Becoming Jinn (19 page)

Henry dives back into the pool, rocking my plastic boat as he swims underneath me.

He pokes his head above the water and, with a Cheshire cat grin, says, “Leprechauns?”

“Nope.” I inch away from the water dripping off his unruly mop as he rests his forearms on the side of my raft.

“Mermaids?”

“Please.”

He groans. “Don't tell me vampires exist.”

“Not as far as I know. But what's wrong with vampires?”

Henry squints and issues a decent brooding stare. “They're leeches. I'll never understand what you girls see in them.” He widens his eyes. “Wait, you are a girl, aren't you?”

“A Jinn girl.”

“Which means?”

“Same but not. Different species.”

“Really?” He shakes his head and chlorinated water flies at my nose. “Like snakes or baboons? Wild.”

Laughing, I shove him off my boat with so much force I end up capsizing myself.

Henry's string of questions is so long, I'm convinced he spent all morning preparing them. No one could have this many questions about magical creatures off the top of their head. He thinks being Jinn means I'm plugged into some supernatural hot line.

As I flutter kick my way to the stairs, I realize the high I'm riding must be at least partially due to the effects of invoking the circulus with Lisa. I didn't recognize it at first because I didn't feel much (aside from panic) after granting Zoe's wish. But the pureness of Lisa's spirit has made me all giggly. Me and giggly are usually more oil and water than chocolate and peanut butter.

Enveloping myself in a beach towel, I place another one over Lisa, who's fallen asleep, tired out from us double-teaming Henry all afternoon. Not wanting to wake her, I sit in a chair at the opposite end of the pool. The jig is up about my birthday night makeover so I go ahead and pull out my ponytail holder and use my dark purple nails to untangle the knots in my long hair.

Leaving his own trail of wet footprints on the decking next to mine, Henry plops down across from me. “I knew there was something different about you that night.”

Just like a boy to focus on a girl's looks.

“You exuded this … this confidence,” he says.

Just like Henry to not be a normal boy. He's so honest it scares me a little—and not because I think he'd out me. Because my entire life has been one of deception. Being open feels wrong. How's that for a warped lesson to have learned?

“I should probably go,” I say even though it's the last thing I want to do. Going home, thinking about what I have to do at home, erases the joy of Lisa's residual anima.

I've told Henry enough to satisfy him for now. Though he probably won't get the chance to find out more. I have no idea if my mother can fix this, but if she can and does, I'm pretty sure that'll mean I'll lose another Carwyn because of being Jinn.

“Wait, not yet.” Henry gestures toward his sleeping sister. “Should I be worried about her? I know you said most genie lore is pure myth, but she's not going to wake up without her vocal cords or something, is she?”

I cock my head. “I'm not following.”

“You know, like in the movies. One of those genie tricks. Like a girl gets her wish to be stick thin but the cost is puking her guts out every morning.”

I'd laugh but Henry's too worried. “No, she'll be fine.” To reassure him, I add, “I promise, no tricks with this one, even though a lot of the myths do seem to have a kernel of truth in them. Like my mom thinks the whole idea of wishes coming with strings attached is because our magic has its limits. A lazy or an untalented or even a mischievous Jinn might go the literal route. Way back when, people knew they had a wish granted. We didn't have to make them forget like we do now. If they spilled the beans, the wish was reversed.”

Henry relaxes back into his chair. “So if someone's wish wasn't granted the way they wanted, it probably seemed like the wish came with a cost.”

I nod. “That's not an issue anymore since wishees don't remember the experience. The hardest part now is covering our tracks and making sure the wish is believable to them and to everyone else. Like with Zoe. She wanted to be tall, but if I left her bumping the ceiling, she'd—”

“Totally go viral.”

“Be dissected by your human doctors.”

“Military.”

This time, I do laugh. A little. “Either way, it'd raise suspicion.”

“Viral.” Henry slaps his leg. “Damn. Can you imagine if we could put this on the Internet? Make a documentary? Real-life paranormal? We'd be rich.”

