What’s with all these stupid fucks popping their collars? Don’t they know they look like dipshits?”

Anger rushes through my body at Lucias’s words.

“See? Told you.”

It’s then I realize I have the bar fully extended out.

“Do I get a cut of your pay or something? Or does the insurance company just pay me direct for doing your job?” Lucias asks the trainer with a smirk on his face, one I’m about to remove with my foot.

I drop the bar back down and go to make a grab for him, but he sidesteps me.

“I was just fucking around, Savage. I didn’t see your girl.”

I give him a hard look, but I feel a smile hit the side of my mouth.

“One step closer,” he says, and I nod at him in agreement.

J
une
2012

“The nightmares are easing off, but I’m still having about one a week,” I tell the doc, trying to get her to understand. I don’t care that I’m having less, I need to be having none.

“Abraham,” she says, putting her pad down on her desk. “We have come so far, you’ve gone from having them every night to having them once a week. That’s a huge improvement in such a short period, but you’ve got to give it more time.”

She’s been saying this for weeks, but it feels like it’s been months. Each day I’m away from Julie feels like an eternity. I have to get this a hundred percent under control before I go for her. When I have the nightmares, I lose control.

“You need to give yourself more credit. You’ve made significant progress, and with your positive attitude and hard work, I have no doubt you’ll make a full recovery. Just don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes you’ll have setbacks, but that doesn’t mean you’ll go back to square one. We’ll keep working at this until you’re healthy.”

“How much longer, doc?”

“Only time will tell, Abraham.”

A
ugust
2012

“You’ve really made a miracle recovery. All your burns have healed nicely, with no infections, and your strength has come back a lot quicker than we thought it would,” Dr. Fields says as he flips through my file. Easy for him to say, the scars don’t look like they’ve healed so nicely to me, but that’s really neither here nor there right now.

“No, I’m not. I still can't fucking get it up.”

The doctor's eyebrows rise as he looks over the top of his glasses at me. “That’s not uncommon considering all the medication you’ve been on and the trauma your body has gone through. I could give you something for now, if you like, but you're young, I’m sure it will come back to you,” he offers, but I don’t want any more meds.

I just shake my head. I’m not ready to see her yet so it doesn't matter that my cock can’t get hard right now anyway.

“Give it a little more time,” he says, closing the file. “Keep working with the physical therapist and using the lotions I prescribed you. Other than that, you’re as healthy as can be. All you’re hard work has paid off.”

N
ot yet
, I think to myself
. Almost there
.

S
eptember
2012

Today marks three months exactly since my last nightmare. I told myself if I could go that long without one, then I could have her. I know it was shitty the way I left things, but I knew I needed to get my head straight before I tried to make things right. I owe her everything, and she deserves someone who’s able to give her that. I didn’t want to half-ass it with all we’ve been through already.

I hop on my motorcycle and head to Julie’s parents’ house. I heard from Mac that Julie’s been staying with them this semester to save money at school, and it breaks my heart. We should have been married by now, but my fucked-up head kept that from happening. I feel the wind blow on my face as I near the house, and I make a silent vow to her and to us that I’ll make it right.

I won her over once, and I can do it again. I have to. I’ve been to every shrink I could get my hands on, and talked until my lips went numb. I’ve been through so many doctors and physical therapists I could probably get a medical degree by now. I’ve done all I can do to myself to become the healthiest man I can be for her, and I’m ready to pick up where we left off. I just pray she’ll forgive me.

My dick still doesn’t work, but most of my doctors reassure me that one day it might. I hate that I can’t give that to Julie, but I’ll give her everything I can to make sure she’s satisfied. I don’t care if I have to eat her pussy thirty-two times a day, she’ll never want for anything sexually. My love for her goes beyond the physical, and I need her. I don’t care how it has to be. I have to have her.

I drive around the bend, and see her parents in the front yard doing some gardening. I pull up in the driveway and get off my chopper to go see if she’s home. I’m nervous about what her parents are going to say to me, but whatever it is, I’ll take it. She’s worth it all and then some. I’ll take any licking I have coming my way.

Her mom approaches me, with her dad close on her heels. She’s a tiny little thing just like Julie, and her white blonde hair hangs in ringlets too. They’re nearly identical in looks. And attitude. Julie’s dad is tall and well-built for an older guy. What I find most intimidating about him are his eyes. Julie’s eyes are the same, and I know they have the ability to see right through me.

I stand there and watch them walk towards me, bracing for the anger and the hatred. When her mom’s within arm’s reach, I tense, but then suddenly I’m engulfed in a hug. It’s warm and wonderful, and I can’t help but hug her back, reveling in the comfort and affection.

“She’s in the kitchen,” she whispers into my ear, and she turns to go back to her flowers without another word.

Julie’s dad gives me a firm handshake and solid eye contact, telling me without words not to fuck this up. I nod back at him, and that’s all the confirmation he needs. In a matter of seconds they’ve gone back to their work, and given me their blessing to make things right with my girl.

