Beginnings (18 page)

I put my foot down at nail polish but somehow she convinced me to let her apply a clear coat.

The dress she chose for me fit my body perfectly. It was a black nineteen-sixties style sundress. It was a couple inches higher than my knees, but my favorite part was how it scooped down in the back just above my bottom, revealing my entire backside. Haley tried to get me to wear heels until I showed her how I walked in them – I'd never seen her laugh that hard. We decided on a pair of black ballet flats instead.

“Here,” she handed me underwear that only had a string where the butt should be. Now it was my turn to laugh.

“No way.”

“I can see the outline of your undies. Besides, guys go crazy for them.”

“I'm not going to sleep with him!”

“How do you know? What if you both come here afterward and he kisses you and then things just progress?”

“I'm not sure he thinks about that with me.”

“Trust me, he's a guy, they always think about it. Plus, I've seen the way he looks at you. If you want it he'll be ready.”

“Damn you Haley,” I grabbed the undies and put them on.

By a quarter to six I was done. I went to sit on the bed but Haley pulled me back up.

“You have to stand until he gets here.”

“I'm too exhausted to stand.”

“As soon as you see Adam you'll be wired.”

She was right. When the doorbell rang my stomach plummeted and my heart threatened to beat out of my chest.

“Let me walk out behind you. I want to see his face,” Haley was hyped up. “Anna, he's going to lose his mind when he sees you!”

I took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping into the hallway. Jeremy and Adam were talking and turned when they heard me coming. Both of their mouths dropped open. I walked in front of Adam trying my best to act relaxed instead of a nervous wreck.

“Hi,” I said, surprisingly calm.

“You look...wow,” he ran a hand through his hair. His eyes stayed glued to me and I wanted to do a little dance of excitement.

Jeremy came up to me so he could whisper in my ear, “You go easy on the poor boy. He's hyperventilating over there. Couldn't you have picked a dress a little less sexy? The poor kid is dying.”

“Shall we?” I asked.

All he could do was nod. Haley was practically hugging herself with joy. I led the way outside. I was at the stairs when I felt Adam stop in the doorway.

“Holy shit,” Adam uttered under his breath, and I knew he had seen the back. I was glad he couldn’t see my face and the enjoyment I was having from seeing the effect I had on him. I kept walking and was past the stairs before I heard him come down. He sped up to walk with me.

“Are you trying to kill me?” He opened the door for me to get in. I couldn't stop smiling. The tedious hours spent getting ready were more than worth it.

“I just wanted you to want me.”
Why did I just say that?
Adam put his arms up and blocked me against the car, his face inches from mine.

“Trust me, that has never been the problem.” His eyes were so intense I stopped breathing.
My
Adam had never looked at me like that and it was hot,
really
hot.
Is he going to kiss me?
My heart continued to hammer away. I was too nervous so I slid down to sit in the car seat.
Chicken.
He shut the door and came around to the other side.

“I'm dying for a steak. You cool with that?” He asked, starting the engine.

“I love steak.”

He shot me a megawatt smile, “I know.”

I had never been more attracted to him. He looked laid back tonight, so carefree.

I remembered the question I wanted to ask him. It had been in the back of my mind all day, “I'm not sure how to say this, so I'm just going to let it out.” I looked down at my fidgeting hands, “I won't be the other woman. When you asked me out this morning I was too stunned to really think, but after tonight no more dates until you no longer have a girlfriend, and I definitely won't be kissing you until then.”

“I broke-up with her after I left your place this morning. That was one of the things I needed to take care of today.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

I couldn't contain my happiness. I sat up to access him better and kissed his cheek. He almost swerved off the road.

“Sorry.”

He rubbed his palms on the steering wheel, “It's okay. You just took me by surprise.” Now his palms were circling around the wheel. He looked like he was trying to calm himself. “You have really soft lips.”

I put my hand to my lips, hiding my smile. I guessed they were soft, but weren't all lips?

We arrived at the steakhouse and the hostess brought us to our seats. We had an intimate table for two next to the fireplace.

“I've never been here. It's so nice,” I scanned everywhere. It was very romantic; rich woods, and low lighting.

“I wanted our first date to be special.”

The waiter came over and told us the specials. Adam ordered us a crab appetizer to start. “I already know what our second date will be.”

“You think there will be more than one?” I wanted to tease him but my voice had hopefulness to it.

He flashed me another dazzling smile, and I completely melted.

“There will be thousands.” He looked happy; it was radiating from him. I was basking in this moment. He looked different, not
my
Adam or the new one I'd grown to love; this was a whole new side of him. “Do you know what steak you want?”

“Not yet.”

“I want to order us the special. Did that sound good to you?”

“The fifty-two dry aged one?” That was a fortune. There was no way I could afford that.

“Yeah.”

“No, that's okay.”