My heart leaps to my throat. “You can't. What I said about the Afrit wasn't an exaggeration.” Though I kept the specifics vague, I had to tell Henry the consequences of him not keeping my secret. “If you hint to anyone, even your mom or dad—”

Henry grabs both of my hands and looks at me with such intensity, I break out in goose bumps.

“It was only a stupid joke, I swear, Azra. I swear on—”

“It's okay.” I don't want him swearing on anyone's life again. “It's only jail.” Granted, if my mom isn't exaggerating, it's a perverse, living nightmare kind of jail, but Henry doesn't need to know that.

He squeezes his eyes shut as he shakes his head. “No, it's not okay. You're trusting me with all this. With … with your life.”

But only for today. A rush of sadness and guilt overwhelms me. Henry must mistake this for fear because he clenches my hands so hard, my bones feel as though they might break.

“And if they found out, you'd be taken away. From … all of us. For good.” He gently touches my silver bangle. “I'd never let that happen, Azra.”

Henry's honesty is never more on display than in his light green eyes. One look, and I'm positive nothing has ever been more true.

“Thank you, Henry,” I say. “For today. It's been a long time since … well, since I've had a day like today.”

A cloud comes over his eyes. “Did you tell her? Did you ever tell Jenny?”

It's all I can do to shake my head no.

Our awkward silence is interrupted by Lisa, who barrels into me and hugs my legs. I'm momentarily panicked, thinking the cloaking enchantment didn't work. But it did. To Lisa, I'm just the girl from across the street who gave her french fries.

The gratitude in Henry's smile guts me. To him, I'm the girl from across the street, the best friend to the sister he lost, and the genie who helped the sister he clings to and puts before everything, including himself.

I should … I will … I am going to confess to my mother.

But not today.

 

18

Deeper. I should have dug deeper. That's what my mother has to say in response to my (abridged) report on how I (more or less) successfully granted Zoe's wish.

She paces the living room in front of our bookshelf as I fidget on the couch. “Did you feel her emotions? Like you did with Mrs. Pucher?”

“No, not with Zoe,” I admit. I then force myself to add, “But I did with Lisa. A little, I think.”

She freezes. “What?”

Words tumble out of my mouth. “It just happened, Mom, I swear. I didn't plan it. I know it was wrong. One minute Lisa was stuttering and … have you heard her stutter?”

She places her hand on her chest and nods slowly. “Elyse mentioned it too. And that this past school year was particularly difficult for her. Though she had been making some strides since she started seeing a speech therapist.”

“Then it's a good thing, right?” I pause to take a breath. “Wait until you hear her. Even Henry said—”

Her jaw drops. “Henry was there?”

Perfect opening. I should tell her. Now.

“Yes.” Her face is a beet with eyes. “I mean, not
there
there.”

I will tell her. Tomorrow.

“He ran to the store and asked if I'd watch her. Anyway, the point is, I'm pretty sure I did better with Lisa.” It's only as I say this that I realize I did actually do much better with Lisa. I smile. “Guess third time's the charm and all is true.”

Unlike this convoluted story.

I am going to confess. I just need to prepare Henry first.

“And don't worry. I was able to do the ritual quickly, way before he got back.”

She crosses her arms in front of her chest. “Well, I should hope you could do it quickly. Lisa's only six. I'm sure it couldn't have been difficult to get into her psyche.”

Ouch.

“You know you should have asked me first?”

I nod and apologize again.

She sighs. “Well, if the worst thing is that Elyse gets a wonderful surprise and the speech therapist gets a big bonus, then no harm done.” She starts pacing again. “As for Zoe, I'm worried you didn't fully connect with her. Maybe because you didn't try hard enough. Are you still blocking yourself, Azra? You can't do that once you receive your assignments. Did Hana explain…”

Her silk slippers barely make a sound as she paces back and forth in front of me, but each silent footfall still judges me. She's talking and pivoting and talking and pivoting and finally I succumb to everything that's happened today. Tears creep into my eyes. I look away, but not fast enough.

