Because the Night (The Night Songs Collection) (22 page)

Chapter Forty Two

My muscles tied themselves in intricate knots as I got ready for Janelle’s service Tuesday night. Amanda had called to tell me about it, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she sounded like she wanted to take back the invitation. “It’s just a little thing some friends put together to honor Janelle. You don’t have to worry about coming,” she’d said.

Janelle’s friends had always treated me more like an exhibit at the zoo than someone who shared a house with her. Lennon thankfully had agreed to come with me, to ease some of the awkwardness. Although, Janelle had never been a big fan of Lennon, so I could only imagine what the rest of her friends would think of her.

The formal services were being held in Janelle’s native Arizona, so her family wouldn’t be at the memorial. Her friends had rented a private room at The Serenade Cantina. It made sense, I guess, to gather at the Alta Vista since all of her friends seemed to have their love of Immortal Dilemma in common.

The conversation and laughter in the room fell to a hush as we entered. All eyes were on us. I didn’t know what to do. I fought the urge to run as far away from everyone as possible. Lennon hooked her arm in mine and led me to a table in the back corner.

“Why are they all staring at us like this?” I whispered to her once we were seated.

“Because you’re sleeping with their hero and they’re still making out with their pillows.” Lennon rolled her eyes. “They’re probably wetting their pants hoping Tristan is going to show up.”

I hadn’t even thought of that. “I’m sure he’d find this as painful and awkward as we do.”

I scanned the room trying not to make eye contact with any of them. One girl had turned her chair towards us. At first I couldn’t figure out why she looked familiar, but as I stared at her mouth to try to figure out what she was mouthing to me, I realized who it was.

It was the girl who’d confronted me at The Bloody Heretic Hall the night of Immortal Dilemma’s surprise show, and tried to kill herself on stage. She hadn’t succeeded and she hadn’t gotten over it, since the word she mouthed at me was “slut.” I jumped once I made the connection, and kept my eyes down on the table, reading the drink menu over and over again until the service started. Lennon made small talk, but I could barely even focus on that.

“I’d like to thank everyone for coming.” I hadn’t seen Amanda go to the front of the room. I’d been to unnerved to look at anyone but Lennon. She stood tall in a long black form-fitting dress with a slit all the way up to her hip. Fishnets peeked out of the slit and her cleavage threatened to spill out of the neckline. Her voice wavered and cracked as she addressed the room, but it took her just that one sentence to break down.

“This sucks so bad, you guys! Why does Janelle have to be dead?” She waved her hand in front of her eyes, trying to dry her tears without disturbing her makeup. “Why can’t she live forever like the vampires?”

“Because her freak roommate doesn’t know what’s real and what’s fantasy!” Someone called out. I practically jumped out of my skin. Didn’t they know I was here, mourning just like they were? I started to stand up, to run, but Lennon put out her arm and guided me back down.

“I don’t want to hear this!” I hissed at her.

“You should.” She whispered back. “You need to know how these girls think. You can’t trust them. You’re different now. There’s no going back.”

I reluctantly put my purse back down on the table, hoping that Janelle’s friends would return to the matter at hand. Our friend was
dead
.

“Janelle made a lot of things real for us.” Amanda started again. “She brought the Immortal Dilemma community together with her awesome website.”

“She just used Janelle to stalk Tristan.” The same girl who’d called out before said. I recognized her as one of the girls who came to the apartment often, who’d always been as sweet as pie to me.

“There’s no way Tristan’s actually with that little half-breed ragamuffin. She’s sick in the head.” Another one interjected before Amanda could continue. “Now she killed Janelle in some sick blood ritual.”

“I DID NOT!” I roared, rising to my feet. The whole room turned to look at me. My eyes met Amanda’s. Somehow she looked satisfied with this turn of events. “I don’t care if you guys don’t like me, or if you don’t approve of what I do —“

“Or if you’re just jealous.” Lennon interjected. I shook my head, letting her know I had this.

“I would never, ever hurt another person. Especially like that. I’m going to leave, so you can all say goodbye to Janelle without being distracted by me. This is about Janelle, not me.” I pulled Lennon up from her chair and tried not to run out of the room.

“Are you a vampire now, too? What’s it like to drink blood?” The girl continued.

“Stop it.” I whispered.

“I can’t even believe you’re not in jail, bloodsucker.” A wicked smile spread across the accuser’s lips, as if she felt dangerous saying such things to me.

