Because I Love You (8 page)

Come to my apartment for dinner. I'll make pasta. We can have a quiet night in. I'm sure that will be welcome after having your brother underfoot for a whole week.

That sounds perfect,
he responded.

His response set off a fluttering in her belly. Already she was anticipating where this might lead. Over the past six months she and Tristan had gone from strangers to friends to unexpected lovers, then right back again. They both knew the risks. Both knew that they had to be careful, but for the first time in a very long time, Leah was more eager to take the chance with someone than lose him.

She expected there would be no middle ground with the two of them. That's why the friends-with-benefits arrangement wouldn't have worked. From the start, Leah felt differently about Tristan than other male acquaintances. The response he elicited was scary as hell because Leah knew if she went with her gut, her life was going to change.

And for the first time in years, she was okay with that.

Leah was cooking dinner.

In her apartment.

For a man.

Shit.

It wasn't that she couldn't cook. Most definitely, Leah could hold her own. She and her siblings had been taught the basics with Sally, so none of them would starve, and Leah often stayed around in the kitchen to learn different techniques even after the others had bolted. Sally, who was skimpy with praise, said her work was acceptable. Leah was always proud that she'd made it that far.

But now Tristan was coming over and she was chopping garlic for the pasta sauce and worrying that she'd forgotten something important at the market. God, she hoped he liked pasta.

“Pssht. Of course he likes pasta,” she muttered to herself. “Everyone likes pasta.”

Maybe it was time for wine. Wine made everything better.
Or worse.
It could make it worse. Going to the well-stocked bar in her living room, Leah pulled out a bottle of Sangiovese she'd found on her last trip to Italy. Her grandparents owned a villa on Lake Como and she and her sister had spent two glorious weeks there taking excursions to Cinque Terre, Florence, and wineries in Chianti. Good red wine was Leah's weakness, and she'd found one vineyard that was heaven on earth. She'd bought three cases of wine and had them shipped to the States. The one she'd just opened was her next-to-last bottle.

This date had better turn out to be worth it.

Grabbing one of the wine glasses she'd placed on the dining room table, Leah did a heavy pour of her favorite vintage, taking a long swallow from the crystal glass. The flavors played over her tongue and she relished the blending of fruit and oak.

Just as she swallowed, the door buzzer let her know her company had arrived. She hadn't seen him in almost a week, and after spending so much time together after his riding accident, it was a little unnerving. They'd definitely gotten used to each other. But their relationship ran hot and cold. Since he'd gone back to work, Leah didn't feel the need to hover any more. Like, you know . . . a girlfriend might do.

They were both confused as hell.

Just as she'd done a thousand times since she'd moved into the gorgeous prewar building in the West Village, Leah pressed the intercom and the front door release. She didn't know what she was going to do yet about an apartment. Her lease was up soon, and she had to make a decision to stay or move. “Hi,” she said into the speaker. “Come on up.”

“On my way,” he said, his voice sounding sexier than usual. She paused. What did that mean, exactly? Good Lord. She was doomed.

It was only a minute until she heard the knock on the door and her insides began to quiver. He wasn't even in the apartment and she was a tingly mess. Which was different for her. Leah never let her emotions get the better of her anymore. But Tris held all the cards, and Leah was pretty sure he knew it.

Taking a deep breath before greeting her date, Leah checked herself in the mirror. She'd made time to get a manicure and pedicure. She'd had her hair blown out. In short, she'd primped. Even though she was still dressed from work, in a silk blouse and a pencil skirt, she felt like she'd made an effort for him, and that wasn't something she'd done for anyone in a very long time.

Deciding she looked fine, Leah pulled open the door and her breath caught. Tris had a way of doing that to her. The man was sinfully dark and sexy, and Leah didn't think she'd ever get over the way he affected her on such a visceral level.

He was leaning into the doorframe, still in his navy-blue suit from work. His tie was gone, his collar was open, and he was sporting a delicious amount of scruff to go with his hooded, dark eyes. He looked like he was ready for a
GQ
magazine shoot.

In one hand he held a bottle of wine, in the other, a bouquet of flowers. Nothing as predictable as a dozen roses. Tristan brought a gorgeous mix of blooms in fall colors.