“Oh, honey.” My mother's feet stop, and her body is instantly at my side. “I'm … I'm being too hard on you. I'm sorry, kiddo. I'm just worried. But the purpose of all this is so you can learn. So I can teach you. I was expecting…”

I know what she was expecting. She was expecting me to be her.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing.” She strokes my upper arm. “It was sweet. What you did for Lisa. Jenny would have been so proud.”

That's it. The levee holding back my tears breaks.

My mother wipes my damp cheeks with the edge of her thumb. “All I'm trying to do is to help you to realize there was probably a reason why Zoe wanted to be tall.”

“There was.” I suck back the moisture clogging my nostrils. “She wanted to be a better basketball player.”

My mother nods gently. “Sure, but why?”

“Because her brother is.”

“Warm.” She smiles and rolls her hand. “And so…”

“It'd make him happy.”

“Warmer. But what else?”

“It'd make her happy.”

My mother wraps her arms around herself and exaggerates a shiver.

Her trying to make this easier for me is only making it—all of it—harder. Eyes down, I pick lint off the couch. “I don't know what you want me to say.”

“Here,” she says, patiently, “think about it this way. Zoe wanted to be tall to be a better basketball player, but I'll bet you the last piece of ice cream cake that it goes deeper than that. Maybe she only wants to be a star basketball player because she feels insecure, especially compared to her brother. Maybe she thinks she doesn't live up to his or even her parents' expectations.”

Something I happen to know a little bit about.

Moving closer, she sweeps my hair off my face. “That's what you should have strived to uncover. If she was insecure or had low self-esteem, you could have helped. The changes you might have made would go way beyond basketball. It's not enough to simply recite the circulus. All that does is provide the link; you're the one who controls how deep you go. And you have to go all the way, no matter how hard it may be. That's what you'll be expected to do when you have official candidates.” She forces me to meet her eyes. “Humans are rarely attuned to the things they really want. And most of the time, what they want isn't actually what they need. It's your job to figure that out.”

“But why? Why do we bother helping them?”

“Because we can. And because we have to. You know the deal. Our powers only continue so long as we use at least a portion of them for the greater good.”

“So we stop granting wishes, stop helping the humans, and our magic disappears? What's so bad about that?”

And how fast can that happen, anyway? Can I bribe someone so it's fast enough that no one ever has to know about Henry?

“What's so bad about that is eventually we disappear too. The Jinn will cease to exist.”

I snort. “A little dramatic, Mom.”

“If only it were.” She raises her eyebrows. “You know we can't have children with humans?” Without waiting for an answer, she continues, “Well, nature also made sure our powers are entwined with our ability to bear children with Jinn. Once we stop using our powers to grant wishes, our magic will fade, and eventually that'll be it. We'll be gone.”

“Nice blackmail.”

“More like insurance.”

This really is some messed up species. “But with Zoe? How can you be so sure that wasn't her real wish? Frankly, I'm not sure she goes all that deep.”

“Experience.” She pushes herself off the couch. “Which you'll learn. But only if you open yourself up to all this. Otherwise, you'll never do this to the full extent of your abilities.” She starts walking backward toward the kitchen. “Now about that bet. Since we'll never truly know which one of us is right about Zoe…”

As soon as her hand hits the freezer door, I app right next to her. And so we sit at the kitchen table with two spoons and the last piece of cake still in its box. I'm a living cliché, having my cake and eating it too. Because Henry knows, my mother doesn't, and I'm not in a subterranean jail cell. I just wish I could pass on the topping of guilt.

Letting the ice cream on my spoon melt, I say, “How can you be so sure my abilities have a fuller extent?”

“You're my daughter, for one.” She winks. “And because I saw what you were able to do with Mrs. Pucher. That's what you're going for, Azra. It means you're accessing your strongest powers. The more closed off you are, the less magic you can access. The more open, the more content, the more—”