“I didn’t do it!” I yelled.

“Yes, you did.” A voice I didn’t recognize called out from behind me.

What was I going to do? Was this going to go on forever? The investigation had to show I had nothing to do with Janelle’s murder. But I’d never feel comfortable among the Immortal Dilemma fans again, just knowing these people thought I was actually capable of such a depraved act.

“Callie won’t be thinking of any of you when she’s in bed with Tristan in a couple hours.” Lennon assured them on our way out.

I didn’t even breathe until we made it back to the common area. Lennon burst out laughing when we stopped.

“You thought that was funny? Those girls think I’m a murderer!” I burst out in tears.

“Doll, they’re so delusional. Don’t even worry about a word they said. Girls like that will say anything to try to drag you down, thinking somehow it will make them look good to the guys in the band. It just makes them look even crazier.” Lennon led me back to the garage, knowing tonight wasn’t the best night to hang around The Sin City Vampire Club. “I’m sorry it had to happen like this, but now at least you don’t have to have any contact with those weirdoes. It was just a matter of time before something happened.”

“Something did happen.” I buckled myself in to Lennon’s car. She backed out of the spot without even looking. A symphony of car horns voiced their displeasure with her driving. “Janelle is dead.”

“Oh my God.” Lennon gasped. “What if one of her ‘friends’ did it, trying to pin you for the murder?”

My heart stopped just thinking about it. The image of Janelle’s mangled body flashed again before my eyes. “No.” I said quietly. “No human could have done that.”

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing we’re on everyone’s good side.” Lennon smiled at me.

“They were coming for me.” My blood ran cold. Why did the monster have to attack Janelle? Why couldn’t they have just waited for me? I thought of Peter’s proposal. I couldn’t afford to have another master vampire irritated with me. I was going to have to do what wanted me to.

Chapter Forty Three

Peter saw his proposition as a simple transaction, a delivery of sorts. I didn’t see it that way. Taking Tristan’s blood was something spiritual, erotic, special. We shared a bond. I didn’t want to just pass it out like a cheap souvenir to the first person who asked. I didn’t know if I could betray Tristan like that. I felt like I was handing over one of his vital organs to an enemy.

There had to be another way to help Blade. I felt like I’d run into a brick wall. I hadn’t found out anything working at the bar. Dave didn’t answer my calls anymore. Peter and Fire Dancer had been the only people willing to help me since I’d started this mission.

Work dragged on endlessly that night. I kept watching the door, waiting for Peter to come back, looking for Tristan’s blood, but he never showed.

We returned to Lennon’s apartment shortly before dawn. She dispensed sleeping pills like candy, considering which color to give me tonight before settling on the blue ones. I swallowed them without questioning her, although they were different that the ones I’d had on the two previous nights. I wondered why she gave me something different each night, and why she had so many.

The blue pills didn’t work. Tonight was the first night I couldn’t get comfortable on the couch. I tossed, turned, and kicked the blankets off. Every time I closed my eyes I thought of Noah feeding off of me, draining Tristan’s blood from my body. Taking Tristan from me.

“I can’t do it.” I said to no one the next morning.

“Can’t do what, honey?” Lennon looked up from her bowl of Fruit Loops.

“I can’t let someone feed from me. I don’t know if I can do any of this anymore. Those girls thought I could do something like that to Janelle. They think I’m a bloodthirsty beast because they know about Tristan! They have no idea what we really do! How could they think I could do such a thing?” I dissolved into tears.

Lennon put her cereal bowl down on the side table and held me while I cried. “Shh. They have no idea what it’s all about. They’re just ignorant, thinking that being with Tristan has anything to do with what happened to Janelle. I wish I could say it was unusual, but it’s the norm.”

I looked up at her, bewildered. “What do you mean?”

“People are always going to think stupid things because you have a relationship with a vampire. They don’t understand, so they judge you. They make unfair assumptions. They blame you for things they can’t explain. I wish I could say I was surprised by what’s happening, sugar, but I’m not.”

“People treat you like this?”

“They did.” Lennon said quietly. “Why do you think I pursued Jacey? Sure, I love him now, but I needed the blood. I needed to be accepted somewhere. Regular people, they just don’t get it. They’re mean, Callie. You’re a tough girl but after a while it just gets to be too much.”

I leaned back on the couch, letting her words sink in.