“These reminded me of you,” he said, as he handed her the bouquet.

The flowers were beautiful and a rose or two complemented the scent of the gerbera daisies, lilies, and zinnias. “These are lovely, thank you.”

She stepped back from the door, opening the way to her space, which was at least clean today. The last time he'd been there, she'd been having a meltdown, and her apartment definitely suffered for it.

“Not as lovely as you,” he said while kissing her quickly.

“You executed that line so well,” she teased. It was true, no one delivered a cheesy line like Tristan. He grinned, satisfied, and kissed her again. And again. And again.

“I do believe I've missed you, Miss Bayard.”

“And I you, Mr. Wade.” Licking her lips, she liked tasting him there, liked feeling him warm against her.

“Something smells delicious, and I don't mean you.”

Leah found a vase on a shelf in the living room and headed toward the kitchen with Tris close behind. “I'm making a seafood scampi over fresh linguini. Sound good to you?”

“I love pasta. But will it keep?” Without warning, he grabbed her and spun her into his arms. So much for talking about this. “You sound better.”

“Well, hello to you, too. You haven't been here two minutes! Is that how this is going to go? Have I gone from friend to booty call?”

Leaning over her shoulder and looking at her behind, Tristan grinned. “I wasn't going to make it about your
booty,
but we can.”

“Very funny.” Leah reached out and placed the flowers on the kitchen counter before looping her arms around his neck and kissing him soundly. “It's only been five days since I've seen you.”

“Five.” A kiss. “Miserable.” Another kiss. “Days.” A long slow kiss. Tris held her tightly about the waist and locked his gaze on her face. Leah leaned into him, wishing she had the nerve to slow this down, but she just didn't want to. “I missed you. Quite a bit, actually.” He dropped his head and pressed his lips to her forehead. “I guess that's your cue to get a headache or come down with a virus since we're just friends. Or maybe you'd like to ring Nick.”

In her head, Leah broke into a happy dance. Tristan was jealous.

“Call Nick?” She smacked his arm. “Stop being an ass. Do you work at your asshole-ness, or is it natural?”

“It's a gift.” He nuzzled behind her ear. “So what happened with my brother? He wouldn't tell me a thing, the bloody bastard. He couldn't leave here fast enough.”

She looked in his eyes and kissed him, and all the while her heart did a little flip. “Nothing happened.”

“Nothing?”

“No. He's very nice, your brother, but if I realized anything it was that I seem to have a thing for you.” For years, Leah had run from her emotions, tamping them down and tucking them away. But there was no running from Tristan. This was it—she had to face what was in her heart and the feelings she was developing for this man were so big, and so wild, they terrified her. But she wasn't running, she couldn't. This time she had to face it head-on. “No headache. No stomach virus. I guess whatever is going on here is a surprise to both of us.”

“That's for sure. I knew I liked you, that there was something special about you, but it's more . . . it's different between us, for me at least.”

He was right. It was different, even though both of them had been trying to avoid the obvious and powerful attraction.

Leah gave in to it. To the fear, the happiness, all of it swamped her in ways she couldn't explain. Tristan pressed her head into his chest, holding her so close she could feel his heart beating. And strangely, the heat and passion that seemed to rule them were gone from the moment, replaced by something much more dangerous. They'd been honest with each other, and now they were unprotected. Vulnerable. There was no hiding and no turning back. Their hearts would have to take the hits now.

However, unlike the past, Leah felt calm, not panicked that Tris had some hidden agenda. It was strange trusting someone with her very essence, but never had it felt more right.

Pulling back and looking up into his deep brown eyes, Leah saw something tender and sweet, something that let her know he was as nervous as she was.

He kissed her softly. It was different than before. Not hot, but—did she dare think it?—loving.

“How about we have dinner? I want to hear about everything you've been doing the past five days,” he whispered. “I make pasta like a pro, so I can help.” He took off his jacket and draped it over the stool at the kitchen island.

Leah's heart was right in her throat. She couldn't speak. Filling the vase with water, she arranged the flowers while he
stood by quietly.

“Do you want me to leave, love?”

Leah blinked and turned toward him. What the hell? His hip was pressed into the edge of the granite countertop and his face was awash with questions.

