Becoming Forever (Waking Forever Series) (36 page)

Emma sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know at what point you decided you held this authority over me.” Her tone was serious as sadness filled her eyes. “I will always be grateful for what you have done for me. Especially those first few years, but I don’t owe you the benefit of my good judgment and conscience indefinitely.”

Coleen’s harsh expression softened, and she patted the cushion next to her. “Please sit with me.” Emma hesitated for a moment, and then sat down, the two women’s thighs touching. “I only think of what’s best for you.”

Emma looked at her friend incredulously. Coleen
narrowed her eyes. “I grant you - what’s best for me too, but nothing good can come of Ash knowing. Of you loving her only to watch her age, suffer with sickness and die.” Coleen took Emma’s hand in hers. “So if you believe she will keep our secret, I was wrong not to trust your judgment, but Em - I can’t stomach your suffering if you don’t turn her, and then lose her.”

In that moment, in measurable increments, Emma felt the hope she had clung to slip away. She knew what Coleen said was true. She had pushed the reality of her and Ash’s situation to the back of her mind, and convinced herself
the few years she and Ash would have together would be enough. She had imagined the hole her death would leave would be insignificant in comparison to the love.

A single blood tinged tear rolled down Emma’s cheek. Coleen wiped at it with the tip of her finger. “
Turn her, Em.”

Shaking her head, Emma got up and stood with her back to Coleen. “I couldn’t. She doesn’t deserve this.”

“Is
this
so bad?” Coleen asked.

“I can’t imagine she would want this, and I could never force it on her.” Emma remembered her own death, and how the n
otion of choice was nonexistent. “I’ve never begrudged Lewis his decision. I wasn’t ready to die. But even broaching the subject with Ash could cause her to feel obligated, and make a decision based on what she believes I want, and not what is truly in her heart.”

“Does she love you?” Coleen asked the question as if she were asking the time.

“I - I don’t know.” She didn’t know. They had been together once, and then only partially, with Emma’s secrets wedged between them. The turmoil of the past week had no doubt left Ash feeling vulnerable, and whatever feelings or affections she may have for Emma were more than likely artificially amplified.

Coleen got up and gently rubbed Emma’s back
, her voice soothing. “Step away from it then. Focus on Lara, and killing her. Once that’s done, then turn your attentions back to Ash.”

Emma tisked at Coleen. “You’re not subtle.”

Coleen shrugged. “Why bother?”

Taking a deep breath, Emma could feel the uncertainty of the fu
ture filling her up. It felt coarse and dry inside her heart and her head. She needed time to consider what was best for Ash and her. These feelings were new to Emma, and she didn’t know what she could bear. In the meantime, she would hunt down and kill Lara.

***

“Are you coming over?” Ash yawned into the phone, her neck stiff from falling asleep on her sofa.

Emma couldn’t help but smile having clearly woken the
other woman from a nap. “I need to go into the office for a while, but I may be able to swing by after.” She paused, not wanting to commit to a visit she knew wasn’t part of her plan to give both her and Ash space. “It might be too late.”

There was a long pause. “Are you upset with me?” Ash hated that she had asked the question. It made her sound insecure and needy.

“Not at all.” Emma hated that her vagueness was clearly causing Ash to feel insecure. “I think a good night’s sleep may be in order for you is all.”

Ash wanted to sleep with Emma. She wanted the feel of her arms around her, and the security of knowing the woman was nearby. These feelings were foreign
to Ash. Though she didn’t shy away from sleepovers and displays of affections, she had never felt the need to be near another person as acutely as she did Emma. “You’re probably right.” Her courage failed her, and she took the safer, less vulnerable route. “Good night then.”

Emma closed her eyes, her hand tightening around the phone. “Good
night.” She hit the end button on her phone, and laid it down on her desk. She was sitting in her study, and for the first time in a hundred and sixty years, she felt exhausted. The simple act of
not
seeing Ash had left her feeling drained and sluggish. She wondered if the sacrifice - and its possible benefits - was worth the cost.