“Why not? I bet it's the best steak we will ever have.”

“Didn't sound that appealing to me.”

“Why are you really saying no?”

I didn't know how to tell him I couldn't afford it without him feeling bad and offering to pay for it. “I only brought so much cash with me.”

“You think I'm going to let you pay for your steak? I asked you out,” he gaped at me.

“It's not nineteen-fifty, we are equals. I can buy my own dinner.”

“I wanted to buy you dinner,” he looked disappointed. “Please, I don't think you realize how much this means to me that I'm able to take you out for dinner. I can't let you say no.”

There was something about the way he said it that gave me the chills. He was so sincere, so intent. He really did want to buy me dinner, not because he should, but because he truly wanted to. For whatever reason, it meant a lot to him.

“Okay,” I smiled.

“Okay? As in I-can-buy-you-dinner-and-a-totally-awesome-steak okay?” He raised an eyebrow, cautious of my reaction.

“Yup,” I answered confidently.

He beamed back at me, “Good, for a minute there I wasn’t sure if you'd let me. You can be the most stubborn person.”

“You have no idea,” I joked.

“I'm pretty sure I do,” he winked.

The appetizer came and Adam gave him our order. He took a bite and his eyes rolled back as he slid down his chair. I giggled at his dramatics.

“I don't know what was more amazing,” he started as he sat back up, “Seeing you in that dress, or that bite. Both blew my mind.” He took another bite and slammed his fist on the table. “I'm getting some of this to bring home for tonight! Wow!” I'd never seen anyone enjoy their food so much. He savored every bite. When he started in on the steak I thought he would explode. “We are doing this once a month at least!”

I didn't think I could have so much fun watching someone eat. He was hilarious, he got so into his food. My cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

“Can I get you two a dessert?” The waiter asked after we had finished off every little crumb from our plates. Adam nodded in excitement.

“I can't decide,” he said glancing over the dessert menu. “Want to try them all?”

I laughed, “I think I want to marry you for saying that. I can never decide.”

“Don't worry, we'll do that too.” He turned back to the waiter, “One of each, please.”

I just kept staring at him, he was so different. I was enjoying every second with him. This was one of the best nights of my life. The desserts were amazing, but what made it better was being with Adam so happy and carefree. I forgot about my past with him, I was living in the moment with this incredibly adorable man in front of me.

He patted his belly and let out a satisfied sigh, “I'm glad you could keep up with me.”

“That was delicious. Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure. I have to tell you how sexy you look tonight. I can't take my eyes off you.”

I blushed and he got up for us to leave.

He was quiet the whole ride home, and his body had tensed up.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I'm fine.”

I knew he wasn't, he looked stressed about something.

When we reached my place he turned off his car and sat there staring out the front window.
What is going on in that head of his? Why does he have to go and ruin a perfect evening by shutting down on me?

“Thanks for dinner, Adam.”

I opened the car and stepped out. I was going to start crying any minute.
Why does he always close up on me?
I shut the door and started to go upstairs but stopped. I opened the door and got back in.

“I just had one of the best nights of my life, and you’re sitting here ignoring me.”

He laid his forehead on the steering wheel and clutched the sides.

“I'm sorry. I've never been so nervous in my life. My heart's racing, my palms are sweating, I'm freaking out. I didn't think I could be this nervous around you – It's you!” He looked up at me and closed his eyes, “It's killing me being this close to you and not touching you. I can't believe I'm here with you.” He opened his eyes. They were so consumed with desire that I couldn't move. “I love you, Annie.”

Oh my god, did he just call me Annie?
Everything started to spin.

“You remember?” I whispered, tears stinging my eyes.

“Yes,” his voice carried a thousand different emotions in it.

“When?” I tried swallowing but a lump had formed in my throat.

He remembers
.

I needed air. I stumbled out of the car and went up to the apartment. The place was dark when I entered and I set my purse down on the couch. The door clicked shut behind me.

“Annie,” Adam's voice was strong and sure, willing me to look at him, but I couldn't. The world seemed to stop with the sound of my name.

He remembers
.

I put my hand to my chest. I understood what he meant, it was too much. I was overcome with emotion. I tried inhaling but the air stuck to my lungs. I slowly turned around.

“When?” The words barely escaped the back of my throat.

His body remained completely still, “Last night.”

“At the party?”

“No, after I brought you home. I was watching you sleep and I noticed the picture you had when you were a kid next to a sandcastle. I went over to your nightstand to get a better look. It stirred something inside of me. I picked it up and ran my hands over your face wondering why you had a picture of yourself, and then I remembered. Just like that.”

“And you didn't wake me?”

