Because the Night (The Night Songs Collection) (23 page)

He was right. When Tristan had sunk into me without warning, it felt exactly like what it was. A monster tearing into my flesh. But I didn’t see how let him paw at me would make me relax. His hand moved back up to my shoulder and I put my head against his chest. The anxiety paired with the Venom made my vision swim.

Noah lowered his head to the crook of my neck, nuzzling the skin. I stayed perfectly still. The hem of my skirt balled tightly twisted in my fists. I had to do this to help Blade. I closed my eyes, and tried to transport myself away from the situation. I pictured myself lying on Blade’s couch. Blade kissing me instead.

When he finally sank his teeth into my skin, it felt good. Too good. I slipped in and out of consciousness as he drank, my hands gripped his arms to draw him in closer. The edges of my reality blurred into jewel tones.

He lowered me down on to the bed, still sucking at my neck. I moaned, now pulling at his hair. I opened my eyes and saw stars.

His hands worked their way back under my dress as he moved his mouth back to mine. This time I accepted his kiss, letting our tongues tangle together. I could taste my own blood. Noah unhooked my bra and reached around to cup my freed breasts. My hips arched as he brushed his fingers lightly over my nipples. He pulled away from my kiss, and stared down at me for a minute, maybe looking for disapproval, before he pulled my dress up over my head and freed my bra from my shoulders.

“You’re so fucking sexy,” he whispered as he kissed my breast. I closed my eyes and let him nip and kiss his way down my stomach. It tickled my chafed skin. My hands tangled themselves back into his hair, pushing him down, down, down.

His thumbs hooked into my tights and he dragged them down my legs, bringing my underwear along with them. Somewhere above my naked body, my consciousness floated about screaming this was wrong, but I couldn’t listen. I couldn’t care. Noah fell to his knees, untying my boots. He dropped his own pants and unbuttoned his shirt before he lay back down with me. His hand teased between my legs as he watched my eyes for reaction.

I pulled him down on top of me, startling him. I ran my fingers as hard as I could down his arms, accomplishing my goal, drawing blood. I licked the curve of his lean bicep and he groaned, jumping as if I shocked him. His fingers explored inside me as the top of his body curled and slumped against my lips. When he came back to life, he pushed up, his arms caging me in as he plunged deep inside of me. I wrapped my legs around his hips, trembling, riding the wave until we both collapsed into an exhausted, blissful heap.

We lay there tangled, saying nothing. Our chests moved in rhythm as we caught our breath.

Noah kissed me again. I shied away from him. As the euphoria of the blood floated away, the guilt rushed in to replace it.

“I shouldn’t have done that.” I pulled away from him and sat up to look for my clothes. My head spun. I tried not to panic.

“It was fantastic.” He stayed on the bed, watching me get dressed. “You did what you needed to do.”

“Don’t tell anyone.” I pleaded as I tied my boots. Everything felt so wrong now.

“Our secret.” He sat up, pulling my head back gently by the hair and kissed me again. I struggled to get away from him the best I could. “Might be too good to keep to myself, lover.”

Chapter Forty Five

It was just sex. I repeated the chant in my brain over and over again to quiet down the ugliness of
what had I done?

There was no spiritual connection like with Tristan. No love like with Blade. It had just felt good. Too good. But for that, I rejoiced.

Noah would never keep his mouth shut about this. I knew it. He had wanted this too badly. He’d hold this over my head like a prize. He won. I’d submitted.

I hated the blood as much as I needed it.

It better help Blade, that’s all I could hope for. I buried my head in my hands in the corner of Lennon’s couch. Blade would be disgusted with me for what I did.

“Are you sure you’re alright, doll?” Lennon sat on the arm of the couch. “I have to head to work.”

“I’m fine.” Lie.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“It was just blood. Nothing more. For Blade.”

“I’m sorry it had to be Noah, but Peter says he’s the strongest one. Funny since he’s so scrawny.”