Chapter 17

Rudy’
s Last Call was a small, dimly lighted bar that sat a few blocks off of a major expressway in north central San Antonio. The walls were covered in wood paneling, and the dark green carpet smelled of stale beer. As Emma walked in, she made a point not to breathe.

Inquiries were being made regarding Richard Dorsey’s disappearance, and Emma had taken the opportunity to discover where the lycan had spen
t his off hours. Given a lycan’s natural tendency toward bravado, she hoped the man had bragged about his partnership with Ela, and perhaps whatever dealings he may have had with Lara.

“What’ll you have?” The overweight Hispanic man behind the bar was wearing a brown t-shirt stretched tightly over his large belly. Faded pine trees were stenciled on the shirt, and below them the phrase
I’ve Got Wood
. He wiped his hands with a stained bar towel as he looked Emma up and down.

“
A Shiner Bock, please.” She slid onto the worn wooden bar stool, glad she had taken the time to change after work into a pair of faded jeans, and a black pintuck style blouse. She already felt conspicuous, and arriving in the Gucci suit she had on earlier would have only made her awkwardness more evident.

The heavy set bartend
er slid the bottle of beer across the bar to Emma. “Tab?”

Emma smiled. “I’ll pay as I go.” She had left her purse at home, and reached into her back pocket an
d retrieved a thin bi-fold leather wallet and then a five dollar bill. “Keep the change.” The last thing she wanted was anyone, the bartender or a patron, to know her name.

Scanning the room, Emma took a drink of her beer. The Bock was thinner than its German counterparts, and not as sweet. On her second
scan of the room, she saw a tall, broad shouldered man sitting in a tattered booth in the corner. His brown hair was trimmed short, and his hands were disproportionally large for his arms. He had four empty bottles of Corona beer in front of him, and was over half way through his fifth.

Tilting her head slightly to the right, Emma took a de
ep breath in through her nose. She cringed as she sifted through the layers of stench, ranging from dried vomit to stagnant urine, but her suspicions were confirmed. The man in the corner smelled of rotted meat and mildew. He was a lycan, and given his posture and the occasional greetings given him by other patrons, he clearly frequented the bar.

She knew the odds that
Dorsey and this man didn’t know each other were slim. Lycans were, by their nature, pack animals, and though modern day living arrangements had made that less viable, they still managed to find each other. Picking up her bottle of beer, Emma walked toward the man.

“Hey, I was just going to get you another one of those.” A middle age Caucasian man with overly long sideburns stepped in front of Emma. He was wearing a pair of tan khaki pants, brown boots, and a wrinkled blue dress shirt.

Managing a smile, Emma leaned away from the man who insisted on stepping into her personal space. “Thank you, but I’m hardly through my first.” She attempted to step around the drunk man, but he side stepped in front of her.

“Doesn’t hurt to get a head start.” He leaned forward, and even though Emma wasn’t breathing, she imagined he reeked of cheap liquor.

“Oh, gosh, I don’t know. I should take it easy.” She looked at the beer bottle in her hand. “I’m a bit of a light weight.” She wrinkled her nose teasingly, and made a move to walk around the man.

“Don’t be like that.” The man went to grab Emma’s forearm, but she easily stepped away to avoid contact.

Emma leveled her gaze at the inebriated man. “We’re done here.” Her voice was low and menacing.

The man’s eyes widened, and he took a step back. “Fine. I was just being - being - gentlemanly.” He rubbed the top of his head, and stumbled over to the bar.

Emma looked up, and the lycan was gone. Five empty Corona bottles and a twenty dollar bill sat on the table. She caught movement out of the corner of her eye, and the smell of mildew. The lycan had walked out of the bar, and Emma quickly followed.

“Excuse me
, sir.” Emma raised her voice just enough to be heard over the noise of the nearby expressway as the lycan walked around to the side of the bar.

The nearly 6’5” man turned his head slowly, and his eyes widened when he saw Emma. “Well, hi. Do we know each other?” A broad smile spread across his face.

