Beginnings (21 page)

Annie.

All the memories came flooding back.

Holy shit
.

I turned my head to look at her.

“Annie,” I whispered. For the first time in my life, tears started to form.

I sat on the bed, her back facing me.
Annie.
I lifted my hand and rested it on her side over the covers, feeling her body move up and down with every breath. I started to reach for her face but stopped myself. She was passed out drunk, not exactly how I'd pictured our reunion to be. I laughed a bit on the inside, picturing her so drunk because she was mad at me.
Oh, Annie.
I thought of all she had been through for me, waiting for me to remember. How stupid I had been to fight my feelings for her.

I couldn't believe four years had been taken from us. My mind recounted the time we'd spent together those past few weeks and I realized how lucky I was to get to fall in love with my soul mate twice. My body had never had any doubt where it belonged.

My yearning to touch her was getting intense. I quickly moved over to my chair. I was overcome with memories. It felt like ages ago, but the memories were fresh in my brain. I'd spent eight years of my life in this chair watching her sleep, falling deeper and deeper in love. I bent over, putting my face in my hands. I was physically aching for her now. I didn't want to touch her, not yet, not when she was passed out drunk. To feel her skin on mine for the first time would be too much, I wouldn't be able to hold back. I wanted her too much.

I sat there all night, watching her sleep. A few times I dozed off, and by daybreak I decided to leave before she woke up. It was torture leaving that room, but I forced myself to get into my car and drive to the frat house.

I went up to my room and was glad my roommate wasn't home yet. I got in the shower to try and calm myself. I kept thinking of Annie and I grew excited, over the top excited.
We can finally be together.
Everything became clear, I knew what I needed to do. Definitely no more Charlotte.
How did I even let that happen?
I felt like I was two different people, but I could remember and feel all the other person's emotions and memories.

I also needed to deal with my family. I did honestly love them.
My mom might do things her way, but if it hadn't been for her never giving up hope I might not be here.
I needed to go and apologize, but I also needed to let them know change was coming that I would be living my life my own way. It wasn't a conversation I was looking forward to, but a necessary one. First, I needed to get back to Annie.

The thought of her sent adrenaline pumping through my veins. It was the beginning of the rest of our lives, and I wanted to do it right.

After I finished my shower I looked through the closet for something to wear, but my previous style did not suit me at all. I pulled on a pair of jeans and my university hoodie.

Under my bed was a duffel bag. I pulled it out and stuffed in everything that would fit. I realized I was jumping to conclusions, assuming that Annie would want me to stay with her.
What if she doesn't?
I shoved the bag back under my bed. The fraternity wouldn’t be thrilled if I moved out, but I had no intention of not belonging anymore. I really liked my frat brothers, but if Annie said I could stay with her there was no way I wasn't.

My eyes were heavy from too little sleep.
Food, that's what I need.
I drove to a popular cafe and sat down. Everything smelled amazing. I decided on their Eggs Benedict, something I was never allowed to have. I still planned on being strict with my diet, I had to stay strong and healthy if I was going to live a long life with Annie, but occasional indulgences would be a must.

Coffee was not what I had expected.
Why do people drink this?
I finished my cup only because I hoped the caffeine would keep me awake.

The food was outstanding, I needed to share a meal with Annie.
I can take her to dinner!
The idea floored me; I could actually take her out and buy her dinner. On my way back to her apartment, I stopped at a coffee shop to get Annie a drink and something to eat. A realization had me bouncing in line: I could do this for her now. I could take care of her. If she got sick I could get her medicine or make her soup. I could hold her when she was sad. The line was moving slowly, and the desperation to get back to Annie was unbearable, but I was determined to start things off right.

I took the steps two at a time up to her apartment. I knocked on the door hoping someone was awake to hear. A few seconds later the door opened.

“Adam?” Haley looked surprised to see me. S
he better get used to it.

“Haley!” I was so happy to see her. I stepped right inside. “I brought Ann...” I stopped myself. “Is she still asleep?”

Haley was looking at me strangely, “You're very perky this morning.” She went into the kitchen and handed me an aspirin bottle, “Take these to her.”

“Thanks!” I walked down the hall. When I reached her room I started to get nervous. I took a deep breath and opened her door.

“You awake?”

She was laying under the covers. I chuckled, she was definitely awake; she always pulled the covers up over her head when she wished it wasn't morning.
Man, I've missed her
.

“I'm awake,” her voice was muffled.

“I brought you coffee, a bagel, and some aspirin. I figured you would be suffering from a massive hangover this morning.”

She pulled the covers down and I had to suppress a laugh. She was a mess, her hair was all over the place.

“Thanks.” She was avoiding having to look at me. When she finally did look she seemed embarrassed.
Annie being shy with me, that's a new one
.

I walked over to her and she sat up to take the drink.

“Do you remember anything from last night?”

The color drained from her face, “The last thing I remember is dancing with that guy.”

I scowled, wishing I could forget his hands all over her, “So nothing after that?”

She was worried. I knew it was bothering her not remembering. I smiled at her to let her know everything was okay.

“I think you brought me home?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t let you stay at the party.”
She was so drunk
. “You were entertaining, to say the least.” She buried her head in her hands and groaned. “Don't be embarrassed, you were cute. You kept telling me how good I smell.” She groaned loader. I loved seeing how embarrassed she got with me.

