Because I Love You (4 page)

Raising his hand to knock, Tristan startled when she opened the door before he had a chance. Based on how she was dressed, they were not going out to dinner.

“Would you care to fill me in?” He proceeded carefully, because the woman standing in front of him bore no resemblance to the gorgeous redhead he bedded forty-eight hours before. If he were honest, she looked bonkers. Nothing matched;
her flannel pants clashed with the T-shirt, and her hair was pulled on top of her head in an off-kilter knot. He'd seen Leah without a full face of makeup, but tonight wasn't about a natural look. Her swollen, puffy eyes told him she'd been crying.

“I'm so sorry. I didn't answer the text you sent, Amy did. She thought the fancier restaurant sounded nice, so when you sent the message, she answered. I'm sorry. That's so adolescent. I feel awful.”

“I have to thank your sister for not giving you the chance to say no, but if you really didn't want to see me, you could have let me know.” He closed the door and stepped into her place. “Or if something had upset you, you could have called.”

He'd never been inside her space. All these months and they'd always met out at some bar or eatery. But somehow, he knew what to expect. The flat was stylish without being predictable. Pops of color punctuated neutral tones. But it was warmth that permeated the whole space. Photos of her family dotted the shelves, the furniture looked comfortable and well used. There was a bookshelf filled with popular fiction, mostly mysteries from what he could tell. He learned a lot about Leah from her flat. Like most people, her home was a reflection of her.

And right now that person was a woman having some kind of breakdown. The sofa held a mussed – up blanket and a box of tissues, and a pizza box sat on the coffee table. Obviously, their dinner date was definitely off. Leah stood before him, looking very young and more fragile than he could have imagined. This woman was a puzzle and it seemed each moment he spent with her he managed to fit a few more pieces into place.

“You look very handsome,” she said on a shaky breath.

Tristan glanced at what he was wearing. He'd come straight from his meeting, so he was still in his dark gray suit. His uniform. He had to admit, he found himself mildly flattered she noticed even though she was upset. But that simple statement, the compliment, told him once again that there was a very sweet woman living under all that bluster.

“Thank you,” he began. “You, however, don't look like yourself. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?”

She sniffled and blew her nose. “I guess I'm just a big baby. I try to be tough, but I'm really not.” She plopped down on the sofa and pulled the blanket to her chin. “Don't you dare repeat that, or I'll have to kill you or something.”

“Noted. Why are you so sad?” Tris crouched down in front of her and brushed a tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Is it your job? Is there someone I need to pummel?”

She laughed through the leaking tears. “No. Would you really beat someone up for me?”

“If I needed to. Yes.”

“That's sweet. Thank you.” Her hand dropped down to his, gripping the fingers of the hand that was resting on the couch beside her.

No one had ever called him sweet. Probably because he never usually thought about anyone but himself.

“No, this one hit closer to home.” Blinking hard, Leah tried to pull herself together. “My sister accepted a new position, and she's going to be relocating.”

“Oh. That's . . .” He knew the sisters were close, but Leah's reaction seemed extreme. There had to be more to the upset than a simple relocation. “Where's she going?”

“Scotland.”

Alright, so going to Scotland wasn't just like boarding a plane and jetting off to Chicago for a weekend, but it wasn't impossible to stay in touch now with smartphones and the Internet. “Wow. That must be some position.”

“It is, and it's something she's been working hard for. Amy went to architecture school knowing she wanted to restore old buildings. She did an internship with the National Trust in the UK and fell in love. I should have expected it, but I guess with everything that's been going on, with my mother, and Nate and Jenna and their baby, I didn't want to entertain the possibility.”

Tristan didn't want to upset Leah any more, but he thought Amy's job sounded pretty amazing. “Explain to me why this upset you so much. It will help if you get it off your chest.”

He should have run the second she answered the door. But instead of her tears repelling him, they compelled him to stay with her and offer comfort. He didn't deal with crying women. He didn't do drama, especially the family kind. But there he was, mopping her face with Kleenex, holding her hand, and giving her a shoulder to cry on.

The woman had him tied in bloody knots.