Emma estimated she had maybe ten seconds before the man caught her scent and knew what she was. Whereas the odds of him making a scene in the bar had been low, he more than likely would have no such hesitation in a deserted parking lot.

Scanning the
parking lot, Emma saw a dumpster sitting directly behind the lycan. There was a gap of nearly five feet between the container and the cinder block wall behind it. In a single lunge that would have been invisible to the human eye, Emma closed the space between her and the lycan. Digging her nails into the man’s shoulders, she picked him up off the ground, and propelled him toward the back of the dumpster.

Slamming the man onto his back with such force the concrete cracked around his head and shoulders, Emma straddled him at the thighs. Balling her fists up, she struck the lycan once, then twice in the chest. The sound of his sternum cracking was drowned out by the highway noise. Emma dug her elbow into the
front of the man’s throat, and grabbed a handful of his hair.

“
Do you know a vampire named Ela?” Her voice was low and guttural. Snarling at the man, Emma’s incisors fully extended, and her eyes shone a vivid, iridescent blue.

A series of coughs rac
ked the man’s body, and he spat up blood before he could speak. “Fuck you.”

Emma tightened her grip on the man’s hair, and ripped a handful of dark brown hair from the scalp. The lycan clenched his teeth, and
she felt his thighs expanding under her. “Don’t you dare shift. I will snap your neck before you have time to sprout a single hair.” She pushed her elbow further into the man’s throat.

“You’re dead, dead!” The lycan spat and scratched at Emma, his nails unable to break her skin.

Emma leaned back, took the man’s head in her hands, and slammed it into the concrete three times. Blood covered the ground and Emma’s hands as she wrapped them around the lycan’s throat. “Last time. Do you know a vampire named Ela? Or she may have gone by Michelle.” Emma was growing tired of this. She loathed these brute force tactics, but in her experience it was the only means a lycan understood.

“I - I don’t kn-” The lycan spoke through clenched jaws, the rows of teeth multiplying in his mouth.

Emma took a deep breath, and leaned down, her lips only an inch from the man’s right ear. “I will end you. First I will sever the mandibular from the os temporale. That effectively unhinges your jaw.” She turned the lycan’s head so their eyes met. “Then I will reach in and rip out your genioglossus, liberating your tongue from the bone.”

“Go fuck yourself
, bitch!” The man spat at Emma.

Sitting up, Emma slowly wiped the blood tinted spit from her cheek, and in a
split second, reached into the lycan’s mouth. Taking his tongue between her thumb and forefinger, she pulled the muscle just to the breaking point. “Think about this carefully now. For your sake, try to make a good decision.” The lycan clamped his jaw down in an effort to sever Emma’s hand at the wrist, but it was like biting into stone as the skin and bone were unyielding.

Th
e lycan’s red eyes widened, the pain causing tears to stream from their corners. Emma grinned and wiped at the man’s face. “Shhh, it’s okay. I just need some information, and then you’ll be on your way.” She removed her hand from the lycan’s mouth.

The man’s voice was strangled with fear.
“A lycan named Dorsey was taking hits from her, or at least he was promised some if he took care of a few things for her first.”

“Where was she staying?” Emma softened her voice, relieved the lycan was cooperating.

“Some hotel downtown, but the drops were happening north of the city. Some abandoned plant or something.” The man was shaking. “That’s all I know. He didn’t tell me much. He was worried he would have to share.”

Emma nodded. “Thank you.” In the blink of an eye, she was up and off the lycan. Th
e man lay stunned while Emma put nearly a quarter mile between her and what she considered unseemly business.

***

Coleen had convinced Emma to go out with her. She had not enjoyed her bullying of the lycan earlier in the evening, and all she had really wanted was a quiet night in. The two women sat in an intimate corner of the Brooklynite. With the antique appointments reminiscent of a prohibition speakeasy, the dimly lit venue was known for both its discretion and eclectic liquor selection.