“If you walk away from this, Callie, no one wins. Not you, not Blade, and not Tristan. That’s the beauty of life, doll. You can make it anything you want. We don’t have to answer to anyone we don’t want to. Of course, we’re not going to make everyone happy, but at the end of the day, the only person you have to answer to is you.”

Lennon was right. I was delusional if I thought I could just pack up my things, go home, and resume my life like nothing had ever happened. All the decisions I’d made in the few months were permanently tattooed on my soul. They were part of my story now, and that story needed an ending.

Chapter Forty Four

Sore and lightheaded from testing Tristan’s limits until the sky brightened that morning, I had a hard time moving from Lennon’s couch all day. Thankfully, she seemed to understand exactly what I needed. Once I finally picked my head up off the pillow, she presented me with brunch featuring eggs, toast, and sausage. I did my best with the sausage to ignore all the fillers.

“You need the protein.” She had piled her breakfast together to make a sandwich and flipped on a Sex And The City marathon. “So, you have to dish. What did you guys do? You can’t even move.”

“What didn’t we do?” I sucked down the last of my second cup of coffee. Without being asked, Lennon grabbed my empty cup to refill. “He teased me last night, saying I had to get used to too much. So with my Venom courage —“

“You drink that stuff?” Lennon looked shocked.

“Every so often. And I always wake up feeling like this.”

“Wow. That knocks me on my ass. Anyways, back to the good stuff!”

I shuddered thinking about it. I wasn’t uncomfortable sharing with Lennon like I would have been with almost anyone else, but last night seemed different. “It was almost spiritual. So slow and controlled. I thought I was going to explode. We practically crawled inside of each other. I let him have my blood.”

I needed to get used to the idea of people taking my blood, whether I liked it or not.

“Anything involving blood feels amazing.”

“Last night, I wanted to give it to him. I’m scared though. It was a lot of blood. We were both covered.” My head swam at the thought of the red water going down the shower drain as we cleaned ourselves off. The hot water stung the open wounds on my skin. We scratched and clawed and lapped at each other until we were raw. I loved the slick feeling of Tristan’s skin against my tongue as the water washed away the blood. I loved the way it made us fit together even more perfectly.

Already, I craved the pain all over again. His blood.

“Scared of what?”

“What if I become a vampire?”

“It’s not like the flu, sugar. You don’t catch it. He’s got to drain you almost down to nothing and let you drink from him until you come back.”

“I feel like I’m playing with fire.” I flopped back down on the pillow, my belly full and energy sapped. I felt bad watching Lennon wait on me, but I just couldn’t move off the couch yet.

“You are.” She pulled out a bottle of nail polish and started to paint her toes. The smell made my breakfast spin in my stomach. “But you need get yourself together. I’ve planned a little get together at friendly Camp Fire Dancer.”

“Are you sure this is pleasure and not business?” I couldn’t face business tonight.

“I promise you. Get some more sleep. I have a couple of errands to run. I’ll wake you up in time to be fabulous for tonight, doll.”

**

All of my party dresses looked downright shabby in comparison to Lennon’s sexy wardrobe. I dug through the paper bags lined up on the floor, trying to figure out what to wear to my party. How was I ever going to look cute tonight? My energy level screamed for sweatpants. One of the tops Tristan bought me when I couldn’t get to my things was long enough to double as a dress. An embroidered babydoll in black and purple ombre, it fit my playful yet dark mood, and covered the scrapes and bruises from last night. I pulled on tights and my lace up boots. I felt like a punk rock hippie chick as I let Lennon play with my hair and put on my makeup. She wouldn’t let me see anything until she finished me off with purple nail polish.

“What do you think? You really look like a doll, doll.” She handed me a small mirror.

It took me a minute to register the person in the reflection was me. I didn’t look overly made up, but whatever Lennon did made my eyes pop and my skin glow. She twisted the front of my hair back, similar to what I did in ten seconds every day with a barrette, but its intricacy looked effortless.

“You need to teach me how to do this.”

“Anytime.” Lennon beamed, not realizing what a gift she had to transform people like she did.

This time, Lennon had a plastic All Access lanyard for me as we approached The Riviera. My promotion made me wary. Nothing came for free around here.

The whole band lounged in the backstage area. Lennon made a beeline to Jacey. I followed her, not looking at anyone else, especially Noah. Jacey pulled Lennon down on top of his sprawled out body on the couch. I wasn’t sure where to go or where to look as they wrapped themselves around each other.