I shuddered, thinking of the lean lines of his body pressed against mine. “It was awful.” Another lie. It had been wonderful. It was just sex, Callie. My new mantra. You did what you had to do.

“Have fun tonight. I wish I could hang out, but I know three’s a crowd.” She ruffled my hair and headed for the door.

The aroma of flowers drifted from the kitchen. A huge vase of blood red roses perched on the counter to greet me on the way to the coffee maker. I buried my face in the blooms then checked to see who they were for.

See you tonight. XX
I wanted to cry just looking at them.

If Lennon was headed to work, it must be late. I didn’t like the pattern developing of me spending the entire day on the couch after exotic vampire trysts the night before. Alright, I didn’t like wasting the whole day on the couch. I had to try to sleep without those pills tonight. They ate my whole day.

I leaned against the tile of the shower and let the water run down my body. I felt so weak. I’d done too much blood play in the last two days, and going to see Tristan almost guaranteed more. I couldn’t humanly keep up this pace, which scared me the most.

We didn’t have anything planned as far as I knew, but just for my own well being, I wanted to dress up. I needed to ask Lennon about having closet space. I had nowhere else to go for the time being, and everything was getting crumpled in these bags. Lennon would understand why that wasn’t acceptable. I picked another of Tristan’s new tops along with my denim skirt. I didn’t have the strength to feel like kicking ass tonight, so I chose my china doll slippers over my heavy boots.

I followed the sound of the guitar to Tristan’s makeshift studio. He looked surprised to see me, even though he knew we had plans. Maybe time got away from him when he played.

He surprised me when he put the guitar down and stood up to greet me. He had on a pair of worn jeans tucked into his combat boots, and a button down black shirt untucked under a black velvet dress jacket. My heart skipped a beat. He looked amazing.

“Don’t stop playing.” Everything he played on his own was so much nicer than what he did with the band. “I like it.” I went up on my tiptoes to kiss him.

“Thanks, beautiful.”

“Are we going someplace?” I didn’t know if I wanted to go out or not. “You’re all dressed up.”

“Do we need a reason to celebrate?”

“Well, no.” Something was up, I just didn’t know what. How much did Tristan know about what I’d done? Could he sense my guilt? “Thanks for the roses. They’re beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you. Let’s go out and have some fun. I’m dying to just let loose, you know?”

I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of this.

“We’re not going to cause a commotion, are we?”

“I hope so.” His eyes danced. “Just live a little.”

I groaned. “I’m going to regret this.”

He kissed me again before he opened the door to his Viper. “I’m not.”

**

Tristan brought me to a strip club.

My skin burned with anger and I gnashed my teeth together trying so hard to keep my mouth shut.

A burly bouncer who reminded me a lot of Tony brought us to a VIP room. We slid into a semi circle booth with a large round table in front of us. Two iced buckets flanked the table, chilling Venom for us.

“This is going to be so much fun.” Tristan squeezed my thigh.

“Is it?” I reached for the Venom.

“I see you’ve taken a liking to that stuff.” Tristan raised his eyebrows as I topped off both of our glasses. “That shit can kill you.”

“Well, I guess that’s a superpower I’ve developed, thanks to you.”

“Hey then, cheers.” He tipped his glass to mine before downing half of the liquid. His arm settled on my shoulders. “You know what today is, right?”

I had to think about it for a second. “Your birthday.”

“Just because I don’t age anymore doesn’t mean they go away.” He tipped my chin up. “You realize in a couple months you’ll be caught up to me, right?”

I’d never thought of him as not aging. But he was right, he would forever be nineteen. No matter what year it was, no matter how old the rest of us were. It made him something other than what I thought of him as. I could feel my heart tearing as tears filled my eyes.

“I didn’t say it to make you feel bad. I want you to have fun tonight.”

