Behind The Mask (Nurses Book 2) (13 page)

“Cori, I’m so sorry! Oh please forgive me, I am so sorry!”

With my hand on my chest in an effort to calm my pounding heart, I see the concern all over his face.

“I’m okay, I’m okay. Don’t worry, just give me a minute to calm down and catch my breath.” I want to console him because he looks devastated that he scared me.

“Cori, what is it?” Gage is using his crutches as fast as he can to get to me.

“It’s nothing. Just give me a minute.”

“It’s not nothing. I accidentally scared her. I called her name a few times before I got right behind her. I didn’t mean to.” Martin is visibly upset about this.

“Martin, it’s okay, I’m okay. Look at me, I’m okay!”

Gage seems to calm down now that he has seen that I am in fact alright.  There’s a chair by the medicine cart, and he sinks down to it out of breath.

“Holy shit you scared me! I thought you were hurt. I got here as fast as I could.”

Totally unlike me, I reach a shaky hand out and put it on his shoulder. Instead of feeling like my skin is crawling, I don’t feel anything really. I’m in a total state of shock that all I’m capable of doing is staring at my hand clasped on him.

He seems shocked, too. He sits stock still, refusing to move a muscle under my hand for fear of spooking me. I appreciate that he is doing this for me.

Clearing his throat, Martin is finally the first to break the silence. “Cori, I need to talk to you about something. Gage already knows about this, so if you are comfortable with him being here, he can stay.”

I nod to Martin because strangely enough I am comfortable having Gage here. He has never done me wrong. Yeah, he may speak crudely in the heat of the moment, but we all have our ways of lashing out. He has shown concern for me on multiple occasions, and I need to get over myself. I used to never be a prude, so I don’t know why I have acted like I am towards him. Is it because I’m attracted to him that like a five-year-old girl I find everything he does is wrong?

“Okay, Cori,” Martin says as he looks around to make sure the hallway is empty. It is, I have my cart, chair, and computer all by the windows so I can see the water as I chart my nursing notes. The residents that stay on this end of the hallway have all gone to do appointments or wherever they go. “I need to talk to you about Sam. Have you noticed anything out of the ordinary with her? Has she talked to you about Gage?”

Gage? What does he have to do with this? It’s his girlfriend we’re talking about. “Um, no, she has never mentioned anything about him to me. I don’t know why she would. For some reason, she seems pissed at me lately, but I haven’t done anything wrong.”

I look towards Gage to try to get an understanding of what is going on, and I realize that my hand has been on his shoulder the entire time. I’m shocked. I never touch anyone longer than what I have to. If I can avoid it all together, I most certainly will go out of my way to.

“What’s going on, Gage? Why am I being questioned about your girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend? What gave you that idea? She keeps coming on to me. Last night I woke up to her sitting on top of me kissing my neck. She came in a few days ago while I was showering and was sitting on my bed. So no, that psycho isn’t my girlfriend.”

Relief floods my body. The feeling is so strong that I feel as if I will be knocked on my ass. For whatever reason, him not dating her causes me to exhale a breath I didn’t know I was holding. But I also realize that I am supremely pissed off that she has had her claws on him. I want to rip her apart, but I can’t because she is still technically my boss.

“So, what happens now, Martin?”

“Well, Gage, there isn’t much that can be done, except we can report it to Michelle in HR, but you know them, they probably won’t do much. If she hasn’t taken the hint this time then maybe we can do something, but she has left every time you have told her to. If it escalates or she refuses to leave, then I want you to call us.”

Martin walks off with just a nod to me, a small smirk evident on his lips. He must know something funny that I don’t.

“Cori, can I talk to you for a minute?” Gage’s voice brings me out of my musings.

“Oh, um, sure.” I don’t know what he needs, but the worry on his face gives me an uneasy feeling.

“Well, I got fitted for my socket today, so I will be on my feet soon. I’m hoping to leave here soon. I just wanted you to know. Damian is picking me up this weekend to get a few things and look at some places.”

Well, damn. Not only is he becoming a friend to my friend, but he is leaving! I’m terribly sad at the thought of not seeing him all the time now. I’ve grown accustomed to his moody self, and just the thought of not seeing him leaves a heaviness in my gut that I have never felt before.