“We see each other a lot. Talk multiple times a day. She's my best friend. I didn't expect her to think that”—she took a long breath—‟that it would be ‘good' for us to be apart. That I was too dependent on her.”

She sniffled again, dabbed at her eyes.

“I'm going to risk getting a smack here, but are you? Dependent?”

“No more than she is. It's a lovely codependency.” She flashed a watery smile. “Are you close to your siblings?”

“My older brothers are always on deployment, so my contact with them is pretty sporadic, but we chat when we can. My younger brother is wrapped up in his research. He's a neuroscientist at Cambridge. I think he'd like me better if he could just examine my brain.” Leah laughed, and that was a welcome sound. “I do speak to my sister pretty regularly. I quite adore her.”

“That's nice.” She paused, took a breath, still upset. “What she said . . . it really hurt.”

He moved into the space next to her and reached his arm across the back of the couch. Leah immediately leaned into him, startling him at first, but then, as her warmth seeped into him, Tris relaxed into the feeling. He didn't know what to say, so he pulled her closer and dropped a kiss on top of her head. Words like that had to sting.

“I'm oversensitive. I know that. I hide the fact that I cry at the drop of a hat from pretty much everyone outside of the family. And I don't even think my family realizes sometimes.”

He kissed her temple this time. “I'm honored to have seen the meltdown, then.”

“You should be,” she giggled. “Not just anyone gets to see this mess.”

They lapsed into a relaxed silence and Tris realized Leah was tougher than she thought, but that didn't negate how she was feeling. “I'm sorry you're upset, though.”

“Thank you,” she said, wrapping her arms around his middle. “You have no idea how much it means to me that you
didn't start blathering on about how I should fix it. Or how I should feel about it.”

“I wouldn't know how, but I can loan you a shoulder. Is that the saying?”

“Yes, and I'll take the shoulder.”

There was something incredibly soft and lovely about Leah at that moment. The vulnerability, the depth of feeling she had for her family, came straight from her heart. He could only imagine what she might give in a relationship, and he wondered if he had it in him to be on the receiving end of something that could be so life changing.

Here he was, holding a woman who was, for lack of a better word, distraught. Her sister had dropped the bombshell regarding her move, Leah still felt at odds with her family, but once again, the trust she was putting in him was humbling.

“How was the pizza?” he asked, nodding toward the box.

“Lousy,” she said. “I didn't think it was possible to get a bad slice of pizza in New York, but apparently it is.”

“Would you like to get cleaned up, throw on a pair of jeans, and hit up the diner around the corner?”

Leah's eyes lit up. “I could really go for a burger and onion rings.”

“And a milk shake,” he added.

“A chocolate milk shake.”

“You're on.”

*  *  *

Leah settled back against the vinyl seat and patted her belly. She was stuffed from eating every bite of her burger and onion rings at their favorite diner, but Tristan had just ordered a brownie sundae to finish off his meal. The man was lean and muscular, but he ate like a fifteen-year-old boy. Leah would have to do extra time on the elliptical so she didn't burst out of all her work clothes.

“Thanks for understanding about dinner,” she said quietly. “This was exactly what I needed.”

“I'm sorry for blindsiding you; I had in my head after the other day, we should, I don't know . . .”

“Go on a date?” Her eyes met his. “Because that's what it was.”

He blew out a long breath. “Not my best idea?”

She chuckled. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't think we should date, and like I said on Sunday, I don't think friends with benefits is a good idea, either. The other night was really great, amazing, but . . .”

“Too complicated. I understand.” He seemed to follow. Of course Leah could be misreading the situation.

“It really is. You work with my brother. I have a lousy track record with relationships, and I'm . . .” She took a breath because the next part was hard to admit. “I'm very possessive about our friendship. I don't trust people easily, so I don't have a lot of friends, and I don't want anything to mess up a good thing.”

His brows drew together and he looked her straight in the eyes. Great. She'd offended him.

“Okay, first, you know sex can be just sex. It doesn't have to have a deeper meaning attached to it. We can stay friends.”

“I guess I'm unsophisticated like that. I don't see it that way.”

“An old-fashioned girl.” He grinned when he said it.