This could be fun, her not knowing.

She looked at me fearfully, “I didn't say anything weird, did I? Anything about you and me?” Her voice was worried and it was too easy to mess with her.

“Other than the fact that you're madly in love with me?”

“What!?” She looked horrified.

I couldn't hold back the laughter. I'd never seen her eyes get so big.

“I'm kidding.”

Her whole body relaxed. For a moment we were back in her old room, and I was teasing her. My longing for her intensified; I needed to get out of there.

“Well, I'm going to go and let you recover.” My body refused to move. For a brief moment I wanted to tell her, but I needed to see Charlotte and my family first.

“Do you want to stay and hang out? We could rent some movies, and get a pizza?” She wanted me to stay more than she let on. It was killing me not to.

“I actually have to take care of some things today.”

“Oh, okay. Maybe some other time.”

Disappointing Annie always made me feel terrible. I got to the door, knowing any minute my walls would come down.

I had almost forgotten to ask her about dinner, “I want to take you to dinner tonight.”

“Okay.”

That's all it took and I was ecstatic.

Dinner with Annie!

Best. Day. Ever
.

A smile spread across my face, “I'll pick you up at six.”

She was speechless and it made me chuckle some more. It took all the strength I had to leave her and go back to my car. Six o'clock was an eternity away.

********

I walked into Charlotte's sorority and one of her sisters was walking by.

“Charlotte's in the main room,” she said as she headed up the stairs.

I made my way to her, and I found her drinking coffee, talking to another girl.

“Hey, Charlotte, can we go outside and talk?” I wanted to get this over with.

Both girls glared at me.

She held her chin up exactly as my mother would have, “We can talk here.”

“I'd rather talk in private.”

She looked me up and down. Her face dropped a bit when she finished studying me.

“Fine.”

We went out the door and stood in the yard.

“If you came to tell me you cheated on me I'm not surprised, but know that I will not tolerate this behavior in the future. Go and sow your wild oats, or whatever you want to call it, just don't be so obvious about it. Remember when we are married I will not allow it.” Her posture and tone of voice were so similar to my mother it was unnerving. It was such a weird world my family lived in, Charlotte would fit right in; she knew how it worked.

“I actually came to end our relationship.”

“Excuse me?”

“This isn't what I want.”

“And she is?” Her hands were on her hips, talking down to me like I was merely a child.

“Yes,” I didn't want to lie to her. “Nothing has happened between us, but it will, so I need to end things between us.”

“Your family will never approve of her,” her tone was annoying me but it gave me a glimpse of my future if I stayed with her; I would have my parents relationship.

“It doesn't matter.”

She laughed (it was really more of a cackle), “The coma did mess with your brain.”

I'd said what I needed to, I wasn't going to stand there and hash it out, “Goodbye Charlotte.”

I honestly didn't know if they would ever accept Annie, but I knew they would never discard me for loving her.

I walked back to my car and got in. I didn't look back as I drove off, I don't even know if Charlotte was still standing there as I did. Her pride was hurt but I knew she'd be fine; there were plenty other rich men out there for her to find.
In a few years I doubt she will even remember we briefly dated.

The drive to my parents house gave me time to think and reflect on the past twelve years. Nobody should have to endure an eight year coma, including their families. I wondered if I would have woken up sooner if I'd never met Annie. It was strange to think about. The recovery would have been a lot easier. I wouldn't have had to spend the first year in intense physical therapy sessions, or spent all those days with tutors. I would have attended a private school where it was expected of me to be the top of my class. All my free time would have been spent studying. My social events would have been based on “importance,” as dictated by my mother.

The relationships I had with my siblings would be the same, with Asher and I keeping our distance. Alexia had always pushed herself to be the best and I doubt I would have seen much of her. She wasn't an emotional person, more detached like our mom, but I knew she cared; she was dedicating her life to neuroscience after all. If I hadn't endured the coma for so long, I wondered what field she might be in. There was no doubt she would change medical history, I'd never met someone with her drive. My youngest sister, Alyssa, and I would be the same as well, with a mutual feeling of adoration, the only difference being I would have been able to watch her grow.

The idea of never meeting Annie bared down on me and the instant pain I experienced proved that I wouldn't change a thing; the last four years of hell were worth it. Nobody could understand our bond, the devotion we had for each other; few have the opportunity to connect with someone so fully that their souls become intertwined. Annie meant more to me than a friend, or even a lover. It went deeper than that.

I hadn't even realized I had parked my car in front of my parents house. I rang the doorbell and the maid promptly answered.

I stepped inside, “Is anyone home?”
Why didn't I think to call ahead?

“Your father is in his study, and your mother and siblings are enjoying tea in the garden.”

“Thanks.” I headed to my dad's office and knocked.

“Come in,” his tone sounded impatient and annoyed at being disturbed.

I poked my head in, “Hey, Dad, I need to speak with everyone. Can you please come outside with me and we can all talk?”

“You do realize how upset your mother is with you?”

“Yes, that's partly why I'm here. I need to apologize.”

“Good, I'll follow you out.”

We made our way through the garden to the tea table. My mom and Alyssa had set it up together when she was little. I did love that my mom always made a point during her day to share tea with Alyssa, no matter how busy her schedule was. It had formed a special bond between them.