My body tensed as I felt an arm slip around my waist. “Hello, muse.” Noah’s oily voice slithered in my ear. “You look good enough to eat this evening.”

“Maybe it’s time you became a vegetarian.” I rolled my eyes and wriggled free from his grasp. I sandwiched myself between Jacey’s feet and the far cushion on the couch. Just the sound of Noah’s voice made me burn with anger. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, scanning the room. I’d never met the other band members, but they looked amused with our exchange.

“I’m Callie, by the way.” I needed to break the awkward silence.

“Oh, they know, muse.” Noah winked. I ignored him.

“Oh my God! I’m so rude! I thought you all knew each other.” Lennon came up for air. “Callie, This is Miguel, the rhythm guitarist, Vinny, the bassist, and Bo, the drummer.” We all nodded at each other. “Callie’s my new roommate. Don’t be alarmed guys, but she is um, friends with Tristan from Immortal Dilemma.”

The temperature in the room dropped several degrees. Why did we have to draw lines in the sand so soon?

“She’s my best friend, and I love her, so you do too.” Lennon continued. My heart warmed at her declaration.

“Oh, I can love her, alright.” Noah never stopped.

“Knock it off, Noah. You’re obviously pissing her off.” Vinny piped in. “Peter told us why you’re here, Callie. It’s cool.”

“I can handle him. Not that I want to.”

Bo smiled. “Alright, you’re cool. Let’s do some shots. How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

His eyes widened but he didn’t miss a beat. “Eighteen shots it is.” He stood up and grabbed a bottle from the bar.

“No way.” I still didn’t feel a hundred percent from last night, and I needed to have all my wits about me with this crowd.

“I’ll do eighteen body shots off of you later.” Noah smirked.

“Like hell you will.”

The rest of the band did their best to stifle snickers.

“Come on, guys, we have a fan event before the show. Hopefully you’ll find someone to keep your mind off Callie, Noah.” Jacey untangled himself from Lennon, who landed on the cushion next to me and squeezed my hand.

“Never.” Noah wrapped his finger around one of my lose curls before he left the room.

“Ugh.” I made a face at the door once he closed it. “Do the fans ever bother you?”

“No, they all seem pretty cool, actually. It’s a different group. They’re really more into the music.” Lennon stretched out on the now empty couch. “I swear Talis casts some sort of voodoo spell over people to make money.”

“Tell me about it.”

Lennon looked deep in thought for a few minutes before she continued. “You know, I think I figured out why the vultures bother you. You don’t fit the part, and you know it. They all know it. That’s why they think they can intimidate you. You’ve got to be more comfortable in your own skin around these people.”

“I’m comfortable around the people who matter to me.”

“But you let all the others push your buttons. You’ve got to be as ‘fuck you’ to all of them as you are to Noah.”

I nodded. Easier said than done when I had some unknown beast wanting me dead.

Fire Dancer put on another great show, but tonight instead of hanging around the theater, we headed to a high rise apartment building just off of the Strip which housed Peter’s apartment. The sleek architecture was offset by his cowboy interior design. I winced at the taxidermy animals staring blankly at me from multiple points around the apartment. I didn’t want to know how so many dead animals had made their way to a vampire’s home.

Old rhythm and blues surrounded us from an elaborate sound system. A tub of ice offered a variety of drinks, but mostly Venom. I wondered how much company Lennon and I had as members of the human race at this gathering.

“Good to see you again, Callie.” Peter held his thick hand out to me, kissing mine when I placed my fingers over it. “Could we talk before the festivities are in full swing?”

I gulped, eyeing the Venom. “Sure.”

He brought me into a quiet office, decorated with what looked to be old fashioned hunting gear. I didn’t know much about weapons. I didn’t sit, even when he motioned for me to do so.

“We need to put our plan in action.” He announced matter of factly.

“I don’t think tonight is a good night.”

“I’m sure you could say that about any night.” His eyes darkened and he folded his arms over his large belly, leaning back in his horsehair chair. “I’m sure Blade thinks the same exact thing. We don’t have unlimited time to act, Callie.”

“I know.” I whispered. “What do I have to do?”

“Nothing that you aren’t accustomed to already.” His voice sounded soothing, and I wondered if he had been a father when he was alive. “You just need to give a little blood. If you don’t mind me asking, when was the last time you saw Tristan?”