“That’s really good, you are definitely going to be missed around here. I’m happy for you that things are looking up.” With that I walk off, not knowing what else to say. I feel the tears building, ready to bust over my lashes, I never thought I would be emotional over him.

Why am I crying over him? I have talked to him a handful of times, mainly just exchanging pleasantries towards each other and that is it. I walk towards the computer in the nurse’s station. I know Sam is behind me because I can smell her lip gloss, it’s a sickly sweet, artificial smell of something like vanilla.

“Why was your hand on Gage? You know that fraternizing with the patients is frowned upon. I could have you fired for that. Touch him again and I will do just that.” Sam has this ugly look on her face like she smells something terrible.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I touched his shoulder in a comforting way, not fraternizing. I wasn’t kissing him or hugging him. But if you want me fired, go ahead and try.”

I finish what I was doing on the main computer, grab my purse and sweater then leave. I don’t want to be here any longer than necessary, and I want to make sure that my car with fresh tires is good.

When I get home, I decide for the first time in a long damn time that I’m going to cook myself dinner. For a while, cooking was my solace, my comfort. The ability to create something from just a small amount of ingredients has a gratifying effect. When a recipe turns out exactly the way it’s supposed to, you can’t help but have a jump up and down moment on the inside.

So today, I’m going to make myself some dinner. Granted it’s just spaghetti with sauce from a jar, but it’s a step in the right direction for me. After I finish cooking, I sit in front of the TV and see some terrible reality show about moms who force their girls to dance. They are stage moms, I guess is the technical term for it. The show is both ridiculous and guilty pleasure-inducing as well.

Showering and laying down, sleep comes quickly. The nightmares, however, come on more savagely than before. When Xavier takes me in my dream, I can hear a woman’s voice. She’s laughing this trill sound like she’s thoroughly enjoying what’s happening to me. No woman was in the room with us, hell, the only women that were at the prison were random guards and nurses. The female guards were few and far in between because they were unable to take the inmates. So this voice is completely foreign to me.

In these nightmares, though, she never comes into sight. I can never see her face, but I can feel her hate radiating off of her in the dark corner she inhabits. She just sits and laughs and laughs, but I don’ know why, and I certainly don’t know who she is.

Awaking on a scream, I look over at the clock and it’s only four a.m. Even with the more intense nightmare, I slept longer than I normally do. Generally, I sleep a few hours at most, but tonight I slept six consecutive hours! I let out an excited yelp as I get up out of bed to change my sweat-soaked sheets and shower again. Sleep will elude me for the rest of the night, but for once I feel a bit refreshed.

Heading into work, the sun coming up casts a pinkish purple glow over the water. It’s an absolutely breathtaking sight to see. The birds flying overhead try to swoop down to catch some fish. I feel like today is going to be a great day, plus Sam is off so I know it will be.

When I get out of my car, I take a moment to breathe in the sea air, letting my mind wander to wherever it wants to go. At the moment, my thoughts are traveling back to Gage. It really does make my insides hurt to think that I won’t see him much anymore. Even though we don’t really talk, it’s still a comfort knowing he was there.

When I finally get inside and onto the wheezing elevator, I’m stunned to see Gage already up. “What are you doing up so early? You going to get out?” I mean he was riding the elevator down, but he didn’t even get off.

“I couldn’t sleep, but I was waiting for you to get in.” The thought that he was waiting for me warms something inside of me, and even though my head is down and my hair is a curtain, I cannot hide the smile that is on my face.

“Your smile is incredible. I keep telling you it’s a shame you don’t do it that often.”

“Well, guess I need to fix that.”

Surprising myself that I seem to be flirting a little, but then I remember Sam and my smile falters, because even if he isn’t dating her, she is still obsessed with him. I can’t deal with any kind of obsession.

When the doors open with a faint ding noise, I throw out a quick ‘see ya’ and walk off. Emily is at the nurse’s station waiting  for me to get in. I’m the only nurse up here today because we’ve had a couple of residents get discharged over the past few days. So, besides medicine hand out taking a little bit longer, things won’t be so bad.

