Behind the Strings (12 page)

29

Jesse arrived at his location a few minutes before I did mine. He had me switch my lens to face the city street and he did the same. Now it looked like we were walking side by side. I could hear the music coming from the bar in front of me once I walked up to it. The heart and soul of my world, country music, blasted from inside.

“I’ve played that bar a couple times with some friends through the years. It gets pretty loud, so we probably won’t hear much of each other, but I know you’ll enjoy it, so go ahead inside.”

I ordered a beer and pulled myself up onto an empty stool at the bar. Music venues in Nashville were never more than a stone’s throw away no matter where you went, but this place was different. It was still vibrant and full of life with the best kind of music playing through the speakers, but on the evening of this chilly Saturday, the screams of overjoyed football fans echoed through the place. A wall of televisions surrounded me and seas of colors blinded me as jerseys from multiple college football teams filled the room. A difference from the city that lives and breathes music over all else…it fascinated me that sports was certainly the highlight of tonight here in Chicago, even in a country bar like this.

Neither of us said much for the hour, but every now and then we’d look through our phones and smile. It was like anything that needed to be said was heard loud and clear. We were both content, enjoying the moment and each other’s company. No words needed to be spoken. For me, just knowing he was there at I took in my surroundings, that was enough.

“There’s one more stop in tonight’s adventure,” Jesse said through the ringing of my ears as I left my second stop of the night.

“Oh yeah? Where to?”

“Ah, now if I told you, what fun would that be?”

Once again he gave me an address and I waved my hand into the street at a cab rolling by. Not more than ten minutes later, I arrived at the final destination. I hesitated at first walking through a set of hotel doors where I wasn’t staying, but once I walked through the lobby I discovered some kind of fancy craft cocktail lounge waiting for me. I followed the checkered flooring to sleek, burgundy-colored booth and made myself comfortable while Jesse told me what to order once the waitress had arrived.

I ordered the craft cocktail Jesse told to me and leaned back, taking in the sound of instrumental jazz that played in the bar.

“I could get used to this,” I said.

“Stick with me then and I’ll make sure you do.”

Jesse was in the middle of talking when the waitress came back with my drink. Reacting to her uncertain look before she set it down in from of me, I again explained the situation and watched her heart melt, just like the one at the pizza place had. She said she would make it happen and told me I was a lucky girl.

Whatever drink Jesse ordered was beyond perfection. I was sipping slowly on the second one before he had even finished his first. It was getting late and I could feel my body tiring. My flight was rather early in the morning and I knew what it was trying to tell me so I slurped down the final few sips before Jesse so chivalrously walked me back to my hotel room.

“I hope you had fun tonight,” he said as I kicked off my wedges.

“It was amazing.”

“Well, you get some rest and get back here safe. And maybe if I’m lucky, you’ll let me take you out for real?”

“The sooner the better,” I said.

After we said goodnight, I fell blissfully onto the bed. My eyes were closed as I thought about the last few hours. How did I get this lucky? Was Jesse really this perfect? I smiled at the thought of it. I tried not to question any of it as I indulged in the idea of him and me and what was to come. I didn’t want to care about tomorrow or the next day. I didn’t want to think about where this would lead or how it could go wrong. I just wanted to lie there in that bed for as long as I could, loving the idea of what was.

30

Life did not slow down once I landed back in Nashville. It was another week filled with endless phone interviews and email invites to showcases, all on top of trying to finish my Maiden Voyage write up before the deadline. There didn’t seem to be enough of me to go around for everywhere I had scheduled myself to be, but somehow I managed to pull it off and at week’s end still seemed to be on my feet.

I felt like part of it was thanks to Jesse. We didn’t miss a beat after Chicago. He was the calmness I looked forward to each night. Once I was snuggled up in my bed I would call him. Even if he was performing, he’d take his breaks to say goodnight and sometimes I’d even ask him to leave the phone on so I could listen to him sing. If I fell asleep before he got back to me, he’d just hang up when his night was over and text me in the morning.

We quickly settled into a cozy little routine, making our crazy schedules work no matter what we had to do, because apparently that’s what you do in relationships. All of it was new to me, and parts of it were for Jesse, too, but for the most part he was teaching me.

When Friday came around, I wasn’t quite done with my blogger duties. I had accepted an invitation to an artist showcase just outside of town that evening. Jesse had offered to come with me, so I left the office a little early that afternoon to pick him up. I veered my car into an empty spot in front of a brick building that sat on the corner of the streets he had given me. A few minutes later I watched as Jesse stepped out of his loft and headed down a black metal staircase alongside the building.