“I didn't want our first encounter together to be with you drunk. I stayed all night watching you sleep. I missed you so much. I reached over a hundred times to touch you, but I couldn't. I knew once I started I would never stop. I wanted to tell you this morning, but I was scared. So, then I asked you to dinner to prepare myself. Do you have any idea what seeing you in that dress has done to me?” He ran his fingers down his face and circled them around his neck letting a puff of air out. “I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life. Feeling your lips on my cheek in the car burned my skin and sent fire through my entire body. Before I could touch you I wanted to have dinner with you. I know that doesn't make sense.”

It all became clear. This morning I had noticed he was different. I could see it in his eyes.

“I should have known it was you at dinner, the way you enjoyed your meal. That's how I always pictured you to react to food.” I was smiling at him now.

“It's just you and me again, Annie.” Adam gave me the same smile he used to give me countless times before. My smile. My Adam.
My Adam,
and I ran to him.

Chapter 23

Adam wrapped his arms around my waist and I clung to his neck not sure if I would ever let go. His face became buried in my hair, taking long, deep breaths.

“Annie,” it came out full of emotion and longing, his breath warm on my skin. We held each other for a long time, neither one of us wanting to let go. Tears began to slowly fall. Adam started to graze his hands up my sides, sending chills through my body. I dropped my arms as they moved up to cup my face, wiping away my tears with his thumbs.

“Don't cry, Annie,” but I could see the tears forming in his eyes too. I watched as he looked down at my lips, his thumb brushed over them and my heartbeat quickened. My desire for him was making me light-headed. His eyes traveled back up to my eyes and his breathing stopped when he stared at me. I knew he was craving me just as much.

My eyes bore into his, hoping he could sense my need for him. His mouth crashed against mine and I parted my lips so our tongues could meet. Kissing Adam was better than I had imagined. It was soft and gentle, but also urgent and demanding. The combination sent a heat between my thighs I had never felt before. His right hand ran down my back, pulling me closer to him as my arms found their way around his neck, pressing my body to his. My fingers dug into his hair as our kiss deepened.

Adam's left hand trailed up my arm, leaving behind a path of goose bumps as he stepped his leg closer into mine and I slowly walked backwards with him.

I moved my lips, trailing kisses along his jaw until I reached his ear and I let my mouth speak into it, “I need you. All of you.”

I didn't care if I was being too forward, I'd been waiting too long for this moment and his kisses were driving me insane. Adam began trailing a hand up my thigh and let out a groan when he felt my bare bottom. I pulled him tighter to me and he slid his hand up the other side to lift me up so my legs were wrapped around him. His face was buried in my neck again, this time using his lips and tongue against my skin.

“I want you so bad, Annie.”

Our lips found each other again but this time a new hunger had taken over. My back slammed against the wall as he pushed himself further against me. I could feel how hard he was and that only fueled my longing even more. His hand reached up for my breasts and I whimpered, which made him grind harder against me. Adam's hand searched for the door knob and led me into my room. He slowly lowered me down to the ground, never breaking contact. His breathing got heavier as my hands grazed his stomach pulling off his shirt. Adam's hands started to remove the straps to my dress and I unzipped his pants. We both stepped out of our clothing.

He lifted me onto the bed, resting so he was on top of me, “You’re so beautiful.”

His words made me smile.

His lips were on mine again as our hands roamed all over each other. He stopped to look at me, resting his elbows on either side of my head, our breathing heavy, “I want you Annie, but I need to make sure you're ready.”

“Yes, I'm sure Adam,” my voice was quiet but full of passion.

We clung tighter to each other as he entered me. I let out a soft cry of pain.

“Are you okay?” He sounded so concerned and it made me love him even more. I raised my hips up to pull him deeper in.

We started off slow, letting my body adjust. He moved his hands into my hair and put his face back into the curve of my neck.

“I can't get close enough to you,” Adam's voice sounded full of love that I felt myself completely surrender to him. My hands dug into his shoulder blades as he began to pick up speed. The burning was fading and a new sensation took over.

“Adam!” I cried out, moving so he went deeper and my body started meeting his, thrust for thrust. I cried out his name again as it built up inside me until I couldn't take it anymore and I exploded, feeling Adam come with me. He laid on top of me while our breathing slowed down, our foreheads together, his hands still knotted in my hair.

“I love you, Annie.”

He rolled to his side and pulled me onto him, letting my head rest against his chest. His hand absentmindedly stroked my back. I couldn't stop smiling. Every time I heard his heart beat I clung tighter to him. I didn't want this night to end. I was afraid it was all a dream.

“I'm not going anywhere, Annie. I'm here. Now. Always.”

How does he always know the right words to comfort me?

I lifted my head up to look at him, “I love you so much.”

Tears came rolling down but I didn't try to stop them. Adam moved so he was back on top of me.

“I never thought I could feel this happy,” he softly kissed my lips as he spoke, “this alive,” and he was inside me again. I clung to him as I let this new sensation take over. I never wanted Adam to stop touching me, to stop needing me like this.