“I'm not judging. People can do what they want if it doesn't hurt anyone else, but I'm speaking for myself. I guess I
am
a little old-fashioned.”

Tristan reached out and laced his fingers with hers. His thumb made lazy passes over her knuckles and immediately the warmth pooled in her belly. He smiled his sweetest smile.

“I won't say I'm not disappointed. We're great together in bed, but I respect your feelings on the matter, and I won't risk our friendship over a tumble in the sack.”

Leah appreciated his words more than she could express because at that moment, his gentle touch was causing a slow meltdown in her system. “Thank you.”

“Come on,” he stood, tugging her to her feet. “Let me walk you.”

“It's only a couple of blocks, you don't need to do that.”

“I beg to differ, love. Gentleman, remember. My mum would never forgive me if I didn't see you safely home.”

There were a thousand things wrong with him escorting her to her door, but damned if she could think of even one of them at the moment. Without question he was a gentleman, and she had to admit, it was charming. He was charming.

And Leah was in big trouble.

Tristan was still coming to work in a suit every day, and his assistant was starting to tease him for it. A lovely woman named Robyn, she reminded him that if he didn't loosen up he'd end up like one of his new business partners, Owen Kent. Apparently, the man was wound tighter than a watch spring. It was a good thing he was brilliant and forward thinking or Tris would have been on a plane to London and working long distance.

The former Marine officer was nothing if not challenging.

He'd learned quite a bit about the corporate culture of Reliance and was excited to jump into something so new. He knew managing the day-to-day finances of the company wasn't going to be an issue, but adjusting to a new business model, new sales force, products, was going to require some time. He was also immersed in preparing for the upcoming IPO, and that was its own special horror because the regulators from the SEC were constantly finding fault with whatever proposal his team put forward.

He'd get around it, but in the meantime, he felt like he was stepping on one regulatory land mine after another. Nate, whose place he was taking, was an immeasurable help as he navigated the company, so he could focus on getting them public.

Nate would probably hang him off one of his horses and send the beast running if he found out Tris had slept with his sister, and that he'd love to do so again.

He wouldn't lie and say he wasn't hoping for a different outcome when he took her out the other night, but spending time talking and getting to know each other better had proven to be a good time. Since July, they'd been meeting for drinks or dinner at least once a week. But he'd discovered there was still a lot he didn't know about Leah.

He couldn't figure out why she was so insecure. Even she acknowledged that it made no sense. Her parents were lovely, she and her siblings had good relationships, but if she felt threatened, or thought her family was threatened, she flew right off the handle.

Amy was Leah's barometer, often letting her know when her temper was getting the better of her. Tris had seen the sisters together, more than once, and he didn't know if he agreed with the way Leah had been pigeonholed. Personally, he found her straightforward and refreshing. Amy seemed much more calculating.

And now Amy was not only moving an ocean away, she was looking forward to being on her own. Not very kind of her to say, in his opinion.

Maybe he'd stop by Leah's place later and check on her. She could probably use a friend.

Such a bloody lie. He wanted her. Just thinking about her and he stiffened in response. He wasn't supposed to react this way.

Tris and Leah might have been keeping this casual, but there was no reason they couldn't be casual three or four times
a week. He hadn't been able to get the woman out of his head since she'd left his apartment a little more than a week before. Now they were sharing and confiding . . . being real friends.

God, the way she laughed the other night over burgers and milk shakes—he could still hear it. Full and throaty, it was joy, pure joy when she let loose and enjoyed herself. They'd talked at the diner into the small hours of the night and Tristan had to admit staring at Leah for several hours while she told him about her family was no hardship.

She was a beauty, but most certainly an unconventional one. A solid seven or eight inches shorter than he was, Leah was all curves—gorgeous, delicious curves—in one brilliant package. When he'd first met her, she was raising hell at the family barbecue, pissing off pretty much everyone with whom she spoke, and good Lord, was he attracted to her. She was snarky, smart, difficult, and protective of those she loved. Her red hair and flashing green eyes made her look like an angry wood sprite, straight from Celtic folklore, ready to spew sparks and magic.