“Leave? Why would you think—”

“You're so quiet. I'm just wondering if the idea of going off plan has hit you and you're not so thrilled about it after all.”

“Oh! No! Not at all. I just . . .” She walked to him, tentatively taking his hands in hers. He had beautiful hands, large and warm. Gentle. “I never thought I'd want to take the chance again. I'm a little surprised, that's all.”

Gripping her hands tightly, Tris brought her knuckles to his lips. “I think it's time for you to tell me what scared you off relationships. I have a feeling it's something I should know about, going forward.”

Leah looked at their joined hands. Seeing it through his eyes, Leah understood that she had to tell him. The friends-with-benefits arrangement had gone all to hell. They'd moved past it, like he said, and Tristan had a right to know what he was getting into. For better or worse, he had to know. And she wanted to tell him.

“Let me get you some wine and we'll go sit down. This is a long story.”

*  *  *

Tristan figured Leah would want a little space as she told her tale, but instead she settled into the crook of his arm. Warm and close, she wasn't looking at him, but he was happy she wanted him to touch her, that he made her feel safe. Wrapping his arms securely around her, Tris could only imagine what she was going to tell him. He'd never been a gem of a boyfriend, but he'd never caused a woman so much heartache that she'd sworn off men altogether. Most of his ex-girlfriends chalked him up to a good time, an experience, and had gone on to marry very well.

But Leah was broken, hurt, and unsure. It confounded him, and angered him beyond words. He wanted to lay out the man who'd caused her such pain.

“So, I guess I should start at the beginning.”

“That's usually the best place.”

Her voice was steady, but not without a crack here and there. Tris held one of her hands, to reassure her, once again, that he wasn't going anywhere. At this point their relationship had to be able to stand on its own. The baggage had to be jettisoned, so they could see what was ahead for the two of them. It might be nothing, a fling, but it could be the brass ring. She could be the person who changed his life.

“Between my second and third years of law school, I landed a plum summer associate position with a firm in Boston. I had a great experience and was offered one of the three junior associate positions they had available after I graduated. Right on schedule, and after several weeks in Europe with my sister, I started with the firm in August the following year.”

She took a swallow of her wine, pressing forward with her story. “The first six months were uneventful. I made friends,
worked insane hours, studied for the Bar. Looking back, I can say it was quite boring, and exhausting, but I loved it. I loved the work, the people, the city. My family wasn't far away, I was doing really well, and the partners were taking notice of my work and my work ethic. I was hungry. There was a lot of chatter around the office about me being put on the fast track.”

“I'm assuming things didn't stay the course?”

She tilted her head, acknowledging him, and continued. “That's an understatement. I, ah, I fell in love and derailed my career.”

Not so unusual. The passions were running high in all those young attorneys. Looking at Leah, he could see why someone would find her attractive. Her wit, her beauty would have done him in when he was twenty-five. Hell, he was a goner at thirty-five. Who was he kidding?

But derailing her career?

“I'm not following. Was it an office romance? Was that the problem?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “I was involved with another attorney. And he was my boss.”

That was the last thing Tristan expected to come out of her mouth. Leah was such a straight arrow, he couldn't imagine her taking that kind of risk, breaching protocol in such a spectacular way. “Your boss?”

He glanced around and saw her brow furrow. “See? You're shocked.”

Damn right he was shocked.

She didn't miss a beat, going right back to her story. “I never expected it. It started innocently, and before I knew it we were sleeping together. We were also doing everything possible to keep the relationship secret. That should have been my first clue. He was terrified we'd be discovered.”

“There was a policy, then?”

“Relationships between colleagues weren't encouraged, but it happened. Mostly without issue. I thought he was nervous about us because he was on the verge of making full partner, and he was my superior.”

“That's understandable. He didn't coerce you at all?”

Leah's eyes met his. “I didn't feel that way, no. There was never pressure, and I never feared for my job. But he did pursue me, and he had no right to do so.”

“He was your superior; it wasn't appropriate.”

“It was more than that. He was engaged to be married. A lovely woman, really. Her father was one of the founding partners of the firm. She was on a six-month assignment in San Francisco. I had no idea.”