“Then why did you bring me here?” I looked to the middle of the room, where the naked girls snaked around poles and gyrated down the runway. Still others dotted the tables filled with notable patrons, entertaining them with table dances or lap dances.

“Because it’s art. They’re beautiful.” Did he think everyone was beautiful? Two dancers climbed up on our table and started grinding each other to the beat of the music, never taking their eyes off of Tristan. They probably didn’t even realize anyone was with him. “I didn’t think of you as someone who thought sex was bad.”

“I don’t.” I felt my muscles tense at the memory of last night as the brunette girl with the tattoos and massive fake breasts began stripping the blonde, her tongue following the trail of the lingerie she removed.

“Well then relax and enjoy it.” Tristan’s eyes were the size of saucers, watching the show unfold, or should I say undress, in front of us. He looked like a little boy at an arcade. I didn’t want to act like a jealous bitch, but it was hard. I wanted all of his attention. I shared him enough.

I watched him quizzically as he called one of the girls over. She was a pretty girl, with soft wavy blonde hair and a softly voluptuous body to match. Her blue eyes glowed above her peach cheeks as she somehow made her way into his lap. I scooted away so her straddled leg didn’t land on me. She looked too soft, too pretty to be in a sleazy place like this.

Her cleavage bounced just under Tristan’s nose as she listened to him talk. I couldn’t help but stare at it. I couldn’t hear what he said, but she looked past him at me and nodded. Slipping back into her robe, she made her way to my side of the booth and held out her hand. Not knowing what else to do, I took it, and she dragged me out of the booth on to a free standing chair.

My eyes practically popped out of my head. I looked back at Tristan, who looked more wicked than he ever had. The girl started wriggling around the chair, stopping behind me to put her hands on my shoulders.

“I’m Roxy.” She whispered in my ear.

I nodded. I didn’t know what to say in response. I wasn’t going to start a conversation with her. Plus, her name was ridiculous.

“Are you a vampire, too?” She raised her eyebrows hopefully.

“No.”

“Damn. I was hoping you’d suck my blood.”

Roxy moved back to the front of me, dipping down and swirling, opening her robe just slightly, revealing the high swell of her full breasts, then closing it again. She got down on her knees in and crawled in front of me before pulling herself up on to my lap. She grinded her hips against mine as she untied her robe and used it like a rope to pull my face closer to her bare breasts. Once she was done with it, she tossed the satin fabric back on to the table to Tristan. I looked over at him. His eyes were wide and unblinking, desire dancing inside.

I wanted to kill him.

She slid one of her knees between my thighs, still moving in the rhythm of the music. She pushed off against my chair, holding herself up on the table behind her as she snaked her ankles around my shoulders without missing a beat. As the song came to an end, she ducked her head down to mine and kissed me as passionately as my shock would let her.

Tristan stood up and clapped in approval. “Amazing.” He handed her a wad of cash.

I didn’t say anything to either of them as I slid out from underneath Roxy and back to the booth. I didn’t react when I felt Tristan’s arm fall back around my shoulders. I looked straight ahead, watching Roxy as she adjusted her robe and went off to her next conquest.

“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” Tristan’s mouth was right near my ear. He began to suck on my neck.

“I’m glad I could perform for you.”

“Stop being a prude, Callie.” God, if only he knew. “It’s fun. Have fun.”

I downed the rest of my Venom and refilled my glass. “I’m not enough fun for you?”

“You are. I wanted to watch you. I didn’t give a shit about her.”

Suddenly, I felt bad. “Oh. I didn’t think of it that way.”

“That’s the problem. You think too much sometimes.” He kissed me, pushing me back in the booth so I was almost flat on my back. “Just go with it and have fun.”

I scanned the room, nuzzled against Tristan, trying to see the entertainment value in this place. I guess it wasn’t that much different than Embrace in a way. And Tristan was actually having a great time, which he never got to do.

Lost in thought, I watched another blonde swivel and swirl around a table. When the song ended, she left, snapping me back to the reality of staring directly at Noah. He licked his lips when my eyes caught his.