“Cute area,” I said once he was in the car.

“It’s cool. I like the old town historical vibe.”

“I can see why,” I said. “Thanks for coming with me.”

“Any excuse to spend time with you? I’ll take it.”

He leaned in for a kiss before I put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb. On our way to the venue, we stopped for dinner at some place he saw on a television show and had been dying to try
             

“So, how adventurous are you feeling tonight?” Jesse asked once we were seated.             

I thought back to lunch with Logan where he praised me for stepping outside of my comfort zone from the picky teenager I once was. Apparently this very rustic restaurant was known for its mouthwatering appetizers, so we ordered a little bit of everything.

“Are you happy?” Jesse asked across from a tableful of mounds of fried foods.              

“With the fried pickles or the gumbo?” I asked.

“All of the above,” he said, but I knew that’s not what he meant.

He didn’t care about the fried pickles or the gumbo. We had spent the last couple of weeks together just like people in relationships would do, and I felt he was searching for an inclination that that might be where this was headed. We enjoyed each other’s company and I certainly enjoyed the kissing part of it, but as far as the feelings part of it, well, that was still yet to be discussed. There didn’t seem to really be a better time to talk about it than there in the middle of greasy fingers and spicy nachos, so that we did.

“Yes,” I said, finally.

“Really happy?”

“If we’re being honest, I don’t really think I’ve ever actually let myself be happy. There’s just something about you that lets me be me.”

I told him how I liked being around him and how in the moments he crossed my mind when he wasn’t around I smiled at the idea that he was a part of my life. That it didn’t matter if I was stressed, sad or frustrated; he seemed to make it all disappear all because he was next to me.

When I was finished, Jesse’s eyes stayed fixated on his plate. He kept putting bite after bite of food into his mouth, not looking up, which scared me. I almost wanted to rewind the last five minutes. I had gotten so caught up in all the amazing moments that we shared I hadn’t thought about whether or not there was a possibility he didn’t feel the same. Now it was suddenly at the forefront of my mind.

He scooped up the final bite of brisket from his plate and wiped his fingers clean. His hands reached out onto the table, palms face up and wiggled his fingers as he smiled. I slowly set my hands on top his while he cleared his throat.

“You remember the first night we met?” he asked.

“I do,” I said. I thought back to the night Logan first introduced us. How even then I felt a spark when he hugged me.

“I think I fell for you the moment I wrapped my arms around you. I’d never been so taken by someone before, but gosh, Celia there’s something about you that erases every fear and insecurity in my life. When I’m around you, it’s like every dream I’ve ever had is standing right in front of me. I never want to go to sleep because honestly I fear that I might wake up one day to find that you’ve finally realized you deserve so much better than me.”

If there was a part of me that hadn’t already fallen for Jesse before tonight, after that, it stood no chance. I squeezed his hands so tight that my knuckles started to turn white. The glistening in my eyes came from the fact that I had never felt more wanted in my entire life than right there, at some hole-in-the-wall diner in the middle of nowhere, Tennessee. I stared straight into his eyes, ingraining everything about him and this moment into my memory.

“Everything I didn’t know I was looking for,” I took a second to wipe away a tear that had fallen, “…it’s there whenever I’m with you. I don’t know what it is that you think I deserve, but I don’t want anything other than what’s right here, right now.”

A few more tears fell from my eyes and Jesse stretched across the table to wipe them away. He held on to my hand the whole rest of the time we sat there and even after we got up to leave. He pushed open the door for me and we stepped out into the moonlit sky. I started the car and we pulled off onto the country road on our way to the showcase to make more of those memories.

31

The showcase was a lot of fun. It was something new the town had started in hopes of producing Nashville’s next big thing. There wasn’t any particular artist who really stood out to me, but I liked the idea of the show as a whole, so I spent some time afterwards talking to the creator of it, letting her know I’d try my best to see if we could fit it into an upcoming post.

I wasn’t very tired when we left and asked Jesse if he was in the mood to keep the night going. He agreed and I decided I wanted to try someplace new. Maybe someplace neither of us had ever been before. We brainstormed for a while on the drive back towards Nashville. It took most of the drive and a lot of research on our modern technology, but we discovered a quaint little speakeasy with a mellow vibe and decided to check it out.

I almost felt like lounges had become kind of our thing. The oversized, comfy seating and upscale drinks in a more laid-back setting…it was much more convenient to cuddle up next to him with a cocktail in our hands and continue our conversation.

“You’re beautiful. Have I told that?” he asked.