I feel a bounce in my step as I go through the front door and make my way to the kitchen. It’s one more obstacle down to getting Julie back in my life.

I was here quite a few times before I shipped out, her parents always welcoming me to their home. Despite our age difference, and how fast we moved, they seemed to see something in us that reminded them of their relationship.

I round the corner and see her sitting at the table, books and papers spread out all around her. At the first sight of her beauty, my knees go weak, and I fall on them in the middle of the kitchen. It’s where I need to be anyway, groveling on them for her.

“Abe!”

Julie says my name as an expletive and an accusation. She jumps up from her seat and glares at me. It’s safe to say she isn’t happy to see me.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Get out.” She spits the words at me, but I can see her eyes. They can’t lie to me. I see the sadness and the need there, because they match my own.

I’m on my knees, and I spread my arms wide, baring my soul to her. Showing her physically how exposed I am, and that I’m willing to sacrifice everything for her.

“Julie.”

She starts to speak but I don’t let her.

“I never meant to hurt you, and I’m sorry I pushed you away. You were, and you are, the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I was so afraid. I was scared that you wouldn’t love me if I wasn’t whole, so I pushed first. I was having such a hard time figuring out what happened, and trying to keep you safe, that I lost my mind a little. I know I’m all scarred-up now, and I’m not the same on the inside either, but one thing has never changed. My love for you hasn’t gone away, and I know now that I’m okay. I got help and I got better, and I’m here, begging you to take me back.”

“No.”

She says the word, but I can see the way she’s moving from foot to foot. She’s fighting the pull between us. I can see the way she bites her bottom lip as she fights the urge to say what she really wants. I can see how her eyes beg me to hold her.

“Please,” I whisper, letting all the love I have flow through that one word.

“You broke my heart, Abe. I can’t just forgive that. You pushed me away. You wouldn’t let me see you when you needed me the most. What the fuck? You were the love of my life. How was I supposed to just forget that.”

“Did you forget it?”

“No.”

The tears run down her cheeks at the admission, and I can’t stand not going to her and holding her, but this has to be her decision. If she makes the choice to be mine, I’m not letting her get away.

“Julie, my love, please. I fought to get back to this place, and I’ll keep fighting until I have you. Take me back. Marry me. Be mine again and I’ll give you everything. We can do it all, baby. Have a house, babies, grow old together. Please, shortcake. Choose us,” I beg, knowing that I’ll sleep in her front yard every night until she finally gives in.

She laughs a little through tears when I say her nickname. “You show up after all this time and expect me to just fall into your arms after you call me ‘shortcake’?”

“Yes,” I say, giving her a half-smile.

“You’re a cocky bastard, I’ll give you that,” she says, reminding me of the first day we met, how she called me that then too, right before—

Suddenly, she runs to me, knocking me down on the floor as I engulf her in my big arms. She wraps her arms and legs around me, and I grab her face, pressing my lips to hers. Our lips and tongues connect, and it’s as if it’s our first kiss all over again. It’s all-consuming and like nothing I’ve ever felt. She’s my other half, and as our lips touch, my world clicks back into place.

“
Thank God!
” I shout, pulling back from her lips.

“What? Did you expect me to put up more of a fight?”

“Well, actually, yes. But also, my dick is hard as a rock right now, so today is officially the greatest day of my life. Let’s get married right now so I can go ahead and make it even better.”

“You’re crazy, you know that?”

“Crazy about you, shortcake. Now tell me you love me.”

“I love you more than bacon.”

L
ater that night

“I can’t believe we did it,” she says, playing with my dog tags that she’s wearing around her neck. They mean more than she knows, but I’ll tell her more about the club later.

“You better believe it, Mrs. Tanner. I do love a good Vegas wedding.”

“I thought for sure my parents would make us wait, but I guess they know what true love is like.”

“It’s pretty damn great, isn’t it, Mrs. Tanner?”

“You’re going to keep calling me that, aren’t you?” she asks, a giant smile lighting up her face. She likes it when I call her that.

“Fuck yeah. You’re mine now, shortcake. This is for life, and it’s about damn time too.”

She giggles, and I lean down to kiss her lips. As soon as she gave me the green light, I scooped her up and we hopped on the first plane out of Kansas City to Vegas. We got a quickie wedding—performed by Elvis—and now we’re in a suite at the Bellagio.

Julie pulls away, and I try to hold her tighter to me, not wanting to let her go.

“Easy, Abe. I just want to go change. I didn’t stop to get something to wear for the wedding night for nothing. I want this night to be perfect.”

“It already is. But if you want to have whatever you bought ripped to shreds, then by all means go change. But I’m giving you exactly seven seconds before I’m taking that door down and coming in after you.”

“Yes, sir,” she says with a mock salute. I don’t have the heart to tell her how awful that salute was, or that I like her calling me ‘sir’. I’ll save that one for another night.