I darted my eyes away as soon as it sunk in who I was looking at, and crawled in to Tristan’s lap. I had my back to the room and to Noah.

“Are you feeling inspired now?” Tristan pulled me in closer and ran his hands along the sides of my stomach.

“Kinda. Can we go?” It wasn’t just that I was hiding from Noah. I needed Tristan. Now. And it wasn’t going to happen in some raunchy strip club.

We made our way out of the booth and headed out of the room at the same time that Noah got up from his booth. I tried to hide behind Tristan’s arm, hoping, praying that somehow he didn’t see us get up.

“Hello, lover.” Noah grabbed my free hand to stop me and purred in my ear. I froze, not knowing what to do.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Tristan bared his teeth as he spoke. That couldn’t be good.

“Just happy to see the muse in action tonight.” Noah ran his finger lightly up my arm. I flinched. “I know how she likes to celebrate.”

“Leave her alone.” Tristan growled.

“Why don’t we let Calliope decide what she wants?” Noah’s voice was impish as ever.

“She sure as shit doesn’t want you.”

“And if she does?”

Noah’s body landed on the floor faster that I could process that Tristan had punched him in the face. He crawled backwards like a crab, gingerly touching his bloodied nose. His eyes burned as he looked up at Tristan and hissed like an animal. Tristan stomped his foot forward, lunging at him again.

“Stop it.” My heart pounded in my ears. “He’s not worth it.”

“He’s not worth the blood wasted on creating him.” Tristan relaxed and slipped his arm back around my waist, still glaring at Noah, who’d made his way back to his feet.

“But the muse is worth the sweet blood that flows through her veins.” Noah called out as security separated him from us. The guards led us to the VIP entrance to wait for the car. They were smart enough to not bring Noah to the same place.

“God, I hate that guy.” The rage hadn’t disappeared from Tristan’s face.

“I do too.” I needed to change the subject fast. “Do you have anything else planned for tonight?”

“I do.” His face brightened. “But you’ll have to wait and see what it is.”

“I don’t know how patient I can be.”

“You’re going to have to work on that.” He pulled away from the club and headed back towards the hotel. He wrinkled his nose. “Ugh. I can still smell Noah on me.”

My heart stopped, wondering if he could smell Noah on
me.

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Starving.” I hadn’t had anything but coffee since the night before.

“Good.”

He led me into the kitchen of his apartment. We never came in here. Tristan didn’t need to eat real food, and it was the last thing on my mind when I visited. I was actually a little surprised to see that he had a fully applianced kitchen with gleaming stainless steel fixtures.

He picked me up swiftly and sat me on the island. My feet swung above the ground like a little kid. He retrieved a familiar looking box wrapped in a purple bow from the refrigerator and hopped up on the island with me.

The box was from The Magnolia Café. My mom’s restaurant. My heart swelled in my chest just looking at it.

Inside the box were six cupcakes. Chocolate with cream cheese frosting, Lemon, Orange, Mint Chocolate Chip, Red Velvet, and of course, Birthday Cake. I knew them all without having to investigate. My hands automatically twined together at my chest.

Tristan picked up the birthday cake cupcake and handed it to me. “I thought you might like a little taste of home.”

“I can’t believe you did this.” I looked at the cupcake in disbelief. “I love it.”

But it made me sad, too. I missed my family so much. They would never understand why I’d chosen this over them.

Maybe I would never understand it myself.

“I knew you would.”

“How did you get these?”

“I had someone call and order them. I’d love to tell you I did it myself, but the restaurant is closed by the time I get up for the day and your mother would’ve hung up the minute she heard my voice.” He laughed.

I peeled the paper away from the birthday cake cupcake and broke the bottom of the cake away from the frosted top, just like I always did. I groaned as the sugary sweetness melted against my tongue. Tristan watched my delight.