He wanted her from the first moment. Hell-raising and all.

However, as he got to know her, and spent more time with her, it was easy to see that there was much more to Leah than her protective outbursts. The woman may have perfected the tough litigator act on the surface, but on the inside she was soft and sweet. She'd pretty much told him as much the other night. He could tell by the way she talked about her family, especially her mum, that she was anything but hard and cold. Driven by strong emotions, this was a woman who didn't take anyone or anything lightly. But something was scaring her, holding her back, and it was a shame to see that kind of passion bottled up.

It was the passion he saw unleashed in bed, but there was also a strong need to connect with someone. She wanted to be touched, kissed, talked to. Leah said no to a serious relationship, but he was fairly sure that was her head, not her heart, talking.

So much for keeping his heart out of the equation. Tristan had to admit, he liked Leah. A lot. And if she'd give him a chance, he'd try to make a go of something with her. After her attempt to sneak out of his place the one night they'd been together, he'd gotten her to come back to bed, and after making love once more, they slept. It was rather sweet the way she curled her naked body against his, seeking warmth, and refuge. And if Tris admitted it, the way she trusted him, the way she put herself into his hands, was intoxicating.

Rising from his desk, the view from his office window was one more reminder of Leah. The entire north side of the Reliance compound was constructed with large windows facing the waters of Long Island Sound. The great expanse of water was rough today, choppy, with a cold gray-green hue. What he found remarkable was how it changed—one moment being smooth as glass, other times more turbulent.

“You look like you're a million miles away.”

Turning, he saw Nate had entered the office. A month ago, Tristan and Nate had switched spaces since Nate was starting to ease his way out of the company. One of the founding partners, he was perfectly happy to let Tristan take over the large, imposing office.

“Just watching the boats, mate. I didn't expect to see you today. I thought Jenna had a doctor's appointment.”

“She does, but not until later.” Nate put a file on the round table in the corner of the room, looking like a man who had something to say, but who wasn't quite sure how to say it. Watching him, Tris wondered what was on his friend's mind.

He and Nate had bonded over horses and polo not long after he arrived to work at Reliance. Nate's team needed an experienced Number One player and Tristan fit the bill. He took over the lease on some wonderful polo ponies, and jumped right back into being part of a team again. The riding, the competition, was exactly what he needed. He went out to Nate's farm from time to time to ride a trail or do a course or two, but with his new role, he was finding that time was less and less. If Nate's first love was horses, he could understand why he wanted to make a change, especially with a baby on the way.

“What's going on with you and my sister?”

Bollocks. Tris allowed himself a second to process the question. This could go either way. Nate was no grandstander, nor was he a bully, but this was his younger sister, and Tris was still the outsider. If he wasn't careful, his entire relationship with Reliance could go all to hell.

“What do you want to know? I don't know Amy that well, so I assume you're speaking of Leah?”

“Yes. You're sleeping with her.” He didn't ask—it was a statement of fact. Tristan couldn't deny that it had happened, only that it was happening now.

“I wasn't aware that was your business.”

“She's my sister.” Nate tossed the fact out as if it explained everything.

“True, but you've also been rather dismissive of her these last months. In fact, you've been downright cold to her. “

“That's about family. It doesn't concern you.” Nate was normally very easygoing and affable. But his hackles were up, and Tristan had no intention of making this easy on him. If he was going to be a protective older brother, he had to act like an older brother.

“Well, my friendship with her doesn't concern you. And we are friends. First and foremost.”

“So, is something going on?” He was still trying to get information.

Tristan walked around the large glass desk and cocked his hip into the edge. “We like to spend time together on occasion. It's nothing serious. Nothing inappropriate.” That wasn't a lie. They were two consenting adults.

“Inappropriate? So you're not sleeping with her?”

This conversation was tiresome. “That question was totally out of line because even if I were, I'd never discuss it.
With anyone
. I'd like to think I was raised better than that.”

Nate folded his arms and looked away, his expression changing from frustration to sadness. “A few years ago, something happened to her, and we don't know what it was. She changed. I guess I'm worried.”

“She's got a good head on her shoulders. Smart, driven. She knows what she wants.”