As I watch her walk away, I take off all my clothes, wondering what she’ll think about the scars, how different I look now, but I push that thought aside. We’re past that. Julie doesn't care what I look like. I get into bed. I’m trying to be patient and give her the time she needs, even though I’m dying to feel her against me.

After what feels like an eternity, the bathroom door opens a crack, and she peeks out, hiding behind the door.

“I’m nervous. I don’t know why because you’ve seen me already, but this feels different.”

“It’s our wedding night, baby. It’s a big fucking deal.”

She laughs, and I hear her take a deep breath as if to steady her nerves. Finally, the door opens and she steps out. Suddenly, all the blood in my body goes to my dick, and I forget how to speak. It’s strange, finally being able to get hard after so long, but it seems all my body needed was her. It’s all it seemed to crave.

She walks slowly over to the bed, and I haven’t so much as breathed since she emerged from the bathroom. She stands at the end of the bed, looking like a pure angel, and I can’t find my tongue. She’s dressed simply in white lace, but seeing her like this, a virgin on our wedding night, it does something to the beast inside me.

A dark blush blossoms on her cheeks and chest, and I can tell she’s really shy right now. It shouldn’t make me harder but, fuck, it does.

“Abe?”

She whispers my name so quietly I almost don’t hear it.

“Perfect.” It’s all I can get out as I sit up and grab her, pulling her onto the bed. I roll us so she’s under me, my big body blanketing hers. She’s so tiny, but we’ll fit together. We have to. The white lace rubs between us, so I pull the cups down to expose her nipples, rubbing them on my chest. “So fucking perfect.”

“I’ve waited so long for you, Abe. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Julie. With all my heart.”

I lean down, kissing her, her body wrapping around mine. My hard cock presses against her opening, and I can feel how hot and wet she is. We’ve been on edge all day to seal the deal, so I’m skipping the foreplay for now. I need to get inside her and have our bodies connected like they’re meant to be. I need to have her in every way possible to know that she’s truly mine.

I move my hips so the tip of my cock pushes against her entrance. I look into her eyes, and she gives me a small nod, letting me know that she’s ready. When I push in and break her hymen, she lets out a little grunt. My girl is tough and fighting through the pain, not letting me know how much it hurts.

She’s so incredibly tight I have to focus on my breathing as well. She squeezes me so hard, and feeling her, skin on skin, is heaven. I’ve never ridden bareback, but with her, it’s the only way we’ll ever be. I don’t care how many times I get her pregnant, I want nothing between us.

I lean down and kiss her neck, letting her relax a little, waiting for the pain to subside some. “I’m almost all the way in, baby. Just breathe, and I’ll push in the rest of the way.”

“Jesus Christ, are you shitting me, Abe? There’s
more
of you?”

I smile against her neck and keep kissing her, waiting on her to relax. “I guess you never got a good look at it before, but I’m big everywhere, Mrs. Tanner.”

“That monster is never going in my ass. Do you hear me? That’s a deal breaker.”

“All in good time, baby.”

I push the rest of the way in, and this time she lets out the shout of shock I knew she was holding back.

“Fuck!”

“In a second, my love. Let’s get you used to him first.”

“You know damn well what I meant, Abe. Jesus. Having babies won’t be a problem after you’ve fucked me a few times with that thing.”

If she doesn't stop talking about me getting her knocked up, I’m going to cum before this even gets started. I pepper her neck and chest with kisses, leaning down to lick her nipples. I suck one at a time into my mouth. I push her big tits together, so her nipples are touching and suck them both at the same time. That’s what it takes to get her to throw her head back in pleasure and start to move on my cock. Her hips make small movements at first, but after a few minutes of sucking her, she’s thrusting up, trying to take me deeper.

“You want me to fuck you now, shortcake?”

“Yes,” she murmurs as she closes her eyes, lost in pleasure. I’m ready to give her anything she asks for, pulling out and pushing back in. She’s so hot and tight, her little pussy sucking me into her small body.

She’s the best—and the last—I’ll ever have. From the moment I first saw her I knew there would never be another in my life, no matter if we were together or not. What would be the point? Once you’ve had a taste of perfection, nothing will ever compare.

“Oh God, Abe! I’m close. Play with my clit.”

My girl has never been shy about asking for what she wants. Like always, I give her what she asks for, and I reach between our bodies to strum her clit.

“Goddamn,” I grunt, feeling her pussy tighten on me even more. “I can’t last much longer, baby.”

As I say the words, she comes undone, shouting her release, and wetting my dick with her pleasure. I can feel her honey coating my cock. The culmination of all these things—the sounds, the feeling, everything—sends me over the edge. I push into her as far as I can go and I cum inside her. Her unprotected body opens up for my seed as I shoot my cum inside her, filling her with me.

I cum and cum until I can barely hold myself up any more. I don’t want to crush her, so I prop myself up on my elbows as I finish. There’s so much cum, it runs down the sides of her pussy and onto the bed. Our juices are everywhere, mixed together, coating her thighs. It’s a wonderful feeling, having an orgasm, but having the best orgasm of your life? Priceless.