“Ugh, I have been waiting for you, but I see you were busy with someone else’s man. Surprised you would be one to fuck around with taken men. Especially with, you know.” She waves her finger in a circle around my face as if my scars will turn off every man on the planet.

“Well, ya know, I am full of surprises. Besides, last I heard, he wasn’t taken.” I may have some decent comebacks, but on the inside, I am crushed. Nobody has said anything so cruel to me since Xavier. I don’t say this often, but Emily is a cunt. Some women just have that attitude and mentality that gives them the moniker.

“You already know Sam is riding that train, so stay off. I would hate to see something bad happen to you, I’m sure you’re still healing and all.” Even as she accentuates the word hate it still doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is that as she was saying the last bit of her diatribe, she reaches out and grabs my hand. I wasn’t expecting it because everyone around here has an understanding of do not touch me.

I immediately seize up and try to rip my hand away from her. She won’t let it go, instead smiling at my panic. She chuckles as she sees the tears welling in my eyes.

“Let her fucking go now, or else I will put you down,” Gage spits each word out with pure venom. A chill runs down my spine at the coldness in his voice.

“Oh, don’t you worry, Gage, just helping little Cori here. She seemed to be misunderstanding something.” Emily seems a little scared, while inside I’m screaming at her to let me go. When she finally does, I fight the urge to run away. She just smiles this hateful smile and then stalks off to ruin other people’s day.

I start to run, not being able to help it, but I need some time to panic on my own without others eyes on me. Being able to calm myself down, I guess.

“STOP! You are not running! You are NOT going to give her the satisfaction. She grabbed your hand, she didn’t hurt you. Do not give that bitch the satisfaction of getting to you. You are okay, just breathe. Just breathe!” Gage wheels himself towards me. As soon as he yelled at me to stop, my feet stopped moving.

By the time he gets to me, I’m shaking like a leaf in the wind. My skin feels like it’s on fire where she touched, yet cold where she didn’t. Even when my tires got slashed, I didn’t feel this scared. Just a simple touch has got me wanting to claw my skin off.

But I breathe in and I breathe out. In, out, in, out. Over and over, until eventually my heartbeat isn’t heard in my ears, and my skin stops crawling. I focus on the in and the out, and as I do that, I find myself calming myself down.

Inside, I’m jumping for joy. Hooting and hollering in my head with a fierceness that can only be described as like a lioness who has defended her pride. I did this, and I want to fist pump the air and jump up and down.

“I rocked this shit!” I yell out, not even bothering to hide my reaction from Gage.

“Yes, you did! I am so proud of you Cori. You listened to me, and you breathed through it. You, it was all you.”

An affection for Gage is welling up inside of me that I didn’t know was possible. He isn’t trying to fix me, instead, he is helping me fix myself. Instead of him doing the dirty work and heavy lifting, he is allowing me to burden my own load. He is forcing me to do it myself.

I’m seeing him in a new light, not as one who just wants to get in my pants, but as one who wants to help strengthen me and help with my confidence. Seeing him in this new way, I already knew how incredibly sexy he is, but now with this. He is everything. This is a man who is sexy not only outside but on the inside as well.

The rest of the day goes off without a hitch. Sam not being here doesn’t make a huge difference because we don’t talk to each other much when we are here, but it makes for a truly happier place without her. She is artificially happy, but with her gone the air on the floor is naturally happy. Allyn was the second person of the day to compliment my smile. He said I had dimples like his CC. I think he misses her more than he lets on, and he lets on a lot. He is quick to tell you how special she was, how much she was his hero, and how much he loved her. But then he will tell you a dirty joke and it makes you forget that pensive side he had just shown.

Finishing up my shift, I decide to go tell Gage goodbye for the weekend. As I lift my hand to knock, he opens the door, and I practically fall face first into his crotch.

I immediately tense up, and then I feel it. Something starts poking me in the eye, and I jump up as if his crotch is on fire.

“Um, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I was just getting ready to knock on your door and then, well, you know.” I keep staring at the ground because I am mortified and can’t look him in the eyes. My face is on fire, and I have sweat dripping down to my butt crack.