“Maybe once or twice,” I said, “but I like hearing you say it.”

He reached his arm around me and I leaned in close enough that our bodies were touching. We laughed our way through multiple drinks and I watched as Jesse took one final sip from his glass and freed his hand by placing it on the table in front of us. His fingers flirted with mine for a little before they made their way to the bareness of my thighs. I could see the goose bumps form as he massaged his hands up and down.

“Cold?” he asked.

I looked into his eyes and shook my head. Lifting my hand to his face, I swept his hair from it, never looking away. I was much less reserved at that point in the night, so I placed my hand on the back of his head and pulled him closer, surrendering into his embrace. I could feel my hand grow tighter around the stem of my martini glass each time his lips met mine.

I kept my eyes closed as he moved from my lips to my cheek. There wasn’t much more I could take once I felt them wrap around my ear. I pulled back abruptly, and his immediate response was to apologize. My vision wasn’t incredibly clear in that moment, but my desire for him was undeniable.

“Can we go now?” I whispered heavily in his ear.

“Are you okay?”

I pressed my lips against his again to help him understand.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said, taking my hand and leading me out of the bar.

Jesse was in much better condition to drive at that point in the night, so he took the keys and helped me into the passenger seat. I was well-behaved for as long as I could be, but the more I thought about his lips on me, his strong hands and broad chest, and the more the alcohol set in, the less modest I became. I leaned over to him and brushed my lips from his neck to his ear. The heavier his breathing got the more intensely I pressed against him. Every red light we hit he would grab me, trace my lips with his tongue and when I’d pulled back slightly as he reached for me he would whisper how bad he wanted me.

It seemed like we had covered hundreds of miles before we pulled up to Jesse’s loft. The same spot I had pulled in before was still open. He pulled into it and both of us wasted no time getting out of the car after he turned off the ignition. I leaned heavily on the railing as I stumbled up the stairs. He didn’t hesitate to turn the key in the door and push it open for me to step inside.

“Hey,” he said as I closed the door behind us.

He wrapped me up in his arms and I could feel his heart beating again my chest. My hands rubbed up and down his back as I looked up at him. My whole body was yearning for him. I wanted to taste him, to feel him, to hear him need me as much as I needed him. I leaned up to kiss him again, but this time he pulled back.

“Come here,” he said pulling me to through the foyer to the living room couch. “I want to do this right. I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow with any regrets.”

“Why do you think I would regret this?”

“Well, it’s just, you had a lot to drink and I don’t know where your head’s at.”

I lifted his chin. “My head and my heart are in the same exact place right now. I haven’t regretted a single moment I’ve spent with you. You make me happy and I want nothing more than to spend tonight showing you how much.”

“You’re sure?” he asked.

I pulled myself on top of him, slowly undoing each button of my blouse until it fell to the floor behind me. His hands gripped my waist as I leaned into him. My breathing became quicker every time I felt the moistness of his lips on my skin. First I felt it on my chest and then my stomach. I leaned back into his hands the deeper he went until finally he stood. With my legs wrapped firmly around him, he took me to his bedroom.

My body wouldn’t lie still as he lay me down on the bed. He pulled his shirt over his head, hovering over top of me. He slid his finger all the way down to the button of my shorts. My whole body was shaking as he slid them off and tossed them off the side of the bed. His hand returned to caress firmly between my legs, moving slowly up and down. The faster his fingers moved the louder I became. I grasped my fingers into his back. He knew he had me exactly where he wanted me. I watched him as he balanced over me, unzipping his jeans and removing the last bit of clothing he had on.

He left me lying there, yearning, as he reached to open the drawer of his nightstand. He pulled a condom from it and slid it on before he slowly eased inside of me. He went gentle at first, as he could feel me tense up around him. Once he made his way fully inside, his thrusts became deeper. My hands grabbed his waist to pull him in against me, each time harder than the last. The small of my back rose off the bed, my hands gripped him tighter as the pulsing sensation in me grew stronger. He would tease me by changing up his tempo every now and then until he stopped to turn me over.

I couldn’t hold out much longer. I could feel myself tense each time he drew himself in. I was shaking even more than before. He lifted me up to him so my back was pressed firmly against his chest and as soon as his hand slid well below my belly button everything inside of me began to quiver.

“That a girl,” he whispered in my ear.

With a few more thrusts, he did the same, biting gently on my neck to muffle himself as he finished. I stayed leaning against him for much longer after we were done, then I gently rested my head on his shoulder while he kissed my neck over and over again, both of us holding on to that moment as long as life would let us.