I smiled at Peter’s reddening cheeks. His attempts to remain as gentlemanly as possible made me feel better. “Last night.”

“Perfect.” His face brightened and the flush faded. “Would you like a drink or anything?”

“Are we going to do this now?”

“Oh, no. Like I said the other night, I don’t do my own dirty work.” Peter stood up and ran his finger along one of the shotguns on the wall. I don’t think he had any idea how much that simple move unnerved me. “Noah is the strongest. He’s the best choice.”

“You can’t be serious.” I backed up, making my way towards the door.

Peter beat me to it, placing his huge hand over the knob. “Think of Blade, Callie. Noah is my best chance against Talis.”

I leaned against a giant bookcase, gasping for air. “There’s got to be another way.”

“If you can think of one, let me know. But I’ve been working against vampires longer than you’ve been alive. That’s how I became clan leader. I know what I’m doing.”

He had no idea what he was doing to me.

“Do you want to help Blade, Callie?” He cocked his head to look me.

“I do.” My eyes brimmed with tears.

“Good girl.” He squeezed my hand. “Mo will bring you into the other room. Is there anything else you need?”

“Venom. Lots of it.”

Mo led me down the hallway and opened the door into a plush bedroom. My heart beat even faster as I watched him pour Venom over ice into a fluted glass.

“Please be careful with this, Miss Callie.” Mo soft voice’s still had a heavy accent. “This isn’t good for humans.”

“Thanks.” There was a bite to my tone. I sighed and looked down. “Is anything here good for humans?”

He looked at me sadly but didn’t say another word before he left the room.

I sat stiffly on the edge of a chair near a window. The apartment wasn’t as high up as Tristan’s, and showed a totally different view. I could see the hollows of incomplete buildings and construction equipment, cars buzzing past on the 15, as well as the lights leading the way to downtown. I watched the city buzz below and tried to quiet the screaming in my brain.

“Hello, muse.” I jumped when I realized Noah kneeled in front of me. Instead of taunting me for catching me off guard, he smiled hopefully. I think he might have been as nervous as I was.

“Listen, this is a business transaction, nothing more.” I bristled away from him as he lightly ran his fingers over my knee. “Just blood, that’s it. You try anything else and I swear to God, I’ll kill you.”

“I don’t make promises I can’t keep. You shouldn’t, either.” He pulled me up out of the chair by my stiff, balled up fists. There was no way I could take him down, but a swift kick to the junk had to hurt even a vampire. “You know what the blood does to us. You know what you do to me.”

“Noah,” I found myself turned away from him, as he cradled me from behind with one hand as he rubbed my shoulders with the other. At first the movement of the fabric against my raw skin stung, but after a minute I felt myself relax. I took another sip of Venom. “I don’t know any other way to say this, but I really don’t like you. I don’t know how I can make that any clearer.”

“There’s a thin line between love and hate, muse.” Now both his hands worked at my back. “I’ve made myself pretty clear, too. And here we are.”

“I’m doing this to help Blade.” I turned around to face him.

“Is that what you tell Tristan when you’re with him?” He didn’t give me a chance to answer before his lips landed on mine. I stood frozen as he pushed his tongue into my mouth as he place one hand on the back of my neck to pull me in closer and the other slid up my thigh, cupping the curve of my behind.

“Stop it.” He was too strong for me. I couldn’t push myself away. “Just the blood.”

“It’s never just the blood.” He moved down to suck on my neck. I was thankful the room was dark so he couldn’t see how torn up my skin was from last night.

“This time it is.” My heart leaped into my throat. “Noah, you must have girls throwing themselves at you. You don’t have to force anyone that doesn’t want it.”

“I know.” The danger in his eyes had electrical charge. “You want it, Callie. You want to help Blade.” The hand on my neck wound itself into my hair, pulling me in closer to his face.

I couldn’t help letting the tears run down my face. Usually I would have cursed my weakness, but now I hope they helped prove my point. “I don’t want this.” I had to force the words out.

His grip loosened on my hair and his hand dropped away from my ass. Not moving away from me, he placed both hands on my shoulders and led me over to the bed. It was a relief to sit down. All of my bones felt like rubber.

“Shhh.” He rubbed my back as I cried.

I looked up at him once I regained my composure. The predatory look had faded away. His face brightened when my eyes met his. This time he looked more sympathetic. “It’ll be easier for you with a little foreplay first. Otherwise, it will hurt like hell when I bite you. You need to relax.”