“Someone hurt her. Sent her into a spiral that she hasn't ever bounced back from. I guess we're all . . . concerned.”

“It's funny,” Tris said. “You're so concerned about her being hurt, but you're someone who has done quite a bit of it
yourself.”

Nate opened his mouth to speak, but stopped. Tristan should know better than to tread into family territory, but he couldn't keep this to himself any longer. “She's sorry, Nate. That I do know. Your sister values family above all else.” He also knew that she wasn't as “tough” as everyone seemed to think. Why couldn't they see it?

There wasn't much else he could say without letting on about what happened between him and Leah, but he was of the mind that brother and sister needed to bury the hatchet. It was the only way either of them could move on.

“I know she is. Jenna's forgiven her. I suppose it's my turn.” He picked up his file and stuffed his free hand in his pocket. “I'm sorry about this. I don't usually have such a heavy hand.”

“No worries. I have a sister, I understand where it's coming from.” Nodding his agreement, Tris glanced at his watch. “You have anything else on your schedule today?”

Nate looked up, curious. “Nothing pressing. Why?”

“Come on. I think we both need to blow off a little steam. Eh?”

*  *  *

Fewer things relaxed Leah more than time spent on the farm. She'd been taking statements from clients all day at an office close to her parents' house, and when the depositions ended early, she took advantage of the time to head to the barn.

Kylemore Farms had been in her family for three generations. The farm, which had one of the best breeding programs in the country, was named for an abbey in Ireland near where her mother's family was from. There were two properties that were part of the business, the original barn in Muttontown, and a newer facility on the east end of Long Island in Bridgehampton. The entire operation was presently run by her father, but Nate would be taking over the main barn within the next year and her parents would move east.

It was a good arrangement and would give Nate the opportunity to do what he should have been doing all along—working with horses—and her parents would get the quieter life they needed to focus on her mother's health.

What she didn't expect when she pulled down the long road leading to the barns was to see Tristan and Nate's cars parked side by side in the parking area. So much for having a little quiet time to herself.

Awesome,
she thought.
He's the last thing I need right now.

When she thought about that particular statement, Leah wasn't quite sure which “he” she meant. Her brother, who would undoubtedly give her the cold shoulder, or Tristan, who would probably give her a look that would make her want to jump him. Despite their being just friends.
Friends
. The word was death to her sex life.

Nope. It didn't matter.

She didn't want to see either one of them.

But she wasn't going to leave either. Running wasn't her style. She'd had a crap day, her mother had invited her to dinner, and she wanted to take her horse out on the trail and forget about how her life had taken a turn no one ever expected.
Especially Leah.

Grabbing her bag from the backseat of her car, Leah made her way toward the changing rooms on the far side of the large barn. The farm could accommodate forty horses in the regular barns, where they trained horses and riders, as well as a ten-stall breeding barn on the other side of the road. Da had said one of the mares was ready to drop her foal, and Leah was hoping to be there when it happened. Growing up, nothing was more exciting than seeing a foal born.

Leah remembered the first time she saw a foaling. She was ten and had followed her father and Nate down to the barn in the middle of the night.

It was a tough birth, the vet had come out, and Leah felt like she'd held her breath forever waiting for the baby to be born. It was nerve-wracking, thrilling, and moved her in a way her ten-year-old self didn't yet understand.

She'd never forgotten it. Years later, Leah discovered that her father knew she was there the whole time. He figured if she'd made the effort to come down in the middle of the night, he wasn't of a mind to send her back to bed. That was her father to the core. Fair to the end.

Thinking about the upcoming birth, the cold weather was the big concern. It wasn't the best time of year to be introducing a baby into the barn, but this pregnancy was a surprise. As it happened, Da bought the mare from a farm in Virginia and she arrived pregnant. “A twofer,” her father said. Leah couldn't have been happier.

Sighing audibly as she traded her high heels for her favorite pair of jeans, Leah thought she might actually be a little bit envious of her brother. He was getting off the crazy hamster wheel that had become his business, and opting for a slower lifestyle. He had a wife. He had a baby on the way. Nate pretty much had everything.